Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Ole’ Lick Gesturer

If there’s one thing Sheyen Kim learned in her five years since moving to the States from Korea, it’s that “Contract Killers” keep it real by proving their “gangsta” cred. With bloodstained gun marks on their shorts.

And licky facial gestures while giving backrubs that suggest they are cunning linguists.

Because that’s how Vegas Gangstas role. As far as Sheyen Kim knows.

# posted by douchebag1
7:11 am February, 8 DarkSock said...

Stevie learned a hard lesson about giving back rubs when Aunt Flo was in town.

7:12 am February, 8 DarkSock said...

Stevie learned a hard lesson about sitting on his woman’s back during the 2nd trimester.
.
.
.
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What?

7:13 am February, 8 DarkSock said...

The Hind-Lick maneuver: you’re doing it wrong.

7:13 am February, 8 jonezy said...

she’s got 3 day’s worth of party bracelets on her arm….
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she’s a whobag jumpoff

7:13 am February, 8 DarkSock said...

Contract Killer?
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.
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Mr. Scrotato Head?

7:19 am February, 8 Deltus said...

He’s so classy, he didn’t even bother to get off her when he peed himself.

7:22 am February, 8 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Cunning linguist indeed: his English is probably on a par with that of the estimable Donkey Douche.

7:37 am February, 8 jonezy said...

He’s definitely contracted, which explains the blood stains seeping from his genitalia

7:56 am February, 8 Charles Whitman's Ghost said...

Nice collection of sippee cups they got going there. They’ll look real nice arranged on top of the kitchen cabinets with the empty Goose and Patron bottles.

8:06 am February, 8 Mr. White said...

I’m pretty sure the blood spatters are from when Sheyen’s parents came upon the scene and then killed themselves.

8:20 am February, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Unbeknownst to Steve the Idiotard this was not the way to ask if Sheyen Kim if she had a stamp in Korean. Later that day Steve the Idiotard was kidnapped and became the main course for the state dinner Kim Jong Il was having that night.

8:28 am February, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So you say you’ve never seen a blond in a bikini wearing a tiger mask get molested by a Yankee Doodle playing trombonist? Well, wait no more.

8:56 am February, 8 Captain Garanichode said...

She should be the one on top Prick-nozzle !

8:59 am February, 8 Deltus said...

Dr BHD, thanks for that. Them were some real nice cans on her.

8:59 am February, 8 Captain Garanichode said...

Fresh from the kill, Lava Lamp Larry threatens Sheyen Kim that she is “NEXT”…

9:01 am February, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Contract Killer polishes his fangs AND lets out a wolf whistle in anticipation of the vampire overbite.

9:03 am February, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

This isn’t exactly the kind of heat Sheyen Kim was anticipating when she lay in the Vegas sun, but hey, who knew crotch rot gave off so much compostable energy?

9:25 am February, 8 Tony Ventresca said...

You’re doing it wrong, bub. That’s how you mount your boyfriend, not your girlfriend. But not to worry, you’ll have to get up soon as girlie has already drunk two or three litres of whatever and will have to pee (again) and then you can get the position right.

9:34 am February, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

The look of disillusionment and despair on the Asian guys face sitting in background in left of picture says it all. Poor bastard!!!

9:53 am February, 8 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Is he trying to screw her? ur attempt? EPIC FAIL.

9:55 am February, 8 Mr. White said...

@doc bunsen
Not since discovering Tonetta has a Youtube video so profoundly impacted my life.
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BTW, the Tonetta video I linked to above, in my humble opinion, transcends almost everything I’ve seen from him. Seriously.

10:09 am February, 8 Luis Douchuel said...

Mr. White
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You just taught me a lesson. Never click on a Mr. White link.

10:26 am February, 8 Anonymous said...

Goodbye one and all. Today, I end my life. It’s the only way to ensure that I will never click on or have to endure the Tonetta nightmares ever again.

10:39 am February, 8 Mr. Biggs said...

OH HAHA HE’S HINTING ABOUT LICKING HER VAGINA. Oh those crazy Vegas pool clowns. Such debonair humor, and so iconoclastic. Thank you for shattering all those inhibitions we have about sex.

10:50 am February, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Quick, I need some of that drink. I got a TON of my boyfriend’s thatch stuck on my tongue and it’s making it hard to swallow!”

11:09 am February, 8 Anonymous said...

I’m back from the ledge. Tonetta is the BEST!!

I went poo poo!!

11:28 am February, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He looks like a small Pumpy. But Pumpy would crush anyone doing the vag lick sign. Korean in back left is puking at the sight.

4:54 pm February, 8 Guid is Good said...

Stir fried dog and the Hyundai assembly line would be looking pretty good right about now, eh Sheyen Kim?

6:17 pm February, 8 Medusa Oblongata said...

I need a Valtrex after looking at this pic.

8:50 pm February, 8 Stephanie said...

Classy dude. Has to make vagina mouth in front of his friends? Or was he making some other gesture for a man?

8:41 am February, 9 Scroteophobic said...

I think he is more contact killer than contract killer

12:18 pm February, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

Like he would even know how to eat pussy. It’s an art form, son.

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