Monday, February 21, 2011

The Kennedy Head Wound ‘Bag

Back… and to the left… back… and to the left…

Too soon?

# posted by douchebag1
1:26 pm February, 21 Foxy Mocksy said...

Nah DB1, not soon enough. Just like this douche and a date with the treadmill.
.
Worst.combover.ever.

1:30 pm February, 21 The Dude said...

This guy needs a real head wound, from a fish slap.

1:40 pm February, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guy is just a dirty fuckhead. He did use dye though. She’s had one case of HPV, but that was in grade school, and will provide him blowies as long as he keeps off brown liquor and doesn’t hit the kids. He also needs a shower, shave, and haberdasher to improve his earning potential. Son.

1:42 pm February, 21 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Mary Jo: Teddy, Teddy, I think I’m pregnant.

Teddy: Don’t worry Mary Jo, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

1:46 pm February, 21 Fatness said...

^^The classics never die.

1:46 pm February, 21 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

It is the hair styling from “Something About Mary”

http://mimg.ugo.com/200806/20612/Hair-gel.jpg

1:57 pm February, 21 Hermit said...

Have we seen this guy before?

1:59 pm February, 21 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Four Prong should drown him in hair gel for such a disgrace!!

2:01 pm February, 21 DarkSock said...

Jimmy’s mom proudly hugged him for winning the Special Olympics Science Fair with his reenactment of the Zapruder Film using Lady Clairol™.

2:01 pm February, 21 DarkSock said...

Jimmy’s mom proudly hugged him for winning the Special Olympics Science Fair with his reenactment of his moment of conception using his head as the egg. And Lady Clairol™.

2:02 pm February, 21 DarkSock said...

Jimmy’s mom proudly hugged him for winning the Special Olympics Science Fair with his reenactment of
“My Grampa Bob’s Massive Stroke” using Lady Clairol™.

2:04 pm February, 21 DarkSock said...

Jimmy’s mom proudly hugged him for winning the Special Olympics Science Fair with his reenactment of “Fat Douche Abusing Home Hair Coloring Products”, using Lady Clairol™.

2:05 pm February, 21 DarkSock said...

Being on a restrictive budget, Bobby resorted to buying his Andy Warhol Licensed Toupee™ one square inch at a time.

2:17 pm February, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Little known fact: Kennedy was the first U.S. president to use The Flying Spaghetti Monster to make all his important decisions (Bay of Pigs, Cuban Missile Crisis, Vietnam, how to kill Marilyn Monroe, etc.).

3:23 pm February, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This picture belongs on the web site, “Two People That Nobody Would Fucc.”

3:26 pm February, 21 Wheezer said...

Wow, that Jimmy Kimmel…..really can’t pull any tail.

3:35 pm February, 21 Wheezer said...

COME AT ME, BRO…..literally…..
.
“You’ll have as much zizz as a stallion for a week afterwards.”
.
That question is now answered on a couple of different levels.

3:37 pm February, 21 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

This girl is real world hott. This guy is real world pudd.

3:42 pm February, 21 Blind Squirrel said...

How do you even begin to describe this haircut to your barber?

Head Wound Bag: “I want a crew cut mixed with a 12.7% portion of Flock of Seagulls. Do you think you can swing that, Andre?”

Andre: “No problem.”

3:58 pm February, 21 Wedgie said...

Turnip ‘do. F.F.A.’s answer to ‘do sculpture. You go, future farmer.

4:09 pm February, 21 Foxy Mocksy said...

@ONETRUEDOUCHE 1:46p, you nailed it buddy. Great pic comparison. Totally forgot about that movie and that scene.

4:43 pm February, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Wheezer 3:35
.
I just read that and I think the author meant to say Zyyzzz either way it’s just wrong.

4:54 pm February, 21 Flyteeth said...

THAT FAGOATH HA NO FUCCEN TARMAL AND NO LADY FUCCEN CLAIROL! FUCCNE TM!

5:30 pm February, 21 Mr. White said...

