Monday, March 28, 2011

Tapless in Seattle

I sense a wacky rom-com written by an Ephron and with a score by Harry Connick Jr. At some point Rosie O’Donnell will show up and make wisecracks.

And then I will commit seppuku.

# posted by douchebag1
11:05 am March, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

Lamprey eels are a lot hairier than I thought.

11:07 am March, 28 Bigphatnotadouche said...

I’d hit miss perky.
I’d tapout the kissy blind douche with a fence post.

11:08 am March, 28 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Kelly looks about the same, but Regis just looks different somehow with the glasses.

11:11 am March, 28 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Are we sure this guy is even human? I get this lipstick on a mannequin vibe from him.

11:15 am March, 28 Douchble Helix said...

Bad link here, boss.

11:27 am March, 28 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Subutex is a drug used to help people fight narcotic addicttion- I’m just saying

Is wearing Tapout gear a flag that you like to recieve anla pleasure? I thought I read that somewhere.

12:02 pm March, 28 That girl said...

Here we go again. Some chick with a Fedora. Must suck to be a follower. Although, he looks likes he could suck a golfball out of a garden hoes. Ho!

12:13 pm March, 28 jonezy said...

These home pics always carry an extra gravity to their cringeworthiness as I always conclude that the douche does in fact get to bang the Hott.
.
In the common club scene pic, it is often questionable if there is an actual physical aspect to the relationship.
.
Not so here. This guy actually plays lead bongos on super Hotty Blondie’s fedora laden Bazzazoos. He literally gets to tap them out.
.
And that is infuriating.

12:16 pm March, 28 skrag2112 said...

Its the Doucheinator! Created in the evil laboratories of AXE, he searches for Sarah Conner hotties. Bud Light Lime and Grey Goose vodka are his fuel sources. Watch for him in ‘Doucheinator 2: Pud-ment Day’.

12:19 pm March, 28 skrag2112 said...

‘Doucheinator 3: Rise Of The Latrines’

12:20 pm March, 28 skrag2112 said...

‘Doucheinator: Salivation’

12:21 pm March, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

His version of a “TapOut” is when he puts his black patent leathers, spreads some rock salt generously about, on and goes all Sammy Davis Jr. across the kitchen linoleum.
.
She giggles. A lot. Uncontrollably in fact. And when he starts to talk dirty to her it becomes a full blown belly laugh and she puts her hand in front of her face and shakes it back and forth. He finds it best to put a sock in her mouth to get things done.
.
Which is the only time I’ve ever agreed with a docuhebage on anything.

12:23 pm March, 28 Banana Hammock said...

Prim Example of HCwDB… BRAVO!

12:25 pm March, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This is one of those “candid” shots that Timmy’s mom took before his first day at pre-school. She let him pick his own clothes, fix his hair himself like a big boy, thought it a little weird that he wanted to put on some of his sister’s lipstick but hey, what the hell, stole Gammy B’s sunglasses because they were “slammin'”, and then put his hat on his big sister while the picture was taken. Later it was learned that Timmy died an unspeakable death at the hands of the other children at the school. It seems they decided to play “smear the queer” at recess and Timmy was, well, you know what he was during the game. The only thing left of him to collect that day was a fragment of bloody shirt and part of a six pound watch with some sort of pustule attached to it.

12:27 pm March, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He may be related to Joey Porsche. And by related I mean, fucck off.

12:27 pm March, 28 Banana Hammock said...

Would someone put this platypus out of his misery? I will take it upon myself to remove her fedora the ol fashioned way…………..

12:44 pm March, 28 Wheezer said...

Hith frothty lipthtick ith tho pretty! Thtop it!

12:46 pm March, 28 Wheezer said...

My goodness, if this is a hottie performing a ‘bag tag, I will marry her. Now.
.
It’s what I tell myself as a matter of self-consolation.

12:52 pm March, 28 Mockarena said...

Gynochin’s EVEN douchier brother, Tan Gynochin or Gynochintan as he is referred to at his local circle jerk. She’s got a weird uneven eye thing going on (Doc B, there’s your lead in conversation starter with this hottie.)
@banana hammock, do tell, how do you remove a hat the old fashioned way?

1:12 pm March, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

For some reason seeing this pic has really gotten to me stirring up sad & negative emotions. I found myself questioning how things in society have gone so horribly wrong. I weep for the future and hope for a return to some semblance of sanity. The social malaise that marketing and programming along with so called “social media” has wrought on the youth is a shame.

1:19 pm March, 28 diedouche said...

I can’t believe she would let her dad dress up like that for pictures. How embarrassing.

2:18 pm March, 28 Anonymous said...

That hair looks like something you might find at a country to clean your golf spike before entering the clubhouse. Or perhaps a new tool to scrape dog shit from your shoes after stepping in it.

3:22 pm March, 28 Wedgie said...

She reminds me of that one Sheen-goddess. Minus the facial splatter, of course. But it’s early yet.

3:25 pm March, 28 DarkSock said...

Arnold Shorts’n’pecker, in The Sperminator, delivering his iconic line: “I’ll be bare-back”.

6:25 pm March, 28 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Cyclops is working with Dr. Xavier on developing a second mutant power. I’m sketchy on the details, but it involves a hyper-enlarged cranium and a popped collar.

7:44 pm March, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I wonder if his cooties run little races all around that continuous white track which is otherwise known as “Max Headroom’s honorary eyeglasses rims,” while he puckers up to woo them on; and smiley Blondie is oblivious to the whole enterprise.

7:49 pm March, 28 soy bomb said...

This fellow looks like a great candidate for receiving a face-stabbing from a freshly sharpened machete.

8:34 pm March, 28 iDouche said...

Ok, right, ahem.

So we trawl through the pics and post some witty stuff to big ourselves up to our anonymous virtual mockmates, but right here is where we have to get serious again.
This is what this site is all about, cheeky little sack bunnies with rancid poo

10:59 am March, 29 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

I’m guessing this is from a HCWDB or jerz shore theme party. Too many douchetributes to be real: tapout, collar pop, spray tan, proton glasses, kissy lips, fence hair?

Ironobaggery, no doubt about it.

5:01 pm March, 31 douchetastic said...

this is from a halloween party, not real.

8:08 pm April, 6 Hahaha-sad said...

Good stuff boys, you sweet little bloggers. You sure are a bunch of angry masturbaters and self-molesters… It’s a slippery slope and a long climb back into normal society.

I’m the DB in the picture, and yes, it was a Halloween party. I hope internet kiddie-porn is keeping you boys warm in the privacy of mom and dad’s basement.

Godspeed

Memphis and douchetastic – good eye

8:20 pm April, 6 Rolling Mocks said...

@Hahaha-sad, I doubt you needed to dress up much to go as a douche. And I’m a girl and I live above ground. I’m just on here to talk to an idiot I met awhile back. Oh yeah and to make fun of you, you fuckin’ tool.

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