Friday, February 4, 2011

Winged Shirts and Melon Salutations

Timmy’s a pudwack, nothing more. A stage-1 violation for the shirt, which is only an infraction in the state of California (and not a misdemeanor) lets him off easy.

Melanie counters any nihilist dread by offering us hope, sunrises and ice cream sandwich lunch tray gnaw through the proud display of two firm yet supple inspirational counter-arguments to any feelings of dread regarding the inevitable corporeal decay and eventual death we all face.

In the form of gazangagongs.

# posted by douchebag1
11:21 am February, 4 Sal Governale said...

Super hot. She looks like Mary Mccormack

11:21 am February, 4 DarkSock said...

That “V” at his neck is gayer than an Elton John shaped butt plug. He needs to be beaten with a dead cat until he renounces metrosexuality.
.
I’d like her “V” at my neck.

11:23 am February, 4 Bag A said...

Har! Gotta love all those people behind them checking out her firm, tasty hind quarters….

11:33 am February, 4 Wheezer said...

A plain t-shirt would earn him a full-on notta pass and a “Go in peace.” He seems to be genuinely pleased to be in her presence.
.
A plain t-shirt would also help that fucknut in the back left with no shirt…..inside what does appear to be an eating establishment of some kind. Asshole.

11:35 am February, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

My only complaint is that clearly that zipper is not meant to be zipped up so high. Actually, I think that dress is meant to be worn open.

11:36 am February, 4 Mr. White said...

Oh, I think he’s a bit more than a pudwack, DB1. If sparkly eagle V-neck shirts aren’t worthy of full douche, then I don’t know what we’re doing here.
.
A dress with a zipper all the way down the front suggests a certain sluttaciousness.
.
And I’m not saying that as a criticism.
.
In 5-10 years, she’ll be that junior high girl’s gym teacher who insists that all the girls parade past her at the end of class so she can verify by touch that they showered.
.
That is also not necessarily a criticism, depending on how she takes care of herself.

11:38 am February, 4 Sal Governale said...

I don’t think he is that bad. Those types of shirts are less douchey in Eastern Europe or Scandinavia where he appears to be from.

11:40 am February, 4 Sal Governale said...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/33baa3fa18/charlie-goes-america-all-over-everybodys-ass-from-velcrocity

His shirt reminds me of that

11:41 am February, 4 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

^ We can only hope

11:46 am February, 4 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Zipper dress is full-on chubby for me. With that shirt and the 6 pound watch and the fact that he is surrounded by other obvious bags, no pass for him. Guilt by bagssociation.

11:52 am February, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Darksock 11:21
.
That V is gayer than Perez Hilton’s BeDazzler™.

11:54 am February, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

What guy? All I see is a dirty chick that will take it 4 ways and likes gagging on cocck German style.

11:56 am February, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

That V is gayer than a Desperate Housewives marathon.

11:58 am February, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That V neck shirt is gayer than the black guy from the cast of Designing Women.
.
http://cdn.hometheaterforum.com/9/93/935b19ca_htf_imgcache_42154.jpeg

12:00 pm February, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The only thing gayer than that V neck shirt is this;
http://www.gbmnews.com/News_Photos/110407/Mr_Gay_2008.jpg

12:02 pm February, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

That V is gayer than eating kielbasa at RuPaul’s Miss Teen USA tailgate party.

12:04 pm February, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ DoucheyWallnuts 12:00
.
Please. Lose the sash and that’s just Michael Phelps posing with fans. V neck win.

12:07 pm February, 4 Deltus said...

That V is gayer than cum on a mustache.

12:07 pm February, 4 Deltus said...

That V is gayer than the councellors at Catholic School Bible Camp.

12:07 pm February, 4 Deltus said...

That V is gayer than Richard Simmons’ underpants.

12:08 pm February, 4 Sal Governale said...

If wearing that T shirt helped me get that girl, I would do it.

12:09 pm February, 4 Deltus said...

That V is gayer than the crowd at a Liza Minelli concert.

12:11 pm February, 4 Deltus said...

BTW, it’s not just the shirt. He’s got a Six Pound Watch. No notta from me. But Stage 1 only. He’s smiling because he realizes the extreme quality that he’s snogging. She, methinks, is a Tier 1 hott that shags like a Tier 2. VERY rare.

12:15 pm February, 4 Shish_kebag said...

That V-neck is Gayer then 1 girl 5 gays on MTV… By The Way I love the melons… but Right, this dress is meant to be worn open…

12:16 pm February, 4 Sal Governale said...

