Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday Thoughts and Links

HCwDB of the Month winner, The Gynochin, has ditched Brunette Rhea for Hippie Hillary, a downgrade perhaps, but a tasty and bright morsel of thigh chomp in her own girl-next-door way.

But the popped collar kissy lips douchey of the ‘Chin remind us of a worthy Monthly winner building his case. Who will join him? Some quality submissions this week, and your humble narrator feels his mock impulse sated.

In other site news, the new spam filter is inexplicably holding up some comments from appearing, so if there’s a delay between your post and it actually showing up, I blame Donkey Douche.

But the genius of the threads is what keeps me going, so keep up the always amusing daily articulations of the mock.

And on that note, I begin drinking. Or continue it, depending on your point of view.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “A strange man defecated on my sister.”

In the Jerz, even the drunken late night brawls are douchey swamplands of homoeroticism and hair grease.

L.A. Hipster Hotties, “Garfunkel and Oats” produced an official video for their track, This Party Took a Turn for the Douche. Denis Leary approves.

S.I. swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker punches holes in my soul.

High tech videocamera technology, boredom and a Vegas hotel room all collaborated to create something pretty damn cool.

This is what happens when Grieco gets in the Grotto.

Were there douches in the middle ages? Sort of.

Mylie Cyrus. Former Jailbait + Ducklips = Why I don’t write about celebrities very often.

From the latest in one joke blogs that’ll quickly be forgotten (five years after they said that about HCwDB), I give you Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber.

But you’re not here for meta-comments. You’re here for Pear. And here ya go:

Mocha Pear.

For the Sista Hott loves among us.

Go forth unto eve, and do good. And by good, I mean boobie brush when reaching for the salt.

# posted by douchebag1
1:00 pm February, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

DB1, ironic you mention Donkey Douche. His delivery of controlled substance / armed violence / “da bomb” belt buckle case is still active an was up in court today. Damn, the wheels of justice move slow in Dupage County, IL. Free the Donk !

1:36 pm February, 18 Foxy Mocksy said...

Dang, that pesky Gynochin. He does at least know the meaning of “Hit it and Quit It”. Sorry Rhea.
.
Lesbos That Look Like Bieber is awesome. I couldn’t tell the difference.
.
And finally some chocolate butt love! Re: Mocha Pear

1:48 pm February, 18 Mr. White said...

If you put the salt shaker right in the cleavage, then it’s a lot easier to justify the boobie brush.
.
Just sayin’.

1:51 pm February, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I am still baffled by the kissyface epidemic of newer generations. Anyway have a great night you maniacs, I am I almost through my 4th day off psychiatric drugs and having 10 people for dinner to dine on cabbage rolls and coffee. And borstch and cheap vodka.

1:52 pm February, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Son.

1:53 pm February, 18 Blinded by the Shite said...

Anyone notice Har Mar Superstar in that Garfunkel and Oats video?
.
No-one got ill at the Playboy Mansion, so long as you don’t count herps as an illness. I don’t.

1:58 pm February, 18 DarkSock said...

That douche fight was gay. I mean, it was REAL gay; I’m talkin’ male shake-weight commercial in Phantom-Flex Slo-Mo gay. Son.

1:58 pm February, 18 Blinded by the Shite said...

Here’s Gynolick. Let’s hope it gets past Donkey Douche.
.
http://img812.imageshack.us/i/gynolick.png/

1:59 pm February, 18 DarkSock said...

And I approve of Garfunkel and Oats; that was some funny shit. I recognize that girl from that movie.

1:59 pm February, 18 DarkSock said...

^Son.

2:06 pm February, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Damn you DB1! Now I have “Sex with Ducks” going through my brain. Thanks.

2:12 pm February, 18 Vin Douchal said...

A good Woody movie, cocoa scented pear and that great tune by Garfunkel and Oates are barely enough to overcome Gynochin, Jerz, Miley, Beiber and well deserved Playboy Mansion STD’s spreading like wildfires in the Angeles National Forest .
.
.
Gynochin brings to mind the last verse of “Cousin Dupree” by poet laureate geniuses and chroniclers of American culture , Fagen and Becker
.
I said babe with my boyish charm and good looks
How can you stand it for one more day
She said maybe its the skeevy look in your eyes
Or that your mind has turned to applesauce
The dreary architecture of your soul
I said – but what is it exactly turns you off?

.
.
Son

2:26 pm February, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

For those who think that celebrities set trends rather than follow them. I give you – Miley Cyrus. Anyone who’s visited MySpace in the past seven years knows what I mean.

2:46 pm February, 18 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Nice to see the far-from-androgynous Alia Shawkat getting work…albeit as a sexually-confused douchebag.

