Sunday, March 20, 2011

HCwDB Turns 5!

Happy birthday fellow hunters and huntresses!!!!

Five years ago, the virtual mock was born.

Today, we’re all growds up.

# posted by douchebag1
12:57 pm March, 20 fatness said...

Hey, that’s 128 in Internet years… 🙂
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Congrats DB1.

12:57 pm March, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Party Southy St.Patricks Day Parade-style Son. On this great day I would like to remind all the hunters that Canada is joining it brothers in The Libya fiasco, I mean operation. The Canadian Armed Forces has sent six aircraft and a frigate. And by that I mean 3 Ultralite kite planes with Tucumseh lawnmower engines, an unmanned D-Day relic glider made of balsa, 2 Paratroopers armed with snowshoes and beef jerky, and Uncle Bobby’s bass boat driven by Whiarton Willie and a rabid beaver.

1:21 pm March, 20 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@ the Reverend
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Great! You’ve left the Canada-Michigan border completely open.
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Happy Birthday, boss! I know by now you figured you’d have been bought out by Google, Facebook, or Tommy’s Bookmarks. I think all you gotta do is turn off the comment feature and the offers will come rolling in. Might even positively impact the global economy what with all of us having to go back to work. Oh, who are we kidding, we’re like porn to you.
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I know my thoughts about being 10 feet tall and wearing Medusa like a snorkel are porn to me. When I breath in she’d quiver uncontrollably and scream like a yiddish Turrets sufferer, and when I breath out her tits would do the Macarena and she’d spur me like a bull at the national pro rodeo.
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Wait, what was the topic? Oh yeah, Merry Christmas boss!

1:31 pm March, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Happy B-Day DB1. I Hope you don’t get turrets induced hyper-gravitation of the tongue like this douche, and some Bleeth will have to help you keep it in the vicinity of your mouth and/or her va-jay-jay.

1:46 pm March, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Mazel Tov! Today you are a fountain pen!

2:15 pm March, 20 the douche whisperer said...

@DB1
thank you for your efforts and continued leadership sir! this site is a source of sanity for me in our unending collective struggles.
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i train hotts, i rehabilitate douches.
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i am the douche whisperer.

2:15 pm March, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

This picture is everything that is wrong with the world. Seriously, this one picture has summed it all up.

2:19 pm March, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Stifler’s out of rehab already?

2:26 pm March, 20 collosus of choads said...

Happy Birthday HCwDB.
Douche on Brothers, douche on.

2:41 pm March, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

Happy B-Day Son!!!!
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The first time we saw this ass clown he was shirtless semi choking a chick. I was disgusted then as I am now and I echo the sentiments of MC 900

2:53 pm March, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Happy BD DB1! It is through this site and this site alone where I learned infinite internets wisdoms. Plus its the only one where my natural disgruntledness is welcome. Well at least I think its welcomed, fuck anyone who says otherwise. Through good times and bad, through trolls and jellybrahdongs, the mock must go on! Or else douchebags like the one pictured above will continue to douche…unmocked.
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Douche Whisperer! Long time no see!

3:54 pm March, 20 Ted Brogan said...

Congratulations, boss! This site is arguably the best on the internet.

4:06 pm March, 20 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

4:50 pm March, 20 Concerned Citizen said...

CND, I can not access your linkage. Please describe to me using only nouns what it is all about. My mind requires blowment.

5:29 pm March, 20 Deltus said...

She’s trying to keep his drool from dripping onto his shirt. Now that is one dedicated hott.

6:37 pm March, 20 Hermit said...

By any measure, five years is a long time to be cleaning carpet fibres and cat hair from underneath the creases of your sweaty knuckles. Not to mention being pistol-whipped with a three ring binder.

8:47 pm March, 20 Guid is Good said...

Nice Douche spokes-model.

9:19 pm March, 20 JBone said...

