Thursday, March 24, 2011

Johnny Tonguebag

One of the hardest douches to tag in the wild, the rare and elusive Tonguebag only comes out when the hills are swollen with rain and supple spank.

EDIT: The ‘Baghunters pay tribute to the jibblies of curvaceous mound in the comments thread:

Deltus: I would handwalk across the men’s bathroom floor at a Metallica concert and then sissy-slap an incontinent rhino just for the opportunity to dry hump the salesperson who sold her that dress.

Hermit: I’d suck the tiny droplets of cranberry juice which ooze from betwixt her heaving milk vessels, using a kiln-fired straw molded by a lesbian, hairy potter, from clay scraped off the tires of a ‘97 Land Rover which has just returned from a tour of bowling ball manufacturing facilities in the Holy Lands.

# posted by douchebag1
7:06 am March, 24 Anonymist said...

Tonguebag slicks his eyebrows with his tongue. I can only hope her massive breasts are used to smother him in his sleep… although, she could just use something else if she doesn’t want to taint her tatas.

7:10 am March, 24 saulgoode42 said...

What, did the Gap have a sale on noses or something? These two look like naughty brother and sister.

7:11 am March, 24 Anonymist said...

“the hills are swollen with rain and supple spank”… brilliant.

7:18 am March, 24 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

This infuriates me.

7:19 am March, 24 Wheezer said...

Her right hand says, “Don’t even try to grab my ass!”
.
Smart hott – now get his hands off you entirely.
.
.
.
.
.
Oh, and boobies. Melons. Jiggly jubbly bubbly boobies. I adore.

7:21 am March, 24 Deltus said...

Most bagmeat tries to use their tongue to look, what they consider at least, badass or rocker, for which to attract the hott. Not this pudwhack, though. Nope, he’s going for goofy and retarded. Great job there, genius.
.
Also? Boobies. I would handwalk across the men’s bathroom floor at a Metallica concert and then sissy-slap an incontinent rhino just for the opportunity to dry hump the salesperson who sold her that dress.

7:22 am March, 24 Hermit said...

I’d suck the tiny droplets of cranberry juice which ooze from betwixt her heaving milk vessels, using a kiln-fired straw molded by a lesbian, hairy potter, from clay scraped off the tires of a ’97 Land Rover which has just returned from a tour of bowling ball manufacturing facilities in the Holy Lands.

7:30 am March, 24 Wedgie said...

Better have that looked at; it might be malignant..

7:47 am March, 24 Douchble Helix said...

Yowza!

Those *are* the same noses. Ewwww…

7:51 am March, 24 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

I’m almost willing to forgive the guy for the tongue thing. It is very likely the gravitational pull of that rack caused some unfortunate facial paralysis.

7:56 am March, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’m glad everyone is mesmerized by the fun bags… have at it, and leave the attractive chicks for me.

8:08 am March, 24 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

For five seconds of watching those magnificent melons slosh salaciously from side to side during a saddling, I would circumcise a syphilitic dwarf whilst singing Ode to Joy to a supplicant SS officer under an hirsute lampshade.

Too soon?

8:12 am March, 24 Fyodor Dostedouchesky said...

Is this Michele Caruso-Cabrera’s younger sister? They seem to have at least one – er, two – things in common

8:45 am March, 24 I R A Darth Aggie said...

If you touch that hott again with that toungue, you’re not getting it back.
.
Son.
.
Now, unhand that rather generous hott. I have to assist her with a breast examination. It will take several hours and require lubricants.

8:47 am March, 24 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Also: giggity.

8:50 am March, 24 Banana Hammock said...

Wasn’t this a scene from one of the Friday the 13th films? Supple large breasted hott gets attacked by possessed tongue monster dude in a rubber mask…

8:53 am March, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

If you’re still out there Rev. Chad, hit me up at gunnerbossox@gmail.com if you still want to talk.
.
As for this pic, the roundness of her boobage causes circular orbitalness in the curvature of the arctulatiousness sphericity resulting in such globosity that his tongue has become sentient and is trying to escape from his face. Yep, I got distracted. And it sure wasn’t by her face.

8:55 am March, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Whoops. Sorry Rev Chad. Should be gunnerbosox@gmail.com

8:57 am March, 24 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Young Bob Geldof sure could pull some boobie.

9:03 am March, 24 Willie_Horton said...

“I’m almost willing to forgive the guy for the tongue thing. It is very likely the gravitational pull of that rack caused some unfortunate facial paralysis.” – LOL True!!

9:22 am March, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

Luscious ripe mounds of joy bring a smile to my face on this otherwise dreary day. I can only imagine the to & fro jiggling those melons are capable of.

9:44 am March, 24 tall guy said...

I’m wondering just how much those babies would drop once let free from their over shoulder boulder holder. Gravity, it’s not the most pervasive, the most ever present force of nature for nothing. Of course In years to come, I can pretty much visualise them hanging down to her navel. Not an attractive sight.

9:44 am March, 24 Mr. Biggs said...

DEFINITELY a golden globes nominee. Such magnificent mounds of mammary mastication make us question our very sad concept of perfection. For these are beyond perfect. They … aspire.

9:50 am March, 24 tall guy said...

…but in the meantime: boobs!

10:05 am March, 24 Merle Baggard said...

His eyebrows look like two caterpillars trying desperately to get away from each other.

10:19 am March, 24 Mock 6 said...

That dress isn’t the only thing putting Johnny Tonguebag’s sister to the test. Yeeesh, these to are more related than the Theory of Relativity. (Nerds, I’m not really sure if that joke makes scientific sense but I went with it anyways.)

11:03 am March, 24 Banana Hammock said...

If confronted by these mountains of motorboat magnificence one would make beaver teeth until testosterone urges take over and I am sacrificed to Miss clevite.
.
It does my heart well not seeing too much hate for poor mongol Johnny… one drop to the head and we could have all ended up this way, just be cautious of that thick drool puddle he leaves on the table in the cafeteria.

11:57 am March, 24 DarkSock said...

Cindy tried desperately to ignore the severed goat labia in Todd’s teeth.

1:27 pm March, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wow boobies!

7:25 pm March, 24 Grand Douchemeister said...

I would…

Jesus, what is there to say that already hasn’t been said? The Golden Globes have their preliminary favorite.

Let there be many who supplant them in the future.

7:34 pm March, 24 Stephanie said...

She ought to butt him in the chin with her breasts.

10:34 pm March, 24 Mr. Biggs said...

And I’d almost give him a notta, mugging aside, expect that I think he grooms his eyebrows with his tongue.

4:05 am March, 25 Douchey Smurf said...

I’d love to deliver a round house kick to the spot right between his gigantic eyebrows.

4:28 am March, 25 Motorcycle Accessories said...

Not this pudwhack, though. Nope, he is going for goofy & retarded. Great job there, genius.

12:14 pm March, 25 apartments for sale said...

Not this pudwhack, though. Nope, he is going for goofy & retarded. Great job there, genius.

11:07 pm March, 25 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

When the x-ray techs get a load of that sorta rack before the mammogram, thus hangeth the tongue and archeth the eyebrows.
Which is why the female techs do the work.
But the men in the back room still do the goof-face guffaw.
And yuk, I’d bet on it, those noses share a signature DNA-loaded chunky-chunk appearance.

9:30 am March, 26 corporations offshore said...

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