Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Asswipes in Affliction Shirts With White Belts

Still out there.

Still forcing women to pose in pseudo-erotic positions in public places to deal with the massive insecurity of a fractured and insecure psyche of a semi-working peen.

# posted by douchebag1
4:19 pm March, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Maybe he got the T at the mission he is staying in until Dad coughs up the support payments. They look decent, maybe he’s OK.
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Rev.Chad apologizes for this statement and asserts that he is not a lefty, pinko, polak, commie, Jew. I just think we don’t know enough from the shirt and flex alone. He could have an involuntary erectile reverse adrenaline flow, which means that as soon as his boner drops by 98.3% all bloodflow is transferred to the Douccus Triceptifan muscles.

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I is drunk and stoned on my illegal shit Sons. Fuck Psychiatrists. Who are they to tell me I’m a anxiety ridden and not give me a new prescription. Son.

4:33 pm March, 1 soy bomb said...

I’d like to hear more from the bar babe in the rear.
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This douche seems like he’s just going through the motions: the Affliction, the white belt/watch douche combo, etc. He knows what he’s supposed to be wearing, but his heart just isn’t that into it. Which makes this scene even more depressing.
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Saved only by the bar babe in the rear.

4:36 pm March, 1 Anally-impregnated-poop-baby said...

Fight the power Rev Chad. If this is pseudo eroticism I’d hate to see what full blown erotic looks like. This douche is doing the weirdest pose ever. And really ladies? You agreed to this? Ah yes, I see some boozeahol in the back. That explains everything.

4:37 pm March, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m guessing the he really believes he is the very model of a modern major general and that after Capt. Jack Sparrow captures him and lashes him to his mainsail that he will be able to resist the siren songs of these two Harpies but not before firmly affixing his white pleather belt around his neck for the auto-erotic asphyxiation that will follow. Either that or he hasn’t evolved enough to realize that he doesn’t need to club wimmen on the back to get them to bend over and laugh at his nearly non-existent peen. Hell, they’ll do that for free.

4:37 pm March, 1 Mr. White said...

I would use my best scissors to gently cut Asian Librarian’s hair into a sexy bob, freeing her from the Fist of Douche. Then I’d bury the scissors 4 inches deep into what he calls his frontal cortex (or more likely, what he’d call his “head goo”) and leave him slightly dumber than before, but 100% more paralyzed.
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Then Asian Librarian and I would have furious hate-sex in the growing pool of his blood.
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What?

4:59 pm March, 1 Et Tu Douche? said...

I like this bar, a lot!!!. Hott bar maiden with the not so subtle jugs reveal I see you but just as important I like the trash can lid dangling in the background. Which If I’m not mistaken is nicknamed the “Santino” to be only used Corleone style on Doucheclowns such as asswipe Mcgee here.
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Hmmm those are 2 gnaw worthy Hotts that are in definite need of rescuing.

5:00 pm March, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

White watchband = auto douche (and then some)
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Something very unnatural and disturbing about the closed fisted arm around the shoulders too. At best some anger issues at work, more likely his apartment is filled with notebooks describing his plans to kidnap the Kardashians and upholster his lay-z-boy with their tanned skins.

5:12 pm March, 1 soy bomb said...

Has anyone noticed Charlie Sheen goin’ bat-sh*t awesome recently? It’s the best thing on the Internet right now.

5:42 pm March, 1 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ Soy Bomb re: Sheen, this was a good one
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“The run I was on made Sinatra, Jagger, Richards, all the others look like droopy-eyed, armless children. It was epic.”

5:43 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

This goon’s daily routine starts with eating a bunch of bananas and flinging his shit at the neighbor that plays the Rolling Stones ’til all hours of the night, then a frantic swing through tree branches followed by chest beating and bellowing at the sun.
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Just call me , “Vin Goodall”

5:56 pm March, 1 soy bomb said...

“Most of the time- and this includes naps- I’m an F-18.”
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-C. Sheen
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http://livethesheendream.com/

5:57 pm March, 1 Thomas Jefferson said...

@soy bomb 5:12p, I liked when he called me a pussy. What a rube. Charlie Sheen makes Ben Franklin look like less of an asshole, and that’s hard to do! Now, I’m off to find me some tiger’s blood to shoot between my toes. Good evening, Gentleman.

6:08 pm March, 1 Thomas Jefferson said...

And hmmm, I wish there was a way I could tell Charlie to work Seadoos into one of his rants. Perhaps I’ll Twitter him, using my Tweeter. After a thorough wig styling of course. I mean I am Thomas Jefferson after all. Gots to look my best for the sistahs. Me a pussy? I’d like to see Sheen pull the kind of chocolate goddess tail I nail on a fortnightly basis, Again good evening gentle people. Jefferson out.

