Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Flirting with Champagne Katie

HCwDB of the Week Hott winner Champagne Katie’s threats to prosecute this site resulted in a number of ‘bag hunters seeking her out to reason with her.

Reader Kennedy writes in asking if, while acting as an emirate for the site, hitting on the hott is also okay:

—–
Subject: Please don’t hate me for lovin on Champagne Katie

Or Friending and chatting with her. Think I brought her around to the Bag-huntin lifestyle.

But if you must call me out for doucheitude, don’t use my current FB pic. That’s my sister, man. Family occasion. Please accept this Halloween pic of the classic Cell Cam in Mirror instead.

But mainly hope you’ll give me a nottadouche hall pass and let me go in peace to sin some more.
——

The Douchadox is a powerful force, one in which ‘bag hunter is both attracted to, and repelled by, the Bleeth. Struggle with it, you must, Grasshopper. The decision must be made by you and you alone.

On a related note, reader Oliver Wendell Douche, a real lawyer in Austin, Texas, has agreed to represent HCwDB, pro bono, in the case of “Champagne Katie V. HCwDB. Here is OWD’s official letter of response.

# posted by douchebag1
11:25 am March, 1 Wedgie said...

Beautiful, man. I sure could have used this guy in my divorce.

11:28 am March, 1 Deltus said...

Boss, tell your lawyer I want to have his babies. And I’m a dude, so it’ll have to be anal, but I’ll catch, and I’ll have his anally-impregnated poop-babies. Out of respect for the funny, respect for the awesome. Yes. I’ll have his funny/awesome respect-borne anally-impregnated poop-babies. Cause that’s the way I roll. Son.
.
What, what?
.
Oh, and? Champagne Katie’s friend there is hottie hott hott lather snargle rumpy yumm goodness.

11:33 am March, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The pervert in me likes Katie and her friend. My Jesus- sized cock likes her more. This lawyer is for sure a left-handed Jew. Son.

11:33 am March, 1 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

OWD is so doing my will.

11:34 am March, 1 smackdouche said...

I think a “Pro-Bone-O” joke would be appropriate, but too easy at this juncture.

11:42 am March, 1 Douchble Helix said...

Here’s Kleinman’s daughter. He should be on this site for putting that sweet thing on his website to drum up bid’ness.

http://kleinmanlawfirm.com/the-team/

11:44 am March, 1 Douchble Helix said...

Or maybe that’s his Russian ‘associate’. Either way, he’s not a notta’.

11:46 am March, 1 Wheezer said...

If only his paralegal were wearing librarian glasses…..

11:51 am March, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@OWD^
Will you be doing the case pro bono or pro boner? Seriously, she is top shelf “Most Expensive First Date” material, even if the first words out of her mouth were the start of a threehourrunonsentenceaboutherbodyandhowshe’snothappywithitbut
don’tyouthinkshe’shotdidyouseehermodelmayhemspreadshesexcited
aboutmodelingitspeakstohersoulohlooktheyhavelittleshrimpsonthemenu
Ilovethatdomyheelsmatchthisdressohohohohmusicletsgodance
IlovetheblackeyedpeasIdsodoFergieifIwasaLesbianbuteeuwww
heywhereareyougoing?
.
.
.

11:51 am March, 1 Cheeto Fingerz said...

I usually hate lawyers, but OWD can litigate me anytime. Oh Champagne Katie, if only you spent as much time developing your personality as you do on your hair. XOXO

11:52 am March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Awesome, OWD. Reality is a Bleeth scorned ( and checked out intensely through internet search engines, no nudies dudes, trust me I’d know).
.
Katie and Zzyzz should procreate to make superbabies.

12:01 pm March, 1 Anthony LaBaglia said...

That bacwards elbow thing still always creeps me out though.

12:15 pm March, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I loves me the Ukranian Jew ladies. She is bag-hunter property so we shouldn’t comment about her unless it is the sincerest form. For example: She looks like a nice girl working for her dad, a non-douche and contributor to the cause. Mrs. Chad is a Ukranian Jew as are my daughters. She kind of looks like young Mrs. Kroeger but she doesn’t have a beard. When Mrs. Kroeger shaves I fucle her. Son.What?

12:17 pm March, 1 Cheeto Fingerz said...

@Kennedy, what were you for Halloween? Count Chockula?

12:18 pm March, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I think it would be hilarious to induct her into the HOH.

12:22 pm March, 1 mr.reeve said...

