Thursday, March 10, 2011

Reader Mail: Kanye, Liv and Fashionbaggery

‘Bag huntress Anabelle writes in with an important celebutag:

———–

*gets herself together*

*vomits*

In a perversion of fashion, art imitates life imitates all that is rancid and douche. Fashion has always been a ridiculous circus, and Liv Tyler ALMOST ruined my favorite sci-fi book of all time so I hate her anyway (thank you William Gibson, for dodging that bullet), but I stumbled across this on the internet and it hit me in a really visceral way that the war against douche has only just begun.

Kanye West and Liv Tyler were caught wearing the same EdHardy inspired, GIVENCHY designed t-shirt during Paris fashion week.

DB1, is this a freak incident or are we bound to see more respectable, ground-breaking, classy designers go the way of the Grieco?

Unsettled
Wants to Unsee

– Anabelle
—–

It is a sign that our war on the douchepocalypse is entering a dangerous and ominous time, ‘bag huntress. But for the shout-out to William Gibson and the important work you’re doing in mocking from afar, do not give up hope.

We fight on. Together.

# posted by douchebag1
11:36 am March, 10 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

She’s looking more and more like her father every day.

11:36 am March, 10 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

This is not a good thing.

11:41 am March, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Kanye West and Sean Combs need both be beaten unconscious , wrapped up in a rug and dropped down the deepest hole in the Grand Canyon.
.
At the precise moment of the >> Poof! << when they hit the bottom, music in America will improve by 7%

11:44 am March, 10 Vin Douchal said...

@ Annabelle
.
Are you Anabelle from Flashy Babes?

11:45 am March, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Try again : Annabelle

11:50 am March, 10 Anonymous said...

There is a sudden and disagreeable taste of vomitus in my mouth.

11:54 am March, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

…..and an owl were flying above me. Terrified as he always was of my owl he must be remembered only with wrath and vengeance. Vengeance from the great lord above in the fixed circle of the stars. He is growing weary of the chase. The chase for Snooki and her twin the SnufFleupagaus is now gone to space, being lurked by intergalactic soldiers with bales of manure and herpes scabs, Snooki disguises her self as a cowpig and starts to laugh. Just then, out of the ground came the mummy, the legend, The Ayatollah of Fuccle, Ted Nugent. Tommy Shaw takes the pubic hairs out of his teeth, smokes some crack, haS A CPOUPLA PINTS, and rages onto to the stage with the intense fury of a cougar. REO Speedwagon what? I’m not touring with that Gowan faggut and Styx again you self-righcheous cunt. Last time they tried to give me a wedgie and instead I mouthed them in the balls the faggotts. Fucking freezing rain never ends. Alone by myself with no one around except the fuccking roofers down the street. I was a roofer going to university. Put the new roof on the Bank on canada I did with 40 other people. Goodtimes. Lucien was only ten days off of his construction job because of rotten french teeth cause by years of drinking caribou blood and homestyle gin when he realized that Celine Dion was leaving Canada. Sacre-Blue Mon ami de la St. Bernarie-au-Riere du la Grotto du St. Joseph avec une diasrote pour le-Bishop de Notre-Dame-ce-foie-gras. Once we left Quebec we were strong in our fellowship and full in our contentment. Frenchman. We carried on with General brock to burn the original white haouse down. Sorry. Did anyone ever eat a black puss and get hairburn on their face. Good Eatin’ just a little rough. Enough about girls shaving. Lauren Holly looks like shit.
.
Damn Alzheimer’s. Son.

.

11:56 am March, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

A list of people that need to exempted from a Geneva Conventions and then set on fire:
.
Kanye West
Sean Combs
Liv Tyler
Denis Leary
Dane Cook
All mimes
Gary Bettman (fuccker ruined my all-time favorite game)
the NBA (and everything to do with it)
Chelsea FC
All Chelsea FC fans
Roman Abramovich
The NY Yankmees
Anybody who ever desires to play for the Yankmees
ALL NY Yankmees fans
Nic Ritchie
Perez Hilton
Anybody who plays the race card to get ahead
the KKK
Nazis
Fundmentalists (of ANY kind)
anyone who lacks personal responsibility
Justin Bieber
Miley Cyrus
Michael Vick
Michael Moore
.
I know I’ve missed about a million or so people so feel free to add to the list.

11:57 am March, 10 Mr. White said...

Note to Liv: People generally don’t care what you wear, as long as they can see your rack. This outfit fails.

12:16 pm March, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Well, Ed Hardy uses a tiger head on a black shirt, so this is original, unique, and totally non-derivative.
.
Kinda sad when your goal is to cash in on a trend that is already an abortional cliche.

12:18 pm March, 10 Wedgie said...

Liv:
Less is more. Next time, wear a miniskirt and halter top. Or not.
But this outfit sucks, and not just because that other dickwad is wearing it too.

12:20 pm March, 10 Wedgie said...

Dr.Bunsen:
Can I add the entire state legislature from California to your list?

12:23 pm March, 10 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Vin, bad links. Anabelle from Flashy Babes ? I got a half a chubby just anticipating her pic. don’t tease me, bro.

12:28 pm March, 10 Wheezer said...

Right-click on Vin’s links and then open in a new window.
.
Just don’t do that at work…..

12:29 pm March, 10 Wheezer said...

I love dogs, but that short simply doesn’t work. Liv, take it off.
.
Puff Kanye, strangle yourself on her discarded douche shirt.

12:30 pm March, 10 Wheezer said...

shirt*
.
Fuccen WordPress and no trash can…..and my shitty proofreading. (Yes, I noticed my “sad trAmbone” earlier…..)

12:39 pm March, 10 The Dude said...

Liv Tyler’s lips are so plump they need a wonder bra.