“She ain’t no George Michael Bluth…” – fuccen brilliant

And nice to see a worthy successor to http://www.menwholooklikeKennyRogers.com

2:59 pm February, 18 Vin Douchal said...

T.O.P. opened with “Only So Much Oil In The Ground” last night. It is virtually impossible to see all that is going on with this monster collection of talent so I just lock in on Garibaldi on drums. Check it out:

3:29 pm February, 18 DarkSock said...

I am willing to bet every penny Mr. White earns this year that at some point in that pathetic drunken douche fight that each of those three idiots had an erection.

4:00 pm February, 18 Anthony LaBaglia said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXjcf47y-zk

4:01 pm February, 18 Only Women Bleeth said...

“douchey swampland of homoeroticism and hairgrease” Comedy gold DB1

@Sock: I wouldn’t take that wager

4:44 pm February, 18 Mr. White said...

Dear Billy Ray Cyrus,
.
I see your complete abdication of parental responsibility, and I raise you 100 STFUs. You’re the kid’s legal guardian, and you’re the one who whored her out to Disney and the “handlers” you have so much scorn for. You could have stopped it and at least made an attempt to raise her to be a semi-functional human being. You did not. Probably because of the coin she was making for your achy breaky cocck.
.
STFU.
.
That one’s for free.
.
Love,
Mr. White

5:24 pm February, 18 Mr. White said...

^Son.

5:24 pm February, 18 Flyteeth said...

FUCCEN SON!

5:28 pm February, 18 Foxy Mocksy said...

Flyteeth, did you ever know that you’re my hero? Happy Flyday compadre.

7:04 pm February, 18 Hermit said...

I can’t count the mornings I’ve woken up up with my eyes bloodshot and my weenus blistered, after spending a sleepless night of self-gratification viewing my second- favorite website, “Lesbians Who Look Like Lyndon Johnson.”

7:26 pm February, 18 Foxy Mocksy said...

@Hermit, then you should stock up on weenus cream and check out “Lesbians Who Look Like Barry Manilo”.

10:13 pm February, 18 DarkSock said...

I’m partial to “Lesbians Who Look Like Ernest Borgnine“.
1qrweg

10:27 pm February, 18 DarkSock said...

Any dude that looks as good as he does at age 94, and brags openly about boxing his clown until it pukes on its sac buddies, should obviously become President Of The Free World.

11:24 pm February, 18 Wheezer said...

^^Hell ‘Sock, I ought to live ’til 170 purely by what I’m doing to Mocha Pear’s pic…..

11:31 pm February, 18 Wheezer said...

I sense that this guy and the current House Speaker could eventually have a sword fight…..

2:07 am February, 19 soy bomb said...

Seriously the Gynochin, just stop. It’s over. You’ve lost. You’re now officially a parody of yourself. Stop it.

4:58 am February, 19 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I do have to say this about Gynochin… motherfucker never has an off day when it comes to making me want to drop kick his face into next week. Seriously, how the fuck can one douchebag stir such rage in me via a picture? Video, yeah, I’d get it, but a fucking picture is such a brief moment in time captured that you’d think just once I’d look and say, “eh, not that bad.”

7:48 am February, 19 Foxy Mocksy said...

@MC 900, you’ve got admire a douchebag with a perfect record. And by admire I mean crap on his grandpa’s grave.

9:10 am February, 19 Deltus said...

I needed a shot of Mocha Pear this cold Saturday morning. Warms the cockles of my heart. And you know what I mean.

11:54 am February, 19 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

MC 900 is right. There is something uncommonly rage-inducing about this Gynochin. We’ve seen specimens that deserve ruthless ridicule, and we’ve seen specimens that make you want to drop kick puppies. But even a 3-second exposure to Gynochin’s asshole-puckered “face” makes me want to discharge WWI-era chemical weapons in a crowded place. This is millennium-level baggery.

7:53 pm February, 19 Stephanie said...

I’d punch the pope in the face,if I could also punch gynochin too.

8:17 pm February, 19 Shane said...

this party turn for the douche is pretty douchey itself, lesbians that look like bieber is awesome, great pear

1:30 am February, 20 Steve L. said...

Mylie Cyrus is the reason why we need Brooklin Decker.

3:40 am February, 21 Motorcycle Parts said...

I give you â Miley Cyrus. Someone who’s visited MySpace historically seven years knows what I mean.

3:00 pm February, 21 wolfram74 said...

What the hell is the matter with that guys mouth ?

8:01 pm February, 21 Sir David Douchenborough said...

One question: So when any of those trolls bereft of cogent thinking come by and talk about them being “Alpha,” will it be enough of a response to link or just say “Garfunkel and Oates?”
.
Because, really, it just sums it all up. There is no further elaboration needed.

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