Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Text Harrison

So as we come down from the monthly, here’s a friendly tip: Texting while picture posing with the girls from the local trade school = autodouche.

Now granted Text Harrison was already autodouche. But the larger point about texting needed to be made.

# posted by douchebag1
11:57 am March, 16 Vin Douchal said...

totally f*ing short btch in ths shot. she swallows LOL! last night got f*ked up blew me in truck. peace out ttyl

12:00 pm March, 16 Vin Douchal said...

my boy Rance got blubllz, bitch rubbed his zipper but didn’t put out* 🙁 told him Jaeger baby!! LMAO!

12:01 pm March, 16 Nancy Dreuche said...

Word on this one, DB1. Texts should also not go for more than 3 screens. Like so you have to label them 1 of 3, so on and so forth. That’s called an essay or an email. I’ve got limited texts and if you’re gonna send me your fuckin’ thesis statement, I’m not wasting my money reading that ish. Oh wait, my text plan is unlimited. Usually things can be summed up in a sentence or two, except for apparently my little diatribe I just wrote there.

12:11 pm March, 16 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I believe his text says “bra, at the nickleback show early. two hoes for me, only one for jason. Axe spray works again. lol”

12:12 pm March, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Just to get off topic a bit… Do these bleeths work at some sort of secret Disney World strip club where tips are accepted in the currency of bukkake? Say I have a nice meal and the service is good. Is the standard 15% tip 5 squirts of magenta colored paste or is it 3 heaping blasts of blue? Is there some kind of chart or conversion table that lets me know so I don’t commit a terrible social faux pas? And then that begs the question about how do the ladies tip? What if you’re not a squirter? This can get really complicated fast.

12:15 pm March, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Douche is checking his alpaca lube futures. It appears that things are squirting up nicely.

12:20 pm March, 16 Vin Douchal said...

F*k yeah, on intraweb site w my bro and btchs. BTW, i m regular again, docs meds made me shit twice this morn, said 2 give up pot. uh, no bra, spleefs 4ever LMFAO!

12:23 pm March, 16 Wheezer said...

Vin’s text messages FTW!
.
And I must express surprise that the bros’ shades don’t match the ladies’. You’d think they’d be into the pink rims.

12:30 pm March, 16 fatness said...

Short brunie in the middle has a world-class back arch going, but it still isn’t enough to get those skeeterbites of hers to poke out. Keep tryin’, hon.
.
Blondie on the left intrigues me. Once Bryce drags his bra off for a little pre-show workout behind the concession stand, I’ll have to see what’s under that halter.

12:35 pm March, 16 Nancy Dreuche said...

Eight months now since I got my tight little cooter pounded. Why do guys insist on anal with obese shut-ins.

12:43 pm March, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

“bra! met these 3 total skanks last nite. bought ’em all ho-bag shirts and shades at walmart if they’d do a girl on girl sho. they were totally into it. got to ditch ’em now tho. think they might be under 17!11!”

12:52 pm March, 16 jonezy said...

I thought maybe this was going to be a “Where’s Sleeve-do?”, Can you find them? edition

12:54 pm March, 16 The Minister Scott Stapp said...

Those girls look real skanky. I mean that as both a compliment and an erection.

12:55 pm March, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

Long tall Sally on the left looks she would be deceptively naughty in the wrapper maybe if Text Harrison wasn’t exacerbating his ADD and paid attention he might be able to strike up a conversation with the intent of getting to know her better. The sad thing is I don’t see that happening anytime soon.
.
I lament that texting has become such a omnipresent tool for communicating in essence it’s just small talk and small talk is weak. I believe it has dumbed society and for the most part it’s just utter nonsensical drivel. I could go on a long Rev Chad type diatribe on this subject but alas it’s not worth the aggravation it would cause me.
.
Spring time head colds suck!!!
.
Son!!!!!!!!!!!

12:58 pm March, 16 Wedgie said...

PTP Hotties are faking it anyway. Matching tops & sunglasses tell the story. Dudely is probably texting his other boyfriend to set up their next rendezvous at Club Rub-a-Dub.
Silly gaybag, Tricks are for kids.

12:59 pm March, 16 Nancy Dreuche said...

@troll me,12:35p, how did you make our name red? Anywho, I knew it was just a matter of time. And shows what you know, its been waaaaay longer then 8mos. And I’ll have to get back to you on the anal/obese/shut-in theory. Next time it would be cool if you make the link go to a midget porn website. Inside joke, am I right? Wink and whatnot.

2:06 pm March, 16 Deltus said...

He was receiving a very important love text from his boyfriend, he can hardly be faulted for not paying any attention to these icky girls while they’re posing.

2:23 pm March, 16 soy bomb said...

u wuld not bbeeelive wat teh gurls r lyke at myrtle beech for spring brake bro. teye re totally gonna meat up with skeeter and me 4 after ours party at dennyz 2nyte. its gona b epoch!!!1!!!! LOL

2:46 pm March, 16 Vin Douchal said...

Meds wrkg toogood. fart w lump has rockt my werld. ew!LOL! wite pntz with the shitz = no bueno , moochachos. smlz like low tide

3:15 pm March, 16 Vin Douchal said...

2 f*ed up 2 drink. Shtz are destroying my a**hole. f*en mex food gave me mary zoomas revenge LOL! p u ! yuck! Latr- gotta poop agen

3:26 pm March, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Soy Bomb
.
Your “fake” text is nearly identical to most of the emails I get from my students. No shit. Being an “educator” (spins around wildly trying to determine who I am talking about and then realizes it is myself. * hangs head in shame*) I couldn’t help myself and corrected the damn things. It was a Pavlovian response. “Oooooooohhhh look, something is wrong, I have to fix it.” That was until a student emailed me back asking why I corrected words that he hadn’t misspelled. Now, I suck at spelling (see most of my posts here as evidence) and if I can tell you’re wrong, you’re fuccked. The kid honestly believed that he was right and wasn’t trying to be an ass (like yours truly usually is). That was the day I said fucck it. If I can’t read it, I can’t respond to it or grade it.

6:14 pm March, 16 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Realized he brought a hard-on instead of a hard-hat to the construction zone, texting a message to get those damn helmets over here.

6:16 pm March, 16 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Well, we certainly know what “trade” those broads are up to, but we haven’t a clue as to what the menschen are stud-y-ing.

6:17 pm March, 16 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Wow, Harrison Steel in Attica sure has changed from its early foundry days.

8:11 pm March, 16 The Dude said...

How rude! Purse your lips! Son.

This is a douchetrosity.

Does wingman get autodouche?

11:18 pm March, 16 Stephanie said...

I’ve gotta invent an instant phone and texting zapper for these types. And carry it around like a little remote…

12:23 am March, 17 Motorcycle Accessories said...

I âm not wasting my money reading that ish. Oh wait, my text plan is countless. Usually things can be summed up in a sentence or one, except for apparently my little diatribe I wrote there.

11:53 am March, 17 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

The test he was reading:

Herpes results r in-the prescrip will be ready at 4

XOXO Mom

11:53 am March, 17 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Damn text I mean text

4:51 pm March, 17 Fan Club said...

@Stephanie, We love you! No one else consistently kills it like you do.

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