Monday, February 28, 2011

Champagne Katie Can’t Wait to Prosecute Against This Site


HCwDB of the Week hott winner Champagne Katie responds to HCwDB in the comments threads:

—–
I can’t wait to prosecute against this site! By the way my name is janira who ever put this up better be making money. I did not give permision for my picture to be put up on this dumb ass shit people get a life seriously this is what I call people and dumb asses with no life.
—–

Not only did I put up this site, but I recently discovered commas.

# posted by douchebag1
11:33 am February, 28 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Dear Janira,

You are a dumb cunt.

Sincerely,
MC 900 Foot Douchebag

11:41 am February, 28 Luis Douchuel said...

Oh dear.

11:42 am February, 28 creature said...

probably didn’t work out for with Redtube either

11:43 am February, 28 Pugsly said...

let the prosecuting begin……

…wait, maybe she meant prostituting?

11:44 am February, 28 creature said...

insert “her”, many a douche have already

11:45 am February, 28 Mr. White said...

This ruins my theory (from the original thread) that Champagne Katie is actually a Real Doll. Real Dolls are more coherent than this.

11:45 am February, 28 Shocker Khan said...

My Dearest Janira,

Sucketh upon a fucceth. You are what I call a skeezoid with zero class.

With the uptmost contempt,
Shocker Khan

P.S. I told everyone when your picture was first put up that you were whiney (Champcomplain Katie anyone?). I nailed it!

11:51 am February, 28 Luis Douchuel said...

It seems Champagne Katie helpfully provided her full name in the original thread. How sweet and naive. Google away, friends.

11:53 am February, 28 Anonydouche said...

Ah darn. I had completely spent my entire weekend creating a persona for her. I’ll admit I developed a bit of a crush. I printed out her picture, cut the mouth out, and then recorded her and myself having a witty conversation. I then used Protools to give “her” voice more feminine sounds and then with afterefects, greenscreened us into a lovely intimate dinner venue. When I exported the video of our date, she seemed clever, verbose. And then she had to f*ck it all up with this?! THAT BITCH! SHE CAN’T EVEN WRITE IN COMPLETE SENTENCES HOW DARE SHE

11:59 am February, 28 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Gene Rayburn: Dumb Janira is so dumb!

Audience: How dumb is she?

Gene: She’s so dumb, when someone told her the prosecution was going to rest, she brought along her [BLANK].

12:14 pm February, 28 Fatness said...

From her Facebook page, Activities and Interests: “Beverly Hill Plastic Surgery Group.”
.
From her Model Mayhem page: “i have really good people skills.”
.
From my stomach: Burp.

12:25 pm February, 28 Sir Boo said...

When I saw the picture first posted, I actually thought she had a little class. Boy was I wrong.

12:29 pm February, 28 Captain Garanichode said...

14 douchebag’s and some DD-Cups!

12:31 pm February, 28 Guns-N-Douches said...

While reheating last nights pizza for lunch, I checked in with HCWDB to see what the current mock target was. Huh, it’s another dumb tramp who can’t write worth a shit. Also, I don’t think you would “prosecute against this site” as that would indicate that you are a lawyer… but your writing sample is proof that you aren’t. Or that you are a really shitty lawyer.

This is some fucking good pizza.

12:31 pm February, 28 DarkSock said...

Did she just call me dumb? She better be makin some money.

12:32 pm February, 28 creature said...

btw, a gaggle of douchey men in photo…one does more benchpress than others

12:35 pm February, 28 creature said...

I think what she really meant was, “I can’t wait to punctuate on this site”

12:37 pm February, 28 creature said...

it wouldn’t be the first time ‘someone’ made money off her ass

12:37 pm February, 28 Douche bagger-ette said...

Sweetie don’t flatter yourself, you’re the type of girl that pudwacks like the orage-stain in the pic with you pay for by the hour!

12:38 pm February, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ CND 11:59am
.
WIN

12:39 pm February, 28 Anthony LaBaglia said...

She is dumber than Charlie Sheen’s girlfriend.

12:42 pm February, 28 Crottenham said...

Memo to Janira….before you write the next little threat regarding filing a lawsuit, you might want to google on previous attempts to do same……enjoy!

Btw, are they real? Just askin….

12:43 pm February, 28 Shocker Khan said...

And aggggh its that douche twat with the sculpted beard in full Lakers gear no less! Gawd I hate basketball!

12:43 pm February, 28 Kennedy Smith said...

You’re sooo right Anonadouche. I had high hopes for Champagne Katie as an early favorite for Hott of the Year. Little dissolving CGI butterflies trail in her wake.

Please come back, Champagne Katie! It was an awesome pic, so not sure why you’d want to censor it. It made me want to build a Qaddafi bedouin tent for your ten tiny toes and sing the score of Rosenkavalier to each one.

