Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Skippy and Timmy and Playboy Gangstas

Continuing our theme this morning of wily pudwacks who worm their way into situations well above their puberteric ranking, we find Skippy and Timmy.

Somehow talking Inga and Minka, the hottest exchange students from the local junior college, into posing for “Playboy Night.”

Now granted, Skippy and Timmy blew the last of Aunt Jennie’s 16th Birthday gift money on the ladies for the evening’s dress-up festivities.

But it was worth it.

Wait’ll the bros on Second Life hear about this party!! They’ll be jelly for years to come. Bro.

# posted by douchebag1
1:33 pm February, 23 Wedgie said...

Russian Mob recruiting tactics are improving.
Daz vedanya, comrade blondie.

1:33 pm February, 23 Poppadaddio said...

Nottadouche X2
BRAVO!
Some kids attain at a young age what we all aspire to.

1:37 pm February, 23 Anonymous said...

Painted on pasties? Holy Frijoles.

1:37 pm February, 23 Fatness said...

Tasty pink boobies there on the left appears to have her face glued on. Nice paint job though. The two choadstools will never figure out where the rest of their cash went.

1:38 pm February, 23 Fatness said...

^^ Anonymous (1:37), google “body painting” in Images and then prepare to not get anything done for the rest of the day.

1:40 pm February, 23 Anonymous said...

I’m ‘mirin the aesthetics of the girl on the right that looks like a very oung Sylvia Saint.

this makes me think i should sleep with all three of the 18 year olds i somehow know socially and never look back.

1:42 pm February, 23 Anonymous said...

^^My employer thanks you!!

1:45 pm February, 23 Stephanie said...

My cards say one pair of pole dancers,and a pair of clueless pasty-face 16 year old Wonder White breads.

1:48 pm February, 23 Foxy Mocksy said...

Great ad for the police department. I don’t know how you got those girls Officers Skippy and Timmy, you just remember to tip well okay.
.
This Second Life game, is this something I should know about?

1:59 pm February, 23 Foxy Mocksy said...

@anonymous 1:40p, follow your heart!

2:02 pm February, 23 DarkSock said...

In Soviet Russia, Prostitute Solicits YOU.

2:08 pm February, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

In Soviet Russia you don’t jerk guys off in public, they jerk your hand right the fuck off. Ask disembodied head Inga, she knows.

2:09 pm February, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

CSI Minsk.

2:10 pm February, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Skippy and Timmy blew the last of Aunt Jennie’s 16th Birthday gift money on Chinese Cockk Handcuffs

2:23 pm February, 23 Douchble Helix said...

I can’t tell whether they’re gonna get laid or get robbed. I think I just answered my own question.

2:25 pm February, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Inga’s got the crazy eyes that are telling us the roofies are just starting to kick in…… NOW!

2:37 pm February, 23 jonezy said...

maybe these guys are the new wave Gary & Wyatt, and their grandparents are in a freezer somewhere?
.
No, you’re right, they don’t know how to use a computer outside of Second Life

2:56 pm February, 23 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Too much chlorine in Hugh’s grotto.

3:02 pm February, 23 DarkSock said...

The Poon-Cockk Saints

3:04 pm February, 23 DarkSock said...

The Poon-Cockk Taints

3:06 pm February, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Lose Brothers

3:15 pm February, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Hey everybody, there’s a party in the stock room!

That Skippy and Timmy sure can pull some hotts….

3:24 pm February, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So let me get this straight. Lazy Ass Pud Drip with the “blink-as-you-walk” tennis shoes thinks he’s gonna pee in horse face Amanda’s butt while Noodle Yodeling Pickle Dick has designs on scaling Jailbait Jenny? Yeaaaaah riiiiight. And I just invented a drug that turned Stackhouse into a multiple Noble Prize winner.

3:36 pm February, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

@jonezy
.
“maybe these guys are the new wave Gary & Wyatt” Maybe they are but Chet is still an asshole!!!

4:14 pm February, 23 Wedgie said...

^But he did give us “I’d like to butter your muffin”. Which is how I met Mrs. Wedgie.

4:44 pm February, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

No matter what they imply, no amount of money can get you luvin’ in the champagne room. The *stock* room, apparently, is a different story. The smart tipper will insist on slipping the money into Minka’s perky breast pocket.

4:53 pm February, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Weird Science II – No longer limited by 2400 baud.

5:03 pm February, 23 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Freeze or the bunny gets it.

5:03 pm February, 23 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Put the bunny in the box.

5:18 pm February, 23 Flyteeth said...

