Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Stephanie and Suzanne Meet The GreasePitz

And learned, first hand, what bronzer, groin shave reveal and part time employment at Jiffy Lube smells like.

Hint: It does not smell like victory.

# posted by douchebag1
7:23 am February, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Smells like teen BO…..

7:30 am February, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Stephanie and Suzanne chose wisely when they went shopping at Mandee’s before their big night out clubbing at the local Grease Monkey Lounge, since they met up with Coby and Juan who spritzed them with copious amounts of bodily fluids including, but not limited to, sweat, grease, Vitalis, oils, spittle and Axe body spray. The stains and the smells will never come out, even when the garment is properly cleaned, but at $16 per dress the girls still came out ahead.

7:31 am February, 1 Flyteeth said...

I BET FUCCEN STEPHANEIE SMELLS LIEKE VCITORY! BUT SUZNNESA SMELLSL IKE SLAPHWOASR AND LACK OF FUCCEN TARMAL!

7:38 am February, 1 Deltus said...

Ugh. Stripperbags. The Axe stench is twice as bad on them as even a bodybuilderbag.
.
Ladies, showering alone won’t get rid of that smell. Nor bathing in tomato juice. You have to move to vinegar, ammonia, or bleach, depends on how long you were in the strip club.

7:43 am February, 1 FoghornLeghorn said...

I think this photo was taken during an alien abduction. The colored lights and the green extra-terrestrials over Tattoo Greasepitz’s shoulder give it away. The remaining life on earth is better off for it, though.

7:47 am February, 1 Hermit said...

Shirtlessness in public is a heinous crime. There is no punishment is too harsh.
In nineteenth century Homoslavia®, the Greasepitz would have been sent careening down an icy bobsled run, at break- neck speed, on a two man luge, into the whirling metallic jaws of an industrial snow blower. Their ground-up bodies would then be spewed across the snow in a cascade of blood, gore and bone fragments as the locals cheered in a drunken orgy of Nordic justice.
.
.
I long to pull Suzanne’s blue dress down from the hem and slide it slowly off her slightly sweaty body as a Bavarian figure skater pulls off her tube socks following a bronze medal-winning performance.

8:02 am February, 1 smackdouche said...

It is a strip club in Bizarro world.

8:12 am February, 1 Wedgie said...

“See your future, Danny. Be your future”.
–Ty Webb

8:28 am February, 1 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Ladies, unless you’re doing laundry, please step away from the washboards.

8:32 am February, 1 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

Time to shut down the Weekly. And maybe the Monthly.

8:36 am February, 1 Captain Garanichode said...

get that man a squeegee!

8:38 am February, 1 Douchble Helix said...

I dunno what to think about all that.
.
.
[Anytime someone says “I dunno what to think about all that” that means they really know *exactly* what they think about all that. And it ain’t good.]

8:40 am February, 1 B.A.G. du Bois said...

Arg. All of the horrendous accoutrements are there and they are indeed stains. However, it makes mocking difficult for me when they smile earnestly like that. For me, 90% of baggishness is in the attitude/duck lips/vapid, brain dead stare.

Puds nevertheless, but with a little redeeming value in my book.

9:16 am February, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

They’re sooo shiney. Elanor would have to change her large grandma sized panties thrice upon viewing. Where is my favorite Haggatha Christie anyways?

9:25 am February, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Pretty sure those are male strippers. This atrocity is taking place in a “club” in much the same way as it’s always ladies night at a whore house.
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Poor stripper bag on the left does NOT dig teh ladies. It’s written on his face as clear as the gooey facial he’d rather be enjoying.

9:39 am February, 1 Luis Douchuel said...

I thought pro ‘bags got somewhat of a pass, with their doucheattributes tied up in their “professions.”

9:40 am February, 1 Wheezer said...

When will the ladies learn that male strippers aren’t into them? They’d rather grease each other.

9:46 am February, 1 Crucial Head said...

Alejandro stood in a stoic state of anesthetic shock, as the surgeon’s remote green laser carved his spinal cord into cervical confetti.

10:00 am February, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Will there never be an end to what keeps washing up on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico? And then some dumps it at a club? How thoughtless!

10:00 am February, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ some???????? try someone

10:28 am February, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

So that explains why my oil light keeps coming on. We’re gonna need a couple bags of kitty litter for this.

10:31 am February, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

A cast pic from ABC’s new prime time sitcom, Oil in the Family.

10:38 am February, 1 Et Tu Douche? said...

Junior Seau was and is still not happy with his sons line of work. Young Junior gone the route of male stripper has brought great shame on family.

