Monday, February 14, 2011

HCwDB of the Week: Stephanie and Suzanne meet the Greasepitz

A vile hottie/douchey cohabit from back on February 1st, this perfectly balanced double dose of scrotal/innocent dialectic is a prime example of the Zen of HCwDB in all its cultural atrocities.

Why?

Because often we see the slutty hotts and the ‘bags, and while the hott may be lustworthy in a douchadox sort of way, they pretty much deserve each other. Thus, no real discourse is generated. As we saw recently with, say, Nunzio’s Abs, Your Saturday Vegas Valtrex Sandwich or Yankee Doodle Doodie.

But here we have Blue Dress Stephanie and White Dress Suzanne. Both ubergnaw. Firm of buttocks and spirit. Two young giggle bobbles just looking to go out and have fun at the clubs.

And here we have the Greasepitz. Groin shave reveal and oiled up abs. Douche faces and douche everythings.

Together, they form the proper wrongness of cultural disgrace that deserves to be highlighted as a Weekly winner.

(Dis)honorable mention to the costumed but still douchey warrior for Reagan-era douchebaggery, Rambro, The shaming of the British Empire with Charles Dickens, the reappearance of Tendon Ted and Ass Pear Annie as Angry Bert, and the odious and best quickly forgotten (although potential 2011 Douchie Award winning) Speedo Shot First.

And a special, special grope-out to Melanie.

But lets chalk up the the two Emerson costume design majors and the Greasepitz as the first to compete in the next Monthly, and aim to take on our first monthly winner, Gynochin and Rhea, at the 2011 Douchie Awards.

# posted by douchebag1
7:22 am February, 14 DouchYouWannaDance said...

“Melanie”?

Based on the link, shouldn’t that be “Melon-y”?

7:48 am February, 14 Wedgie said...

Very shiny.

8:41 am February, 14 Ted Brogan said...

Don’t know what happened to the comments. But I can say that I truly did not realize that white dress was wearing a Star Trek outfit until Magnum pointed it out. And I’m perfectly fine with that.

8:53 am February, 14 Douche Springsteen said...

Eons ago, I can picture wooly mammoths slowly sinking to their demise while trudging across their abs.
I have to wonder if they leave grease spots on the chairs they sit in, à la a head of hair treated with Soul Glo.

9:42 am February, 14 Luis Douchuel said...

When Stephanie and Suzanne walked into a male strip clup, I’m sure they knew what they were getting into.

10:16 am February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Spectacle, but not spectacular. Are there really women out there that equate slimy to attractive?
.
I think, yes. Just as in there are men that find pigs like Pamela Anderson attractive.
.
The thing about the Greasepitzes is if they had shirts on they’d almost merit a “nota”. They look like any man on the street during a Neil Cavuto report.
.
However, the constant thirst for acknowledgment of their insignificant existence is dictating behavior.
.
Kind of like the contractor-type lunkhead that was poised to leave my bank’s parking lot this morning in his POS pick up truck through the clearly labeled “in” driveway. Not only is it clearly labeled with arrows and signs that you skoot into off of a very fast main boulevard intersection, there’s reverse signange on the way out screaming “EXIT ONLY” & “DANGEROUS INTERSECTION DO NOT EXIT” .
.
It was a true Mexican Standoff as I refused to back into traffic to let him out and remained there staring him down until he finally backed out of the way. He drove by me , back towards the wrong way out, and looked at me hard like I was a concerned law, abiding citizen with no criminal record that pays his taxes, owns a business, employs Americans, votes every election and speaks English that was interrupting his lawlessness .

11:26 am February, 14 Deltus said...

I’m still thinking that the Greasepitz are male strippers, so the risk of actual hott infection is pretty low. Then again, I’ve never been to a ladies strip club, so what do I know?

1:51 pm February, 14 Foxy Mocksy said...

Good choice DB1. The dpuche on the right is lesser known rapper Gree-Z.

2:31 pm February, 14 Baron Von Goolo said...

Very low, Deltus. I remember the day we had a local male stripper posing in our life drawing class in college. Every female art student on campus audited the class that day, and us guys were all ‘rassum frassum furshlugginer potrzebie…’

But then as soon as the model pranced in, every lap puddle dried up. He was as flaming as a marshmallow in a campfire. Friendly dude, worked at Chippendale’s back when there was such a thing, and told us stories about how all but two of his fellow dancers were batting for Team Purple.

The ladies were devastated. All of their Harlequin romance softcover fantasies had been shattered. And they came to terms at how good we all looked in comparison.

Long story short, the Greasepitz get a thunderous, two-fisted notta in my book. I think any of the other contenders would have made the monthly a tighter race for Gynochin.

9:12 pm February, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I was far more disgusted with the SPEEDO boyz and their skanky hott chick, but I reckon even DB1 has his limits for disgust. At least these two babes are as clean as a hot blue flame. They’ve a long way to fall before Bleethdom touches them, if indeed it ever does.

11:58 pm February, 14 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

I like it when ‘Bags are considerate enough to place obvious tatts. It appears that Orange Greasepit has put “Umbilical” in fine script right where even idiots know to look for the umbilical.

3:11 am February, 15 Steve L. said...

happy Valentine’s Day, Stephanie & Suzanne.
and but “happy Valentine’s Day” i mean gruesome mutilation of the Greazepitz.

7:21 pm February, 15 пьяница said...

there’s no one at that club, which means they’re all promotors lol. i dunno how HPV can recruit crowds for the club, but apparently they’re giving it their best shot.

Leave a Reply

What is 8 + 2 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)