IN SOVEIT FUCCEN RUSSIA, SALTY FUCCEN TEARS CRYY YOU!

5:39 pm February, 23 Vin Douchal said...

The same artist that spray painted them boobies also created masterpieces on these douchebags’ faces portraying them from normal dudes to slack jawed, lazy-brained , short bus, illiterate, feeble, drooling mongoloid wussies
.
Some people are so creative, it’s impressive sometimes….

6:44 pm February, 23 Medusa Oblongata said...

A couple of pillowcases would bring those girls from 7s to 10s. Yeah, I fuccen said it. Let all the “Ur just jelly, Medusa” shit begin. I’d rather have my average body and decent face. These two are like some horrid mythological creatures…the bodies of extraordinarily beautiful women, the heads of donkeys.

6:47 pm February, 23 Mr. White said...

@medusa
Your donkey hybrids just gave me an idea. To the playpen!

7:02 pm February, 23 Foxy Mocksy said...

@Medusa, without the spackled on makeup I’m sure they’re actually still pretty attractive. Also if they went with a more natural hair color, like their natural hair color, they’d be 10’s. (If one was inclined to rate outside appearance on a scale.) Hatin’ on other women’s appearances just sets women back even further. If that’s your M.O., then play on playa, just know that you come across as pretty insecure instead of a-okay with who you are.

7:11 pm February, 23 Douchble Helix said...

@Medusa – these are babies. Those bods will change, and if they *are* Russkies, change = bad.

8:16 pm February, 23 dbBen said...

@Flyteeth – hahahahaha
.
I know these girls probably deserve these shorty duders, but still, I went and found a baby sloth giving a baby anteater a hug and angrily spit in both their faces. Their big watery eyes didn’t understand my contempt. Then I felt bad and we all three broke down in tears.
.
After some honey graham crackers and showing them this picture, the anteater punched the monitor and the sloth threw up.

8:50 pm February, 23 Foxy Mocksy said...

@dbBen, they were hugging? Awwww.

8:55 pm February, 23 Otto von Scrotewankenpoodlegeschencksmaier said...

It’s gotta be the shoes.

Jesus Christ on rollerskates, surely these guys still have the shoes from their First Communion they could wear. How far do they have to walk?

9:23 pm February, 23 K-man said...

My adorable new little fuzzy border-collie puppy just looked at the monitor then squashed the baby hamsters and shit on my keyboard.
Those border collies are intelligent indeed.

9:26 pm February, 23 Anonymous said...

My adorable new little fuzzy border collie puppy just looked at the monitor then went and squashed the baby hamsters and shit on my keyboard.
Those border collies are intelligent indeed.

10:23 pm February, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Relax, it’s just the Justin Bieber effect .
Wait. Did I say, relax?
I meant “Ex-lax.”

11:49 pm February, 23 The Dude said...

Are there body painting courses available at LACC?

slurp

12:44 am February, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

The girls are obviously professionals and were properly scouted for the job(?).
.
As for these pudwanking fools, I have no idea where they came from or how they weaseled their way into this scene without breaking trespass laws. I mean, look at their fucking shoes! Those are the shoes of part-time Costco warehouse temps. Not even their pants shirts hats anything fit.
.
And what brokerage firms office supply closet are they partying in? HPV Securities? Herp Pustule Investments? Johnson Harder & Cram Asset Management?

12:58 am February, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And to you, bleach blond w/ extensions and too much eye makeup in a vain attempt to hide your trailer park roots: yes, I will shove a dollar in your thong for grinding your ass on my crotch while I munch on this tasty reuben and home fries. Thank you for the taxi service, no I would not like a private dance and hand job to Shake That by Eminem for $10, but thank you for the offer.

7:19 am February, 24 ehcuodouche said...

The one on the left needs an oat bucket, but I wouldn’t kick the one on the right out of bed for eating crackers.

FYI, the one on the right eats crackers in bed. And the crumbs leave scratch marks on your ass. Son.

7:22 am February, 24 Deltus said...

@Medusa: nope, you nailed it. My first thought when gazing upon these hotts was “damn, I’d rub my cocck just about anywhere on either of them”, then my second thought was “gawdamn, their faces sure as FUCC ain’t the equal of the rest of them”.
.
Know what would really help both of them? Party masks. Masquerades hide a multitude of ugly.

8:02 am February, 24 DarkSock said...

Either of them would look fuccen hot wearing a rubber mask, climbing out of a Maserati, and being chest-molested by a rubber glove affixed to the end of a trombone playing “Yankee Doodle” rather badly.