I feel so proud to have lived in my mother’s basement for this long and not have been kicked out…

9:22 pm March, 20 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

Boss, thank you for being a beacon of light in a world that grows darker by the minute from the douche blight. May our collective efforts eventually reverse the trend of the unholy douchetude from which our once glorious culture now crumbles. I’ll follow you to the gates of hell and back, all the while swinging my firey sword of Mock at all whom deserve the spiritual wake up call to quit being fucking douchey.
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Yours in the Mock,
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Taint

10:01 pm March, 20 DarkSock said...

Thank you, Boss, for many many weeks of trolling through comments, doing the weeklies and haiku and limericks and what-not.
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Hell, if it were a channel on DirecTV I’d pay for it. But we’ve been chortling for free for 5 years.
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Huzzah, HCwDB; you have lasted longer than most of our first marriages!!! Let us all lift a glass (or in Reverend Chad’s case, a tarred glass pipe) to DB1!

10:47 pm March, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Hermit

I feel your pain brother!!!!!!!!
I look back because I like to fuck up the doctors!!!1
I don’t look back back because of the doctors!!!!
Hermit has been in pain.

11:44 pm March, 20 Douche Springsteen said...

raising a Ubiquitous Red Cup of fortified wine and a tasty hoho snack cake to 5 years of mock. Long may you run, DB1.

12:42 am March, 21 Ah Sole said...

The drooling retard got loose again and the bleeth is mildly amused waiting for the men in white jackets to come and slip this fucked up idiot back into his straight jacket.

2:42 am March, 21 24 hour Plumbing said...

I breath in she did quiver uncontrollably and scream like a yiddish Turrets sufferer, and when I breath out her tits would do the Macarena and she did spur me like a bull at the national pro rodeo.
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4:50 am March, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Happy DB-Day!
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This site has changed my life, and by changed my life I mean made me spend an inordinate amount of time looking at and making fun of assholes.

6:00 am March, 21 Douchey Smurf said...

Congrats!

7:20 am March, 21 Flyteeth said...

FIVE FUCCE EYEARSD IS A LOGN TIEM TO BE LOCKEDU P IN FUCCEN COUNTY WHEN OYU HAVE NOT TARMAL!
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WAIT, WHAT THE FUE ARE WEET FUCCEN TALKINGG AOUBT?

9:19 am March, 21 Wheezer said...

Five years, and I’m sure we’ve barely scraped the surface of what needs to be mocked. But I know there is progress being made, even though douchebaggery has not yet been eradicated as I would like. The war is ongoing, and we must remain ever vigilant to new strains of the Grieco virus, for the boobies and suckle thighs must always be protected (and groped).
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Happy Birthday, HCwDB! (And yeah, I know I’m a day late.)
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The first post…..and first with a pic…..

9:38 am March, 21 banana hammock said...

Here’s to 5 more years of Mock!
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at least one activity that I have participated in that wasn’t a complete waste of time, now I go back to pretending to work…
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son

10:46 am March, 21 Stephanie said...

I’ve gotten enough laughs so it’s worth it. Another 5 more please,since douches are still part of this world society. They must be stopped.

12:18 pm March, 21 DarkSock said...

@ Wheezer: heh heh I forgot about going back and horse-peeing that first post….

12:27 pm March, 21 SonnyChibaChoad said...

DB1 – thanks for the laughs and pics….my eyes are still burning from Donkey Douche and Gynochin!

2:25 pm March, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Happy 5th Birthday Boss!
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My vocabulary has expanded, my mocking abilities have grown, and I’ve learned about more fuccked up shit than I ever could have imagined on my own, No one could ever say that this site is a waste of time. It truly is educational people. Don’t believe me? How many of you knew what micturation was BEFORE you came here? Show of hands? Be honest. OK, one. See right there. Educational.

8:16 pm March, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Oh, goodie, I can send you a cute card from the Target/Walgreen’s/CVS/you-name-it-store aisle celebrating your 5th Birthday.
And consume a 5th of Maker’s Mark, just as a show of good faith in the hangover puke-factor of douche.

5:44 am March, 22 kevin said...

I breath out her tits would do the Macarena and she did spur me like a bull at the national pro rodeo.

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