Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Parking Lot Frolic: Zionism Style

And on the 8th day, Adonai pumped his fist to bad techno.

I need to recheck the historical record, but I’m fairly sure Theodor Herzl’s First Zionist Conference of 1897 did not contain any direct references to making Aliyah for the purposes of Douche Frolic.

(bonus brief Semitic Librarian Rachel Hottowitz Hottness glimpses at :17 and at 1:48)

# posted by douchebag1
11:49 am February, 9 Ohio FJ said...

What the fuck was that?

11:51 am February, 9 Douchble Helix said...

I’m not sure exactly what I just saw, but:
.
Kudos to the videographer for getting the hotts
.
The guy near the end just *had* to make an offer for something, but couldn’t offer the full price

12:08 pm February, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Actually these are recent converts jumping around in discomfort from their afternoon circumcision

12:11 pm February, 9 Wedgie said...

Hassidic clubgoers in white socks with sandals.
Yahweh is disgusted.

12:17 pm February, 9 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

oy vey!

12:18 pm February, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

When Frosh week and Shabbass collide, all hell breaks lose at Tel Aviv University. Well known for it’s antics, the non-kosher fraternity Beth-El Bacon has a hazing on the second Friday night every September. The pledges do Mogan-David stands and bong some Jerusalem Blue before the Techno Traffic Ticket Blitz.Before they can recover they have to endure shoe shine for Tay-Sacks Saturday afternoon. Winner gets his weight in sausage kniches and instant membership. Oy!

12:28 pm February, 9 The Dude said...

Jewshbags?

12:31 pm February, 9 Wedgie said...

Moments later, inbound Hezbollah rockets leveled the block. Allah be praised.

12:42 pm February, 9 Mr. White said...

The Hebrew on the side of the van says, “We drop bombs AND beats on Palestinians!”
.
.
.
.
Sorry.

12:45 pm February, 9 Scroteophobic said...

OK I think something just happened in my brain. An aneurysm or something. What I think I just saw could not have really been what I just saw. I’m going to press play again and see if it is different this time.

12:58 pm February, 9 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Somewhere, Golda Mier is weeping.

But Menachem Begin would, no doubt, be beggin to join ’em…’cuz that dude could fuccen par-TEE!

And by “parTY” I mean subjugate Palestinians.

1:02 pm February, 9 Vin Douchal said...

One of my favorite topics, Semitic Hottness:
.
Dianna Agron
<br.
.
Leah Michelle

.
Natalie Portman

.
Bar Rafaeli

.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm, Scarlett

.
Evan Rachel Wood
.

.
Emmy Rossum

.
MIla Kunis

.
Jennifer Connely

1:11 pm February, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Vin

Thanks for reminding me what Mrs. Kroeger looked like when she was a teenager. Fuccen 707 pound whale Jewess.

1:39 pm February, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Sloan, Emmanuelle Chriqui
.


.
Amanda Peet

.
Lisa Edelstein

1:40 pm February, 9 Stephanie said...

They really know how to get down,someone’s gotta send them some glitter t-shirts with stupid wings,and eagles on them.

2:05 pm February, 9 Anonymous said...

I’ll bet you shekels to bagels that MTV’s “Haifa Shore” is not too far off.

And come on guys, cool it with the Semitic hotts, I still need to get some work done today.

2:06 pm February, 9 jonezy said...

CHALLAH!!!

2:44 pm February, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Bar Rafaeli is all sorts of crazy hott.

3:19 pm February, 9 G said...

I figure the JewBros were on their way to shoot their movie – 2 shiksas 1 menorah…

4:02 pm February, 9 GG said...

HeBros

4:50 pm February, 9 Horace Dangleballs said...

They’re lucky the IDF didn’t hose their asses with .223 fire when they leapt out of that SUV. Ya gotta be aware of your environment, even if you’re you’re a douche.

5:02 pm February, 9 Wedgie said...

Vin, you should produce a slide show of Semitic Hottness set to Adam Sandler’s “Hanukah Song”. I’d pay a buck or two to watch it.

5:13 pm February, 9 Mr. Biggs said...

Ah thank you Vin … for taking me back to my roots. I feel the promise of freedom yet again!!!

As for Hassidic douche frolic, I’m quite conflicted. These are Hassids, after all, who are not doing this (at least overtly) for the purpose of wooing the hott. They’re just there to show, hey, orthodox judaism can be hip and happening too! And it’s really quite cute to see them frolicking outside Canters on Hannukkah.

So rather, I shall take this post as a tribute to semitic hottness. And the ridiculousness that all us semitic men feel in their presence. 😀

5:16 pm February, 9 Mr. Biggs said...

Paletsinians – the only oppressed people with their own ammunitions cache.

5:20 pm February, 9 Stone Cold Mocks said...

Jewish Chinese Firedrills?

8:01 pm February, 9 Douche ex Machina said...

Oy messhuginahs! The Hasidic Hotts make me all verklempt!

9:02 pm February, 9 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I need a Wailing Wall.
Now!

11:56 pm February, 9 Literati said...

Mr. Biggs,

I think you meant Israelis. The only oppressed people with nuclear weapons.

Before this devolves into a “who has the cleaner circumcision” contest, let me just say this —

All Jewish men want to have sex with Muslim women.

All Muslim men want to have sex with Jewish women.

All wars are about stealing the other guy’s hotts.

Salaam/Shalom

3:25 am February, 10 Doucheblaster said...

My penpal in the gaza strip said they showed this video in his nieces 5th grade bomb making class.

8:15 am February, 10 plague said...

Is there anything douchier than blocking traffic to douch it up?
I think not, no matter ones denomination.

9:58 am February, 10 Bag Margera said...

That’s hilarious. These guys were on An Idiot Abroad when Karl Pilkington went to Isreal. Karl has the appropriate response for these traveling frolickers.

9:59 am February, 10 Bag Margera said...

Here’s the link to that.

10:02 am February, 10 Mr. Biggs said...

I never wanted to have sex with Muslim women. Of course it’s a total misnomer since Muslim and Jewish women are pretty close genetically – at least us Sephardic Jews.
Still, stay the f*** away from them.

10:31 am February, 10 Bag Margera said...

There are some gorgeous muslim women in Toronto. They’re just absolutely crazy, is all.

10:34 am February, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Bag
.
That video kills. I’m glad someone was there to tell them they’re idiots.

11:15 am February, 10 Bag Margera said...

Karl Pilkington is the ultimate nottadouche. I highly reccomend watching An Idiot abroad. He goes all around the world tagging douchebags.

2:20 pm February, 10 Shane said...

saw the on an idiot abroad ,, these guys are pretty jacked

4:05 am February, 14 Motorcycle Parts said...

An aneurysm or something. What I think I just saw that really could not have been what I’ve seen. I’ll press play again and see if it is different this time.

11:44 am February, 14 Regular said...

this sounds like psy/goa trance

popular in israel I heard

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