Friday, March 18, 2011

Friday Thoughts and Links

Oh, Canadian Kleenex Wipes. How you grope the hipster librarian Bleeth/Hotts in so many wrong ways.

It’s enough to make angels weep and bears urinate on garbage cans.

A quiet, humble week for your scruffy narrator. Trying to sell new shows in the wastezones of Hollywoodland, and taking time to scratch myself on the way.

L.A. has finally stopped raining so much. And the gugenzelia flowers smell like snozzleberries.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “Maybe you can help me. What’s wrong with my life? Why is my wife sleeping with someone else? Why can’t I sleep?”

An anonymous no-talent assclown by the name of “Joe Buys” makes a webpage. Click “play” at your own risk.

The Zygons love HCwDB.

Duck Hunting: Reality TV Edition. Sugar is a badass.

Cracked Magazine riffs in an HCwDB way in The rich dick’s guide to picking up women.

From Failblog, what every industrial zone needs: The Hipster Trap.

Slate discovers the amazing fact that young loser dudes hook up with hot chicks. Or, as they called it in the 90s, “College.”

Take heart, friends, for now even Skybar has picked up the good fight.

A performative ‘Bag hunter in Vegas, “The Gazillionaire,” takes on “The Situation.”

In spite of the world’s many troubles, there’s always joy in discovering that noted actor James Cromwell once played a swingin’ detective on “Three’s Company.” Jack Tripper approves.

Spider bites: The new Viagra.

But you are not here for spider bite erections. You are hear for pear. In the spirit of spider biting, enjoy:

Zombie Art Pear.

Where necrophilia fantasies and glute pooching meet.

The weekend has begunst. And your humble narrator is already drink on rice wine and mead.

# posted by douchebag1
12:44 pm March, 18 Lämp said...

**clicks on**
.
.
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I Love Zombie Art Pear
.
.
.
**clicks off**

12:45 pm March, 18 Lämp said...

**clicks on**
.
.
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No, I Mean I REALLY Love Zombie Art Pear
.
.
.
**clicks off**

12:55 pm March, 18 fatness said...

I always let Zygons be Zygons.
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Nice to see you again, Lämp. I agree.

1:00 pm March, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

Hmm!!!, Zombie Art Pear

1:02 pm March, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

Hopefully other bars will take the initiative that Skybar has instituted.

1:03 pm March, 18 YA said...

“Gazillionaire” reminds me of Edward James Olmos

1:17 pm March, 18 boone doggle said...

A banana spider and Zombie Art Pear….hmmm… the possibilities.

1:19 pm March, 18 Anonymous said...

Who needs viagra when you can awaken the dead with Zombie Art Pear?

1:19 pm March, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

The Gazillionaire is my new hero, that was great!!!

1:42 pm March, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Kleenexer is practicing for the money shot. I don’t think he needs much practice.

1:53 pm March, 18 tall guy said...

Zombie art pear: yes!

2:42 pm March, 18 mr.reeve said...

Zombie Art Pear For The Boner! “Get some” spiders

2:43 pm March, 18 mr.reeve said...

The Gazillionaire made my Friday.

4:07 pm March, 18 Dancy Neuche said...

Fuck what the cool kids think, The Gazillionare is pimp.
.
Right on to Skybar for enforcing some much needed dresscode. I bet this keeps a lot of bags at bay. Perhaps I should post this same policy on my bedroom door.
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First horse jizz, now spider bites? What’s next? Gecko labia?
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And in the spirit of AssPear Friday, Happy Super-Moon Eve.

4:09 pm March, 18 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

“Spider Bite Erections” Hello 2011 fantasy baseball team name.

4:13 pm March, 18 Luis Douchuel said...

“Or, since when Elton John has had a girlfriend and who is Kim Kardashian?”
.
I love it. Thank you Finland.

5:48 pm March, 18 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

re Zombie Art-Pear: nothing like taking us to the Dark Side.

5:51 pm March, 18 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Skybar: every airport’s watering hole, and now, the newest outpost of Homeland Security.

6:02 pm March, 18 Menschenjaeger said...

I have never before seen picture that more demanded a Heston.



GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER, YOU DAMN DIRTY APE(S)!

All kidding aside, first HCwDB pic that actually made me angry.

6:47 pm March, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Some pretty fine zombie ass. That’s why I normally date zombies. Ok, Asian zombies, but zombies all the same.
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Re: the pic?! ?! Maybe the the first pic ever on HCwDB where I thought “omg, someone has to help her” but I have a short attention span. So now I’m thinking about Asian zombie anal ganbangs again..

6:51 pm March, 18 free crack adobe said...

i like it Friday Thoughts and Links « fiery Chicks with Douchebags at this time im your rss reader

7:04 pm March, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Pantone Patty’s color is pleasing, but doesn’t seem to match her face or race. Kinda like Helen Gabor. Yeah… If you get that reference you are both the lowest of the low, and ok in my book.

7:13 pm March, 18 The Dude said...

*sigh* thank you for the zombie art pear!

7:19 pm March, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I can’t wait until The Situation’s situation is appearing at a grand opening of a car wash in Manalapan, NJ. His coke habit will accelerate the process.

The Finn’s are real characters, as evidenced by their Zycon’s forum.

And forget about Jack Tripper, that Norman Fell sure could pull the quality tail…

8:34 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

Speaking of fwapping to disturbing things, here’s a handy link for those of you fond of homo sapien / equine micturation activities.

10:01 pm March, 18 Stephanie said...

The Gazillionaire,my new hero. I only wish he could have have projectile vomited at the situation before he got kicked out.

11:33 pm March, 18 Motorcycle Accessories said...

The Kleenexer is practicing for the money shot. I don’t think they needs much practice.

10:04 am March, 19 Anonymous said...

Horse peeing is nothing new.

11:39 am March, 19 tall guy said...

I’ve made Zombie Art Pear the wallpaper on my phone! As a single guy who is always trying to date (a mostly disappointing activity) I don’t think it’s going to increase my chances, although It may access me entry to that alternate universe of amazonian women that George Constanza briefly entered on that Seinfeld episode.

3:13 pm March, 19 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Ummm…zombie pear! So, like, you screw her then blow her brains out when she tries to eat your head?

10:48 pm March, 19 DarkSock said...

Horse Peeing is timeless, like Greek Architecture, the Golden Section, and the band Winger.

10:51 pm March, 19 Steve L. said...

if the world has hipster traps, it has hope.

5:36 pm March, 20 butterblood said...

5:37 pm March, 20 butterblood said...

Same girl?

2:45 am March, 21 24 hour Plumbing said...

Right on to Skybar for enforcing some much needed dresscode. I bet this keeps lots of bags at bay. Perhaps I ought to post this same policyowner on my bedroom door.

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