Friday, March 4, 2011

Friday Haiku

“Why’s it smell rank?,” said,
Brad’s talking belly button,
But no one noticed.

Wrong ones are topless;
removal of bikinis
results in…..”paint lines”?

— Wheezer

Brad’s love life on hold,
Suffers from rare STD.
Intestinal crabs.

— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders

Painted Goddesses
Next to Painted Fools and Trolls
No one is WINNING.

— jonezy

Those two black chest lines
Aren’t really fake suspenders
Just giant skid marks

— saulgoode42

I’ll have white Russian
Use extra boobie milk please
But no body paint

— Dude McCrudeshoes

Big Al’s Body Shop:
After we lube your rear end,
We’ll paint your bumpers!

— Hermit

# posted by douchebag1
7:04 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Wrong ones are topless;
removal of bikinis
results in…..”paint lines”?

7:05 am March, 4 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

Brad’s love life on hold,
Suffers from rare STD.
Intestinal crabs.

7:07 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Am I too lit’ral?
I calls ’em like I sees ’em,
and I sees boobies.

7:07 am March, 4 jonezy said...

Painted Goddesses
Next to Painted Fools and Trolls
No one is WINNING.

7:11 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Fat Tuesday’s comin’ –
I got beads for the ladies;
dudes showed each other.

7:15 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

“Who ya gotta blow
to get a drink in dis joint?”
David puts up hand.

7:15 am March, 4 saulgoode42 said...

Those two black chest lines
Aren’t really fake suspenders
Just giant skid marks

7:16 am March, 4 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Just a little more,
Just a little more
Damn ween still won’t reach his mouth.

7:17 am March, 4 saulgoode42 said...

Girl in the middle
Knows this is pretty stupid
She’s so fine- who cares?

7:18 am March, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Girls proudly display
their handiwork on torsos.
Puds still lack ideas.

7:19 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Good thing lips are there;
I wouldn’t want other side
to do the talking.

7:20 am March, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Paint your server night
was hit with male bar patrons.
For chicks, not so much.

7:21 am March, 4 saulgoode42 said...

Vin Schmoikel on right
Has thing for stars of David
“Stars” being man-seed

7:22 am March, 4 Horace Dangleballs said...

Body paint on staff
May seem cool to huge duchebags
WHERE THE FUCK’S MY DRINK?

7:23 am March, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Everyone told Glen
that he always talked out his
ass. He knows better.

7:24 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Hotts lack one color:
I call it “Wheezer Pearl.”
Lemme get paint gun…..

7:24 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Hotts lack one color:
I call it “Wheezer Pearl White.”
Lemme get paint gun…..
.
.
.
.
.
(grumbles)

7:25 am March, 4 Horace Dangleballs said...

Fresh groin shave reveal
On Todd the gay bait waiter
Dude’s vagina shows.

7:25 am March, 4 Daggerbagger' said...

Make my Greygoose
Shaken not stirred
Said James Bondouche

7:25 am March, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Girls got non-toxic
paint. Douches got lead-based paint.
Let the fun begin!

7:25 am March, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’ll have white Russian
Use extra boobie milk please
But no body paint

7:27 am March, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Las Vegas pool dopes
Nothing to do while pool’s cleaned
Bring stench to this bar

7:28 am March, 4 Horace Dangleballs said...

Irving’s dueling stars
Conflict with his bicep sleeve
Are they tats or paint?

7:28 am March, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Why didn’t someone
paint red concentric circles
on puds as targets?

7:28 am March, 4 Hermit said...

Big Al’s Body Shop:
After we lube your rear end,
We’ll paint your bumpers!

7:30 am March, 4 Horace Dangleballs said...

Fumes from body paint
Overwhelm the stench of Axe
Roofies not needed.

7:31 am March, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Oy, such a dark place
Shlomo’s mom was heard to say
And shiksas abound

7:34 am March, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Cafe graffiti
All of our staff loves the cock
Last line not needed!

7:38 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Clutch Cargo’s fave bar:
grandson is head bartender…..
clear double meaning.

7:40 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Yeah, shirtless and tatts,
but otherwise these guys aren’t
pissing me off much.
.
Hard to be hatter
when vitriol taking break;
focus on boobies?

7:46 am March, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Charlie Sheen style man.
Partied like a whore, forgot
TODAY is Friday.