Related story: I was at Trader Joe’s this weekend, buying chocolate chip cookies and coffee. When I got in the checkout line, I was behind an elderly woman with…unusual hair. She had thinning, grayish/whitish/yellowing hair you’d expect of someone in advanced age. That was what was on the sides of her head, anyway. On the top? A thick ponytail of dark brown/red hair erupting from the very center of her head. It was one of the strangest things I’ve seen in a while, at least in terms of personal grooming. Why would you cut off your granddaughter’s ponytail in her sleep and then glue it onto your own head? I mean, come on, we all get older and uglier. Try to go there with some grace.
.
Everybody was starting at her, and this is a Trader Joe’s that employs a man who clearly had half of his face blown off in some godforsaken U.S. war. (Nice guy, though.) You could tell people felt bad…until she started cussing out the checker over an alleged mishandling some free trade, organic, cruety-free, shade-grown spaghetti sauce. Or something. But in that moment of bitchiness, all of us in the store were relieved–we could stare and mock in uour heads all we wanted. Because she was a bitch.
.
This guy’s hair kind of reminds me of that bitchy old granddaughter ponytail assaulter.

8:27 pm February, 21 DarkSock said...

@Wheezer 3:35
.
Nowadays a body has to go through a 10 minute registration ordeal just to add “I peed in a horse once” to a comment thread. Dammit….t’aint worth it.
.
I did get a response once from a moderator from the LA Times actually email me back saying “You KNOW we’re not going to print that….”
.
It’s a fair cop.

8:29 pm February, 21 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Brilliant! And no, 48 years is not too soon.

8:44 pm February, 21 Wheezer said...

Those bastards are on to you, ‘Sock. Stand up for your fuccen free speech rights, damnit! If they can let Snooki write a book, then you need to get as MAD AS HELL…..
.
(Everyone knew where that one was going, right?)

9:25 pm February, 21 Fatness said...

@Wheezer 3:35, apparently the gods are not pleased…
http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/02/22/new.zealand.earthquake/

9:54 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

Shaddup Mr. White. This is not the website for novels!!

9:54 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

I’m back bitches. Get some.

9:55 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

Is this Ben’s standby in “There’s something about Mary?”

9:55 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

Did she just squirt on his head?

9:56 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

What is with claw-hand? I usually like my chicks to have smaller fingers than me… Skeletor begone!!

9:57 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

Society is lost if this semi-decent girl is hugging the fry-guy… Unless she likes them unsalted.

9:59 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

“Hang on Kentucky. Lemme snap a pic because this shit is never gonna happen in Nebraska!!”

10:00 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

“OMG you’re so hot!!! 2 Live Crew is gonna be soooo jealous!!”

10:01 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

No doubt this dude passed out and she tried to pull for a corn cob….

10:01 pm February, 21 VegasAntiDouche said...

Fuck it. My shit wasn’t funny. Just shave your balls dude… Seriously!!

11:48 pm February, 21 Motorcycle Parts said...

Jimmy’s mom proudly hugged him for winning the Special Olympics Science Fair along with his reenactment of.

6:28 am February, 22 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

I bet lemur-eyed Tricia is real, real proud to be seen in public with this dope.

6:41 am February, 22 DarkSock said...

@ VegasAntiDouche:
.
Plinky…?

9:01 am February, 22 DarkSock said...

Wheatstalk’s half brother sure can pull the hotts.

10:57 am February, 22 I R A Darth Aggie said...

So long as her name isn’t Mary Jo, it isn’t too soon…

12:21 pm February, 22 skrag2112 said...

Paging Mr Oswald. Would Mr Oswald please report to the snipers perch.

12:24 pm February, 22 The great Bagdini said...

What the fuck, seriously.

2:43 pm February, 22 Mr. Biggs said...

It’s never too soon. Lincoln, I’m looking in your direction.

10:11 pm February, 22 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Uh, oh, hmmmm. Just because a tasteless douchebag makes an idiot of himself by weirdly emphasizing his naturally occurring white-hair-amid-the-black-sea (a la Jay Leno for one, whose own has turned gray now), and we do mock the same idiocy; does not really excuse that tasteless title “Kennedy Head Wound Bag.” (and I’ve never been an admirerer of the Kennedys)
No tarmal for you, DB1. At least for a spell.

1:36 pm February, 23 Stephanie said...

His math is this: when you’re already super ugly,add more ugly.

1:37 pm February, 23 Stephanie said...

She loves the “special people”.

12:13 am February, 26 Andy said...

I don’t like flock of seagulls but I can see that she does.

Leave a Reply

What is 15 + 5 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)