8:05 am February, 24 Crazed Aborigine said...

I think Minka on the right just got too much paint on the face along with that on the boobies. There is nothing wrong with her that a brillo pad and a bucket of cold water, a heavy dose of tetracyclene, and 2 or 3 years of tutoring and therapy couldn’t cure.

8:06 am February, 24 Hermit said...

^ Especially the one with the LAPD hat.

8:52 am February, 24 skrag2112 said...

No fun with acronyms yet? Let me start a thread…

Likes
Anally
Probing
Donkeys

Need
Your
Penis
Dad

10:21 am February, 24 Wheezer said...

Skippy: “DUDE, check out dese chicks! They’re NAKED, bro!!!!!”
.
Timmy: “Ohhhhh DUDE! Dis rox! Ohhhhh maaaaan!”
.
Skippy: “Yeah man, da boyz ain’t gonna believe us when we tellz ’em wut we wuz doin’ dis weekend!”
.
Timmy: “Yeah brah, good thing your mom fronted you some cash so we could pay these bitchezz to party wit us!”
.
Skippy: “Oh dude, here dey come wit the camera. Look hard, bro!”
.
Timmy: “Yeah, we deserve dis shit. They want US, bro!”
.
.
.
.
.
Never mind the fact that they were swimming in their own premature ejaculation before the “women” arrived…..

10:23 am February, 24 Medusa Oblongata said...

I say: “Let all the “Ur just jelly, Medusa” shit begin.”
.
Foxy Mocksy sez: “just know that you come across as pretty insecure instead of a-okay with who you are.”
.
Nice goin’ there, n00b. Shouldn’t you be on 4chan with that silly nonsense? You walked right into it. Oh, and by the way, I loved this astute observation of yours: “Hatin’ on other women’s appearances just sets women back even further”. Right. Because going out in public dressed in only panties and paint on your tits, hanging all over idiots you don’t even know, then later smearing the pics all over the internet for the world to see, is rocketing women into the forefront of society, making us respected and not the least like brainless sex objects. I highly doubt my opinion is doing anything to set women back, they seem to be doing a fine job without my help
.
And, not finding someone else attractive does not imply self loathing, it is simply a matter of personal taste. I would fuck the shit out of Anne Hathaway, with her non-classical beauty, because I LOVE THE WAY SHE LOOKS.
.
Foxy, you FAIL. Do not address me again unless you have something worth the time it takes me to read it.

10:29 am February, 24 Anthony LaBaglia said...

That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

10:31 am February, 24 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Mr. White–We’re gonna need more electricity for this one, I can tell.
.
@Double Helix–Good lord, yes. A lifetime of Potatoes and Vodka is hard on the visage.
“Een Soviet Russia, Party finds YOU!”

10:44 am February, 24 Foxy Mocksy said...

@Medusa, I know you said not to address you again and as I type this I feel as if you’re lubing up Frank and I can only hope I’m not worthy of a Franking, or I have a feeling it would be a Franking sans lube. I guess I fell for the trap. Time to shop for tiny red shorts and get some memes generating up in this piece.

10:59 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Medusa
.
“I’d rather have my average body and decent face.” says the rad-haired minx who makes all ‘baghunters hearts go aflutter. If I was 15 years younger and there was no Mrs. Doc Bunsen and no Mr. Biscotti… And I totally agree with you about these two. They belong on the cover of “Plow and Tractor Jail Bait Weekly”.

11:00 am February, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Jesus fuccen Christ. rad? red? I’m so fuccen tired I I can’t tell a from e.

12:55 pm February, 24 UFO Destroyers said...

I’m with Medusa on this one. There’s a good way to go to the playpen and then there’s the way Mocksy is going to wind up there. I do not envy that outcome.
.
.
The young ones are young and unsure of their true appearance. They are attempting to compensate for some of their imperfections by showing copious amounts of skin in the presence of these soft-skulled dickwads. I don’t mind copious amounts of skin as long as it is “tastefully done.” Besides, isn’t one of these boys a Jonas brother?

1:24 pm February, 24 mojowrkn said...

Im going to steal your girlfriend……

3:16 pm February, 24 Douchble Helix said...

Catfight!!!!

3:19 pm February, 24 Foxy Mocksy said...

^My money is on Medusa.

9:36 pm February, 24 Otto Von Skidmarck said...

Minkas bunny helps hide her C scar

1:18 pm February, 27 Zeussy puussy said...

Howd these larry’s get any sloots with those raggedy ass shoes?

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