6:09 pm March, 1 Mr. White said...

@soy bomb
I’m torn between hoping that Sheen’s shtick is all some elaborate performance art piece, and hoping that we’re witnessing a celebrity unravel and sink into the depths of despair right in front of our eyes. I’m not sure which of those makes me a bad person.

6:13 pm March, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

Look at those tightly balled fists resting tensely on the backs of their necks; his arms terse, his expression, strained. He can barely contain his disgust at touching these women. He senses Arturo behind him, his back turned, pretending he doesn’t care anymore. Oh, why? Why can’t this love be real and free?

6:17 pm March, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

Dear Charlie Sheen,
While I no longer drink or do drugs, I beg to be invited to one of your weekend meltdowns. I have had hot fantasies about you and your leather jacket since I first saw you in Ferris Bueller’s day off. How oddly prophetic that role was. Then came Major League, with your bespectacled bad-boy that set my nubile bits aflame. And as you age and ripen into a copy of your father, who is also smokingly hot in his own right, I ask you this: Please, please wear me like a pair of handcuffs and then coat me in a glaze of your man-butter. I will bring donuts.

6:18 pm March, 1 soy bomb said...

@Mr. White,
Unlike Joaquin Phoenix’s faked, staged breakdown, like you I’m afraid/delighted that this is all too real.

6:39 pm March, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@medusa
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He will only forget about you as the last image of you exits his beautiful home. He’s a warlock tiger piloting an F18. His only speed is go. And bi-winning.

7:16 pm March, 1 Wedgie said...

Rev Chad K is Charlie Sheen’s alter ego.
As for the white belted ass clown above, he has managed to ruin yet another delightfully sapphic moment that was about to occur. Thanks, asswipe….we really wouldn’t have wanted to see them making out with each other anyway.
Dick.

7:42 pm March, 1 Kennedy Smith said...

White belts? I didn’t realize Chess King was still open.

Dittoes on the girl in the background, soy bomb.

8:01 pm March, 1 Andy C said...

Affliction seems adept, as after leaving the club that night they were both struck down with a case of dibillitating shingles.

8:09 pm March, 1 banana hammock said...

Too much going on with that silk-screen… The only chicks into skull’s are the kind who just may sodomize said suitor with a dry Renuzit ® “Simply Vanilla” canister, then wait for rectal prolapse then start again from the beginning.

8:53 pm March, 1 ehcuodouche said...

I’m sorry. I was distracted by the bartendress with the rack. What was this picture of again?

8:55 pm March, 1 ehcuodouche said...

As much as I like asian librarian hotts…

Her chin is so big I landed my plane on it.

8:55 pm March, 1 ehcuodouche said...

Her chin is so big it gives Jay Leno chinis envy.

8:56 pm March, 1 ehcuodouche said...

Her chin is so big she freelances as a Pez dispenser.

8:57 pm March, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

If he’s old enough to be in a bar, he’s too old to be wearing this tee-shirt.
Which is the point of HCwDB: men who never grow up.

9:09 pm March, 1 ehcuodouche said...

Her chin is so big it knocked down Samurai Scrote in the first round. (SS won by decision).

9:52 pm March, 1 Stephanie said...

He never gets girls that close to his weenie without holding them down.

10:00 pm March, 1 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

This Douchebag is sooooo 2008. And misogyny is not an affliction, it’ a choice.

10:16 pm March, 1 tall guy said...

Points for the white belt/whitewatch combo. They’re deducted from his total of 10%. Asian chinny-chin-chin librarian hott isn’t bad. Quite a jaw on her though.

7:31 am March, 2 Steve L. said...

this is the most afflicted Afflictionbag yet.

7:47 am March, 2 Claude Douchenbagger said...

This guy is suck a dimwod douche I can’t think of anything to say.

8:20 am March, 2 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Laughing at the spectacle, ladies? Yes, we’re laughing too.

9:05 am March, 2 dbBen said...

“*giggle*…we gave up at life!”

10:02 am March, 2 Wheezer said...

A tri-hottie pic, and one serves drinks? Dreams do come true, but then there’s the nightmare of choadputz to mar the fuccen shot…..

1:44 am March, 3 Sir David Douchenborough said...

That poor gentleman has affixed his gym time as the crucible for his social and people skills. His only frame of reference for interacting with the outside world is the gym environment. Why, the only why he knows how to pose is to mimic some of his ‘hardcore’ routines. “Check out it ladies, this what I call ‘Starting a lateral raise.’ I am ready to take a picture.”

3:34 am March, 3 psd-to-xhtml said...

He knows what he is supposed to be wearing, but his heart isn’t that in to it. Which makes this scene even more depressing.
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