Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Ask DB1: Is Meathead Autodouche?

—–
Boss,

The site is becoming disconcerting to me. I get belittling doucheness, and believe me I’m all for it. So, I’m just going to put this out there:

I am a meathead.

I love being a meathead, and even compete in powerlifting competitions.

I don’t have abs, and I dress normal.

I don’t walk around with my shirt off, or distribute any other characteristics of douche.

However, it seems that more and more I log on and there is all this talk of “roid this” and “gym guys that”. So when did meathead = autodouche?

I mean you would think the cause would want more guys like us on your team. We will quite literally destroy that that is douche, with much ferocity. Some comments on The JordanBag, as well as the Planet Fitness commercial you posted the other day have kind of set me off.

Take the Planet Fitness commercial you posted a while back.

OK, “I pick things up and put them down” guy was douche, but it was a commercial. The guy probably isn’t like that all. Most meatheads I meet are honest hardworking educated guys like myself. I have a B.S. in IT, work in an office, and destroy my body on my off time. Why? Because I like being freaking huge and I like lifting really heavy shit.

I don’t find that in itsself douchy. I’m modest, so if anyone asks me about “working out” I usually just brush it off with like a “oh, i get to the gym when I can” comment. Because they won’t get me.

If I where to walk into a gym that had a little boy showing me around like the commercial of Planet Fitness, I would turn around and walk out. The same as anyone else would if they walked into a hospital and some pimple faced little kid said he would be performing your appendectomy today.

– Pumping Ira
—–

Well argued, P.I., and I agree that meatheadery is not autodouche. What is autodouche is excessive display of the male body for the purposes of peacocking spectacle and narcissism.

Provided you do none of these things, your weight lifting prowess is fully forgiven. And when Mecha Hiney Ho comes to pummel my ass, protection would be appreciated.

# posted by douchebag1
11:33 am February, 2 Mr. Biggs said...

Gotta chime in here with Pumping Ira. By drawing a finer line between douche and notta, and declaring notta when we need to, we make the force of our mock that much more potent.

11:34 am February, 2 Mr. Biggs said...

And how the F did that Mirin dead-muskrat-on-the-head wind up back on this site?
.
Oh right. It’s that kind of site.

11:39 am February, 2 Mr. Biggs said...

And I gave Jordan a notta with a warning. With that in mind, it’s worth understanding just why meatheads can so quickly blur the lines of douchitude.
.
See, I go to the gym myself. I’m no meathead, but I appreciate the hormonal rush that lifting weights can induce, and the mood changes it brings along. It’s very easy to lose one’s head in said rush, and go with the GSR, tribal tatts, and all the trademark characteristics of douchitude.
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And that’s also why meatheads who resist the douche can also be so intelligent. It takes a strong head to properly guide such a charged body away from the taint.

11:40 am February, 2 retard said...

Jordanbag has tribal tats, plus the need to display them to everyone by wearing a sleevless shirt.

‘Bag.

11:44 am February, 2 mr.reeve said...

These 3 pictured above are autodouche.
Working out until your anus pops out is not. That is true dedication. Pump on Pumping Ira. Pump on.

11:48 am February, 2 DarkSock said...

Get fit, eat right, die anyway.
.
Being physically fit doesn’t make you a douche any more than owning a gun makes you a murderer.
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But 99% of murders are committed with guns.
.
.
Just sayin’…

11:53 am February, 2 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

Ira,
.

I’m sorry to hear that you have no abs ( I assume “abs” refers to abdominal muscles.) It must be a a bitch to bend over, get up from a chair or even to take a dump.

11:59 am February, 2 Wedgie said...

Check out my notta buddy Onn Basson at World Gym. He’s a beast.

Nice guy, but don’t piss him off.
He’s trying to do his fuccen tri’s and you’re hogging the mirror.

12:02 pm February, 2 Crottenham said...

These three boys, particualry the one on the left with the lipstick on, have to be gay, right? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…..just sayin’

12:05 pm February, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Pumping Ira, its not so much the working out and physical fitness that I mock, it the when it bacomes the only thing that these guys define themselves, that I mock. Also when they say they claim they are more superior than a guy that doesn’t have an intense workout regime and thus more attractive to women. I mock that too. No real woman wants to go out with a guy who is more into himself and his bros than he is into her. (Pun intended)
.
So Ira it is the spectacle (the need to reveal the abs 24-7, the need to say you can bang some guys girlfriend better than he can, the need to be in the spotlight

12:10 pm February, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

Posted to quick.

