Thursday, March 17, 2011

Caption This Pic

“Swing Lessons at the Decatur County Ballroom took a turn for the strange when Instructor Brandt introduced his innovative new dance step, ‘The Queasy Stripper.'”

# posted by douchebag1
9:46 am March, 17 Don't_squeeze_The _Douche said...

Owner of West Coast Customs at his night job

9:47 am March, 17 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Oh honey, your tuck just fell out…

10:00 am March, 17 douche bagel said...

wow that sloth can sure pull some tail

10:08 am March, 17 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

The wedding guests look on in horror as Chad tried to consummate the marriage with his rendition of the shirtless guido fist-pump hump dance.

10:10 am March, 17 Guns-N-Douches said...

Groomsman Vinnie and Bridesmaid Domenica brought the Jerz style to the wedding in the Hamptons.

10:14 am March, 17 Worthless said...

A Chippendales groomsman fulfills his dream of tonguing a bridesmaid.

10:16 am March, 17 Freddy said...

Just Awful. Auto-nominate for the weekly. Worst douche so far this year.

10:22 am March, 17 The Minister Scott Stapp said...

There once was a douchebag named Sean.
Who took his shirt off to show brawn.
He stipped down to suspenders.
And went on a bender,
Divorce papers arrived after dawn.,

10:24 am March, 17 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

The spread of crab-infested bridesmaids throughout Nassau and Suffolk Counties caused Chippendales to re-think its wedding planner division.

10:25 am March, 17 The Minister Scott Stapp said...

He wanted to show off his arms,
Mickey thought it would do not much harm.
At a wedding on acid,
His penis went flaccid.
Marina fucked John in the barn.

10:29 am March, 17 The Minister Scott Stapp said...

She wanted a roll in the hay.
A bridesmaid she’s horny all day.
She tried to meet Tony.
Buy he was too bony.
And Angelo here is too gay.

10:38 am March, 17 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

FOX was not pleased with the ratings for ‘Dancing with the Stunned’.

10:39 am March, 17 Geoffrey said...

Shouldn’t have unwrapped the 6’x4′ package from the FedEx carrier.

10:43 am March, 17 BB Wolfe said...

…and suddenly the beast turned on Belle. She tries desperately to pummel him.

10:54 am March, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

It’s tradition in Pennsyltucky for the groom’s unemployed freeloader of a brother to bless the marriage by date raping the maid of honor. It’s consider extraordinarily auspicious if, rather than leaving her blacked-out out in a hotel room with an unnaturally sore ass, he mounts her on the dance floor during the band’s rendition of Mony Mony.

11:02 am March, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

PETA was pleased to see that they had another successful primate release from the MSU research labs when they heard the melodic strains of “Oh, Me So Horny” and brachiating coming from the Kellogg Center before Lenny carried Cynthia to the top of it and started flinging his own poo at anybody wearing maize and blue.

11:06 am March, 17 Et Tu Douche? said...

My big fat guid wedding
.

11:11 am March, 17 fatness said...

Snow White’s ears still ringing from clubbing the night before, she misunderstands when asked to “try on the slipper.”

11:11 am March, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The winner of that night’s wedding raffle, Billy Joe Bobb Stumphumper, gets the chance to add a branch to the long straight line that is the family tree after Darla accidentally wandered into the reception looking for the nearest gas station.

11:12 am March, 17 fatness said...

Shit. That should have been Cinderella. Totally blew the joke. Fucc me.

11:13 am March, 17 Et Tu Douche? said...

In all seriousness i feel bad for the father of the bride who footed the bill for this debacle. Even sadder is the other D-Bag in the background who looks like he can’t wait to get in on the action.
.
“Oh, Me So Horny” and brachiating in the same sentence is shear genius. Doc Bunsen FTW!!!!
.
Son!!!!!!

11:17 am March, 17 Wheezer said...

This is why Desperate Housewives was not made into a reality show.

11:21 am March, 17 Wheezer said...

Cougar Town: “ur doin it rong”

11:23 am March, 17 Crucial Head said...

The rape would end a split second later when Myrna’s invisible bat cracked into the perpetrator’s skull, showering splintered bone and gray matter on the hard pine floor below.

