Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Caption Omar’s Thought

“Is the shortest distance between two points still a line in a four dimensional curved universe? And why is there a red bump on my peepee?”

# posted by douchebag1
9:24 am March, 30 DarkSock said...

*sniff*-*sniff*….
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“Yep, you’re pregnant.”

9:25 am March, 30 DarkSock said...

Due to the removal of his upper C2 through C7 vertebrae Todd found it necessary to support his head at all times.

9:26 am March, 30 DarkSock said...

Silence of the Mamms

9:31 am March, 30 Mr. White said...

“I’m recreating an iconic Miles Davis photo to show the relevance of bebop in a post-modern world and shit.”

9:51 am March, 30 DarkSock said...

There goes Mark, shooting his mouth off again

9:52 am March, 30 DarkSock said...

Mark shows Lisa proper fellatio technique, using a scale-correct model of his penis.

10:06 am March, 30 UFO Destroyers said...

“I wonder if she believes I got the hep C from my tattoo needles?”

10:06 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

Pinocchio finally figured out a way to keep his nose from growing every time he lied about his penis size.

10:07 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

Elmer prepared to prove the naysayers wrong when they challenged his ability to tickle his brain through his nose.

10:08 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

“Groupies at the Booger Picking Championships are the best,” surmised the jubilant Roscoe.

10:09 am March, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Crucial!
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What? Did you just get fired or something?

10:09 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

If everyone would just hush up, they could actually hear the gerbil rounding the final bend in my ascending colon.

10:10 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

Having run out of blow hours earlier, Thurmond resorted to snorting his fingers to maintain that righteous buzz.

10:11 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

@Scrotato Head,
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Just a brief window of freedom baybee!

10:11 am March, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

As the blood flowed freely from his prolapsed anus, Calvin could only sit and ponder, “Did I at at Wendys TWICE yesterday? Hmmmm.”

10:12 am March, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Crucial
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Oh, so you just got temporarily laid off. Bully for you!

10:16 am March, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

It’s pretty easy. First you nibble at the shaft, brushing your lips against it, licking it up and down furtively, like a popsicle that’s melting and you don’t want any of it to drip on your hands. Then you grab it firmly at the base before wrapping your lips around th- ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION!? I’m not going to show this to you again!

10:21 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

No layoff, just a brief reprieve from the IT Nazi’s that took over here a few months back. I still lurk and read all you guys when I get the chance. Brings a smile to my face every time.

10:23 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

… and this little piggy went all the way to its colonic home.

10:24 am March, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Ah, good. The final round of “Guess what I just in” is still going on. This douche never misses. It’s like he’s a savant or something. Then again maybe it is because Kandee somehow manages to get the donkey to blow a second load just after lunch.

10:25 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

After failing to come up with the money to cover his bookie for the fifth week in a row, Artie kissed his index finger goodbye.

10:25 am March, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Goddamn it. The game is “Guess What I just SAT in”

10:26 am March, 30 tall guy said...

“Ssshhh! Don’t tell anyone, but I’m have a sex change op tomorrow”

10:26 am March, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Todd always wanted to know what it was like to scratch an itch on the top of his head from the inside. You go son!

10:27 am March, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

I got nothing for Omar however Blondie is kinda a cute and shit.

10:27 am March, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

At the sight of the club photographer, Trent overcame both instinct and three rounds of Red Bull and Vodka, and carefully tucked his kissy lips back into place.

10:28 am March, 30 Crucial Head said...

Shhhhhhh! Be vewy vewy qwiet. My weft shouwder tumor is weady to take its wittle nap.

10:28 am March, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Kandee waits patiently for her next dose of dried protein and sucrose as Todd keeps trying to pick a winner.

10:30 am March, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

What kind of asshole get a tatt of The Wicked Witch of the West on their arm? Oh………..already answered my own question. Keep moving, nothing to see here.

10:31 am March, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

As the bulge grew in his pants in response to Blondie’s firm breats pressing into his side, Omar felt compelled to capture the moment by flailing his finger between his lips and exhalting bub-l-boob-l-buub-l bab-l-boub-l-bibb-l-boob-l!!!!!

10:32 am March, 30 Banana Hammock said...

Crap… finger is stuck again

10:34 am March, 30 Banana Hammock said...

…”smell this, does it smell bad to you?”

10:39 am March, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

With one sniff of his finger, Todd’s memories came flooding back to that sultry summer when he was a groupie for The Village People.

10:42 am March, 30 soy bomb said...

“Shhhh! If you listen very closely, you can actually hear the last shred of dignity peeling away from your soul!”

10:49 am March, 30 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

You all got it wrong… FOR. THE. WIN. I submit…
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“Duh.”

10:53 am March, 30 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I would like to say that for years I’ve used the sentence, “Yeah, I’m pretty smart, and shit.” Has always made me laugh. I think I’m the only one though.

11:09 am March, 30 DarkSock said...

Todd kissed his digit goodbye as he prepared to finger-bang Karen “The Kegel Klamp” Underhill.

11:25 am March, 30 Troy Tempest said...

SSSSHHH! Howard Johnson is moving his bowels!

11:43 am March, 30 bbwolfe said...

((If I do this real careful, I can get the whole string of snot out. That will impress this girl.))

12:05 pm March, 30 Mr. Biggs said...

“Gee, I’d love to join my anarchist biker gang for their bank robbery at 3, but my hair and facial appointment is for exactly the same time! And I made that months in advance so I could get Gunther!”

12:59 pm March, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Shhhh…while I adjust my balls to get my own camel toe just right….

1:01 pm March, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Don’t tell, but Omar enjoyed showing off the white parallel line stitchery of his black jeans seams, as it enhanced the strangulation of his balls underneath.

1:07 pm March, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Omar’s right bicep looked on in horror as his left finger diddled his boogers.

1:21 pm March, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

“I wonder if she knows I was docking with her brother this afternoon…”
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* docking, for the uninitiated.

1:21 pm March, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Hmmmm…..do you suppose she suspects I’m wearing her panties?”

1:22 pm March, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Puddi puddi!”

1:27 pm March, 30 DarkSock said...

“…and accepting tonight’s BCS award for mind scarring links is Mrs. Oblongata…”
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Now if you will excuse me I must expunge my iPhone history and bleach my eyes.

1:31 pm March, 30 massengill said...

I love this guy’s enthusiasm for New Hampshire’s most famous (former) natural rock formation, “The Old Man in Mountain.” Great tattoo. Maybe the Old Man couldn’t hang around the White Mountains forever, but at least he’s “immortalized” for another 25-40 years via ink and bicep.
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Bravo.

1:39 pm March, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Hmmmm, I swear, the guy who did my tattoo said he was even better than Paul Booth.”
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*Paul Booth, for the uninitiated. And this one is ok, ‘Sock, I promise.
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I think only JCVD would even appreciate that. Never mind.

1:41 pm March, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

“SHE’S A MAN, BAY-BEE, YEAH!!”

3:04 pm March, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

You’re an evil woman, Medusa.

4:06 pm March, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Medusa
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You win. I just found out what it was like to vomit all the way from my large intestine. Through my nose. Yeah, it came on that quickly. *blows nose and turds go flying across room*
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@ Darksock
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Do you happen to have the Underhill’s credit card number? I’ll be in cabana #8 awaiting lunch. Because of Medusa.

9:35 am March, 31 joe said...

What thought?

9:36 am March, 31 joe said...

Gets himself every time with the old ‘smell my finger’ gag.

5:26 am April, 4 villas in lanzarote said...

Again, perhaps because Kandee managed to get the donkey to blow another load just after lunch.

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