Friday, February 4, 2011

Friday Haiku

New Rule: “Hawk Bites Pear”
Now in “Rock Paper Scissors,”
To sell to the kids.

“Mmagic World” ass pear
does not deserve rabies-filled
bite from gay bat hawk.

— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

Jen kept yelling “SCAT!!!”
But that’s the wrong thing to say
To horny Germans.

— DarkSock

Cali on his neck?
Please let San Andreas slip,
dump him in ocean.

— Wheezer

A word to the wise
never bite the ass that feeds
this guy craves the poop

— Medusa Oblongata

Recent parolee
Assuming the position
His bunkmate preferred

— Vin Douchal

I could use Shark’s head
As a front-door shoe scraper
For this damn winter!

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Sharkbag sees shadow,
Six weeks of unemployment,
What then, Taco Bell?

— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders

# posted by douchebag1
7:03 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

An ass bites an ass?
His general direction
is in need of fart.

7:04 am February, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cellulite thrills Shark.
Causes his skin to break out
In Aneurism.

7:08 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

Cali on his neck?
Please let San Andreas slip,
dump him in ocean.

7:09 am February, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I could use Shark’s head
As a front-door shoe scraper
For this damn winter!

7:09 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

In real Magic World,
his douchey ass would vanish,
as would her clothing.

7:09 am February, 4 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

Tony Orlano:
“Tie a yellow ribbon ’round
The old Magic Whore.”

7:11 am February, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Bikini bottom
Covers up her Magic World.
So, make him vanish!

7:12 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

The “truth”: his right wrist
and fist will cradle his cockk;
she likes employed men.

7:13 am February, 4 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

Sharkbag sees shadow,
Six weeks of unemployment,
What then, Taco Bell?

7:14 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

In the next sequence,
yellow purse gets embedded
in his fuccen skull.

7:14 am February, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

What do you get when
you cross a douche and peacock?
A pee-stained douchebag?

7:14 am February, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Recent parolee
Assuming the position
His bunkmate preferred

7:15 am February, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Part time employment
H&R Block in WalMart
Earns cash for strip club

7:17 am February, 4 Vin Douchal said...

“Bad Life Choices Man”
Comic book super villian
Defeats you with breath

7:19 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

Chicago Blackhawks
Stan Mikita, Bobby Hull
wanna ice this choad.

7:20 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

Douche vitiligo:
results in strange skin patterns;
Jacko should share bleach.

7:21 am February, 4 Vin Douchal said...

‘Hawk bends to rip fart
Bud light and Cuervo scented
Please , no open flames

7:21 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Mmagic World” ass pear
does not deserve rabies-filled
bite from gay bat hawk.

7:21 am February, 4 mr.reeve said...

Ass Pear lets Hawk know
She’s a “Magic Whore” for sale
Hawk pays in Bud Light

7:21 am February, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Hott tries to pinch urge.
But has to go pee badly.
Shark offers outlet.

7:22 am February, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Notch in back of head
Wish I had done it with a
Rusty Stilson wrench

7:25 am February, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Leave for Vegas now
Super Bowl weekend is great
Too cold for pool choads
.
Will try to check out
Friday Ass Pear and the links
With shitty cell phone

7:25 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

In about 10 years,
that will be sweet combover.
Douche, jump off Hancock.

7:25 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I prefer to play
knife, gun, police baton with
fauxhawked, brain vein choads.

7:26 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

Vin, have Super fun!
Do some ‘bag-taggin’, of course,
and enjoy booze, babes!

7:27 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Invisible man
cocck blocks this choad from ass pear.
“Magic World” escapes.

7:28 am February, 4 mr.reeve said...

Vegas is calling tomorrow, Vin
Will be a blur filled with
Beer and deep fried Twinkies

7:30 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Fauxhawk’s cell mate had
same pair of undies. Flashback
means “assume position”.

7:31 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

Diarrhea drips
off his chin; he wants seconds.
You are what you eat.

7:33 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Ass pear signals douche
using Queefonics. “Smell you
later assmunch! Bye!”

7:35 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

My observation:
New filter delays posts from
the avatar-less…..?

