Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Sven Counts to Two
Although, technically, so is Julie.
Using her boobs.
I needed to spell that joke out.
Because it’s early, and your humble narrator is scratchy.
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
Log In / Sign Up
Not a member ? Join Us Now
Archives
- September 2023
- August 2022
- June 2022
- February 2022
- September 2021
- January 2021
- October 2020
- August 2020
- June 2020
- April 2020
- January 2020
- June 2019
- April 2019
- January 2019
- December 2018
- August 2018
- April 2018
- February 2018
- January 2018
- December 2017
- October 2017
- August 2017
- June 2017
- March 2017
- January 2017
- December 2016
- November 2016
- September 2016
- August 2016
- July 2016
- June 2016
- May 2016
- March 2016
- February 2016
- January 2016
- December 2015
- November 2015
- October 2015
- September 2015
- August 2015
- July 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- May 2005
- April 2005
- March 2005
- February 2005
- January 2005
Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
-----------
Sienna Miller sure can pull some Scandislavian Nordic bag.
.
Sven of the wet-hair and shirtless vest has fallen far from the heights of his Viking ancestors. The closest he gets to Viking glory now is the glory hole he man’s during pre-season in a restroom at Mall of America Field in Minnesota.
Anybody ever noticed that a hat makes a hott even hotter? Like, by 1 point, or even 2 in some cases. Why is that?
.
Usually when it’s a cowboy hat, or a ballcap, but even a hat like Julie’s wearing can lead to the Hat Wearing Hott Enhancement (or HWHE).
.
This requires further study. And by study, I mean searching out pics of hotts wearing hats (hatts?) and masturbating to them.
Heidi Klum’s younger sister can sure pull some Euro-Brad Pitt bag.
@deltus
I have a theory: All of the hats you describe are more typically men’s hats, so the hott wearing such a hat evokes the fantasy of her taking it off your head and wearing it as a sign of affection/lust, and the promise of the possibility of nookie.
.
In some cultures, wearing a man’s hat indicates that she would accept anal from said man. FACT.
Um….Julie is really not that hot…hat or not…But Sven is still a douche..
Julie looks like Courtney Thorne-Smith’s worn out younger sister.
Not Brad Pitt, exactly. More like the guy on SNL portraying Brad Pitt on the Jeff Bridges episode. Bahw.
Did he just receive a swirly from a bully douche at this club? She is exhibiting hover hand and “Not that into him” torso leanaway. That means she’s good to go other douches, begin the game throwin’ and drink buyin’ process now.
.
@Deltus, I would agree with Mr. White as to the explanation of your HWHE theory, with the exclusion of the anal clause (Anal Clause, Santa’s dirty little secret). Anyway, I know when I put on my Hockey Mask/welding helmet/Backwards Ballcap (Go Local Sports Team) I get threefold the cat calls and “Sit on my Face” offers I normally get. Then again, I live next to Dock/Lumber Yard which is always under Construction.
Wow. I hope one day when I get out of the hospital she will Tuts My Barrah. That questionably male character just needs to Prepare to Die. Dr. Bunsen? Calling Dr. Bunsen? Dr.? Mr.Bunsen?
I needed to spell that joke out.
.
Nah, I was just way ahead of yah, boss. I hope to be able to teach her how to count to twenty with her nipples (and fingers).
I concur with M.E. @8:04, total hover hand and look of regret / queasiness over getting too close to greaseball.
he had a cheat sheet that was going to let him get to three but it was in the hat julie stole…
She’s so Euro,,,,,,
FWAP.
That’s no hott, it’s John Darling from Peter Pan
http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/6500000/John-Darling-peter-pan-6584937-300-237.jpg
I want to believe her fun bags are real I really do but alas I’d only be kidding myself.
.
I’m in agreement with Deltus’s HHWE theory and Mr. Whites succinct follow up to said theory. Good work gentlemen.
@ Rev Chad
.
You rang? How’s the day been going?
.
I believe Mr. White was looking for the phrase “Hi you have a great ass. Would you mind if I wear it as a hat?” Or in the immortal words of The Geek “A girl in a hat is so… is so… vogue.”
At first glance I found Julie somewhat captivating. Further inspection slightly reduced her allure based on the slowly turning cogs of my brain this morning. Isn’t she merely a female version of Sven? I’d still, unquestionably, do her though. Sheesh, modern living…
Absence of the obvious bleethiness indicates that there is a chance that those perky mounds of mam flesh are indeed real. I volunteer a invasive motorboating. I also volunteer a soccer cleat to Sven’s crown.
WTF? My hair looks just like his right now.
.
Of course, I’ve been sick and just got out of bed. The other difference is that I’ll be showering with soap, shampoo and water instead of Axe, and I will be grooming my hair before I go outside.
She has a pre-botox Nicole Kidman thing going on. If I could only get the stain of Tom Cruise off of her, she would be most edible.
Sven has to make a Vee-sign to get us to look at his Vee-neck shirt, but that’s what happens when chicks with scoop neck shirts and plump cones bust, er, hone in on the photo-action.
I would not have gotten the joke, so thank you boss for spelling that out for me.
That Sienna Miller sure can pull that vintage Kato Kaelin-looking bag.
The only test he passes is the one for herpes.
Taylor Hawkins of Foo Fighters is a douche? No. Can’t happen.
Must be all the Jager and Letterman appearances.
@Deltus, RE: HWHE
One thing that really gets my Segway® goin’ is the sight of a Hott in a Shitty Car (HISC). I think both theories are related. Like the Hott is totally down to earth if she’s in a shit car and maybe she won’t be too freaked out when I corner her in a darkened alley.