Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Once More Into the Bleach

There are many ways Douche and Bleeth can entertain themselves at the Jerzey shore.

They can flex and pose, as we see here.

The can practice lifts.

Or they can repose with a tasty Bud Light Lime on a flexy boat net.

Apologies for the lack of hott, these pics amused me too much not to run, so to make up for it, have some Glorious Soccer Pear.

# posted by douchebag1
1:31 pm March, 9 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

FIRST!

1:34 pm March, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Typical New Jersey. They stole some other state’s palm trees.

1:36 pm March, 9 Vin Douchal said...

They are beyond orange / tan and into some mind blowing magenta type shit. Really, WTF is going on here?
.
Couple of mongrol sweathogs. This will never heal, assholes. Have fun with that

1:40 pm March, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Some girls, you just wish you could go back in time and lock in their rooms. She’s not one of them, but you all know who I’m talking about.
.
Anyhow, Anna Nalick wrote a nice ditty that inspired me. To the tune of “Breathe (2AM)”
.

.
Bleeth (2AM)
.
2 AM and she calls says she can’t find her keys,
can I come pick her up, says she’s starting to freeze
I don’t love her, pity just keeps me returning
There she sits on the curb, wasted look in her eyes
Make-up worn hair a mess fresh sex stains on her thighs,
Swarm of flies, pack of wolves she’s just not that discerning
.
‘Cause you can’t fix your rep, with your friends who enable
Just toss back another glass, spread for the stable
Isn’t it all about having a ball,
So just raise your fake tits in your hands
And bleeth, just bleeth,
Woah bleeth, just bleeth
.
When you turned 21 said its time to be free
F*ck the folks and college life’s just one big party,
Bend her over, she puts out for hot clothes and free beer.
In the bar all heads turn when she hikes up her skirt,
But the drugs and the drinks can’t disguise how she hurts,
What’s the problem, isn’t this what you envisioned?
.
Cause you can’t fill your crack, with each cock that you see,
How can you be so shocked that it hurts when you pee
Isn’t it all about having a ball,
So tuck your panties in your purse,
And bleeth, just bleeth,
Woah bleeth, just bleeth
.
There’s a life that you left and you want it again
But you shut those thoughts out when they pop the champagne
The attention you get, it’s a drug in your vein
There’s no chance of turning around.
.
2 AM and you’re throwing up in the back seat
Turn the stereo up to disguise my defeat
at this moment, wishing you’d put it behind you
But you’re lost to a world of hard abs and orange skin
Strutting peacocks with views of life so paper thin
Would you notice, how empty the trends you conform to
.
Cause you can’t fix your rep, with douchebags so unstable ,
Just reach for another cock, under the table
Beauty fades fast when you run at this pace
So spray on your bait once again.
and bleeth, just bleeth
woah bleeth, just bleeth,
oh bleeth, just bleeth.

1:41 pm March, 9 soy bomb said...

What can I say? These two belong together.
.
.
.
In a compost heap.

1:42 pm March, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

No one finances illegal cheap trips to Cuba better than Canadians. Brushcut Trapezius here smuggled onion-face Annie from Buffalo and they took off from Toronto via Air Lingus. What a deal! ITravel2000.com only charged $1209.00 for the whole trip. I mean 120 easy payments of $89.00/month. That’s less than a cup of coffee a day! Fucking Cubans.

1:44 pm March, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Apricot Brandy and her f*ck partner, Apricot Randy.

1:54 pm March, 9 Vin Douchal said...

I’d like to beat these two over the head with Anna Nalick, Marty McSorley, Pierre Cardin and any other ‘Nuck within grasping distance.
.
.
@ Mr S Head
.
I took a vicodin for a back spasm and was reading your words along with Anna’s video and I swear it was what she was singing up until the chorus…. good shit…. the vicodin…. and your parody…. blorghhh ..

1:55 pm March, 9 Crottenham said...

Hey Rev, it ain’t illegal from Canada…..btw, why aren’t Americans allowed to go there again……just askin’

2:05 pm March, 9 DarkSock said...

That was beautific, Scrotato Head.

2:06 pm March, 9 DarkSock said...

I bet they bleach their buttholes.

2:08 pm March, 9 SharpStick N' Eye said...

Nice work Scrotato Head, Bleeths need an anthem too.
I’m glad these two poostains found eachother. Gives hope for the rest of us single losers. And that last pic was a still from “World’s Deadliest Snatch”, right?
.
And I’d kick two home runs and score an icing just for the chance to sit in the same Lazy Boy SoccerPear’s Step-Uncle sits in to clip his toenails.

2:08 pm March, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Crottenham
.
They are communists that nationalized American interests after a revolution. You Sir, are not invited to Kroeger’s Jeopardy party on July 4th until you read some history. Son.. Perfectly legal for Canadians not for Americans going through Canada though.

.
And never watch Oprah when Garth Brooks is on when you are tripping. Son.

2:21 pm March, 9 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Srotato Head, your heart wrenching lyrics bring a tear to my eye. And that is one rough looking mug on the orange bleeth. The fake cans can’t make up for that.

2:33 pm March, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Magenta Bleeth above is what Magglio Ordóñez looks like after taking estrogen to hide steroid abuse.

Observe :
.

3:01 pm March, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Clay-colored Bleeth is doing 8 gram rocks of beta carotene and finishing them.
.

3:17 pm March, 9 DarkSock said...

Jugs of Clay

3:26 pm March, 9 Wedgie said...

I think they’re real. So does Jason Adler.

3:54 pm March, 9 DayGloGuido said...

It’s a Jersey thing….sorry…MING

4:41 pm March, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Hmmm!!!, Glorious Soccer Pear.