10:55 am February, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Commence beaming humanoid life form aboard ship.”
.
.
.
.
“Gargalex, what is the problem. We need this specimen to probe for intelligence.”
“Sirulut, I am trying but the tractor beam is having problems. It appears the specimen has some sort of his own force field that must be overcome. It seems to be composed of high molecular weight straight-chain hydrocarbons and vapor that appears to be toxic to us.”
.
.
“Aw fucck it Gargalex. Let’s go grab another of those cow things. At least they can hold an intelligent conversation.”

11:10 am February, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Douchey Wallnuts 7:30 am
Sir, I want to shake your hand. And there is no double entendre there. I mean it. Can someone please explain to me why clothing that was made from low-grade petroleum and assembled by child slave workers in southeast Asia is considered stylish? I am appalled at how cheap and shitty womens’ clothing is nowadays. Yeah, I’m in TJ Maxx buying jeans and hoodies. But if I have to buy anything for any fancier occasion that going to work or laying on the sofa watching television, I get it off of Ebay. But that’s because I’m buying shit made in the 1940s-50s. No fuckin’ elastic waistbands, plastic zippers, rayon, lurex, or drawstrings. Bakelite buttons that are worth more than the garment itself, and they were hand-sewn on by Marjorie at Station 12. Darts and pleats so it fits and flatters the body with some structure, instead of some one-size fits-fatass pull-on number with seams that unravel as soon as you inhale.
.
Sorry. I know that’s off the subject. But it’s something that had been burning my ass for a few years now.
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And these guys look like the greasy turds my dog squeezed out this morning. I gave her a hot dog and a tangerine last night, no lie.

11:48 am February, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Medusa
.
Try having a wife that is 4’8″ and wears a size 5 shoe. NOBODY makes clothes for petite women. Well, I guess they do if you consider “petite” going up to size 14. That shit totally cracks me up. We’ll be out at a store and I’ll be sitting in the requisite “husband/boyfriend chair” and I’ll see some 850 lb women searching for clothes in the petite section. It is usually at this time that I start crying like a hyena followed by a “thump” which would be me falling off the chair. Security will come over (almost all the time) and then I point, stifle a guffaw, and then the guard joins me for a healthy laugh. Never fails. The 850 lb gorilla will look over, see us holding each other up to keep from falling, gets huffy and then leaves. I love that part the best. Just makes my fuccen day. Shoe shopping has stopped because she can actually find stuff on zappos.com. Thank fuccen God.
.
Just an aside, don’t feed your goggie oranges or tangerines or anything from the citrus family. That is unless you want more runny poops. Poor things only need very small amounts of it. We’re much bigger and it is part of our citrus acid cycle (stoopid biochemistry shit!) because we are one of the few mammals that don’t produce it naturally. I’m not trying to be an asshole but I found out the hard way that goggy + cheese = tons of diarrhea and dehydration.

12:29 pm February, 1 DarkSock said...

When did having less chest hair than a fetal piglet become manly?

12:44 pm February, 1 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

No, seriously. There are green martians seated behind this greasy mess of douche. And the bleeth in white appears to be wearing a star trek uniform dress.

1:23 pm February, 1 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

Grease bags and babes. I need spicy BBQ chicken for lunch to settle my guts after seeing this pic.

1:24 pm February, 1 Jean Luc Scrotetard said...

Must horrible to be shorter than the weaker sex or have a head the size of a Skittle…..must be on the very last hole of the adjuster thing in back…….just sayin

8:50 pm February, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Well, suckle my thighs and gnaw my shoulders, but when the Pam sprayed orange torsos, arms and chesticles are more stunning than the long-limbed boobified babes, it’s time to ask, “Who will blow these douchebags to smithereens by sucking the air out and re-inflating to excess pressure?”

3:55 am February, 2 Motorcycle Accessories said...

Their ground-up body will then be thrown over the snow in a cascade of blood, gore and bone fragments that people applauded in a drunken orgy of justice in the Nordic countries.

1:58 pm February, 2 Stephanie said...

I’m kinda mad that she has my name. And why did those guys use ass lube all over themselves? Are they going to slide into a giant’s asshole?

3:04 pm February, 2 Troy Tempest said...

These are the choadwafffles who greet you in hell.

5:56 pm February, 2 Lil' Fartknocker said...

Said to see such hottness spend their hard-earned moola for the “privilege” of receiving sweaty groin pumpy when I’m willing to do it for free. My six-pack looks better than theirs’ and I’ll serve it up in a clean glass to boot.

8:39 am February, 3 anonymouse said...

The one on the right looks a bit like Shawne Merriman. So does the dude.

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