Monday, February 14, 2011

Reader Mail: ‘Bag Hunters of Legend

—-
DB1,

Greetings from Canada. Just got married over New Year’s and wanted to share a couple of pics with you.

As a long time fan of your website, and as someone who’s introduced several of my siblings and close buddies to your pointed social commentary, caustic mock and stylistic meanderings, I decided to forgo the usual wedding party presents and instead opted for the gift that keeps on giving. All the groomsmen were pleased with their shiny new
copies of HCwDB the Book
.

Keep up the fine work. It’s a lonely struggle, but I’ve got full
confidence you (we) will one day persevere. As the old fable teaches us, at the end of the race, the tortoise gets the Hott and the douchebag hare gets chlamydia. Or something like that.

The Douche of Hazard
——

I am honored, humbled and pleased by your inclusion of my book in your wedding party, TDoH. (gratuitous plug: available on sale right now at Amazon.com).

Therefore, I hereby bestow and knight each member of your wedding party with the following honor: You are each, now and forever, ‘Bag Hunters of Legend.

Go forth untoward the Hotts, and carry on the Mock of all things Scrotal as newly minted knights in our continuing battle on the choadal plague.

# posted by douchebag1
2:15 pm February, 14 jonezy said...

TDoH,
.
Please include Hotts in the photo next time. You know, next time you get married or whatever…
.
.
.
.
(I jest. Congrats)

2:22 pm February, 14 Mr. Biggs said...

Freaking awesome. Score one for the good guys.
.
And go figure. Not a sign of grease, ridiculous hair or tatts on any of them.

2:33 pm February, 14 Foxy Mocksy said...

Those hand gestures better be ironic. I’ll give them a pass for now since they probably haven’t read the good book yet. I see you two guys on the right. Are you really from the Westside? Oh no worries, I’ll just check with 4-Prong’s cousin on the left to verify.
.
Great gift for the groomsmen. Hopefully they undouched themselves to score hella desparate drunk hottie bridesmaid tang at the reception.

2:45 pm February, 14 Mr. White said...

Is that some kind of elaborate, fuschia-colored glory hole doily on the table in front of them?

2:47 pm February, 14 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

This thread needs some pear. Please enjoy covered, but still nice weather bunny pear.

http://img641.imageshack.us/i/nicolekarkic2288.jpg/

3:08 pm February, 14 Hermit said...

Meanwhile, Lämp deftly lifts the unsuspecting groomsman’s wallet.

3:10 pm February, 14 Wedgie said...

How did you guys get Plinky’s Mom to lend you her diaphragm?

3:12 pm February, 14 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

No offense (which you know it means I’m going to now offend someone) that gift sucks balls. Great gift, but not for a wedding party gift.

3:43 pm February, 14 Foxy Mocksy said...

@MC 900, I bought one for everyone that attended my Uncle Lou’s wake. I suppose you’re going to tell me THAT wasn’t an appropriate gift for the time? I’ve got a lot of d-bags in my family and I don’t trust the mail, so it was the perfect time to give it to them.

3:47 pm February, 14 Barnes and Noble said...

The book has now officially reached Aluminum in sales. I kid.

4:01 pm February, 14 Sir David Douchenborough said...

My Dear Douche of Hazard,
.
Given the Great White North’s losing streak as of late when it comes to douchey embarrassment, let me extend some great gratitude for redeeming our fair Dominion. We cannot deny that there is douchebaggery A Mari usque ad Mare , so I do hope that you stand as the Vanguard in a much needed region of our geographically vast nation. I try desperately here in the East, but regrettably, many of them end up in the Nation’s Capital, especially inside and outside of the House and Senate. The war is long, but it is nice to hear that you have one more added to the ranks. Now, if we can just JTF2 to do a little cleanup in Toronto, I think we would be back on track.

6:55 pm February, 14 Deltus said...

TDoH, excellent pic, great douchal irony. You realize, now, with this honour (spelled the Canadian way, eh?) comes responsibility. You must mock.

8:27 pm February, 14 Crucial Head said...

As Plinky’s mom’s freshly severed, still throbbing clitoris lay precariously on the precipice of the changing room’s vanity, the surgical strike team of (clockwise: l-r) Hung Lo, Beauregard, Cornelius, Elmer, Marvin, Delmar Largeman, and Ryan Seacrest, celebrated their prized booty with a moment of spontaneous mirth.
.
(Sorry boys – ‘caption this’ and me go together like Senator’s and wide stances)

8:54 pm February, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I can only imagine what kind of gift the bride got for her bridesmaids.

9:38 pm February, 14 DarkSock said...

As all eight members of the Canadian Secret Service posed after their 12th round of Molsen’s, Ted received the shocking news than someone actually bothered throwing a shoe at the Prime Minister.
.
What’s that, aboot?

9:58 pm February, 14 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

I miss Ms. Oblongata.

11:20 pm February, 14 Stephanie said...

I’ll check them for tattoos,any weird clothing from Ed Hardy…that was weird,I typed in “douche bag clothing” and the first thing was Ed Hardy….holy shiit.
But I hope these manly looking men, aren’t douche bags in wedding disguise. I’ll find you and hunt you down.

1:14 am February, 15 free music said...

i like it Reader armor: ‘Bag Hunters of myth « Hot Chicks with Douchebags now im your rss reader

2:27 am February, 15 Steve L. said...

i demand to see pictures of the bride.
.
for the public good, of course.

3:18 am February, 15 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Foxy Mocksy…

No, if your family is filled with douchebags and the uncle in question was also a douchebag it makes perfect sense. It’s like showing a picture of a cancer filled lung to a smoker. Scare ’em straight!

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