7:38 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“You drank four Bud Limes
last night” says douche to ass pear.
Please putter again.

7:38 am February, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Hark! Is that a Shark?
Looks more like bottom feeder.
Someone’s gotta eat poo.

(OK – 6 on end, but I gotta go with it!)

7:40 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I forgot quotes on
last line of previous post.
BRING ME COFFEE!

7:42 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Buffet aromas
waft out of ass pear. Douche knows
what will be for lunch.

7:43 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

No one expects to
be followed around by a
felching fauxhawked douche.

7:44 am February, 4 DarkSock said...

Turd dildo in ear;
Hair, in revulsion and fright,
Flees across his scalp

7:46 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Bleeth uses James Bond
tactic for escape. Poison
gas has no effect.

7:47 am February, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

She’s asking for help
Someone say the Magic Word
ABRACADOUCHEBAG!

7:48 am February, 4 DarkSock said...

“Now, Pinch-hitting for
Borbon, it’s Manny Mota…
*‘Mota…Mota…ta….*

7:49 am February, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Travis Barker weeps
lonely after band broke up
Blink One Eighty Douche

7:49 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I would give bleeth cash
if she could blast out tape worm
right into his mouth.

7:49 am February, 4 DarkSock said...

“Call off the search, guys;
I found my keys, AND my car;
Parked in Jen’s Man Cave”.

7:50 am February, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

A word to the wise
never bite the ass that feeds
this guy craves the poop

7:51 am February, 4 DarkSock said...

Tough economy
Forces Shark-Bag to work as
“The Human Bidet”

7:52 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

Her farts smell rosy,
he should be pushin’ daisies;
early spring fever?
.
(Hey, that little fuzzy bastard in Punxsutawney can’t be wrong, can he?)

7:53 am February, 4 DarkSock said...

Jen kept yelling “SCAT!!!”
But that’s the wrong thing to say
To horny Germans.

7:57 am February, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Faceless bleeth in black
Flat ass withers my boner
Hawk makes me vomit

8:00 am February, 4 Colossus of Choads said...

Lonely predator,
must strike before hairdo wilts,
or catches fire.

8:00 am February, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Male pattern baldness
Can’t come soon enough for Hawk
He’ll still be a douche

8:02 am February, 4 SuckaLemon57 said...

Hawks, Tats, and Aluminum Bottles
Not what Lloyd Banks was thinking
She makes me Hunger For More

8:06 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

These black ‘hawked scrotewanks
have shown female ass fetish
lately; still choads, though.

8:12 am February, 4 End the Haberdouchery said...

Scoliosis girl
Had no chance against zombies.
Brains with Bud Light Lime.

8:21 am February, 4 Steve said...

To be fair, if I was at a party and there’s was some slutty half naked chick running around being obnoxious, and the opportunity presented itself, I’d tell one of my buddies to pull out their phone and take a similar picture.

8:24 am February, 4 Deltus said...

Hair not worst feature
Lowest adam’s apple ever
I must throw up now

8:25 am February, 4 Deltus said...

Seriously, though, that thing on his neck is making me sick just looking at it.

8:26 am February, 4 Captain Garanichode said...

Ya know when that shark bites, on the bleeth babe
Magic cheeks start to spread…
Fancy pomade, though, wears old MacHawk, chode
So there’s nevah, nevah, the menstrual red
.
son!

8:28 am February, 4 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Hungry man’s douche mouth
Works on magic sex world
Hairy happy meal

My first HCwDB haiku! Hooray for ME!

8:30 am February, 4 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Even though it sucked

9:24 am February, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Boss takes pity on
my pathetic haiku tries.
Owe Boss a favor.

11:16 am February, 4 DarkSock said...

‘Sock finally shows up
On time for Haiku Friday;
Life is good now, Son

9:12 pm February, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

It’s a magic world
when Sparty loses his green
viewing a black ass.

9:17 pm February, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

“Shall I do a trick
or perform a trick?, that is
the magic question.”

9:19 pm February, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

In Magic World, Trick-
ster is a Faux-Hawk Crow check-
ing out the hot fox.

9:04 am February, 5 ehcuodouche said...

Frohawk sees first ass
With predictable results
Put him back in cage

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