Also, to vote for you.

12:44 pm February, 28 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

Dear Janira,
.
Good punctuation can (and often will indeed) fool people into thinking you are educated. Bad punctuation will always betray your lack thereof.
.
Sincerely,
.
Taint

12:45 pm February, 28 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

What about the guy who said:
“Who ever runs this site is fucking pathetic. Your probably a nerd that never got any pussy in HS so you take joy on poking fun at good looking people over some HS trama. Your the real douchbag, asshole”

I hate HS trauma…Herpified Scrote is no laughing matter.

12:48 pm February, 28 Collaz B. Popped said...

The pic is a celebration of all things Douche and Bleeth.

12:49 pm February, 28 BagA said...

Brothabag Leon makes an appearance.

12:51 pm February, 28 BagA said...

And Smoot, top row, just left of the tree.

Double ‘bag sighting!

12:53 pm February, 28 Mr. Biggs said...

See DB1, if you’d gone with my weekly suggestion you wouldn’t be getting prosecuted. But on the plus side, maybe you’ll see her in court and confirm that she doesn’t constantly pose like this.

12:54 pm February, 28 Wedgie said...

Here you go, guys:
Janira Gaxiola Kremets
Model Mayhem Las Vegas
I know none of you can fuccen believe that a Phi Beta Kappa key holder could possibly be a Vegas party slut, but there it is.
BTW, her profile says she has really good people skills. Hey, at least she spelled “skills” without a “z”.

1:03 pm February, 28 Anonymous said...

Check out her older sister. Scroll all the way down, but slowly. There’s a lot to see there.

http://earthbeauties.wordpress.com/2009/03/

1:04 pm February, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Darn it , Janira, didn’t anyone in elementary, junior high, or high school tell you about run-on sentences?
Now, go curl some commas. Period! They’ll complement your hairdo.

1:12 pm February, 28 Wedgie said...

No wonder she’s pissed; here big sis is Miss Cuba 2009 and fuccen hot, and she’s stuck modeling in L.V. for $15 and hour.
Probably should think about spending some of it on writing & punctuation lessons.
PS…Her bio says she’s “half Cuban, Lebanese & Mexican”. I never was any good at math, either.

1:16 pm February, 28 Deltus said...

Janira, sweetie? Whomever took the picture owns the copyright, not whomever happens to be portrayed in the picture. If you can show you’re the one who either took the picture, or commissioned for it to be taken, I’m afraid you’re going to go nowhere.
.
Oh, and you don’t prosecute people. You sue them. Big difference.
.
BTW, I still love you, in a “I have conflicted feelings about Selena Gomez when I look at you” kind of way.

1:19 pm February, 28 Ron Artest said...

LOL…….D-Bagette

1:21 pm February, 28 Wedgie said...

Aren’t we still waiting to hear from Brooke Banner’s attorney? Maybe they could join forces. And by join forces, I mean hot lesbian sex on you tube.
Thank you very little.

1:23 pm February, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

If she does prosecute against this site here’s hoping she doesn’t cam with a left handed Jew lawyer.
.
I dorked a white girrl.
.
Son!!!!

1:26 pm February, 28 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Imagine how upset she’d be if she lost…. But I think she’s still cute as a button despite the incoherent tantrum.

1:33 pm February, 28 dbBen said...

I don’t have a firm grasp on reality. Perhaps that’s why I believe this message to be a hoax. The young lady pictured would have laughed and been charmed in a “crass sort of way.” Then immediately she would have called Billy to let him know that she possessed irrefutable evidence that mixing chains, hair gel, a rosary, a hint of make-up, and a transparent-man-nip-slip-shirt does in fact immediately place one in the ranks of douchebag, as per her warning.
.
Then we all would have laughed and sighed and returned to our fulfilling lives as servers and hostesses at T&T in the Luxor
.
Some lawyer is hopefully going to get a few dollars out of this…probably all in ones. “New on the scene” in Las Vegas…rofls.

1:36 pm February, 28 Kennedy Smith said...

We have to remember, guys, that she was probably drunk when she fired that off, and is feelin regrets like that girl at the end of True Grit. Aren’t we all?

1:38 pm February, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Charlie Sheen this morning and these while almost through withdrawal means Rev. Kroeger is relapsing again and going to see Dr. Happy in the morrow. These hallucinations are too much. I will not remember this day after being awake for 129 hours and counting. Hello Clonazepam. Welcome back Lunesta. Mr. Chronic, I know you’re hiding, Oh. There you are my naughty little buds. Did anyone see my butterfly?

1:41 pm February, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^And my Percodans. Son.

1:46 pm February, 28 Wedgie said...

We need to do an intervention for the Rev Chad K. Who I believe may actually be Charlie Sheen’s pen name.