Cont. The need to, hell, just the neediness in general. That is why I mock. When men are more emmotional and needier of attention than I am, its auto-douche. I can’t speak for the rest of the people on here, but that is why I do what I do.

12:16 pm February, 2 Deltus said...

P.I., it’s not autodouche. But you’re closer to being infected than the average Joe. Take some of the words you used in your letter: “destroy my body”, “quite literally destroy that that is douche, with much ferocity”, “I like being freaking huge and I like lifting really heavy shit”, etc. Although not douchey in and of themselves, it starts to smack of it.
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You do have an IT job, though, so that’s a very good buffer. But it’s not about what you could physically do to choadmunch should you encounter it, that isn’t relevant.
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Myself, although not a weight lifter, have a 2nd degree black belt in tae kwon do, I could maim or kill most anyone, roidbags or otherwise (arms, legs, ribs, and eyesockets break just as easily on them as on anyone). But I’ll never do that. I’m not a violent person, I’ll never meet these people, and if I did their being a complete douchebag doesn’t give me license to visit physical harm on them.
.
We mock, because *that* is how you fight the Infection.

12:27 pm February, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

^^
I also could maim or kill most anyone. I have a 6 speed black VW.

12:31 pm February, 2 Crucial Head said...

I have a meathead.
.
.
In my pants.

12:43 pm February, 2 Troy Tempest said...

mecha hiney ho? nice pee wee herman ref.

12:52 pm February, 2 P.I. said...

OK, so I’m kind of regretting writing that now. I was already pissed that day, and then I saw the Planet Fitness commercial and that set me off. I simply wanted to educate that not everyone that goes to the gym looks and acts like the douche we mock here. Thanks for chiming in Mr. Biggs. I know I’m notta douche. I have absolutely no douche characteristics, and would never want to be lumped in with that crowed just because I “pick things up and put them down” LMAO…

@Nancy: I hear ya!

@Deltus: I am as gentle as a kitten bud. I’ve heard I’m intimidating and that people are scared of me. I guess because of the way I look, but ask my daughter how mean I am when I’m wearing a tiara having a tea party with her and all her stuffed animals. I would never physically hurt a fly.

Being in a better mood today I leave you all with two links I and I hope you find as much humor in them as I do.

Cheers Friends!

http://www.elitefts.com/documents/sick_of_your_gym_4.htm

12:56 pm February, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

And in regards to the Zyzz pic, I hope those aren’t your only pair of shorts son. I’m hoping you’re like Ronald McDonald and when you open up your closest its like forty pairs of tiny red shorts for you to choose from.
.
Please come at us brahs, I’m so bored and another jell/mirrin fight would be a nice distraction. I mean, if you guys can break away from jizzing on your leader Zyzz. Can one of you jellyheads send me an itinerary of your day? If fucking an actual real live woman isn’t on there, I can finally start sending some dudes your way. I have a lot of male friends who would appreciate a little loving from down under. Thanks in advance Zyzz and friends.

12:59 pm February, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Deltus
.
“(arms, legs, ribs, and eye sockets break just as easily on them as on anyone)” Well said sir, well said!!!.
.
Joint manipulation techniques are a beautiful thing, when utilized in a defensive manner of course. Anyone skilled in the arts who proactively initiate harm on some one are A-Holes!!!
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@ Pumping Ira
Lifting weights does not equal autodouche. People lift weights for various reasons, to stay in shape, to add muscle for a respective sporting endeavor, etc; It’s the bragging about it, showing off in public places and using terms like “getting swole” that imho equates to douchery.

1:21 pm February, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I have a six grade diploma from grade school. Armed with that I can win any spelling bee for 10 year olds and inflict harm with tacks and papercuts.
.
.
.
Guy has to get a notta, he knows words. The Rev. is currently getting strong and fit for two reasons: Mrs. Kroeger stays thin and jumps my dirty cocck. And my youngest daughter is 42 years younger than me so I will be sixty when she is in the middle of her dating years. Not getting big though.
.
.
.
My workout routine is very complex. Eat anything you want early in the day. Drink lots of water. No booze or drugs until 10 am. All weights have to be done in 10 minutes a day before 10 am. Limit on days to one a week. Son.

1:21 pm February, 2 mr.reeve said...