11:24 am March, 17 Crucial Head said...

The nuptial crowd was stunned when Gertrude leapt from the dance floor and pushed a fully mature sea lion out of her gaping womb.

11:26 am March, 17 Crucial Head said...

Though he had felt it come close many times before, this time Mortimer knew that Elsie’s vestigial tail had punctured his scrotum.

11:27 am March, 17 Crucial Head said...

Ever mindful of the guest’s safety and the threat of an imminent melt-down, Mina sacrificed her groin grotto to squelch Wilbur’s fully exposed fuel rod.

11:28 am March, 17 Crucial Head said...

The guests were shocked and appalled when Denny showed up at the wedding sporting his Real Doll Fanny Pack.

11:47 am March, 17 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Taynna complained that Julie had stolen her routine as she watched in horror with her date Chip at the Greater Charelston Area Cotillion. Etty Mae’s College Preparatory and Charm School is seeking applications for a new Head Mistress.

12:16 pm March, 17 Betty Cocker said...

“The Funky Chicken” just gets more X-rated as time goes on.
And CND 10:38a FTW.

12:33 pm March, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The pit crew cheers in the background as Tony and Carla struggle to complete lap 319 of 500 at the Petty wedding but they know this couple will never reach the finish line due to Tony’s faulty crankshaft.

1:09 pm March, 17 Douchebagorean Theorem said...

Douche: “Thunderthighs? They were right”

Hot Chick: “Nice dog collar, you get that at Petsmart?”

1:30 pm March, 17 Blind Squirrel said...

Open Bar: the best and most dangerous words in the English language.

1:40 pm March, 17 Stephanie said...

The new bridal shower planning guide unfortunately includes embarrassing Brandt dog as the “entertainment”,the older ladies weren’t amused.

1:52 pm March, 17 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I hope he’s making that face because someone us choking him telekinetically…

1:54 pm March, 17 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

is^
.
Illiteracy is no laughing matter…

2:08 pm March, 17 The Dude said...

This pic really hurts, because I used to be able to go out on the town, minding my own bizznitch, shirtless with dress slacks and a bow tie, and no one paid any attention to me, except the girls at the bridal shop.

2:40 pm March, 17 The Dude said...

If it fits, it ships. Ship it!

2:46 pm March, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So this is how Billy Joel makes ends meet these days.

3:31 pm March, 17 The great Bagdini said...

Please god i hope that is not a wedding, if so shoot them and forever hold your peace.

5:10 pm March, 17 Deltus said...

I think it is a wedding. The tables behind them look weddingish.

5:49 pm March, 17 DarkSock said...

That Gru sure can pull some tail.
qr

5:49 pm March, 17 DarkSock said...

That Lars Ulrich sure can pull some tail.
ewt

5:50 pm March, 17 DarkSock said...

That Tom Sizemore sure can beat some tail.
.
.
Too soon?
weg

5:51 pm March, 17 DarkSock said...

Blue October fans were at first unsure of the band’s new direction into Jazz Dancing.
eqrw

6:02 pm March, 17 DarkSock said...

Crucial Head @ 11:28 pm, btw
.
Still chuckling like a Croatian at a Serbian funeral cortege.

6:03 pm March, 17 DarkSock said...

Unfortunately, Todd’s solution to Linda’s tapeworm problem was raping them.

6:05 pm March, 17 DarkSock said...

The randy couple would later decide that while urethra sex provided the ultimate joy-friction it did not outweigh the guaranteed twin bladder infections that follow.

6:44 pm March, 17 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

When the band struck up “Hang On, I’m Comin’ ” it was only a matter of time….

6:46 pm March, 17 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Coot and Rachel scoot the latest wedding reception fad dance, the Turducken, wherein the chicken in inserted into the duck and both inserted into the turkey trot.

6:48 pm March, 17 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Wait’ll ya see what happened when Phil slipped on a Jordan almond…

6:56 pm March, 17 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

“Going commando” at wedding receptions is the latest dance craze..

6:59 pm March, 17 DarkSock said...

Charlie took advantage of Cindi’s fetish for Menorahs by screwing a candelabra into his scalp goiter.

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