Friday, March 4, 2011
Friday Haiku
“Why’s it smell rank?,” said,
Brad’s talking belly button,
But no one noticed.
Wrong ones are topless;
removal of bikinis
results in…..”paint lines”?
— Wheezer
Brad’s love life on hold,
Suffers from rare STD.
Intestinal crabs.
— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders
Painted Goddesses
Next to Painted Fools and Trolls
No one is WINNING.
— jonezy
Those two black chest lines
Aren’t really fake suspenders
Just giant skid marks
— saulgoode42
I’ll have white Russian
Use extra boobie milk please
But no body paint
— Dude McCrudeshoes
Big Al’s Body Shop:
After we lube your rear end,
We’ll paint your bumpers!
— Hermit
Wrong ones are topless;
removal of bikinis
results in…..”paint lines”?
Brad’s love life on hold,
Suffers from rare STD.
Intestinal crabs.
Am I too lit’ral?
I calls ’em like I sees ’em,
and I sees boobies.
Painted Goddesses
Next to Painted Fools and Trolls
No one is WINNING.
Fat Tuesday’s comin’ –
I got beads for the ladies;
dudes showed each other.
“Who ya gotta blow
to get a drink in dis joint?”
David puts up hand.
Those two black chest lines
Aren’t really fake suspenders
Just giant skid marks
Just a little more,
Just a little more
Damn ween still won’t reach his mouth.
Girl in the middle
Knows this is pretty stupid
She’s so fine- who cares?
Girls proudly display
their handiwork on torsos.
Puds still lack ideas.
Good thing lips are there;
I wouldn’t want other side
to do the talking.
Paint your server night
was hit with male bar patrons.
For chicks, not so much.
Vin Schmoikel on right
Has thing for stars of David
“Stars” being man-seed
Body paint on staff
May seem cool to huge duchebags
WHERE THE FUCK’S MY DRINK?
Everyone told Glen
that he always talked out his
ass. He knows better.
Hotts lack one color:
I call it “Wheezer Pearl.”
Lemme get paint gun…..
Hotts lack one color:
I call it “Wheezer Pearl White.”
Lemme get paint gun…..
.
.
.
.
.
(grumbles)
Fresh groin shave reveal
On Todd the gay bait waiter
Dude’s vagina shows.
Make my Greygoose
Shaken not stirred
Said James Bondouche
Girls got non-toxic
paint. Douches got lead-based paint.
Let the fun begin!
I’ll have white Russian
Use extra boobie milk please
But no body paint
Las Vegas pool dopes
Nothing to do while pool’s cleaned
Bring stench to this bar
Irving’s dueling stars
Conflict with his bicep sleeve
Are they tats or paint?
Why didn’t someone
paint red concentric circles
on puds as targets?
Big Al’s Body Shop:
After we lube your rear end,
We’ll paint your bumpers!
Fumes from body paint
Overwhelm the stench of Axe
Roofies not needed.
Oy, such a dark place
Shlomo’s mom was heard to say
And shiksas abound
Cafe graffiti
All of our staff loves the cock
Last line not needed!
Clutch Cargo’s fave bar:
grandson is head bartender…..
clear double meaning.
Yeah, shirtless and tatts,
but otherwise these guys aren’t
pissing me off much.
.
Hard to be hatter
when vitriol taking break;
focus on boobies?
Charlie Sheen style man.
Partied like a whore, forgot
TODAY is Friday.
Hey Charlie’s Angels,
Bosley has a task for you:
destroy these douchebags
Paint styles look better
on side of van; douchebags look
better under it.
Now at last we know
Why Capote’s was always
Bar of choice for Zyzz
Hark! wood elves ahead!
but Gandalf cannot safe nymphs,
from troll with mangina.
Next week could be it;
moving back to day shift soon,
and I’ll miss Haiku…..
It was always a
mystery to Todd when chicks
laughed at “oral skillz”.
Fag hags with gaybags.
Flowers should be on guys. Hide
Diseased ab fungus.
This is the first case
Where an STD was caught
From viewing photo
Flower children, not
Bowties no shirt classy, not
Douchebags baggettes, yes
Girls nice. I like them.
Guy on right is Jewish dreck.
Stays home on Fridays.
Appendectomy
scar serves as second sphincter;
“open for business.”
Bar will revolt soon.
Haim skimming off top. Hiding
Cash at Money Mart.
douchey tatt deluge
almost as bad as Grey Goose
overflow at back.
Glenn is cashing in
His colostomy port as
Glory Hole Gut Bliss
“Six tits and two dicks”
Says the website of porn club
“All five take anal”.
Glenn’s last girl? Lipless.
Learned a hard lesson about
Sticky Donky Jizz.
This is last Haiku.
Weekend frolic awaits me.
Time to roll some doobs.
Flower Children? Not!
Bows without shirts classy? Not!
Bags and baggettes? Yes!!!
Broadway cast of Rent
Cover STD rashes;
The Show Must Go On.
Hardcore Fetish Vid:
Glenn chugs beef stew, stabs gut;
Eruption paints friends.
Magikist mascot
fired for his poor work habits:
likes cockk, not carpet
Guilding the Lillies;
Lead paint for the two guys, though.
Guilding the Losers.
One last rant. If you
See Dr. Manigat. tell him
I want meds, fucker.
Here in this garden
all the flowers are watered
with tears and herpes
Yesterday, Sock said:
“Must party like Charlie Sheen”.
Have at it, big guy.
The dude on the right
should have bought flesh-colored paint
to hide shit tattoos
Those two long black stripes
not suspenders; tire tracks
from Gorgon burnout!!!
His talking navel?
Meh, that’s nothing. Yo, check out
His barking spider.
Got no haiku today, because I’m smitten. Oh Hott In The Middle, how I could make you see the error of your ways. I realize you’re working there because you get paid well and you look phenomenal, but you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’ll take care of you. Please, HITM, please be mine. *cries*
(non-haiku)
Without looking through all the comments for notes, am I the only one noticing the obvious airbrushing of “cut” musculature lines on the bald guy? maybe it’s that fuck nut ‘the sitch’ ‘s brand of abdominization contouring spray.
Unicorns! wizards!
She-viking on a white bear!
Flowers? (sigh) Yeah, sure.
Tattoo took steroids
Fantasy Island still sucked
Hotter girls now though.
I recognize you are working there because you get paid well and you look phenomenal, but you don’t must worry about that anymore.
Thanks for this! I’ve been searching all over the web for the data.