12:40 pm March, 10 The Dude said...

Liv Tyler’s lips are so plump they need a Hall of Scrote category: Plumpy

12:40 pm March, 10 The Dude said...

Liv Tyler’s lips are so plump it doesn’t matter if you can see her rack or not.

12:59 pm March, 10 Deltus said...

I still love Liv Tyler, for she is tasty gnaw thigh hump grunt lick hottie gooditude. I can forgive her the shirt. But, as mentioned above, next time dress for the sexy, not the avant garde.

1:01 pm March, 10 soy bomb said...

Further proof that many of the “artists” in Hollywood slavishly follow trends, not create them.

1:17 pm March, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

Celebubags who let their stylists determine what’s “fashionable” and then cloth said celebubag in those articles of clothing should be added to Dr. Bunsens list.
.
People who depict Rottweilers as viscous dangerous dogs should also be added to the list. Having had a Rott when I was a young Et Tu I can tell you they are a very smart dog and if trained correctly are one of the better breeds of dogs to own. Voice & hand signaled trained by a K-9 department friend of the local authorities she was a great dog and never a threat to anyone in the neighborhood. Well trained dogs rule!!!!! People who train their dogs to fight suck!!!

1:21 pm March, 10 Organic Alpaca Nutrition said...

Those T-shirts are horrible.
If your herd is listless and depressed, we are now offering our alpaca wheat germ concentrate (with supplemental Zoloftreg;.) Order today, and we’ll send you, at no extra charge, a t-shirt you can wear proudly.

1:27 pm March, 10 smackdouche said...

@vin douchal
Anabelle bears an amazing resemblance to the very delicious Edith LaBelle–former UFC ring girl. If we were at a bar, this is where I would lead you to believe that I’m a fighter.

1:28 pm March, 10 Hold Me Closer Tiny Douchebag said...

@Organic Alpaca Nutrition, I’ll take two shirts please. I don’t need the other stuff, my herd is fine.
.
I hate that dog shirt more than I hate the song “Who Let the Dogs Out” and twice as much as I hate Kanye West. And I agree with Et Tu on the villification of Rotts instead of the Rott owners.

1:45 pm March, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev, your magnum opus is coming along well. I’ve laughed, wept, and at one point sharted myself and for me that is the sign of a good read. Can’t wait for the next installment until then I’m gonna order some Alpaca Wheat Germ concentrate & goat and sheep lubricants just to take advantage of the t-shirt offer which I will use, once it arrives discreetly packaged of course, to wipe my arse due to the heretofore mentioned sharting incident and then re wrap it discreetly to mail it to Kanyes’ personal stylist.

1:54 pm March, 10 Hermit said...

@ Kroeger,
Thank you for sharing your slow descent into madness, it is as compelling as it is disturbing.

2:08 pm March, 10 Hermit said...

BTW, I wonder what mental institution CBS ended up in. That dude was awesome.

2:11 pm March, 10 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

thanks Weezer. great, now I have yet another smut site to surf at work. its a mystery why I can’t seem to get anything done.

2:12 pm March, 10 Hold Me Closer Tiny Douchebag said...

@Hermit, good ol’ CBS. He definitely had some quotables. Lots of violent imagery and gay sheep theories. That dude was from Canada right? What’s in the water up there? MapleWeedBeer Syrup?

2:16 pm March, 10 DarkSock said...

^…slow???

2:18 pm March, 10 DarkSock said...

Why are these people wearing t-shirts in public bearing photos of Plinky’s Mom’s junk?

2:18 pm March, 10 DarkSock said...

And where did Plinky go?

2:19 pm March, 10 Hold Me Closer Tiny Douchebag said...

Actually the only semi sane sounding Canadian I’ve come across on this thing is the people’s anthropologist and all around solid dude, Sir David Douchenborough. He’s got a Vespa, and uses the term penny farthing, what’s not to love?

2:55 pm March, 10 Anabag Tag said...

@ Vin Douchal

Nice detective work. What tipped you off? Was it the reference to Neuromancer? The ability to actually recognize meta-douchebaggery at play? Because if that doesn’t scream sex model at 19, I don’t what does.

xoxo

2:59 pm March, 10 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Are you Anabelle from Flashy Babes?
.
I hope so. BUNK!

3:01 pm March, 10 Stephanie said...

Or how about this” “It’s just an ugly fucking shirt”.

3:20 pm March, 10 Anabag Tag said...

I wonder how much more a Givenchy ugly fucking shirt costs than an Ed Hardy one? For those of you in Norway, Givency’s Italian designer Riccardo Tisci created a very similar sweater. For all the scrotes who prefer the feel of cashmere against their shaved pubis, cause Lord knows we ladies love to suck cock with taste LOLZ
xoxo

5:48 pm March, 10 Steve L. said...

i’m glad i’m fashion illiterate.

9:42 pm March, 10 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Son-of-a-gun, if it isn’t “BITCH STOLE MY LOOK!!!”
We’ll be seein’ them soon on Joan Rivers’ FASHION POLICE.

9:53 pm March, 10 soy bomb said...

Stephanie…I must admit…I’m a big fan of your straightfoward mocking style. Keep it up. You’re like a douche battering ram. Big fan.

4:07 am March, 11 Motorcycle Accessories said...

I can tell you they are a clever dog and if trained correctly are one of the better breeds of canines to own. Voice & hand signaled trained by a K-9 department mate of the local authorities they was a great dog and never a threat to somebody in the neighborhood.

7:05 am March, 11 Mr. Biggs said...

Wait. I thought the hip Hollywood celebrities are against pitbull fighting? What are they doing wearing these shirts?
Oh that’s right. There’s a reason we laugh dismissively at everything they say.

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