Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Angry Lip Guy Shushes You

For his ear bling, featuring only the finest hard plastic diamelles, was purchased at a premium when deBeers was having a “Douche Sale.”

Pouty Patrice, she of purity of suckle cheek, and teeth of lickworthy Crest white strip whiteness, offers the Eye of Coitus, and for that, I triple vault through a field of hallucinogenic gnats just for the chance to fondle her custom made “BieberPod” iPod ear phones.

# posted by douchebag1
7:17 am February, 22 DarkSock said...

“…And I shall defile this young woman, unless I receive the sum of….ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Mwuha ha ha haaaa!”

7:25 am February, 22 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I’d like to attach one end of a chain to that lip ring and the other end to a bullet train bound for Kyoto.

7:31 am February, 22 Foxy Mocksy said...

Your bling in tight, yo. Was the Dollar Store havin’ a Two for One? Wait, are you sushing me? Is it because you’re hunting Wabbits?

7:34 am February, 22 Wedgie said...

^While you’re doing that, I’ll shush her with my johnson.

7:37 am February, 22 Anonymous said...

Is that a fecal remnant on his lip?

Didn’t anyone on the set of his last German Scheiße video shoot have the decency to let him know about it before letting him walk off?

7:41 am February, 22 DarkSock said...

Once again Todd’s pet tapeworm ruins a first date.

7:56 am February, 22 Foxy Mocksy said...

This douche is a librarian hott in the making. Slap on a wig and some glasses and Viola! (That’s all it takes right? He’s already got the shush and seductive eyebrow raise down pat.)

8:25 am February, 22 Anonymous said...

Once again DJ Lipshush got those eyebrows waxed.

8:26 am February, 22 Collaz B. Popped said...

Once again D.J. Lipshush got his eyebrows waxed.

8:37 am February, 22 Deltus said...

Asked where the bad man stuck his pee-pee, Todd tried to point to his mouth. His frustrations grew when asked, “In your nose??”

8:43 am February, 22 Douche Springsteen said...

Pouty Patrice would not look out of place among the hotts of NYC or Los Angeles. She needs to move out of Davenport, IA.

8:56 am February, 22 DarkSock said...

Most expensive first date…and worth every peso.

9:23 am February, 22 dbBen said...

Unless she has squid legs, this speaks perfectly to the dichotomy. Even then…
.
Angry Lip Guy just applied to be the Special Events Coordinator at the National Museum of Women in the Arts down in D.C. yo. Gonna have some sick partays up in that biznass if he gets the gig yo.

9:24 am February, 22 jonezy said...

I bet her tweets say things like “what the hell is an Arcade Fire- Beiber should have totally won” and “Forever 21 is having the best sale this weekend” and “can’t believe I just caught Johnny doing his eyebrow thing to some slut at club XO Douchosity. Again! Stupid bitch!@Johnny4EvaBallin#”

9:35 am February, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She has a Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Cindy Crawford, and pre-stroke Gina Gershon thing going on mang. Son.

9:37 am February, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

After the first incident Lip Guy decided perhaps he wasn’t cut out for fishing.

9:49 am February, 22 Anonymous said...
10:14 am February, 22 Douchble Helix said...

His earring is either Coco Channel or Two Lucky Horseshoes.

10:20 am February, 22 Vin Douchal said...

I’d like to see a fastball get away from Randy Johnson and tear off his eyebrows

10:30 am February, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Barney now gets to sit in silently eternity pondering his folly about pressing his finger to his lips after using it to stir the yak semen into his beer because he wanted to look like a man.

10:41 am February, 22 The Dude said...

I’m going to have my soul pierced and tattoo’d.

And groin-shaved.

10:41 am February, 22 The Dude said...

My soul needs a librarian.

10:42 am February, 22 The Dude said...

A patrician librarian, preferably.

11:02 am February, 22 Wheezer said...

I think his finger is hiding the other cockk rail.

12:06 pm February, 22 Daggerbagger' said...

I almost think shes been photoshopped in from a shampoo commercial, her hair has shine AND bounce! Pointy finger is indicating the number of papers he passed this semester

1:51 pm February, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Eyebrow Twins. I think they got rejected for the Super Friends in favor of the purple monkey that pee into his own mouth.

2:49 pm February, 22 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

That little cleft/dented/dimpled chin would make a perfect resting place for my love wand….

just sayin’….

2:51 pm February, 22 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Her little cleft/dented/dimpled chin is so sexy….

Take it away Dark Sock!

6:40 pm February, 22 Steve L. said...

this douchebag’s eyebrows are a lot angrier than his lips.

9:57 pm February, 22 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Indeed, it is a pleasure to see a hotchick first, then the douchebag blur gradually clearing and coming into focus. Even if he is wearing red and has a fakey Asian martial arts kind of quality about him.
Grasshopper, Son.

10:03 pm February, 22 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Arc-tung!
The curvi-linear arch of his brow, his chain, her neckline, her curls, intimates what we do not see: the solid cone of her boobs and his Peyronie’s disease.

4:05 am February, 23 Motorcycle Parts said...

Pouty Patrice would not look out of place among the hotts of NYC or Los Angeles. We needs to move out of Davenport, IA.

1:33 pm February, 23 Stephanie said...

Shh,don’t tell anyone I’m brainless and I can’t wipe the food off of my mouth, short bus.

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