Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Goldilocks and the Three Bores

Aesop just bitch slapped an arthritic Nun and cursed the Godless darkness of existential crisis.

# posted by douchebag1
9:28 am March, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Jake lusted silently after Katie from the edge of the dancefloor, cursing his poor decision to wear the sleeved, v-neck t-shirt.

9:35 am March, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This club apparently has a strict no sleeves policy. Someone bounce the dude with the bizarrely low v-neck to the curb for being over-dressed.

9:39 am March, 9 SharpStick N' Eye said...

I have never seen a more unattractive trio of gentleman in my life as these three. Unless you count that summer I spent in the Ozarks with Wilbur Sr., Wilbur Jr. And Wilbur Jr. Jr.
.
Douche on the right has better looking eyebrows than “Goldilacks good taste in male companions”. Add stupid Jesus bling and sunglasses in a dark club (We get it douchebags, you’re either high or checking out tits and ass or both. You only get a pass if you’ve just had cataract surgery or your eyes dialated. If you wear the sunglasses at night or inside 24-7, I will rob you of your soul or money whichever is easier. You have been formally warned.)

9:41 am March, 9 SharpStick N' Eye said...

And what the fuck?! Douche in the back upper right with the white shirt is taking the collar pop to the extreme. Collaz B., please way in on this!

9:47 am March, 9 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Three bores in the foreground but plenty of dorks hanging around in the back….

10:02 am March, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

BBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPPPP!!!!!

10:05 am March, 9 Wheezer said...

SpursFan = Donkey Douche Jr.?

10:15 am March, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Jersey Sausage Fest.

10:17 am March, 9 banana hammock said...

Another case of the carpet matching the dorks

10:18 am March, 9 Organic Alpaca Nutrition said...

Wow, I really like the website. I find the subject matter fascinating. And remember, don’t discard that unborn alpaca fetus, it can be made into a decorative footstool.

http://www.alpacanutrition.com

10:26 am March, 9 Tyrannosaurus Douche said...

If you look in the upper left of the pic, FishSlap is on his way to breaking this whole mess up. NOBODY comes to his house and pushes the douche around. Son.

11:11 am March, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

Holy smokes, this whole scene….it’s like she’s the only chick in a friggin’ inbreeding farm. Look at all these dudes. Where is this, Kentucky?

11:11 am March, 9 Wedgie said...

Hey, there’s that Alpaca guy again. Just in time, too. Mrs. Wedgie has been looking for a new footstool.

11:12 am March, 9 Wedgie said...

But I must admit she prefers the ones made from Llama fetus. No accounting for taste, is there?

11:18 am March, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Anybody here like RUSH?

11:22 am March, 9 SharpStick N' Eye said...

RUSH sucks alpaca fetus footstool balls Rev.

11:29 am March, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

Fuck yeah, I love RUSH! And I don’t care what anyone says.

11:45 am March, 9 Organic Alpaca Nutrition said...

Please don’t disparage the fine folks of the Commonwealth of Kentucky. I move a great deal of organic Llama Omega Fish Oil products there.

AlpacaNation

11:52 am March, 9 Wheezer said...

RUSH rocks! And by “RUSH,” I mean the Canadian band, not the Canadian blowhard.

11:56 am March, 9 Daggerbagger' said...

Seriously, what the hell is up with wearing sunglasses in clubs/ after dark these days?? Not a particularly powerful pic, but with limited resouces these bros are douchin it up the best they can

11:56 am March, 9 DarkSock said...

I got some damn nice tickets to see Geddy and Company in NOLA. Yesss.

12:11 pm March, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So the fourth baboon has learned how to operate the camera? Nice!

12:13 pm March, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Those two guys in the back look like their both leaning in for a passionate tongue wrassle. In fact, there’s a lot of flabby, sleeveless dudes in this scene trying to impress each other.
.
This whole thing is about 1.5 vodka and Redbulls away from changing from a sausage party into a sword fight. Dude in the hyper v-neck is already prepping himself for a tumble.

12:27 pm March, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is she the only one here who isn’t aware that this is blaring through the PA system?

2:31 pm March, 9 skrag2112 said...

Vinny Bore: “Someones been peeing in my butt!”
Marky Bore: “Someones been peeing in my butt!”
Bobby Bore: “Someones been peeing in my butt and they broke it too!”

5:03 pm March, 9 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Somehow the brunette porch beef always finds its way into the blonde meat locker, and emerges as club steak.

5:48 pm March, 9 Steve L. said...

“this porridge is too douchey…”
“that porridge is too douchey…”
“the last porridge to too douchey…”

5:48 pm March, 9 Steve L. said...

damn. Skrag2112 @ 2:31 PM kinda beat me to it.

6:16 pm March, 9 Wedgie said...

Closet sausage jockeys. With whorse.

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