Monday, March 21, 2011

Hipster Sammy is Angry About his Cous-Cous

Young Kelly McGillis sees real genius in his flying. And by flying, she means ability to beer burp the theme from “The Jeffersons.”

# posted by douchebag1
12:14 pm March, 21 DarkSock said...

This is why I never give them my loose change; you can’t get rid of ’em after that.

12:14 pm March, 21 DarkSock said...

The Guinness officials are standing off-camera to witness The World’s Saddest Conga Line first-hand.

12:15 pm March, 21 DarkSock said...

When even peeing in the butt has lost its thrill, it’s time to move on, kids.

12:22 pm March, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Oh, young Kelly, how I long to see you fill out a shirt that didn’t come from the $5 bargain bin at Walmart – something classy like a a teddy with peek-a-boo nipples from Frederick’s. Then maybe a haircut that isn’t from that strange Korean lady who never has any customers, so she shaves cats, at Supercuts.
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I realize every time Hipster Sammy has $15 burning a hole in his pocket he buys a Sharpie and gives himself another home-made tat. I promise I’d treat you better. At least until I start crushing on your cuter younger sister, but you’re probably safe until she turns 15.

12:38 pm March, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

He doesn’t deserve to be wearing that Rolling Stones T-shirt.
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Head colds that morph into chest colds suck!!! Nyquil rocks!!! much like the Stones when they were belting out classics like “Sticky Fingers” and “Exile on Main Street”.
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Good call DB1 on the Kelly McGinnins likeness. Son!

12:47 pm March, 21 skrag2112 said...

Now I see why Kelly McGillis turned lesbo.

12:54 pm March, 21 banana hammock said...

Sammy’s aerial avian coprophobia has cost him more than one fun filled evening on the town with Miss Kelly. I think I saw him yesterday behind a Safeway drinking backwash from crushed cans of 211, smoking moth wings in used papers…

12:56 pm March, 21 Top Shun said...

I’m throwing out my “Rolling Stones” shirt. Thanks a lot douchebag.
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@skrag2112, she didn’t turn lezbo, she was born that way. Brush up on your GaGa.

12:59 pm March, 21 banana hammock said...

Just reviewed the pic again and it was definitely him, forensics determine that the same red hat and diaper were on the scene.

1:01 pm March, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Meh. These two skanks deserve each other.
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However , this was pretty cool on Bubba TL Sponge’s show today:

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Hot Chick With Non-Douchebag Boyfriend Drops Four Slugs In Attempted Home Invasion Rape/Robbery Asshole, Killing Him. YAY!
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Also , there’s a Video interview
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And in the quote of the day:

“I’m glad it was me,” Brown said. “Not everybody else is that prepared, you know what I mean. Not everybody else is walking around with a loaded .38.”

1:04 pm March, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I’m assuming that’s their double-wide that they’re posing in front of.

1:05 pm March, 21 DarkSock said...

“Well”, thought a very irate and trapped Kelly, “I guess the barbed penis theory was true”.

1:14 pm March, 21 Wedgie said...

Sock, please stop reading the Onion. Other guys can get away with it, because nobody gives a shit what they think. But as H.O.M. inductee #2, you are held to a higher standard.
That said, a barbed penis could be useful, as it would keep ’em from escaping. Not that I would know anything about it.

1:16 pm March, 21 Wedgie said...

Regarding the photo above, it has no hot chick. Two douchebags who need showers is not the name of this site.
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And thanks to Vin for introducing us to Meghan Brown. Good shot, girl.

1:23 pm March, 21 Deltus said...

I dunno, wedgie, you put some sunglasses to hide the fact that her face ain’t all that great, do her hair up proper, and get a decent bathing suit on her, I don’t think she’d be bad at all to look at / fap over. Sometimes the food needs a little sauce to hide the blemishes. And by sauce I mean my creamy man-butter.

1:40 pm March, 21 DarkSock said...

Wedgie, The Onion is my sole source of news. I find it to be fair and balanced.

1:43 pm March, 21 Tyrannosaurus Douche said...

Wow, nobody told me K-Fed and Brittney were back together, but I guess this pic proves it (and burns my soul to the core). Son.

2:07 pm March, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Vin
Not only is she smokin’ hot and a total badass, it looks like she put her boyfriend back in line with a pair of Irish sunglasses too. Today, Chuck Norris is wearing an I <3 Meghan Brown T-Shirt.

2:11 pm March, 21 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Hipster Sammy impresses young Kelly with a hat that matches his sleeve.

The matching sleeve and hat are also the clue that they did not just throw something on when the trailer caught fire. These two thought long and hard about what clothes to wear when they go out a meetin’ folks.

2:33 pm March, 21 Douchble Helix said...

They’ll be married ’til they die. Each one wants to aggravate the other one as much as possible every day for the rest of their life.

2:44 pm March, 21 DarkSock said...

Their sexual congress is gridlocked. Damned tax and spank liberals.

2:44 pm March, 21 DarkSock said...

I like her bicameral setup though.

3:13 pm March, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hipster Sammy thinks cous cous is the newest flavor of AXE to come out.

3:45 pm March, 21 Vin Douchal said...

I’d pay to watch Donkey Douche Jackie-Slap this dude across a Chicago beach

7:56 pm March, 21 Guid is Good said...

That ain’t no Hott. She looks like she’s about to get very angry and throw poor Hipster Sammy’s douchey arse out of the trailer because he spent the child support on cheap bourbon. Again. Don’t do crystal meth kids.

8:08 pm March, 21 Offensive Sounding Name said...

She looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet.
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Sooo jealous.

8:36 pm March, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

The ONION is my one source of news: I find it to be unfair and unbalanced. That’s newsworthy.

8:40 pm March, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Hipster Sammy just needs a little ol’ French film night with “Cousin, Cousine” after devouring a cous-cous salad; and playing cootchy-coo with his female friend Pebbles’ frontside here, instead of “A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss” with her backside.

10:54 pm March, 21 Steve L. said...

Hipster Sammy is actually angry about his douche-douche.



sorry.

11:29 pm March, 21 Wheezer said...

Re: Vin’s 1:01 p.m. post…..
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Meghan Brown for Hall of Hott? Something about the elimination of a total psychopath fucknut coke freak just tickles my loins…..or maybe it’s because of the boobies or something.
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Anyway, there’s this article, too.

5:40 am March, 22 Motorcycle Accessories said...

It was definitely him, forensics choose that the same red hat and diaper were on the scene.

6:09 am March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

How did I miss this? I could not have had something useful to do. Or could I?

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