That watch doesn’t seem douchey either. That is what a man’s watch looks like. would you prefer a swatch? or a calculator watch? Come on now, I know this site is overly judgemental but that is a normal mans watch

12:18 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

I was about to end it all, but then Melanie’s sweet gargonzolas made be put down the rat posion. Oh wait, boobs do nothing for me, I guess I’m going have to find something else to live for. Hmmm, making fun of the white turd pictured will tide me over for while.
.
Timmy, you have a nice smile, why did you ruin by giving us the glitter bird. I really don’t have much vitrol to spit your way other than that. Have a good day, and for the love of all that is holy please schtup your girlfriend. Never stop schtupping your girlfriend. Or she’ll end up undersexed and angry and will resort to putting people down electronically. And then she’ll get a on-line troll. And that’s when things will go from hecksa lame to hellsa lame. Promise me Timmy, promise me you’ll stick it to her real good. I don’t want anyone else to have to endure what I’ve had to this past year and 3 months.

12:25 pm February, 4 wonderdouche twin said...

She is a dead ringer for Nicole Eggert.
.
He is a dead ringer for Elton John’s cock ring.
.
He also appears to be photo’d at the end of saying “What’s up Bra?”

12:26 pm February, 4 DarkSock said...

That V is gayer than Lance Bass’s half-finished appletini.

12:30 pm February, 4 tbd said...

Did you guys know that the gay little dance that DB’s do was originally created by the gang CRIPS?

12:32 pm February, 4 DarkSock said...

That “V” is gayer than getting an involuntary erection during a Shake Weight for Men™ commercial.

12:34 pm February, 4 DarkSock said...

That “V” is gayer than a normal man’s watch.

12:39 pm February, 4 DarkSock said...

Sandy posed smiling and oblivious for the camera. However, the rest of the stunned guests were very aware of Sandy’s forgotten pony-tail butt plug.

12:50 pm February, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

What go well with Melons on a Friday? juicy delicious ass pear of course. Shouldn’t be long now.

1:13 pm February, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Sal Governale 12:08
.
(sigh)
.
yeah, me too.

1:16 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Evil Enterprises, so effing jealous man, you have no idea. Holla.

1:17 pm February, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

Ah.
.
I see we’re receiving transmissions from Planet SquirrelFuck Crazy today.

1:37 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Evil Enterprises, I don’t think killing an orphan and subsequently peeing in his mouth will win you the world. But I’ve never tried it so what do I know. What would killing a little Euopean orphan a la Oliver Twist win you? More porridge? That’s awesome that you win 100% of the time. What’s your secret? Is it strictly human sacrifices? I’m dealing with your situation E.E. I hope they’ve invented Cheetos in your realm, because that would suck for one born to prosperity not to have access to those.

1:42 pm February, 4 Deltus said...

Nothing sociopathic about that at all.

1:52 pm February, 4 Anonymous said...

RE: Evil Enterprises. Looks like Stackhouse has finally fulfilled his destiny.

1:53 pm February, 4 soy bomb said...

RE: Evil Enterprises. Looks like Stackhouse has finally fulfilled his destiny.

1:54 pm February, 4 jm said...

Nice shirt. Do they sell any men’s clothes at that store?

2:07 pm February, 4 Evil Enterprises said...

im addicted to power like crystal meth, it is gooooood it feels good, iam better zen u no doubt, it feels good to be a winner, to look at you in 2nd place or lower, it feels good to conquer fools like you, iam better zen you no doubt, i excel wer god fails, musnt foooorrggggeeeetttt.

2:08 pm February, 4 Crazed Aborigine said...

He Just Bangs Bitches And Drinks ass-rammed Stackhouse one deep-fried poultry fogged night, and nine months later Evil Enterprises, king of his own realm, was born? Who knew.

And, boobies. An ex-girfriend of mine once wore almost that same dress, only in black, to a nightclub with me. Almost 20 years later the memory still makes me grin like Timmy. Thanks, DB1

2:13 pm February, 4 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Top notch hooters. I will offer WD-40 to help move the zipper on the dress.

2:15 pm February, 4 Wedgie said...

Love that zipper front dress. EZ off. Makes a statement.
So does his shirt, but other than poor sartorial taste I grant a notta. Magnanimous fuccer, ain’t I?

2:45 pm February, 4 Anonymous said...

Hall of Hott for Melony’s two Melons.

3:06 pm February, 4 I R A Darth Aggie said...

May I unzip you, madam?

5:24 pm February, 4 DarkSock said...

Ahhh, yes. Time to fire up the admin page and start pecking the “spam” button.

