Thursday, February 10, 2011

Ask DB1: Meta Ur Reflexive Irony ‘Bags?

—–
DB1,

In the future, will we ever see a douchebag with a tattoo that says “douchebag”?

Or is the Grieco virus immune to post-modern irony?

Yours in opposition to the Taint,
Dan

—–

Good question, Dan. We’ve often talked about performative strategem in service of hott seduction under different rubrics yet still following the same underlying principle.

Think of a kumquat. Would a kumquat be less funny if it was called a pear?

Yes. But it’s still a fruit.

The same goes for douchebag meta-irony.

As we’re seeing more and more of, and as I’ve noted before, in our post Jersey Shore era, the douche has taken on an attempt at winking irony and humorous play to still have free reign to douche it up with impunity.

However, the ‘baguousness is still, underneath, just as toxic as when it was the humor-free seriousness of the “Pickup Artist” era (2005-2008) and the “Douchepocalypse Era” (2008-2009). So long as the mock remains potent, we must try, or the hotts will continue to be lost, even in our Jersey Shore “Metabag” era (2009-present).

# posted by douchebag1
1:46 pm February, 10 jonezy said...

Or maybe a tatt that reads “I trust all Bitches”

1:47 pm February, 10 Anthony LaBaglia said...

What a fucking turd.

1:52 pm February, 10 Douchble Helix said...

The aqua bodonkadonk is the only thing of value in that picture.

1:54 pm February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This is generic doucheplay.
.

@Vin
Nice video. Kind of like the old days fights. But the Habs win more often with goals. Fucking Don Cherry.

2:09 pm February, 10 Southern Scrotic said...

Would Ass Kumquat be just as comely as Ass Pear?
.
I think not.

2:09 pm February, 10 Vin Douchal said...

I’m anxiously awaiting the “Douche Black Death Plague Era”

2:19 pm February, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Ghostbar. Where every night somebody kills their future in such a grotesque and horrid fashion that the ambiance of the dance floor is forever scarred. Where you can catch fleeting glimpses of what look like dignity and self respect just out of the corner of your eye. Where pear-anormal activity is frequent and parabnormal reveals cause the faint of heart to go screaming into the mens room. Where the functionally dead rise from their basement bedrooms and shamble about in a futile quest to quench their hellish thirst for Goose and Bud Lite Lime.
.
Ghostbar. I see Dude people.

2:50 pm February, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The chick on the left doesn’t seem to think this picture is a good idea. Forced smile, unsure eyes, and the almost-but-not-quite bend over make it look like either (1) she’s trying to surreptitiously dump a watery, smelly load, (2) she sees a non-douche and would like to go and talk to him but her haglacious friends told her they wouldn’t give her a ride home if she left, or (3) a horse is peeing in her butt. I’m hoping it’s #3 because horses have been oppressed to long on this site!

2:58 pm February, 10 Wedgie said...

That guy thinks irony is in his daily multivitamin.
He also thinks ghostbar is really cool, and that all three of those “chicks” have vaginas.

3:01 pm February, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Vin Douchal
.
I tried saying “Douche Black Death Plague Era” three times in a row and my tonsils inverted.

3:25 pm February, 10 dbBen said...

I guarantee some hipsterbag gets a “douchebag” tattoo in 2011. Whilst said hipsterbag is getting that tattoo, I will whisper into his hott’s ear scandalous tales of suburban debauchery. For suburban will be the new urban. “My house has a white fence, seriously, a white friggin fence.”
.
“That is hilarious, let’s watch some football,” she’ll coo.

5:38 pm February, 10 Vin Douchal said...

This dude looks like Moe and Larry Stooge should be breaking rocks with a sledgehammer over his head in the prison yard

8:37 pm February, 10 Troy Tempest said...

So, has EVERYONE had their dose of LSD? Good. Now watch this:

11:31 pm February, 10 Mr. Biggs said...

Troy, how did you know?

1:44 am February, 11 tall guy said...

I haven’t been as regular in my posting as I’d like to. Work has kept me busy. Nor have I forgotten about my forthcoming USA (!) trip. It isn’t far off now and I will keep you posted – not that I expect you care all that much, but I’m excited about it and joy shared and all that…

Anyway, I’ve still read your comments regularly and laughed along with all of you at the rapidly growing stain that is douche. And, I can only echo DB1’s precise praise of Dan’s question. Hmm, ‘an attempt at winking irony and humorous play’ , while I’m not so naive to believe that it couldn’t happen, I think if/when it does happen, the douche will take full credit for the humorous irony thus elevating his status to impressionable boobied hotts even more. ‘Bag hunting: it’s not for the feint of heart.

2:33 am February, 11 Scroteophobic said...

The one thing that will save Baghunters generally from being mixed in with these newly minted ironobags is the very thing that keeps me reading this forum. Anyone can say that they are mocking the bag. It is easy. But the devil is in the detail. If all they can manage is “He’s fkin gay, fkin hatter gay fkkin fag fkkin fker GROOOOO” then it should take all of twenty seconds for the realisation to sink in that he is on a bandwagon. He doesn’t get irony. Hell, slapstick leaves him puzzled sometimes. Funny to him is rather random. A few neurons fire at about the right time and a spark of a sense of humour flares, gutters and dies.

The best baghunters are unintelligible. at times. Surreal, strange, sick and associative. They flip from jokes about his hair to discussion of midgets motorboating turtle eggs. Yes I am thinking of you, Darksock. But they are funny and inventive in a way that a bag will never be, no matter how many ironic tattoos he gets or how many syllables he learns to string together to explain how edgy and smart he is. Because he isn’t. And never will be. A baghunter.

5:49 am February, 11 Italodouche said...

But I stared deep into the abyss that is this d-bag’s eyes.
And there was nothing there

5:51 am February, 11 Italodouche said...

Nice to see Ru-Paul back in action though(2nd from left)

7:14 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

Guido duckfaces,
sorority sisters smile
blankly…..Jerz bars.

7:45 am February, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

If it happens, it’ll be a hipsterbag, cause they’re all about the irony.

11:13 am February, 11 Mr. Biggs said...

I see a textbook case of my bicep-to-head ratio douchebag rule of thumb.

11:13 am February, 11 Mr. Biggs said...

His cheeks look stuffed with roid pills. Or maybe it’s the new roid patch.

2:15 am February, 12 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

The uses of a bottle-bag are many, yet few:
hot-water bottle
ice-pack
enema-bag
douche-bag
Yet we need no labels to know that all four of these apps are possible with such a bag.
Yea, the same goeth for the douchebag himself. He needs no ironic tatt to label his obvious doucheosity, but redundancy such as that would be incontestable proof of his douchebag status….
As if that is even needed when staring at such a fwap….

2:05 am February, 14 Motorcycle Parts said...

If the dead rise to functionally basement bedrooms and lounge in a vain attempt to quench their thirst hell Goose and Bud Lite Lime.

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