1:54 pm February, 28 Vin Douchal said...

@ Janira
.
mmmmmmm prosciutto

2:15 pm February, 28 Stephanie said...

What??? Katie/Janiro thinks she might get a movie deal and then be all embarrassed by this photo? Like,sure…rant on,you little nothing.

2:29 pm February, 28 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

What does she mean I’m a dumb ass with no life? I have a great life in my mom’s basement where I play with my retarded cousin’s tits.

2:43 pm February, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Can somebody start an offshoot site called retardswhocantwrite.com or ithinkimalawyerbutimacluelessretard.com? Then we could have really cool posts with no punctuation and speeling airors and stuff like that which shows how my lawyers will get invuvlulated so that you shouldn’t be making money without my permission so if you you don’t take this down I’ll have to sue the generator of this sight for all it can be worth if you know what I mean. So in closing you’ll here from my bareister very soon fi this is not taken down you low life punk who couldn’t get any puusy becaus eur such a foggot asshole.

3:02 pm February, 28 Kennedy Smith said...

Somewhere in this pic, DB1 has secretly placed Rhino from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Can you spot him? I sure couldn’t.

3:23 pm February, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Talk about brain damaged… from her modelmayhem.com page:

im half cuban,lebanese, and mexican
.
so, what you fourth half?

3:43 pm February, 28 Wedgie said...

Hey, I resent that. I’m a dumbass with a life, by God.

4:32 pm February, 28 wolfram74 said...

Her teachers should be horse-whipped !

4:35 pm February, 28 Crazed Aborigine said...

She has “Jersey Shore” listed on her facebook as one of her faves.

Am I the only one who sees the irony?

Nothing is more disappointing than someone so incredible on the outside and so empty on the inside. Unfortunate.

5:35 pm February, 28 Kennedy Smith said...

She has Jersey Shore listed so’s she can be a gazillionaire. Still trying to wrap my head around this, people, so bear with.
Why would a model be upset by being referred to as “Perfection of female form”? Or having a couple of awesome pics posted on the intertubes? Isn’t that the kind of advertising you want?
Need to go lie down now, and dream of Katie, sweet Katie.

5:39 pm February, 28 Scooby Douche said...

Re: Dr. Bunsen @2:43:

Seriously Doctor, you gotta post a warning before you put up some really awesome shit like that. I spewed apple juice out through my nose and all over my keyboard. Now I gotta wipe down my desk and buy a replacement. Hilarious!

6:13 pm February, 28 Stackhouse said...

You know who prosecutes mad pussy? Cam, my left handed jew lawyer that’s who.
Get some punctuation whobag!

7:57 pm February, 28 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I don’t care what you gents think, she’s smokin hot and I can overlook her punctuation-challenged prose for the chance to spend hours listening to her ramble on about dumb ass shit people and prosecuting against sites and what not. Janira, call me.

9:03 pm February, 28 Steve L. said...

Janira is great at prosecuting all right. she’s already prosecuted human intelligence to smithereens.
.
i shiver in her presence.

9:05 pm February, 28 Steve L. said...

a brief perusal of her Model Mayhem profile has led me to conclude that there’s a small chance she might allow herself to be photographed according to government regulations.
.
but Janira might still be too dumb to actually get a driver’s license.

9:11 pm February, 28 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Dear janira:

Cool how you do not capitalise your own name…I love your English news channel, Al janira. It’s all we can get here in Afghanistan. Trying to stay informed so as not to be a dumb ass, you see.

10:37 pm February, 28 Kennedy Smith said...

Janira is not too dumb. She was drunk and pissed off. Ummmm, not that I’d have any reason to know that….
Nevermind.

10:42 pm February, 28 Kennedy Smith said...

And, well, texting from her iPhone furiously….

3:31 am March, 1 Motorcycle Parts said...

This ruins my theory (from the original thread) that Champagne Katie is actually a Actual Doll. Actual Dolls are more coherent than this.

4:08 am March, 1 Hermanos Rodriguez said...

If she was the winner for the week, the quality of the girls must have been really low.

4:34 am March, 1 Anonymous said...

Holy fwap, thanks for that link Anonymous.

Earth girls,,,

4:35 am March, 1 Collaz B. Popped said...

Holy fwap, thanks for that link Anonymous.

Earth girls,,,

4:57 am March, 1 London escorts said...

I printed out her picture, cut the mouth out, and then recorded her and myself having a witty conversation. I then used Protools to give at here voice more feminine sounds and then with afterefects

5:41 am March, 1 FoghornLeghorn said...

Call me a sentimentalist, but I think Katie still has wonderful breasts.

6:48 am March, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

According to her Model Mayhem blurb she’s “half cuban, lebanese, and mexican.” Which is telling because those countries are renowned for their historical achievements in math and grammar.