9:03 pm February, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Gotta give ’em both credit for their tighty whities, they make a smiling pair.

10:01 pm February, 4 Mr. Biggs said...

The punchline? Ever since her unicorn filled childhood, Melanie’s beendreaming of a man who would speak DB1’s poetic verse to her, while pampering her with dodo-feather tickles. Then this guy shows up and jizzes all over everything.

10:03 pm February, 4 Mr. Biggs said...

And yeah, I agree v-neck is a minimum stage-2, even in the liberal state of CA.

10:24 pm February, 4 Just an Ordinary Man said...

Why do you guys honestly insult men and women you know nothing about? You’re all just basing your attacks on the assumption that these men are the same guys who beat on you in high school which is actually usually the opposite of what occurs. Typically, the men that are this dedicated to aesthetics were scrawny or overweight during their adolescence and this is their way of overcompensating for the imbalance of the social life in public school.

You people are pitiful and pathetic for insulting them. You’re also most likely envious and let’s not forget that even if half of what they are wearing is “gayer than Elton Jon”, they’re still looked up upon in comparison to you.

5:51 am February, 5 mr.reeve said...

Boobage!!
And maybe a HoH candidate.

8:38 am February, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

@troll me 11:08p, Up late again I see. Good eye though, I do have a weakness for blondes. And I do mean weakness. Like I can’t resist them.

9:12 am February, 5 DarkSock said...

Ordinary Man:
.
You misspelled “Elton Jon”.
.
There are two things I cannot abide by in this world: Homophobes, and fags that can’t spell.

9:14 am February, 5 DarkSock said...

And we do not “honestly insult men and women” we know nothing about. We insult them nefariously, obsequiously, and deceitfully.
.
Nice avatar, pedophile.

10:06 am February, 5 Borat said...

I have to agree with Ordinary man. Mocking the Jersey Shore type people is funny but this guy for example did nothign to deserve this vitriolic nonsense. Yeah the guy has a stupid shirt. So what? He seems to be enjoying life and has a hot lady friend. Good for him.

It seems like a lot of the posters here don’t wear hair gel or Ed Hardy. So no outward signs of douche. But you seem to be really douchey on the inside.

    2:49 pm February, 5 DarkSock said...

    I am red on the inside, Bore-hat.

2:26 pm February, 5 soy bomb said...

@Ordinary Man: SOMEone’s got to rip choad, and since I don’t see you doing it, we’ve all had to carry your weight. Thanks a lot, freeloader.

3:11 pm February, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

Just an Ordinary Man with a baby face for an avatar. Nothin weird about that. Happens all the time. Tons of baby avatars on this thing. But yeah O.M. not all the people pictured deserve a pooty hole tearing, but some do. So until you can shut this place down with your baby army, this is pretty much how this place rolls.
.
And Dad, if this is you, I told both you and Ma specifically that if you want to talk to me on here the names HAVE GOT to be more creative. Also I have a troll, so if you didn’t know that I sort of come across as a real slut sometimes. But you guys are used to the other crazy stuff I say so no worries there.

3:48 pm February, 5 Anonymous said...

I’m tempted to give this guy a pass…yeah he’s wearing the shirt and big watch, but he seems so damn nice…so happy…Hell, I would too if I was dating that gorgeous real-world hott.

I say he gets a pass….for now. He requires close monitoring for any growth of the douche virus.

3:50 pm February, 5 Musicman said...

I give this guy a pass…Despite the shirt he seems so damn nice. I would be smiling too if I was pounding that real world blond bunny hott.

However, he requires close monitoring in case if he has any growth of the douche virus.

3:57 pm February, 5 Stephanie said...

And they’re wearing white after Labor Day?
What the hell do those shirts mean? Eagle wings? Angel wings? What a dumb trend. If it’s at the mall, they will just buy anything,right? STOOOOOOOPID.

1:10 am February, 6 Mr. Biggs said...

They do have carefully matching cleavage. So I gotta give them props for that.

1:12 am February, 6 Mr. Biggs said...

Honestly I don’t see why trolls keep coming on this site and hatten on a bunch of good natured, jolly people having fun with web pics. They must all be gay virgin 40 year olds living in their momma’s basement. On snap, can I throw an insult.

3:00 pm February, 6 Doocharoni said...

Ugly shirt, yes. But not a douche. No douche face or bling. Normal hair. No tats… just don’t see it.

10:46 am February, 7 Captain Garanichode said...

He’s holding his piece, I’m holding hers

12:37 pm September, 15 yogesh kumar said...

Very hot pic . SO Hot

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