Et Tu Douche, I prefer getting my swole on in my pants. “Get some” viagra

1:28 pm February, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I also could maim or kill most anyone. I have 13 different guns. Well, OK, the .22’s will just piss you off but the rest will do the job (the other 11). I prefer efficiency when it comes to killing and maiming. That and I’m just fuccen lazy. Bullets don’t care who or what you are. And shooting is fun!

1:43 pm February, 2 Stephanie said...

Peacockery is the key word here.

1:46 pm February, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

Working out is not autodouche. Being a vain, arrogant asshole is autodouche. And I know plenty of paunchy, balding gamers who are vain, arrogant assholes. Acting like you’re superior to other dudes because you have bigger biceps, autodouche.
.
I definitely do not mock bodybuilding and working out. I’m off (way WAY off) from what I used to do, but it was not uncommon for me at one time to spend two hours a day working out. My record leg press was 425 pounds. I was 115 pounds when I did that. But I love me some well-muscled man as much as I love me some skinny nerd (although I lean more towards skinny nerd). It’s all in the attitude. The biggest, most arrogant prick I ever met was about 5’9″ and 140. He was a skeletal bag of douche that could be measured in megatons. He was Art douche to the 1 millionth degree and if I ever see him again I’ll run him over.
.
Henry Rollins? Notta. Lou Ferrigno? Notta. It’s how you live and what you do that makes the douche, Ira. I’m all for people taking care of their bodies. Once I put down the smokes and the beer, I found a great interest in fitness. Granted, I still put gravy on sticks of butter and deep fry them, but even in times of sloth like these, I am never over 125 lbs (I’m 5’3″). Go on, Ira, and do your thang. In fact, send me some pics of your muscular ass so I can check out your BMI. No, really, I’m a good judge of these things.

1:47 pm February, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

Oh, and fuck you, Zzyzz. You and the puffy red shorts you rode in on.

1:50 pm February, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

It’s damn cold, it’s a blizzard, and I have meatballs in the crockpot.
Meatheads are useful for shoveling snow.

1:52 pm February, 2 Rick Derris said...

“Pumping Ira” has a valid point. I have friends who are trainers and they are great guys; no obnoxious tatts, no BS preening and no douchebag attitude.

Note – I can barely bench press my weight (not 35-4 lbs) so I am certainly no bodybuilding guru.

2:11 pm February, 2 dbBen said...

A couple of useful analogies…
.
The dude who is “ripped” on education and gets his PhD (or whatever). If he spends his time telling everyone how smart he is, people start to think, “kind of a douche.” Once he starts flaunting his smarts to try and belittle those around him and pursue the hotts, “douche” (Yeah, at Harvard the undergrads were in awe of us grad students. Those noobs don’t even know what studying is. )
.
Money. Dude makes some good scratch. Once he starts telling everyone about how much money he’s making selling rat poison in the summers to the good people of Georgia. Kind of a douche. Once he starts telling the hotts that he “made more last summer than that dude made all last year” douche.
.
The veracity of the situation doesn’t have anything to do with it. It’s the context and the attitude. Taking off your shirt in public = mentioning how much $ is in the bank = name dropping your degree/institution. All underlying indicators of the Grieco virus.

2:21 pm February, 2 Wedgie said...

I made over $100 last year. In one fuccen year.
Success is so fuccen sweet.

2:23 pm February, 2 Wedgie said...

Plus I read a book by James Joyce once.

2:24 pm February, 2 Dex said...

I think the difference can best be summed up with the words “target audience”. If you work out as a hobby, to feel good about yourself, get a rush off the endorphin kick, and generally to be healthy, you are 100% in the clear. If you work out and body build for the sake of showing off, and nabbing the hotts with your physique, that is a douche qualifier. Of course, the gray area is where we get into arguments. I, for example, work out and have abs. However, I don’t consider myself a douche, because with my clothes on I look like Skwisgaar Skwigelf. I keep my shirt on in public and the ladies don’t get to see my abs until after I’ve managed to get them in my bedroom.

2:42 pm February, 2 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Big dudes aren’t douchey per se, but the ones who feel the need to take their shirts off ALL THE TIME and other such douchey things are. Sorry, I got nothing. Kind of tired.

2:55 pm February, 2 Bflak said...

