Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Fan Pooison Has a Thought
Famed hawkian douchewank, the legendary Fan Pooison, just had a thought.
However, that problem was quickly remedied when the D.J. played Bruno Mars and the girls went “Woo!!” And order was restored to the vast wasteland of Van’s beautiful mind.
Note the classic Mark of the ‘Bag cock-n-balls forehead sheen formation on Van’s head. The Mark tells all.
I hope this pic was taken just after the right hott said “If you stop me again whilst I’m walking I’ll cut your fucking Jacobs off!”
The review for “Shark Sandwich” was merely a two word review which simply read “Shit Sandwich”.
HA!
That’s a rubber mask, man. Fuccen Sleestaks.
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This dude is really “wacky”. It’s his “wackiness I can’t stand. Although, I’d like to be the meat in that sandwich (without the “wacky” hair and facial expression).
Not a big fan, Fan Pooison. Did you learn nothing from Sharkbag’s defeat at the 2010 Douchies (Registered Trademark, DB1)? Colored mohawks are out. Not douchey enough. Sure it netted you these two hotts but its not going to get you to the top. You need to get a poultry fetish, no better yet, a ham fetish. Also you should probably hate on an inanimate object and blame it for your lifes failures. May I suggest unicycles? Well, that’s all the advice I have for you now Fan, I’ve got hand gestures that need inventing.
The douchey “HEY EVERYONE! LOOK AT ME!!!” tall, colored mohawk will always be with us, I’m afraid. At least until club-hopping scrotewads like this guy are convinced that it makes them easier for psychotics to hunt and kill in restrooms or out in the back alleys when they’re trying to score some X. Come on, psychologically imbalanced misanthropes– I’m looking at you to take care of this problem.
Mrs Wedgie thinks his hair is cute, and kind of looks like a candy kiss. Sort of like the Oompa Loompa, without the orange.
But she still says yuk.
For my part, I think this pic would be much better if you just took the shit out of the sandwich and let the girls kiss each other.
Where I’m from, that costs extra.
@Douchey Lewis & The News, GREAT “Snatch” quote. I thought I was the only Yank who appreciated the term “Jacobs.” Thank you for a good laugh.
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@Nancy, your “Nut Cruncher” from the previous post freakin pert near made me spit my 100% Arabica coffee all over my MacBookPro. (This message brought to you by Apple Computers and Coffee Growers of America, aka- ACCGA…) Keep the hand gestures coming, Nancy. You’re cracking my shit up.
Captain Garanichode, 9.59 FTFW
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If his forehead has the Mark of the ‘Bag, his nose is the taint and his mouth the Anus of the Bag. Add in tongue and lips for optional hemorrhoids.
@Taint, thank you. I aim to please. Well you guys, not the douchebags. Good choice with the Arabica beans. Robusta is not okay.
@Blinded, I will do none of those things.
I’ll bet dollars to donuts that it’s his hair that is the only thing “standing tall”. Too much of a “HOLY SHIT that line actually worked” on his face to actually know what to do.
Hott on the right looks rather angry. It’s turning me on.
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Hott on the left is, I think, Kate something… she’s an Internet model who was chosen by Playboy or something as a Hometown Hottie or something like that.
The last think Pfah remembered before the elephant attack was a strange sucking feeling on top of his skull.
I don’t think that’s hair. More like he’s a bald guy standing under a giraffe with diarrhea. Would also explain his facial expression.
I think someone asked him if he wanted a bottle in front of him, or a frontal lobotomy. Needless to say, he chose…poorly.
The one on the right looks like she’s trying not to vomit. As am I.
I just punched a puppy in the nads.
Either he’s been taking gelcaps, or the Polymer Clay Society has gotten to his head….either way, that’s a morphed fauxhawk. No wonder he’s surprised. FIMO might want to hire his modeling services for their clay.
I like to believe these two chics were just about to kiss each other when someone dangled a severed head between them.
My goal is to please. Well guys, no DOUCHEBAGS. Good choice Arabica beans. Robusta is not acceptable.
@MP, I know why I like you now. We have so much in common. You’re good parts, Motorcycle Parts.
I suggest unicycles? Well, that’s all the advice I have for you today, Fan, I hand gestures to be invented.