Friday, February 11, 2011

Friday Haiku

Somewhere in Peru,
An Ancient Mayan Chief,
Misses his fish spears.

Hey, what time is it?
Let us check the sundial:
oh, it’s way past fail.

— Wheezer

Time to meet her folks,
Spikes of blond atop his head,
Purple hair, despairs.

— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders

Fair warning, children:
NEVER stick your fingers in
electric outlets.

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

He thinks he’s a Smooth
Criminal. She knows that he
cries during Oprah.

— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

Purple and spike hair
For bad 80’s cover band
Club refunds cover

— Vin Douchal

# posted by douchebag1
7:16 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

Hey, what time is it?
Let’s check the sundial:
oh, it’s way past fail.

7:17 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

Hey, what time is it?
Let us check the sundial:
oh, it’s way past fail.
.
(fixed syllabication)

7:20 am February, 11 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

Time to meet her folks,
Spikes of blond atop his head,
Purple hair, despairs.

7:20 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

White pleather, fuschia
hair, stupid spikes…..what the hell?
Random nonsense reigns.

7:23 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

It’s one Facebook page,
and I guess there’s a fan page…..
what the hell are they?

7:24 am February, 11 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Fair warning, children:
NEVER stick your fingers in
electric outlets.

7:25 am February, 11 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

Glenda tells her folks,
Guess who’s coming to dinner.
Lace food with strychnine!

7:26 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

When I hear music,
I can’t pick up the mohawk.
I’m just a hatter.

7:27 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Stegosaurus head
nuzzles uninterested
hott. Must be jacket.

7:28 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

Double-rowed brohawk
forms nice channel for poo sludge;
stays out of his ears.
.
.
.
.
.
Huh?

7:28 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Four Prong’s nephew must
not have gotten memo. Prongs
always go in front.

7:28 am February, 11 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Why’s FIFA Nation
calling on members to grow
crap out of their heads?

7:29 am February, 11 Vin Douchal said...

The MENSA meeting
In a different room next door
That’s why they’re in here

7:32 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

Band towel good for
drying off after shower
to wash off poo, grease.

7:33 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He doesn’t just Beat
It to Michael Jackson. Prongs
won’t hold themselves up.

7:34 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Billy Jean is not
his lover. She’s just a girl
with daddy issues.

7:34 am February, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Purple and spike hair
For bad 80’s cover band
Club refunds cover

7:36 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Doesn’t matter if
he’s black or white. She knows that
he is always douche.

7:37 am February, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Mom shouts out warning
“Don’t get shit on my white coat !”
As douche leaves for club

7:38 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He did not listen
to the Man in the Mirror.
Dad said he looks gay.

7:39 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

I might be happy
if she were shirtless. Hey, just
puttin’ it out there.

7:39 am February, 11 Vin Douchal said...

This is a tough one
Without getting racist or
Bashing on the gays

7:40 am February, 11 Cheesesock said...

Lamar from Revenge
of the Nerds, poses with a
“6”, who hates her dad!

7:40 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He thinks he’s a Smooth
Criminal. She knows that he
cries during Oprah.

7:40 am February, 11 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

Ulysses watch out:
Medusa and a siren
Are now conjoined twins.

7:42 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He told her that he
Won’t Stop ‘Til He Got Enough.
“That was quick” she thought.

7:43 am February, 11 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

It looks like his hair
was washed in a ‘bird bucket’
in the BP spill.

7:44 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Are italics the
new “in” way of posting here?
Tag that code Bossman!

7:45 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

I’m still roarin’ at
Doc Bunsen seven-forty!
That’s front page for sure!

7:46 am February, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Somewhere
Four Prong’s lil’ bro
macks on
dyed hottie

7:47 am February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“I want to rock with
you” whispers douche in bleeth’s ear.
Bleeth knows he lacks stones.

7:52 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

Real Christopher Lee
has flashbacks, shudders at sight
of this greast mill wheel.

7:53 am February, 11 Guns-N-Douches said...

What site am I on?
He is a douchebag for sure,
But she’s no hot chick.

7:57 am February, 11 Mr. White said...

Nice catch there, Wheezer
She plays the guitar and sings
He is the drummer
.
Her voice isn’t bad
And chicks with guitars are hott
But they’re not quite there
.
The clips I played on
their site were all just a bit
off rhythmically
.
So hey, there’s a shock
The drummer is a douchebag
And not very good

8:02 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

Thank you, Mr. White –
I like to find background stuff
when writing haiku
.
But the background here
is too dark to show much else,
‘cept Argentine squares.

8:03 am February, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Love is in the air
Put poo abounds in his hair
And she ain’t a hott

8:06 am February, 11 Deltus said...

Odd aspiration
But buddy, we know Four Prong
And you’re no Four Prong

8:08 am February, 11 Wedgie said...

Not to be outdone
Four Prong’s cousin Cleophus
Adds one to his dome

8:10 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

Boss left tag open
until we make haiku count
satisfactory.

8:12 am February, 11 Wheezer said...

I was kiddin’, Boss!
Just my way to drive up count
back to old levels.

8:14 am February, 11 Wedgie said...

His head points the way
Five angles show directions
To Total Failville

8:17 am February, 11 the douche is alright said...

This douche and Not Hott
were recently barred entry
to heaven AND hell

8:18 am February, 11 Mr. White said...

I would happily
Let her do two-hand tapping
On my pink guitar

8:19 am February, 11 the douche is alright said...

Only has one eye
Not Hott makes me want to cry
As all my hope dies

9:00 am February, 11 Mr. White said...

I’d tune up my axe
Then go down below to work
out on her Fuzz Face.
.
(Jokes only Vin will get….)

9:04 am February, 11 Mr. White said...

I’d let her work my
whammy bar until all my
strings were out of tune.
.
Wait, what?

9:42 am February, 11 Dooshspotter said...

Liberace coat.
Dinosaur sits on his head.
She cant do better.

9:46 am February, 11 Captain Garanichode said...

I see the doucheswiffer
I do not see the Hott
Bad day for a Haiku

9:49 am February, 11 Dooshspotter said...

Spiked hair douchefella,
Ultraviolet reveals his
hair spooge as purple.

3:52 pm February, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Three weeks in a row.
Boss will expect big payback.
But my knees are sore.

2:58 am February, 12 douche equis said...

Hot? You are not hot.
You are not a jot of hot.
Hot is wot you’re not.

2:05 am February, 14 Motorcycle Parts said...

Real Christopher Lee has flashbacks, shuddered at the sight
the mill wheel greast.

11:29 pm February, 14 Dallas Hardwood Flooring said...

I was thinking of introducing a new “Friday Fun” series, Haiku Friday. I’m a fan of 5/7/5 syllables start stupid poems, so why not the author some Internet and social media marketing.

2:52 am February, 20 nftric said...

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