I’m conflicted on this one. On one hand, getting so big that said bigness is the absolute first thing somebody notices about you seems douchey. Also, being swole, from the pics posted here, seems to be like a gateway condition that leads to stupid tats, orangeness, mandanas, Vegas pool parties, hair gel, shirtlessness, and other stuff that when combined with swoleness = autodouche to me. On the other hand, if women like muscles, wtf wouldn’t a guy want to have them. If you’ve got the discipline to work out three hours a day, you’re a better man than me.

3:41 pm February, 2 Taiwanese MILF said...

Where, oh where, was Zyzz in the yearly? The only douche that could really have given Turdstack a run for his money.

Oh, and you seem like a really nice guy, Ira. Plus 200 points from this hott for being buff AND Jewish (an unfortunately rare combo).

3:57 pm February, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Hey Steve L.! Where you at? Here’s. Your dream girmilf.

4:40 pm February, 2 Guid is Good said...

I wonder what Pumpy would have to say about this?

6:13 pm February, 2 Lil' Fartknocker said...

I’ve come to accept Jyzz’s chicken-necking exists at all…but do they have to do it at Sesame Street Live?

11:50 pm February, 2 Motorcycle Parts said...

And also because of meatheads who are opposed to hot flashes can be so smart. It takes a strong head properly control such a life free from the stain.

12:30 am February, 3 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I work out every loaf I pinch.
.
Some days I work up more of a sweat then others, but I always get in plenty of reps.
.
I don’t need steroids to keep pumped up either. I just eat 6,000 + high protein calories a day to keep my muscles bulging and ripped.
.
Sometimes I’ll rub them down with oil to make them look even more impressive. It makes women (and some guys) turn their heads and stare when I flex them in public.
.
Everyone’s impressed by how much weight I can press.

12:31 am February, 3 Jacques Doucheteau said...

In case no one caught that, I’m talking about my anus.

12:48 am February, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

If I’m in a burning building, I want the beefiest fireman on the planet kicking that door in and tossing my 250 pound ass over his shoulder like a damp dishtowel. When I gots the devil between L5 and L7, I want the Thunder Chiropractor 5000 touching my spine to my sternum. When some drunk choadload is causing undue mischief in my Museum, I want a security guard that can crush coconuts in his hands to kneel on the motherfucker’s neck.

Meatheadery with purpose is not merely not autodouche, it’s a gawdamm virtue. Vanity is not purpose. Self-aggrandizement is not purpose. La vaheena is not purpose…well, wait. Okay, scratch that. But la vaheena that feeds your vanity that fuels your pump is not purpose.

Nothing is autodouche when it’s backed by the right intentions and attitude.

Now one of you big fellas go punch a cow so we can meck sammiches.

3:31 am February, 3 Paulo T. said...

Everyone here does realise that Zyzz is a relatively intelligent individual who in the beginning sought to satirize the “douchey” lifestyle that you all so ferverently condemn.
He was a skinny, lonely, beta male just like most of you here before he hit the weights.
And when he did put on muscle he instantly became an internationally worshipped figure.

He was merely holding up a mirror to the aesthetically judgemental outlook of this world and the flaws with lifestyle that supported it.
And look what he’s done, he’s sparked endless debates on the issue and given it the discussion that it needed. Although his vision and intention may not have been completely pure, this man is a form of dark knight.
Unfortunately, it seems that Zyzz spent too long in character and became inseperably immeshed with his facade.
He got sucked into his own act.

5:53 am February, 3 Greek-God-like bodies and masculine features said...

I like all three men above. Zyzz is on the fast track to Boy’s Town with the Bros from Oh Canada. We can all meet at the Mother Load as I have mentioned before. Strong drinks and messy BJs in the back alley………sons
I <3 C & B.

7:06 am February, 3 Deltus said...

@Paulo T (3:31) – Zyzz sought to satirize the douchey lifestyle by engaging in it? That’s like me saying, “I’m going to point out the wrongness of Nazi-esque thinking by becoming a bigot skinhead and listening to whitecore music 24/7.” It just doesn’t fly. He’s not an internationally worshipped figure; I’d never heard of him before the first time he was mentioned on HCwDB.
.
And his “followers” keep talking about “beta male” as if they understand the concept. Clearly not the case. Working out and becoming large muscled doesn’t make one an alpha male, nor does the false bravado that comes with being a douchebag. It’s psychological, and very difficult to change about oneself.

8:13 am February, 3 Dr. Swole said...

