Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Happy Bieberbag

Short, happy and hair feathered is no way to go through life, son. Sure it may attract Paid-to-Pose bosoms of largesse. But the Biebpocalypse is only going to get worse. And your future kids will laugh at your old photobook.

# posted by douchebag1
4:22 pm March, 16 Wedgie said...

That’s his Mom.

4:23 pm March, 16 Wedgie said...

And she’s still nursing him. Lucky little prick.

4:38 pm March, 16 Cabo San Pukeass said...

Is this Zyzz before all of the intense workouts with his broheims? Mirren him with his drinkie, but don’t get too mad or jelly because she is paid to be there.

4:38 pm March, 16 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

“Take Your Child To Work Day” is celebrated at Richards Rendezvous Gentlemens Club.

4:41 pm March, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Wedgie
.
That explains a lot. You can’t grow very tall when your diet consists of silicone, Red Bull, Goose, cigarettes, meth, semen, and bleach. Sure there’s lots of shit in cigarettes and semen has lots of sugars and protein but it’s hardly enough to raise a child on. I actually think she was saving up for a puppy, “accidentally” got preggers, fell a few bucks short for the abortion money, and then decided she would keep it and dress it up like she would the dog anyway. Hell, the fur looks the same way as it would.

4:47 pm March, 16 banana hammock said...

It took me three minutes to notice that trouser puppet… She is smokin’!

4:49 pm March, 16 The Minister Scott Stapp said...

Secret weapon Mahmoud “Tiny” Ghaddafi is really the world’s smallest African/Arab spy.

4:51 pm March, 16 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

Stop pointing at me, Sanjaya. I am trying to leer at your mom’s tits.

4:52 pm March, 16 Vin Douchal said...

T’was a fuzzy ForeignBag with fleas
Dating a Bleeth with advanced STD’s
Put his meds in the drink
‘Cause he’s on the brink
Of de-evolving back into a monkey

5:22 pm March, 16 Troy Tempest said...

You see women like that for a while and then they disappear. Where do they go? What do they turn into? do they just get fat and frayed? It’s kind of like the opposite of baby pigeons. You never see baby pigeons. Only the grey grizzled sky rats. And you never see old bleeths. Do they disappear into thin air? Do they get the implants removed and settle into a dreary life of suburban regret?

5:52 pm March, 16 MoeDouche said...

That guy can’t be taller than 4ft because her hand looks as big as his face!?! Or she is a tranny.

5:55 pm March, 16 fatness said...

Her boob is as big as his face. And I’d like to park my face on her boob.

6:00 pm March, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

What the fuck is up with his arm? It’s harrier than Khloe Kardashian’s bung hole. And the dental mirror on a chain?!? Is that so he can peep the underside of his scrote while he throttles the bishop?

6:05 pm March, 16 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Great. They pay the surgeon to get bigger tits, then someone pays them to pose to show off the big tits they paid for.
Boob-a-nomics.
Oh, he’s on the edge of kiddie-porn, better do something about that.

6:07 pm March, 16 Douchble Helix said...

That’s more like a simian-bag.

6:26 pm March, 16 UFO Destroyers said...

I can’t tell if she’s got hands like Art Donovan or Dick Butkis. I know she’s got the airbags from the Russian spacecraft that landed yesterday.

6:59 pm March, 16 Blair said...

Ma’am, I’m sorry but if your son is under 21, he can’t be in the bar.

6:59 pm March, 16 Vin Douchal said...

Yeah, this gal’s boobs are science fiction. She looks like Sharktopus fucked the Goodyear blimp.
.
You want to see perfect breasts check out Arianna from one of Barstool’s smokeshow thingies:
.

.
More: HERE

7:00 pm March, 16 Vin Douchal said...

Shit! try again

7:01 pm March, 16 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I’m almost positive that this is Brazilian Emo Hulk before the silicone implants.

7:08 pm March, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Vin
I know this is gonna sound crazy, but those don’t look right to me. I think it’s because puppies that perky are normally also higher up.

7:44 pm March, 16 Noble Pils said...

that’s the bleeth from the last Kleenex Mafia pic

8:17 pm March, 16 Wedgie said...

Vin:
I never heard of Lynn University. Is that by Gagg State?

8:23 pm March, 16 Earth said...

@Noble, you are right, it looks like Blee$ha. I don’t think I can top the Sanjaya or trouser puppet burns though. Earth knows its limits. Too soon?

9:07 pm March, 16 creature said...

Peaches craps better lookin’ turds

9:17 pm March, 16 fatness said...

@Noble Pils, 7:44 pm. Damn, you’re right!

11:10 pm March, 16 Wheezer said...

Noble Pils (7:44 p.m.) definitely tagged that bleeth.
.
WTF? Kleenex Mafia choads are Canadian, Bieber’s Canadian…..Hey Troy? You’re packing heat, right?
.
Buy a grenade launcher instead.
.
.
.
.
.
And Vin? You are going to pay for all of my medical bills resulting from the persistent fatigue I’m putting my wrist/forearm muscles and tendons through. The strain is unbearable now, but I can’t stop fuccen fappin’! One would think I’d look like Popeye by now, though…..

11:11 pm March, 16 Stephanie said...

I’m pretty sure that if you put coal in between her breasts she can make a diamond,in about a day. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

12:20 am March, 17 Motorcycle Accessories said...

A couple of bucks short for the abortion funds, and then decided they would keep it and dress it up like they would the dog anyway. Hell, the fur looks the same way as it would.

3:48 am March, 17 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

A stage-1 Hobbitbag is indeed quite the find:

“Hobbits are between two and four feet (0.61–1.22 m) tall, the average height being three feet six inches (1.07 m). They dress in bright colours, favouring yellow and green….Their feet and hands are covered with curly hair (usually brown, as was the hair on their heads) with leathery soles, so most Hobbits hardly ever wear shoes.” -Wikipedia

4:07 am March, 17 tall guy said...

With the exception of the young dude’s nervous smile, nothing in the photo looks authentic. Sheesh, i bet the drink’s even a knockoff brand. She’d run to seed fairly quickly I reckon.

4:36 am March, 17 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Slumdouche Millionaire? All he needs is some bros and hgh, and he is well on his way to mirin with the supposedly mavericky musclebags.

Do they disappear into thin air?

I like to think that they come from the Bleethaverse and can only exist for a certain period of time. When that time is up, Bleeth space time collides with our own due to the electromagnetic emissions from the degradation and collapse of silicon. It is then that the Bleeth must return to their universe for fear of annihilating ours, yet are content by leaving their mark. When I mean mark, I mean vodka Red Bull stains and chlamydia.

6:01 am March, 17 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

So instead of giving the bus boys tips at the Kleenex club they let them pose with the strippers. Hey, a boner is a boner is a boner. He’s smiling even though he stopped thinking he was going to get any action months ago.

7:24 am March, 17 Whetman said...

That bleeth is the Kleenex Mafia chick from Toronto. She’s a regular on the club scene here. She’s actually 35 and is starting to look like the used cougar she is. The pic is kind to her.

7:48 am March, 17 I R A Darth Aggie said...

What’s a Beiber?

7:58 am March, 17 Deltus said...

About 120 pounds of Canadian shit, Darth.

8:32 am March, 17 Steve said...

Ya know if it wasn’t for his stupid ugly hairstlye and dumbass chains, I’d give this guy a notta. No tattoos, no GSR, and no stupid pose/face. Come on guys, being short and hairy doesn’t constitute douche. If he did shave his arms, you’d joke about that instead.

12:00 pm March, 17 Tony Ventresca said...

She has really large hands and not much in the way of hips.

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