7:47 am March, 4 the douche is alright said...

Hey Charlie’s Angels,
Bosley has a task for you:
destroy these douchebags

7:48 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Paint styles look better
on side of van; douchebags look
better under it.

7:48 am March, 4 Wedgie said...

Now at last we know
Why Capote’s was always
Bar of choice for Zyzz

7:48 am March, 4 collossus of choads said...

Hark! wood elves ahead!
but Gandalf cannot safe nymphs,
from troll with mangina.

7:50 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Next week could be it;
moving back to day shift soon,
and I’ll miss Haiku…..

7:50 am March, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

It was always a
mystery to Todd when chicks
laughed at “oral skillz”.

7:52 am March, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fag hags with gaybags.
Flowers should be on guys. Hide
Diseased ab fungus.

7:54 am March, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This is the first case
Where an STD was caught
From viewing photo

7:54 am March, 4 Anonymous said...

Flower children, not
Bowties no shirt classy, not
Douchebags baggettes, yes

7:55 am March, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Girls nice. I like them.
Guy on right is Jewish dreck.
Stays home on Fridays.

7:57 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Appendectomy
scar serves as second sphincter;
“open for business.”

7:58 am March, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bar will revolt soon.
Haim skimming off top. Hiding
Cash at Money Mart.

7:59 am March, 4 Steve L. said...

douchey tatt deluge
almost as bad as Grey Goose
overflow at back.

8:00 am March, 4 DarkSock said...

Glenn is cashing in
His colostomy port as
Glory Hole Gut Bliss

8:01 am March, 4 Wedgie said...

“Six tits and two dicks”
Says the website of porn club
“All five take anal”.

8:01 am March, 4 DarkSock said...

Glenn’s last girl? Lipless.
Learned a hard lesson about
Sticky Donky Jizz.

8:01 am March, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This is last Haiku.
Weekend frolic awaits me.
Time to roll some doobs.

8:01 am March, 4 Claude Douchenberg said...

Flower Children? Not!
Bows without shirts classy? Not!
Bags and baggettes? Yes!!!

8:02 am March, 4 DarkSock said...

Broadway cast of Rent
Cover STD rashes;
The Show Must Go On.

8:04 am March, 4 DarkSock said...

Hardcore Fetish Vid:
Glenn chugs beef stew, stabs gut;
Eruption paints friends.

8:04 am March, 4 Wheezer said...

Magikist mascot
fired for his poor work habits:
likes cockk, not carpet

8:05 am March, 4 DarkSock said...

Guilding the Lillies;
Lead paint for the two guys, though.
Guilding the Losers.

8:11 am March, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

One last rant. If you
See Dr. Manigat. tell him
I want meds, fucker.

8:15 am March, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Here in this garden
all the flowers are watered
with tears and herpes

8:16 am March, 4 Wedgie said...

Yesterday, Sock said:
“Must party like Charlie Sheen”.
Have at it, big guy.

8:19 am March, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

The dude on the right
should have bought flesh-colored paint
to hide shit tattoos

8:20 am March, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Those two long black stripes
not suspenders; tire tracks
from Gorgon burnout!!!

8:23 am March, 4 DarkSock said...

His talking navel?
Meh, that’s nothing. Yo, check out
His barking spider.

8:45 am March, 4 Deltus said...

Got no haiku today, because I’m smitten. Oh Hott In The Middle, how I could make you see the error of your ways. I realize you’re working there because you get paid well and you look phenomenal, but you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’ll take care of you. Please, HITM, please be mine. *cries*

10:05 am March, 4 VlaDoucheMir PooTin said...

(non-haiku)
Without looking through all the comments for notes, am I the only one noticing the obvious airbrushing of “cut” musculature lines on the bald guy? maybe it’s that fuck nut ‘the sitch’ ‘s brand of abdominization contouring spray.

11:31 am March, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

Unicorns! wizards!
She-viking on a white bear!
Flowers? (sigh) Yeah, sure.

8:17 pm March, 4 Nixolus said...

Tattoo took steroids
Fantasy Island still sucked
Hotter girls now though.

12:43 am March, 5 Motorcycle Mirrors said...

I recognize you are working there because you get paid well and you look phenomenal, but you don’t must worry about that anymore.

8:41 am March, 9 pan tilt zoom cameras said...

Thanks for this! I’ve been searching all over the web for the data.

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