Friday, February 25, 2011

Friday Haiku

It’s…. Billy the Pudd!!
Blocks pic of almost sapphos.
God slays a puppy.

Pee-Wee Hairless-Man,
Pubis smooth as Porsche’s bonnet,
hence the fractal shorts.

— collossus of choads

Tri Delta sisters
Do community service
With brain-dead patients

— Hong Kong Douchey

This douche wants your love
His daddy was a jerk so…
Now we have to pay.

— That one girl I met awhile back

Bandanna Barry
Wears Gi-normous Douche Goggles
Somebody smite him!

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Brokeback Mountain Jeb
has no interest in sisters;
prefers time with bros.

— Wheezer

leopard ‘kini hott
siezes my full attention
big top in my pants

— creature

CBS is proud
to announce the new star of
Two and a Half Men.

— Mr. White

# posted by douchebag1
7:07 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Hey, no, look at MEEEEE!
Yeah, I know these girls are cute,
but I’m here DOUCHIN’!

7:09 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Bottle blondes, choadwank
form toxic mix to digest;
I should resume sleep.

7:11 am February, 25 saulgoode42 said...

I will not allow
These fine ladies to be viewed
For I am a douche

7:11 am February, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Its Sucks in City!
Kim Cattrall poses while Douche
Sucks life out of scene

7:12 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Brokeback Mountain Jeb
has no interest in sisters;
prefers time with bros.

7:15 am February, 25 That one girl I met awhile back said...

This douche wants your love
His daddy was a jerk so…
Now we have to pay.

7:16 am February, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Bandanna Barry
Wears Gi-normous Douche Goggles
Somebody smite him!

7:16 am February, 25 collossus of choads said...

Pee-Wee Hairless-Man,
Pubis smooth as Porsche’s bonnet,
hence the fractal shorts.

7:17 am February, 25 saulgoode42 said...

As Tracy removes
The coke they stored in his butt
The rest keep lookout

7:17 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Tighten bandanna,
stretch his arms on torture rack;
penalties for douche.

7:18 am February, 25 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

Bandana won’t help
When the teargas goes flying.
He’s in for surprise.

7:19 am February, 25 saulgoode42 said...

Of all the patterns
In this horrid shot, the worst
Is chicks with douchebags

7:19 am February, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Douchebag caught slipping
In his own trail of grease.
Hotts giggle at fall.

7:19 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Someone give this chump
a beatdown for entering
bikini playroom.

7:23 am February, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Douche’s Chin Pube ‘V’
Matches bandana ‘V’ and
schwartz ‘V’s’. V forVermin.

(Arrrghh! 5-7-6, but gotta post!)

7:23 am February, 25 Vin Douchal said...

By day, toss with son
But at night, tosses salads
With his butt buddies

7:24 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

“Stop!” he cries. “Until
you give me a jelly dong,
you can’t look at them!”

7:24 am February, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Blonde peels back long hair
Readying for giant blast
From MegaFart Phil

7:25 am February, 25 Hong Kong Douchey said...

Tri Delta sisters
Do community service
With brain-dead patients

7:25 am February, 25 Mr. White said...

CBS is proud
to announce the new star of
Two and a Half Men.
.
.
What, too soon?

7:26 am February, 25 Vin Douchal said...

A scarf, dude, really?
Are you looking for beatdown
From gay bashing choads

7:27 am February, 25 Mr. White said...

His thesis on his
fractal shorts fails to impress
Professor Bimbos

7:28 am February, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Delicious blondies
Find Wisconsin Senator
Gone AWOL from state

7:28 am February, 25 Wedgie said...

Grandpa once told him
“Act like you’ve been there before”
Forgot the lesson

7:29 am February, 25 Wedgie said...

Grandpa also said
“Don’t act like your douchey Dad”
Junior must be deaf

7:29 am February, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Four people from here
Easily get laid tonight
And there’s one that won’t

7:31 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Vin, you may be wrong.
Just need five horny men of
the “right” persuasion.

7:32 am February, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Billy is too busy
mugging for camera to watch
Socrates and hotts. Douche!
.
.
.
.
.
(Pronounced So-crates as in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure not Sock-ra-teez as in well, correctly)

7:32 am February, 25 Douchble Helix said...

5
7
5
It’s this guy from Summer School:

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm137793024/tt0094072

7:35 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

@Douchble:
.
I prefer this pic;
I can’t quite explain why, but
may be aesthetics…..?