HCwDB gots a Jewish lawyer to take on them hoes just like the Stack does, SON! “Get some”

12:46 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

@ Mr Reeve
.
If you look at the signature, he appears to be left-handed

12:55 pm March, 1 Wedgie said...

His Ukranian associate is fluent in English & Russian, and hopes to master French. Fuck I knew there was a reason I always loved those Ukrainian hotties. Pop for some librarian glasses as part of her “bonus” package. Step up, son.

12:55 pm March, 1 mr.reeve said...

@Vin
Word, Son.
By the way, did you make it to downtown LV? I never did. But I was drunk for 2 whole days. Nothing like paying $10 for all you can drink Busch beer while watching the “Big Game”.

1:12 pm March, 1 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Kennedy, cell cam mirror shots looking like Paul Reubens wearing a puffy shirt, vest and a cape are not helping your cause.
.
@OWD, Right on man thanks for caming to DB1’s defense. Keep Austin Weird Son!!!!
.
Korbel Katies friend has a nice arse and the way she is displaying it along with her smile is enticing. I bet she has a pink range & drives fast in the slow lane.

1:13 pm March, 1 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Man it’s Blethy Boop, she can decorate my lunch box anytime.

1:27 pm March, 1 Kennedy Smith said...

I’m so proud.

1:47 pm March, 1 Geoffrey said...

I would pee on her leg…

1:48 pm March, 1 Kennedy Smith said...

Is emirate really the right word? Not satrap or Viceroy’s Plenipotentiary?

1:51 pm March, 1 Baron Von Goolo said...

Considering how much more exposure she’s getting here than from her modelmayhem page, I would have thought the lawyer would have proposed some sort of after the fact royalty that she’d end up owing.
.
Pound o’ flesh, behbeh. Pound o’ flesh.

1:52 pm March, 1 Southern Scrotic said...

Ahhh. Turns out Lena is married. Was going to say something clever about her researching my briefs anytime but it might be a little inappropriate.

2:14 pm March, 1 Kennedy Smith said...

I would strangle the beloved basset hound for the propinquity to be smacked by Katie’s ponytail as she turned to order an appletini.

2:23 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

@ Mr Reeve
.
Yup, pizza/cigar/micro brew joint and all.

3:20 pm March, 1 Kennedy Smith said...

@Cheeto, none of us were quite sure. Kind of a Lestat/Valmont/Siegfried and Roy/Gilderoy Lockhart kind of thing.

3:46 pm March, 1 Anally-impregnated-poop-baby said...

@Deltus, Dad?

4:02 pm March, 1 Kennedy Smith said...

@Et tu, that puffy shirt was worn by Ann Rice for a Halloween party, I’ll have you know. True. Picked it up in New Orleans. “Picked it up” being a phrase which here means stripped it off her passed-out torso in the nave of a converted Gothic cathedral.

6:34 pm March, 1 massengill said...

She can prosecute me, anytime.

7:56 pm March, 1 Guid is Good said...

Champagne Katie does cause some difficulties. I’ve been attempting to beat “Little Guid” into submission for some days now.

8:19 pm March, 1 banana hammock said...

Champagne Laura FTW! She could grind my lower quadrant till my parts were dry as cat litter..

9:12 pm March, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I got a transcendent message from none other than Champagne Tony Lema straight out of the afterlife:

“Champagne Katie and her gal pal both belong in the HOH, being way over par.
Like, double bogey.
Double trouble.
Doubly bubbly.”

9:43 pm March, 1 Stephanie said...

Oh girls,shoehorning yourself into a dress isn’t going to help you unless you put ads on craigs list … wait,they stopped that,gotta try something else…

7:34 am March, 2 Steve L. said...

i can’t fault someone for trying, but when i see “Think I brought her around to the Bag-huntin lifestyle” my first reaction is that Kennedy is too quick to draw (optimistic) conclusions.

7:37 am March, 2 Steve L. said...

and yeah the brunette next to Katie is STILL hotter than her!
take that, Katie!

8:29 am March, 2 Deltus said...

@Anally-impregnated-poop-baby: no, I’m your Mom.

8:30 am March, 2 Tanath said...

Does hitting on bleeth require rule 11 sanctions?

8:51 am March, 2 Kennedy Smith said...

@Steve Ever the romantic, Kennedy follows the “wanting to rescue her” view of HCwDB. Like Slughorn was the “can’t we all get along” Head of Slytherin House.

8:52 am March, 2 Kennedy Smith said...

And dear Janira should definitely be inducted into the Hall of Hott. Early fave for Hott of the Year, though may be biased on that score.

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