4:48 pm March, 9 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I had no idea Dark Sock liked Jar of Clay enough to allude to them as Jugs of Clay.

4:49 pm March, 9 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

And yes, it was good of DB1 to give us Soccer Pear.
She’s mighty kick-ass.

4:52 pm March, 9 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

As for that flexy boat net: Look what the cap’n and crew dragged in, New England cod and piece, er, codpiece.

4:53 pm March, 9 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I wuz gonna say Boston scrote, er, scrod, but obviosly they’re not anywhere near Boston.

5:14 pm March, 9 Mr. White said...

@scrotato head
You had me at “sex stains on her thighs.”

5:29 pm March, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Janna, Smokeshow of the day at Barstool from a while back… Wow, just wow:

Here
.
.

5:44 pm March, 9 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

@Mr. Scrotato Head 1:40

I love you.

5:54 pm March, 9 Steve L. said...

i’d hate to see this duo age.
.
fortunately, i probably won’t.

6:18 pm March, 9 Wedgie said...

I always had a thing for Valdosta.

6:48 pm March, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

The two of them entangled in the net explains the dead fishy smell coming from my laptop upon viewing this entry. I am compelled to climb one of those trees in back and start winging coconuts at these two coconuts.

9:06 pm March, 9 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Man she has more testosterone going than HE does. That is one fugly woman (is that really a woman?).

9:33 pm March, 9 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Scrotato Head
I would like to be that first guy in the slow clap applause finale in the John Hughes movie of your life.

9:36 pm March, 9 Baron Von Goolo said...

I’m actually pretty impressed by this pic. The musclebag seems like a friendly sort and I had no clue that Ron Perlman had such an amazing rack.

10:50 pm March, 9 Banana Hammock said...

her boobies remind me of a spring morning, her insect tats resurrect memories of a visit to a earthy hollow and that chuck meat wad reminds me that I was just on my way to take a dump…

11:28 pm March, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Frankie Avaschlong and Annette Funickhole star in their forth movie together, Bleach? Fake tits? Bingo!

11:46 pm March, 9 Wheezer said...

@Scrotato, 1:40 p.m. –
.
That, sir, was an absolute gem.

11:49 pm March, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Seriously though, this couple’s more disturbing then that episode of Ren & Stimpy where Ren had a son made out of egg yolks brought to life by a chicken carcass fairy that ran off to be an Elvis impersonator.
.
Remember how much you loved popcorn as a kid? How when you used to make it you’d melt a half stick of butter in the microwave and drizzle it all over until it became a soggy mess of buttery goodness? But then you spent the night at your schoolchum’s house, who’s parents were hippies and didn’t own a television. Instead they had you join them and their friends in the living room for “bluegrass night”, where they served you popcorn.
.
But this popcorn wasn’t right. Instead of butter, it was lightly coated with soy oil, because butter is cow slavery. And instead of salt, which propped up the zionist Israeli regime who oppresses the noble Palestinian peoples, it was sprinkled with brewer’s yeast. I don’t care what anybody says, that shit is disgusting and YOU DON’T PULL THAT SHIT ON AN INNOCENT CHILD!!!! I don’t care how rich it is in B vitamins and amino acids. It’s fucking nasty.
.
Remember how you can’t have popcorn without thinking back to that horrible, yeasty abomination, forever tainting your unadulterated love of popcorn? Well, that’s what this picture has done to my love of….anything. I don’t think I’ll be able to view another serene tropical beach without gagging. Thanks a lot assholes.

6:02 am March, 10 Tony Ventresca said...

I bet he’s the “strong silent type” and that’s why she loves him so much. I bet they’ve been “together” since high school.

6:09 am March, 10 Crottenham said...

Hey Rev me again, you forgot to add nationalized American mob interests……I read lots of history, point is what threat does saggy old Fidel pose to the big ole US of A today…….f all! Don’t get me started on American hegemony worldwide…..peace out, have another mojito!

6:47 am March, 10 I R A Darth Aggie said...

The bleeth is vaguely human. The fake tits give it away, tho. They’re probably on the east coast of Florida for spring break.
.
Do New Jersey technical schools have spring breaks?

7:03 am March, 10 Anonymous said...

Nice Futbol Pera. Olé, Olé, Olé, Olé!! O-lé, O-lé!!

7:07 am March, 10 Deltus said...

@Jacques: I never had that experience with hippie popcorn, but your prose was so expressive, just reading it has tainted my love of popcorn. So, I guess I’m saying both kudos, and damn you.

8:43 am March, 10 DarkSock said...

Ms. Sock had used my Highlander, so when I got in it again it was on some adult alternative station instead of my wigged out mix CD, and lo and behold “2 AM” came on. I grinned verily. Vin needs to re-record this song with Scrotato’s lyrics. You’ll make tens of dollars.
.
.
I don’t know how, but I intend to use “Winging Coconuts” 10 times in casual conversation today with peers and clients. “Porch Beef” was more challenging. Son.

9:16 am March, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Public Display of Double Biceps Pose (PDDBP) = Autto

2:27 pm March, 10 DarkSock said...

Only worked in 2 coconuts thus far.
.
.
.
^that’s what she said

3:11 pm March, 10 Stephanie said...

Well,maybe the sharks will be biting…and no,that’s not me,shoveling the blood,and hamburger into the ocean to draw the sharks…that must be someone else.

4:10 am March, 11 Motorcycle Accessories said...

I read lots of history, point is what threat does saggy elderly Fidel pose to the large ole US of A todayâ all! Don’t get me started on American hegemony worldwide

7:04 am March, 11 Wheezer said...

“Accessories”? BAH!
Bring back “Motorcycle Parts”!
Copycats are scrote.

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