7:35 am February, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m guessing that this
is rat Gaddafi says spiked
water with douche luudes?

7:38 am February, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Hey there fine ladies!
Don’t I resemble Tom Cruise?
Nope, more like shih tzu

7:40 am February, 25 Douchble Helix said...

@ Wheezer:

5
7
5

No argument.

7:41 am February, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Douchble Helix up
my ass because coffee not
working yet. Chill out.

7:43 am February, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Peroxide, Herpes
Douchebag Wearing Mandanna
Recipe for Poo

7:43 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Poor man’s Steve Carell,
leaves office stress behind, still fails
as team “party guy.”

7:44 am February, 25 Claude Douchenbagger said...

I don’t see anything wrong with this guys goggles but the ladies can throw the rest of him in the dumpster
and stuff the bandanna in his frickin pie hole.

7:45 am February, 25 creature said...

it’s Pee Wee Hermann
in latest incarnation
joke is in his shorts

7:46 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

And Wheezer fails at
haiku syllabication;
eight in last mid-line.

7:46 am February, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Underboob Reveal
And Supple, Suckle Bodies
Can’t Overcome Douche

7:47 am February, 25 creature said...

leopard ‘kini hott
siezes my full attention
big top in my pants

7:49 am February, 25 creature said...

leopard side boob sez
with sizziling sultry eyes
“yes, size does matter!”

7:49 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Boss will close “i-tag”
once he rises from Ho-Ho,
PBR stupor.

7:49 am February, 25 the douche is alright said...

Hotchickswithdouchebags
wraps up it’s special “Blondes Week”
With four tasty bits

7:50 am February, 25 the douche is alright said...

This can’t be much worse
than the can of paint thrown on
that famous rembrandt

7:52 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Maybe Donk’s release
comes at good time; this scroteputz
can’t carry Donk’s jock.
.
.
.
(…..though I’m sure he’d like to sniff it…..)

7:53 am February, 25 the douche is alright said...

I’m not really sure
that there’s a source of water
for these bathing suits

7:54 am February, 25 the douche is alright said...

I have an idea
let’s play my favorite game!
Duck, Duck, Duck, Duck, DOUCHE!

7:55 am February, 25 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Three hots laugh at pud
as downhill older sister
strikes a pose for douche

7:56 am February, 25 creature said...

I would gladly let
all four of these blonde hotties
squat and pee on me
.
.
.
just sayin’, son

7:58 am February, 25 the douche is alright said...

He checks every box
required of a douchebag.
I check blond boxes

7:59 am February, 25 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Billy’s pubic rash
Groin shave does not cause these bumps
Herpes is the call

8:01 am February, 25 the douche is alright said...

Let’s chop off his head
whittle it to a point and
play spin the bottle

8:02 am February, 25 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Large sunglasses hide
bandana to cover up
Billy knows his shame

8:03 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

Gay hotel waiter
brings ladies their check; their tip?
“Ewwwww, pop your ass zits!”

8:05 am February, 25 Wheezer said...

At least he’s bending
forward; blocks GSR but
shows ass shave reveal.

8:30 am February, 25 Anonymous said...

douchebag crossing guard
looks both ways, plays for pink team
blocks eye of coitus

8:50 am February, 25 Douchble Helix said...

@ 7:41 am February, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
5
7
5

No idea what I’ve done to offend you. Is it the same guy from Bill & Ted? My bad.

10:42 am February, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Douchble Helix
.
My lack of counting skills (see first haiku) and coffee before said first haiku allowed Dr. Jekyll instead of Doc Bunsen to come out. Sorry ’bout that. Please accept my apologies for being a dickhead. Hold on. I’m always a dickhead. Well, I hope you know what I mean.

11:10 am February, 25 Douchble Helix said...

I’m just glad that’s cleared up. I make more than enough enemies online, without hardly trying.

Oh, I get it! No, I just can’t rhyme, so that was my way of loopholing the requirement.

12:20 pm February, 25 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Dern what a douche I am I didn’t even notice this was the Friday Haiku. Jeez I am slipping fast.

12:32 pm February, 25 Dooshspotter said...

douchebags only job
is holding the bitches back
from others like him

12:53 am February, 26 appointment setting said...

I don’t see anything wrong with this guys goggles but the ladies can throw the remainder of him in the dumpster

12:04 pm February, 27 Steve L. said...

back problems are a
bitch when hitting on hotts. no
one care though. douchebag.

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