6:51 am March, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Psst, Janira! Psst. Your collagen is showing. Either that or one of those bros got so excited when he saw the camera he started fist pumping and elbowed you in the mouth.

6:56 am March, 1 Wheezer said...

Activities and Interests
Other
Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery Group, Nicki Minaj, Buffalo Wild Wings, Facebook for BlackBerry® smartphones, Cimarron Memorial High School, I want to get Chocolate wasted!!!, A man should treat his girl like a Queen everyday!!!, Turtle Expressions
=========================
.
Already? Was that for that (ahem) “curling iron burn on your neck” (cough) from when you were 15?
.
At least she likes turtles.

7:00 am March, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She likes Facebook? What does she like to game on? A Commadore 64? Where does she buy her lingerie? JCPenneys?

7:03 am March, 1 Wheezer said...

And the GAGgle of sheer douchosity in this particular photo is depressing and a hazard to the ozone layer: not only are Smoot and Brothabag Leon here, but BBag Leon shows that testing positive for SEXY will get him buttrammed by Kitchenbag.
.
And the Mark of the Bag is here – look closely: the heads of Smoot and some random broheim serve as the testicles, and (ironically) the palm tree is the cockk.

7:30 am March, 1 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Janira, I must say you’re a disappointment.
.
Further, if you actually want to be a model making bank, you need to remember that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Except, of course, we now know who you are and where you live.
.
A better people skill would have been to comment “cool, I have some fans”…

7:55 am March, 1 kourtnie said...

yeah nice

8:11 am March, 1 Kevin said...

hahahahahahahah omfg the guy on the left is flexing in this picture trying to be buff when infact he’s fat hahaha and his head is so tiny cOmpaired to his body hahahahahah

9:01 am March, 1 Jean Luc Scrotetard said...

Katie, Shaneekwuh, Si-Phyllis whatever your name is. The lawsuit threat never works. If you decide to look for a lawyer in the yellow pages though it’s spelled “attorney”.

Good luck with that
Say “Hi” to the greasy scrotes for me
Buh Bye

10:13 am March, 1 Mrs. Draper said...

Tsk tsk tsk. Oh, ye of scant interwebz savviness … haven’t you seen all of those scary PSAs aimed at teens wantonly posting photos of themselves in the new underwear they just ordered from Hot Topic on their MySpace pages?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOUu1fldBbI

Once your smilin’, skanky face goes up on that bulletin board, you can never tear it down, even after the geeks from 4th period Chemistry have taped it to the insides of their D&D handbooks. It becomes public domain, unless you acquire some kind of copywright protection for it, and that’s usually only available on websites like Flickr. But, you know, good luck “prosecuting” nonetheless! Oh, and I’m pretty sure Janira is actually Spanish for “a whale’s vagina”.

p.s. Having bangs so long they inhibit your ability to see is STUPID. Get a haircut.

10:22 am March, 1 Mrs. Draper said...

Awh, look at that … according to her Facebook profile, books just “aren’t for her LOL”. Really? We couldn’t tell in the least.

10:42 am March, 1 Wheezer said...

Wait wait wait…..I get what she’s doing here! She’s just trying to hype her friend Hines Ward’s “Dancing with the Stars” appearance!
.
See? I told everyone that was him in the pics!

11:09 am March, 1 Il Douche said...

From her Model Mayhem bio:

“hello my name is janira, im half cuban,lebanese, and mexican…. i do promotional work, and prints as well…. what i would like to pursue from this site would be a lot of work!!! haha…. im very energetic i love to meet people and to travel a lot!!! i have really good people skills.”

This says more about her intelligence (or lack thereof) than her original punctuation-less rant.

Interesting claim about “really good people skills”, since that usually involves being able to communicate in a respectful and coherent manner.

12:13 pm March, 1 Cheeto Fingerz said...

I heart you Mrs. Draper.

12:33 pm March, 1 Daggerbagger' said...

Yeesh, theres so much self absorbed vanity, pomp and ego in this photo I feel like skulling petrol and having a ciggie.

2:06 pm March, 1 VanillaBeans said...

Jesus, that moon-faced slut is really upset about this.
Although, I hear insanity is one of the final stages of those dying of Syphilis.

3:42 pm March, 1 wolfram74 said...

I doubt she could find Mexico , Cuba or Lebanon on a map or globe . Then again I doubt she could find her way home on any given night .

7:30 pm March, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

Hmmm. Model Mayhem page=Autobleeth. All in favor?

9:08 am March, 2 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

[Raises penis]
.
Aye!

10:56 am March, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Aye!

1:26 pm March, 2 clarifier said...

The girl in this picture is Casey Devlin

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000277271199

this is where the picture came from

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=137207956298446&set=a.152072478145327.27041.100000277271199&theater

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