Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Ask DB1: Why Do We Pay Taxes?


——
DB1,

I look at this photo and wonder: Why did I go to school?

Why did I get a job and become a contributing member of society?

Why do I pay taxes and try each day to be a better person? What was the point…?

Was it for naught?

Please, DB1 and viewers, tell me where this couple will be in ten years. I really need the reassurance today. Thank you and keep mocking the good mock.

— Old Man Grumpus

—–

10 years from today? Fry cooks at Venus.

# posted by douchebag1
11:29 am February, 22 Wedgie said...

You pay taxes because you haven’t yet discovered the wonders of the S Corporation.
Live and learn, young grasshopper.

11:35 am February, 22 Hermit said...

I may be the only one experiencing this but I’ve noticed that commenter’s with avatars are posted immediately. However, non-avatar commenter’s posts are delayed anywhere from five minutes to six hours. So, if I repeat something that’s been said already, forgive me.
.
.
Not to say that I’m above plagiarism or stealing in general, but I’m just saying.

11:37 am February, 22 skrag2112 said...

Her?…sucking dick for crack money.

Him?…sucking dick for crack money.

11:40 am February, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Barbara Eden has been brought back to life as a Bleethy zombie.
.
This is especially heinous since she wasn’t dead yet.

11:42 am February, 22 Hermit said...

As far as Barbara Eden Hott, with any luck she’ll be tied up in my crawl space for the next ten years.

11:43 am February, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

BTW, what is with the epidemic of pics from this “Party Animal F* I’m Famous” event. More importantly, why didn’t we nuke it from orbit. You know. Just be certain.

11:52 am February, 22 Fatness said...

They already *are* fry cooks at Venus. In ten years they’ll be fertilizer in some Indiana cornfield, having not paid their respective bookies and “agents”.

11:53 am February, 22 DarkSock said...

In 10 years this couple will be in Chapter 13.

11:53 am February, 22 DarkSock said...

For the third time. Son.

11:56 am February, 22 Wheezer said...

As others have already noted, she is the second coming of Barbara Eden.
.
And by second coming, I mean I’m furiously “rubbing my Lämp”…..so she may like to be warned that “Master will be ‘home’ soon.”

11:58 am February, 22 Fatness said...

She always did have a very comfortable inner chamber…

12:03 pm February, 22 Deltus said...

In 10 years, he’ll be dead from the herp. Already got a nasty looking scab on his face.
.
She’ll be either working a truck stop diner or sucking cock for smokes. Which may turn out to be the same thing.

12:03 pm February, 22 Crucial Head said...

Chief Chingashcockk, last of the Scrotehegans, carefully applied his war paint before eating the heart of the gay mare that knelt before him.

12:09 pm February, 22 Foxy Mocksy said...

We pay taxes because its the right thing to do. And by right thing to do I mean boring thing to do. But I do it anyway, because the last thing I need is Johnny law messin about my bidness.
.
As for the societal ass monkeys pictured, they will get theirs in the end. It will happen at the precise age of 35. The party will come to a screeching halt and reality will be staring them down, demanding it’s toll for a life wasted on frivolity and face paint. Being a fry cook would be a step up for these valueless souless humorless humanoids. Because at least a fry cook is providing a service to humanity. Hell, I’d fuck a fry cook as long as he showered first over Starhawk here. But that’s just me, that’s just how I see the world.
.
Old Man Grumpus, you can do better than Barbara Eden hott anyways. I hear she has never once torn it up in the sack angry badger-style.

12:14 pm February, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Wedgie

Taxes, we don’t need no stinking taxes. I incorporated my dog and kids.

12:21 pm February, 22 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Unfortunately, they will probably procreate, marry, divorce (possibly in varying order) and their offspring will be raised as the shallow, self-absorbed materialistic waste that these two are. But on the positive, there will be pics for HCWDB 2031.

12:38 pm February, 22 jonezy said...

