Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Where’s Captain Shnook?

Somewhere in this lineup of two party girls and a Dane Cookbag, I’ve carefully hidden a 19th Century literary figure of early proto-douchebaggery.

Can you find his greasy naval scurvyness?

# posted by douchebag1
9:17 am January, 4 anonymouse said...

BOOBS.

9:17 am January, 4 anonymouse said...

I’m sorry, what were you saying?

9:38 am January, 4 Bag A said...

Ahoy! Moby Bleeth!

9:44 am January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Hey chubster with the ill-fitting dress , why the florets of cauliflower tattoo on the shoulder? You like florets?
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Hey toad on the left, please punch yourself in the mouth, hard, to save me a trip over to do it myself…… matter of fact kick yourself in the balls, too
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Little tight hottie in front, bathe yourself in sulfuric acid to remove the stank from this scene, then bathe yourself in my ejacualate to remove the stank of sulphuric acid, don’t worry , I can get it airborne with distance
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I can’t find the C’p’n and I’m done trying

9:53 am January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Is it sulphuric or sulfuric? I didn’t feel like googling so I did both, catch that? Did ya? Huh? Eh?
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Moral of the story is never turn off a 5-1 hockey game with 7 minutes to play, you may miss some Colton Orr haymakers
.

10:08 am January, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I didn’t know that Michael J. Fox was doing tattoos. Wow. He’s a real inspiration.
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.
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What? Too soon? Too late??

10:20 am January, 4 Mr. White said...

Thunder Thighs are GO!

10:50 am January, 4 Deltus said...

Trying not to fall into the wondrous cleavage of the wee hott bleeth in the middle…
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Can’t do it. Is the person we’re looking for in there?

11:04 am January, 4 Wedgie said...

Just add the letter “i” to the end of the Captain’s name, and you have a perfect pairing with DB1’s other godless creation. Who is apparently getting paid serious wampum to show up at club openings.
What is that called, professional asshole?

11:26 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Wedgie, Professional asshole? That’s what that test I took in highschool said I would be good at. That and Park Ranger.

@Doc Bunsen, not soon enough! Hahahahahaha!

Captain Shnook, I found you. But I haven’t found Jesus yet. Must be a sign.

@anonymous, if I every met you in person I would not stop beating you. Court orders would definitely be called for.

11:34 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

^I meant anonymouse, but anonymous works too.

11:34 am January, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

You gotta feel a little sorry for the douche on the left. I mean he’s brave enough to go out in public wearing that splint in his mouth to prop up his nose after that hellacious “accident” where his upper palate totally collapsed when he tried to fellate a rabbi’s badger.

11:37 am January, 4 I R A Darth Aggie said...

To the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I mock thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last snark at thee.

11:54 am January, 4 anonymouse said...

ND – why?

12:28 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I will have two plates of big black zaftig please. She likes anal.

2:50 pm January, 4 Menschenjaeger said...

Hey, guys, remember the Words of Dalton: BE NICE. You onn the right, don’t listen to their sad little jibes. You put the “curvy” in “scurvy.”
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.This message brought to you by 100 proof Bonded Old Grand-Dad.

3:07 pm January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

Because Anonymouse, your swagger sucks, that’s why.

3:31 pm January, 4 mr.reeve said...

Wow, unfinished tatt gal. Haven’t we seen her boyfriend on this site a while back, unfinished tatt guy?

8:15 pm January, 4 Hardouche Wankstain said...

Black dress thick babe, please to touch and fill in the names on the map of the fiefdoms of a preunited Germany on your left arm. Think I can’t spell Prussia in goo? Think again. Balding Balkan fauxhawk douches, please exit stage left. And by stage I mean balcony and by left, I mean my left hook.

10:18 pm January, 4 Stephanie said...

Did she start crying before the tattoo was over? Those do actually hurt -those tattoos,you pusses.
And then everyone’s gonna ask you about your tattoo, what is it?

10:31 pm January, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Stephanie–I’d say it’s a 10,000x magnification of the latest strain of the clap. She wants to put out a fair warning to potential suitors, and I commend her for that. I’ve begin using that as a warning when people wanna get stupid shit: I say, “Are you prepared to explain that tattoo, at least once a day, for the next 70 years? Because that’s what’s gonna happen.” I told that to one of our former apprentices, who was getting a really dumb, esoteric movie reference on his FUCCEN HANDS. He scoffed at my predilection and did it anyway. After watching him explain it to nearly every customer we had for three months straight, I could almost smell the exasperation. Take heed, kids. It’s nice to be all “unique”, but it’s a right pain in the ass to tell the story over and over and over and over and over and over. No one really has to ask me questions. Tiger, Geisha, Peacock, Moth, Tall Ship, Flowers. I don’t like people asking fucking questions.

7:24 am January, 5 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

After making a pact with his barber,Mephistopheles polled his horns and went douche with a single point hairstyle, and found himself pulling in both babes and tatted pudwanks.

9:26 am January, 5 John said...

Just to clarify, the tattoo is a Hibiscus. As a line drawing with no color it’s not a terrible rendering. Then again, if it was meant as douche repellent, it’s not working.

2:56 am January, 6 Canada Pharmacy said...

yourself in sulfuric acid to remove the stank from this scene, then bathe yourself in my ejacualate to remove the stank of sulphuric acid

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