Thursday, February 24, 2011
Reader Mail: Four Prong Rains on Seattle
Jesse writes in from Seattle with a Four Prong tag:
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So it has now come to my attention that 4-prong either lives in my sweet Seattle… or decided to drop his sweet douche self by… which is not okay.
I spotted these pictures that a few friends of mine posted, and had to ridicule and applaud them for snagging a photo with this fool. Enjoy.
– Jesse
P.S. I have no idea who this other douche is, but had to include his duck face.
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Like The King before him, the truly odious carriers of the Grieco Virus are mobile. Spreading their taint on hot chicks across this nation.
Especially the Bobbsie Triplets. Three glorious peroxided blondages of feminine spank gnaw.
“The Doucheman Cometh”, at a theater near you!
The Bobbsie Triplets are prime examples of Tier 2 Hotts that my heart so desires. They look great in these photos, and disappear into the woodwork when a truly epic quality Tier 1 walks into the room. And that’s when you strike, when they’re at their emotionally angriest and weakest. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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*aherm* Um, sorry.
At least it wasn’t The Four Douchemen: Douchepocalypse Now.
The guy in the middle is Hal, the slow-witted maintenance man at the RepubliQ. When Four Prong asked if he’d be interested in some bondage, Hal replied, “No, I got most of my stuff in mutual funds.”
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Four Prong took the pic anyway.
He’s a lumberjack and that’s okay;
Mr. White ties him up, he loves the yellow spray
He’s a lumberjack and that’s okay;
His lotion and his diary both read “Ben Gay”
He’s a lumberjack and that’s okay;
Fluffing twinks on the set for his weekly pay
If 4Prong were to fight Douche Lee in a ThunderDome battle to the death, which do you think would be the victorious winner to face Bats Maru in the finals?
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No, you’re right. The fight card would more likely be seen at the Kumite
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“Say it Bats! Saaaay it!!!“
He’s a lumberjack and that’s okay;
he wants to tuts mah barrah in a bad bad way
This is Seattle, people. We ALL wear plaid lumberjack shirts and plain white tees.
I’m shocked the hotts aren’t dressed exactly like him. They must be from the Eastside, just visiting downtown.
He’s a lumberjack and that’s OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day,
On Friday night after he draws his pay,
He lies on his back, jerking off to Rachel Ray.
At one point I actually considered moving to Seattle. The city is one of the cleaner cities, there’s coffee shops everywhere, a woman could walk around at 11pm at night alone and not feel like she was going to get a hobo beatdown, and they’ve got a market where hot dudes throw fish at eachother. But now all of that gloriousness has been tainted by the Prong. I’m sorry Seattle. It looks like you’re just going to be a nice place to visit.
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I have to say this for Prongy, at least heshe is dressed up for the level of party heshe is attending. You’re lucky your only competition is a spiked up shim with the downstairs anatomy of a Ken doll (only educated speculation.), flannel jacket guy or else you might be mistaken for a cab driver. (An admirable profession mind you, however there is no need to dress up for it.)
Seattle’s new theme song: Its Raining Shims.
Nice of them to include the symbol for 4-Prong on the backdrop. Give my regards to Prince, dumbass.
A nice dream: someone slips Four Prong a sleeping pill on a Friday afternoon, right before some huge “party weekend,” and shaves his prongs.
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I want to see the despair on his douche face when he wakes up in fright and hopelessness.
And duck face douche inspires a new category: Most Skillet-Worthy Mug
pulled out of a raging bonfire and coated with coal tar.
and dessicated bear scat.
@Wheezer 8:38am, dude, I want to see VIDEO of what you just described. I’ll bet big money (like, say, five bucks) that four prong has a seriously high pitched voice when he’s weeping. And you know if he awoke to his prongs shaved off, he’d cry like a bitch. Honestly, nothing would make me happier than to see that.
and porch beef jerky chunks.
@Wheezer 8:38:
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His hot snotty hitching sobs, reminiscent of an asthmatic gibbon dashing up stairs with a hot peppermint stick in its asshole, would be a divine symphony to our ears.
If I was depressed enough about losing my job I now have to see these fuckers. God help me!
@G-Thang and ‘Sock –
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And then he’d be so distraught at losing his “lifestyle” that he’d file a lawsuit, but the judge would dismiss it with prejudice…..after showing a few Four Prong pics from the site and offering a bit of his own mock.
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Oh what a wonderful world that would be…..
And “Asthmatic Gibbon” would be one hell of a band name. I’ll play bass.
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Son.
DarkSock @ 9:08—That was damn near Fapworthy.
@Medusa: whadayamean “damn near”? And does anybody have any tissues, because I really need some.
Duck Face Douche isn’t making a duckface, he’s actually a duck. A union duck. On strike from his job of shitting on golf course putting greens. In hunt-free zones. A wussduck, if I may
Non celebrities acting like celebrities. You didn’t win any awards,unless for most confused boy as girl, 4 prong.
now Seattle is forced to never sleep. and that’s fucked.
do you think 4 prong is an electrician?