Shit you not, I just ate lunch 2 doors down from Venus, at Zues, which is ever so slightly better than Mr. Greek Gyros next door to that.
.
I’m just thankful I didn’t accidentally walk past and see the travesty that is Venus

1:07 pm February, 22 Vin Douchal said...

Back in the day giving the finger to someone meant, “I am expecting a punch to be thrown” and the brawl began.
.
Now it is a sign for lower life forms to signify that they think they are cool. They aren’t, cool that is. Trying hard to look cool is instant un-cool. This guy looks like he’s never been threatened with humbling physical harm, therefore he tosses out the finger knowing that he’s not going to be challenged.
.
I don’t advocate violence in any form but understand the manners inducing power of intimidation. As in when to stand up and take it or mind yourself and behave. Yes sir, Mr Tyson….. I would like to see this guy sucker punched by a frustrated photographer tired of this inane pose/postering
.
.

As a matter of fact the only human that ever flipped the bird pre-2001 and received no repurcussion was the Man In Black himself, because he embodied the very essence of cool…… without trying.
.
img src=”http://www.penmachine.com/images/cashfinger-big.jpg”>

1:08 pm February, 22 Vin Douchal said...

That would be :

1:08 pm February, 22 Vin Douchal said...

FUCK! Go here

1:12 pm February, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

^^ @vin, I thought you were talking about Darth Vader.
.
I personally beat down Johnny Cash for this little faux pas. QED. QEF. IMDB.

1:43 pm February, 22 Foxy Mocksy said...

@Mc Crudeshoes, Darth Vader? I thought he was talking about Will Smith. But then he said it was someone who looked cool WITHOUT trying, so I was like, scratch that, it has to be Darth Vader then.

1:51 pm February, 22 Deltus said...

@Vin: you touch upon one of the reasons that douchedom has spread so far and wide. Lack of painful repercussions. If you never get your ass handed to you for being a complete choadstain, you have no reason to learn to censor your behavior.

2:30 pm February, 22 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

Girls like this only stick with guys like that until daddy cuts them off. Then, when she’s gotta depend on HIM to provide for her, she’s gone. As long as daddy still pays her cell phone, she’ll stick with this pudd. Just the way of the world.

3:15 pm February, 22 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I look at that photo and think, “Yeah, serial killing would be nice.”

4:26 pm February, 22 Anonymous said...

This is StarHawk!

5:06 pm February, 22 Foxy Mocksy said...

Welcome to the party Anonymous. You’ve successfully pulled your head out of your ass. Whats next?

5:08 pm February, 22 wonderdouche twin said...

And what representation is a tattoo of a key on your shoulder?
.
The key to her heart is available from the back?
.
nuff said!

6:38 pm February, 22 Steve L. said...

i’ve never tried to be a better person.
i just strive to be as hateful as i can be.






sorry.

4:08 am February, 23 Motorcycle Parts said...

She ll be either working a lorry stop diner or sucking cock for smokes. Which may turn out to be the same thing.

7:05 am February, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

In 10 years? she’ll gain 150 lbs and wonder why he is such a douchebag and not a better father to their two kids, or the other 3 kids he’s fathered with other skanks. And by then, he’ll be suffering mental issues because of the effects of untreated syphillis.

8:19 am February, 23 Mr. Biggs said...

LOL try to be good? Who are you kidding? Gone are the days of Lincoln, Patton and Einstein. In are the days of Paris Hilton and The Situation. Render unto Caesar that which is Caesars, and when you’re done with that, grab a beer and a lawn chair an mock the parade of insanity, and toast our impending collapse.

5:39 pm February, 23 steroids scare me said...

…rubs furiously whilst picturing Foxy Mocksey going “Angry Badger” on me all over my swank uptown loft, by which I mean the basement of my grandam’s house.

5:41 pm February, 23 steroids scare me said...

Make that my “grandma’s” house, typing one handed has it’s drawbacks.

12:26 pm February, 24 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Starhawk, DO A BARREL ROLL! (into a used condom receptacle).

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