Lol @ all the betas commenting on here. You surely have 12 inch pythons while I have me some 18 inches pythons without any fat.
Guess who’s fucking your girl at da club? Me, cause I look attractive unlike you skinny faggots. Zyzz is alpha like me, this site is the stereotype of the typical beta man.

8:20 am February, 3 Anonymous said...

This piece of shit site. I love how you attack people who you’ve never even met. That’s a pretty douchey thing to do.

But anywho, on to my story.

I had a dog once. I loved that dog. My girlfriend left me because I wasn’t a douche and she had nigger gunk in her vag that needed cleaned out. Moral of the story is this. Never watch a Clint Eastwood movie naked.

8:32 am February, 3 Deltus said...

A template for future use by Mirin Jelly Comeatmebro douchewanks, to more quickly create your comment.
.

8:33 am February, 3 Deltus said...

A template for future use by Mirin Jelly Comeatmebro douchewanks, to more quickly create your comment.
.
<statement indicating how amusing I find the situation>
<insult about assumed physical shortcomings of people I’ve never met, balanced with unprovable statement as to how those made-up shortcomings do not apply to me>
<unsubstantiated claim of physical and/or sexual superiority, with attempt to engage target audience’s jealousy response>
<sexual orientation slur directed at target audience in attempt to engage their anger response>
<second unprovable statement about my physical and/or sexual superiority>
<final closing statement about assumed pathetic qualities of target audience and/or how amusing I find this>
<optional: meaningless statement in form of battle-cry, ie “COME AT ME, BRO!”; “YOU MAD?”; some reference to “JELLY”; etc.>

8:41 am February, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Deltus^hahahahahahaha! Spot on.

8:43 am February, 3 iopq said...

>I love how you attack people who you’ve never even met.

well, shit
isn’t this this entire website?

8:44 am February, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Deltus, also you have activated my jealousy response. My sweaty jealousy is palpable now because of your ability to break all down into a simple formula.

8:56 am February, 3 Deltus said...

My template, applied to Zyzz disciples and their automatic, unthinking defense of their douche-king:
.
You choadmunches make me laugh because you are all of inferior intellect and your breath reeks of Zyzz’s ejaculate.
You all have short, thin penises ever when fully erect, whereas I have an erection of prodigious length and girth.
I would have sex with your beard/girlfriend and, due to the enormous size of my erection, would give her much pleasure, as I ruined her ability to feel your much smaller penis because my having sex with her would stretch out her vagina.
You are a homosexual, and a closeted one at that, as evidenced by your breath reeking of Zyzz’s ejaculate.
In addition to having an erection of disproportionate size, the volume of my ejaculate in one emission would best be described as “copious”.
In closing, you are all losers with small penises who wish their penises were are large as mine, and that makes me laugh haughtily.
COME AT ME, BRO!

9:01 am February, 3 a said...

Deltus deltus deltus.

Kicking mohawk man in the testicles is how you deal with your problems? That’s quite deuchelike.

FACE ME YOU SNIVELLING SCRAB SWAMP!

9:06 am February, 3 lol said...

ITT: Mad fat powerlifter at aesthetic gods getting all the pussay.

u mad?

yeh u mad

9:12 am February, 3 a said...

We shall meet again Deltus. I will not forget your transgressions.

9:59 am February, 3 asdfff said...

Deltus clearly got bullied in high school.
I feel sorry for you, mate.

12:54 pm February, 3 Dog said...

Mad the aesthetic crew is stylin on you? Mad you cant cut and achieve aesthetics? Yeah you mad

disregard fat, acquire aesthetics

1:12 pm February, 3 Deltus said...

Yes, your razor-like perceptions have read into my words and seen the pain underneath. No mere act of pop-psychology applied by an idiot man-child, your musings have cut through all the obfuscating minutiae I’ve thrown up, and seen that, clearly, I got bullied in high school.
.
And “a” now had me reeling in fear, as the same completely non-physical nard-kick I thoughtlessly applied to mohawk dude, has come around in the form of a non-physical threat implication that “a” will never really hope to visit on my person.
.
And now I shall ponder the error of my transgressions. To whit: were my barbs too clever to be understood by ‘tarded folk who actually seem to give a shit about Zyzz due to unresolved homoerotic fantasies? Perhaps I just should have called their mothers whores, and left it at that?

1:19 pm February, 3 P.I. said...

