Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Melanie Meets the Douchehound Gang

The “Case of the Awkward and Inappropriate Grope” just got a little more interesting once the Douchehound Gang became implicated after an ass pear fingerprint dusting.

Yup. No idea what I’m saying. Time for some string cheese.

# posted by douchebag1
1:38 pm March, 22 Wedgie said...

Nothing says “I’m Macho” better than having little baby stars tattooed on your chest beneath yet another meaningless inscription in Sanskrit.
Dick.

2:10 pm March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hey Wedgie. The Reverend Chad had an intervention today. Wow. My wife and in laws and parents and Psychiatrist and cops tried to put me in the fucccking nut ward today, Can’t a guy beat somebody up for busting in front of the line anymore? I need a friend folks. Anybody care? I’m not that crazy. Anyone? DB1? Good thing my lawyer is on speed dial. Anyone? Wow. Just fucking Wow!

2:11 pm March, 22 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Man you crashed me from that last post of digital duecheosophy. My mind is blown. I cannot mock. Is this doucheivahna?

2:27 pm March, 22 Vin Douchal said...

He loves chimichingas so much he had it tattooed on his pec

2:27 pm March, 22 banana hammock said...

She looks like that female Jim Henson puppet from the Labyrinth… i’d do her.

2:53 pm March, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

1. @ Rev Chad… I’m here for ya buddy. People say I got anger issues and I’m the world’s biggest asshole. That is until they get to know me. Then they tell me I’m the world’s biggest colossal asshole. I say go with your strengths. I purposely try to mean mug and intimidate most people without ever getting to know them or talk to them. Why? See the former reasons and because of them, said people leave me the fucck alone. Which is all I want in the first place. I never really got into the whole doobage thing or drugs because I like to have my wits about me (yeah I’m a fuccen control freak too, go figure) at all times. At most I drink the beer to help with sleeping (God I wish I could get to fuccen sleep at night). Nobody can put you in the nut house without your consent unless you are truly a danger to yourself or the public at large. You just gotta watch what you say and how you say it. My mother was committed a few times because she was dumb enough to say that she wanted to blow her brains out in public and she meant it. Now she’s smart enough to just tell me (and still means it but I can’t do shit about it because I’m so fuccen far away) and no one else. I could go on and on about the fuccked up mental health issue me and my family have but I won’t bore everyone else with them. If you seriously wnt to talk, I’ll let you know how to get in touch with me.
.
2. Douche’s nipple on the left makes one helluva sun dial. Looks like it’s about 6 o’clock somewhere.

3:01 pm March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Dr.Bunsen Honeydouche

I love you man. Trying to sleep it off, The bad part is I have to deal with them for the rest of their lives. Those lives may have shortened today. The mailman’s did. He had a tasty pancreas.

3:27 pm March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Melanie just re-awakened my Dora the Explorer fetish again. There goes 10k worth of therapy, and I’ll probably be legally required to stay at least 100 yards from schools again. Total ball-suck.

3:31 pm March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Rev
I’m sure the mailman had it coming. Just make sure they have delivered my Charlie Sheen Pez dispenser that I ordered from eBay before you eat the next one. It makes the Pez taste like winning.

3:33 pm March, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Rev
.
Sounds like a good plan (the sleeping it off part). Same shit will still be there tomorrow. None of it is going to run away from you. Then again, maybe that’s the problem. Have WAY to much experience with that. Maybe that’s why everybody in my family has ulcers. Nah, couldn’t be. Just let me know when you’re feelin’ up for another “talk”. Get a good night’s sleep if you can.

3:35 pm March, 22 Wedgie said...

@Rev Chad:
You seem normal to me. Maybe I need one of those interventions, too. I solve most problems using .408 Cheyenne Tactical cartridges.

3:36 pm March, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Wedgie
.
I prefer .454 Casul or .50 AE. Makes the wife nervous though. She’s such a pussy sometimes.

3:41 pm March, 22 Wedgie said...

So in conclusion, I may need therapy, but at least I’m a fuccen good shot.
And douchebag season is almost upon us.

3:43 pm March, 22 Spell Attic said...

@Rev Chad, Nancy Dreuche here under-cover, deep cover. Anyways, maybe the nuthouse is what you need. The one I stayed at had great food, and a guy that walked around jerkin it on the sly (or so he thought). Anywho sometimes you need that time away to reasses and turns out theres people with a lot bigger problems than you like needing to jerk it and ambulate. It will give you some perspective and if I remember correctly, Tuesday is kareoke night. That means beltin it out to RUSH tunes Rev. Think about it.

3:45 pm March, 22 Spell Attic said...

As for the above pic, she doesn’t look real. But they sure look douchey.

3:49 pm March, 22 Wedgie said...

Could be the new Real Doll. Geez, I wish I had an extra six grand lying around.

3:49 pm March, 22 fatness said...

That Winnie Cooper cardboard cutout can sure pull the choads.

3:50 pm March, 22 Wedgie said...

Of course, my barbed penis would ruin her.

3:51 pm March, 22 soy bomb said...

Fatness 3:49 FTW

4:08 pm March, 22 Mr. White said...

This girl isn’t a day over 15. That’s getting young, even by my standards.

4:09 pm March, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev & Doc
.
Sleep deprivation sucks balls!!! I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Stay strong Son’s, I sincerely mean that.
.
Melanie is Hott in a Euro girl next door type of way and I’m willing to bet she doesn’t have to worry about these guys groping her.

6:48 pm March, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

L-R: Barack Obama, Juliette Lewis, a prolapsed anus.

6:51 pm March, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Rev. Chad– Kate@nastyrubber.com
.
Yeah, there. If anyone else wants to stalk me there, you better send some german bukakke porn or don’t fuccen bother. Rev. Chad, I could tell you things that would make yer short hairs curl. Feel free to rant my way, nothing’s gonna shock me.

7:26 am March, 23 Deltus said...

@Mr. White: I wish you wouldn’t say things like “she isn’t a day over 15”. It makes me feel guilty about the semi.

8:09 am March, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’m a crime tech. I’m here to dust your ass pear for prints. Just relax, miss.

12:30 pm March, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Baby-doll pajama tops are so passe for a hotchick, but the usual douchey nose-in-the-air with shades and shorn chests poses are always good for admission to DoucheTheatre.

Leave a Reply

What is 10 + 4 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)