@lol

Only mad if I’m getting group with scum like you.
.
I have a very beautiful loving wife. We have been together for many years. Yeah I’m fat, ugly, and probably stink sometimes. Mainly after I’ve lifted weight that you and your little douche friends could only dream of lifting with your fake muscles. Keep doing those barbell cruels in the mirror though, your self esteem really needs it. “crushing pussy” isn’t my thing. The STD infested bleethes are all yours my friend. Maybe one day you can get enough “pussay” to make you feel like a real man, but I seriously doubt it.

1:35 pm February, 3 Anonymous said...

Haters will hate…

Have you ever asked why girls are with these so called “douchebags”?

1:43 pm February, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

I love it when flabby beta males like Deltus flop around on top of me. Since I am a bit pudgy I like to hear the sound of fat making contact with fat

1:45 pm February, 3 Army of DOuche-ness said...

My very attractive girlfriend just talked me into skipping gym today and to go instead tomorrow so that I could watch a funny movie and then have sex with her (the sex would happen whether gym or no gym, but who doesn’t like a movie?)…

who’s brain just melted and dribbled out their nose at THAT paradigm shift?

1:47 pm February, 3 Anonymous said...

lolol wtf is this website.. full of homos bitching about boys that had the time to make themselves appealing to the opposite sex?
when you see a bitch show some skin youll get hard because thats what attracts males, same goes for women.
take down this moronic site grow some nuts and step into the real world.
by the way the 3 blokes in the photo are all mates thats why
‘dead-muskrat-on-head’ is in it

1:51 pm February, 3 Army of DOuche-ness said...

also, she’s picking me up at my office to make it convenient for me since she knows she’s asking for a favour….and when she drops me off at my car this evening around 10 it’s quite likely that we will have the post movie P&V on couch in my office or on my office’s billiards table cuz I’m into Mad Men like that

3:08 pm February, 3 Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA saw this from zyzz page. When you think some people cant be any more dropkick. Get over your selves, girls like muscled good looking guys not fat ugly loosers who cant get anything close to what these guys get. Question is do you think they care what you think ? U mad… yeh u mad!

3:09 pm February, 3 stegadouche said...

On the ‘freaking huge’ thing – i think a guy can be completely into getting monstrous, be taking tons of protein or even steroids, it doesn’t make them a douche. Just like you go get your hair cut to try and look however you want to look, some people see an intrinsic value in being big because that’s how they want to look. until you cut your hair yourself, wear shitty clothes from salvation army until they fall apart, and pick your nose, ass, and crouch in public, you’re no different than people who place a high value on getting huge.

there’s a fine line between mocking douchey qualities and simply tossing in other common qualities in douches that you don’t see value in.

3:59 pm February, 3 Deltus said...

Army of Douche-ness, a sharp, snappy salute across cyberspace to you, my man. Just one favor? While schtupping her, make her call you Deltus, at least just once. Thanks, man.

4:16 pm February, 3 Mr. Biggs said...

I’m not here to talk about Zzyzyx. He is choad and beneath contempt. I’m here, as I’m sure so many others are, to yell WTF!!! at all the women who get sucked into that. Because not only do we then deal with unrequited lust, we have to deal with their ass-end and their sloppy seconds. All because they fell for the act.

6:54 pm February, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@troll me 1:43p Wow. Just wow. Now I can only speak for myself and not you, but the sound of fat hitting fat doesn’t really do it for me. @Deltus, I am sorry troll me has included you in one of he or she’s fantasies. I’m sure you’re a great guy and I value our on-line reparte but I have never thought about you in that way.
God dammit troll me, you’re like a roided up mentally challenged hyena on a sugar rush. Please get help.

9:21 pm February, 3 Sir David Douchenborough said...

My, my, my, I come back from prepping new research protocols, and I see the trolls have come back after ordering da ‘swole stack’ online from some vaguely reputable distributor no doubt. I am sure, given their adroit skill at scientific literacy that they can discern all that ‘broscience’ that was also serendipitously done ‘in house.’ What do M.D.’s and PhD’s know about such complex subject matter? Google can facilely cut through all that overloaded and needless verbiage. As a very good powerlifter once told me in my travels, “A number of performance products for which people pay foolishly a high premium tend to be more of an idiot tax than anything.” A thinking man’s weightlifter, P.I. for example, would undoubtedly have the critical and cognitive faculties to evaluate adequately the over-saturated sea of performance and nutrition for the simple reason that functionality as opposed to poorly veiled vanity most likely is the primary motivator. As for our wonderful trolls who have once again returned with the originality commensurate with the likes of Denis Leary, I most certainly cannot say the same thing. Since Deltus has well encapsulated the gaggle of oligophrenics, there is really nothing more to say on that that note.
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Indeed, P.I., it can be worrisome as there may exist a conflation between douchebags and meatheads, but like other characteristics that span the taxonomy (scrotonomy or douchonomy?) of the douchebag world, these characteristics in isolation are not indicative of douchebaggery in and of itself. Context and environment are principal determinants when evaluating whether or not one has crossed the douche divide. For instance, rockerbags and hipsterbags both exhibit traits that alone are not scurrilous: A musical talent or a keen interest in alternative modes of philosophy. Nonetheless, mixed with their comical narcissism and inexorable sense of self-certitude, they descend into such deep, pitiful depths that one can only describe the douchebaggary as dickensian (dickensian douchebaggery?).
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Similarly, there is a world’s difference between a serious yet civil weightlifter as they tend to be of confident stature but of humble spirit and wankers who absolutely need to pose in the mirror every time they finish their bicep curls on the power rack, turning a normal 5-10 minute session into 40 minutes. Quite simply, the neediness for attention is sublimated via becoming mannequins. This results in a Tantalus-like drive to incessantly focus on visual aesthetics catalyzed by the increasing degree of vanity. The question and purpose of what they are doing is never thought of beyond their own frame of reference. With focusing solely on ‘banging bitches and drinking,’ the results tend to be a one-dimensional and rather illiberal character. Most mature people engage in wide variety of exercises because they are concerned how their health may affect their ability to provide for their loved one or family or their ability to do their job. The variation is simply due to different needs and conditions. Marathon runners or triathletes in their middle ages are not overtly concerned whether or not they are “skinny fags” when they can run circles around some of these douchebags and play with their child in sports without a heart attack. In like manner, weightlifting means you can actually help a friend move or transport a potted plant across the room without getting winded. Heck, even the young upstart, Nate Green, despite his appealing to instincts amenable to the douchebag (who names a book titled “Built For Show?”) tends to have a level headed view (though my cursory readings suggest he can get preachy at times).
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So yes, I can understand your frustration as you are probably surrounded by them, but rest assured, I have faith in the fellow baghunters that they are wise enough not to shoot recklessly from the hip. If anything, this may have prompted a sharpening of focus and clarity.

7:24 am February, 4 Zyzz said...

I enjoy topping off the night with a shot of male ejaculate, followed by a pint of warm horse urine for a chaser. I like to call it a Spërmabomb.

8:17 am February, 4 Deltus said...

The male ejaculate has to be fresh, does it, Zyzz?

10:53 am February, 4 Zyzz said...

Deltus, it does. Other wise it tends to coagulate too easily and is not as smooth going down. Fresh ejaculate is simply to die for. Which is why I like to milk my mates at the end of night so I can get all Jelly with them.

1:12 pm February, 4 P.I. said...

http://articles.elitefts.com/articles/training-articles/how-to-get-along-with-people-in-the-gym/
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So we can all get along. Douchebags especially pay attention to #7.

7:34 pm February, 4 Sir David Douchenborough said...

@P.I.

I cannot tell you how number 9 is so apt. Many times I wonder if I am a room full of deer who have just seen headlights.

9:05 pm February, 4 Sir David Douchenborough said...

P.S. P.I.

I also found a video from that same Iron Sport youtube channel for your entertainment. It articulates the overall point here even more.

9:57 pm February, 5 crip said...

zyzzz. mirin big time. all u haters mad?

11:31 am February, 6 Anonymous said...

Unreal how many insecure beta males are out there. I look similar to Zyzz, lift in tank tops and dance like a champ when I go out. NOT ONCE has anyone ever had enough balls to say a single word to me or even give me a dirty look. WHY? Cause all you losers can do is sit behind your computer and act tough. In real life you are a insecure and pathetic. You are just mad he is living his life the way he really wants to and you can not because you are to scared to be who you really are. And far too lazy to try to make yourself look good, which is absolutely unacceptable to me. Live up to your potential, knocking someone else to doing so doesnt do anything but make you look worse. And to anyone saying that they didnt know of him until they saw this……..you know who is now so STFU!

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