Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Wimpy The Cinch Sack

Oh sure, you’d like to pretend Wimpy The Cinch Sack’s shameless mugging of Genevieve is pure Halloween something or other.

It can’t be real, you tell yourself.

No one looks like 80s rocker vomit in their own A.D.T. secured faux foyer.

No one gets E.T./Jesus heartlight tatts across their chests and still scores tiny taut brunette suckle thigh.

It just can’t happen.

Or can it?

# posted by douchebag1
7:14 am March, 29 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I better find out this guy invented food and every time someone takes a bite he gets a royalty. If not, then this is truly infuriating.

7:23 am March, 29 Vin Douchal said...

When he looks in the mirror he sees Russell Brand. The mirror stabs itself in the jugular with a spork

7:26 am March, 29 Mr. White said...

Is there a word, either in the general vernacular or in the medical sciences, for when you have a halfsie while simultaneously vomiting? Should that even happen? Am I dying?

7:27 am March, 29 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Meth whores have no pride.

7:29 am March, 29 Condouchious said...

The poor man’s Russell Brand.

7:30 am March, 29 MD said...

It’s an Irish claddagh ring tat …
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claddagh_ring

7:36 am March, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The girls believe that he is that close to getting the primer on his 77 Nova SS. Queensryche Style, YEAHHHHHHHHHHH. Rocck On. Son

7:37 am March, 29 Anonymous said...

Well in that case, that scrote can Pogue Mahone. That makes me angry that such a turd can build a love nest with so hot a brunette.

There is no justice in this world. Not to mention the raven haired beauty friend and the blondie with the taut body who are the brunette’s friends. I want to swing a Louisville Slugger like Will Clark right into his fucking teeth.

7:39 am March, 29 Anonymous said...

Chiclet City. Son.

7:40 am March, 29 DarkSock said...

Medusa, you are the body art specialist. Can you tell us why this man has a tattoo of his own gaped asshole on his chest? Is there any way the authorities can go after the tattooist responsible for this? Isn’t there a union or something to prevent such “Goatse”** tatts?
.
.
.
**For those of you new to teh interwebs: Do. Not. Google. Goatse. You will wind up more bitter than if you attended tub girl’s lemon party, where there were only 2 girls and 1 cup, and the only food there is cake farts, and the only party activity is spankwire. You were warned.
.
.
Son.

7:40 am March, 29 jonezy said...

fuck.
.
I hate feeling more jealous than bellicose mock.
.
“That Genevieve Vaughn is one fine.
.
piece.
.
of ace!”

7:41 am March, 29 Anonymous said...

That Shooter Jennings sure can pull some tail.

7:42 am March, 29 jonezy said...

Godtse?

7:42 am March, 29 Anonymous said...

@ Dark Sock. Why did you leave Tubgirl off the A List?

7:43 am March, 29 Anonymous said...

My bad. I see she was escorted to the party by the three old wise men.

8:06 am March, 29 Anonymous said...

“In God’s Hands”. Well, in a way. More like God sighed, grabbed the little spade and the small paper sack, scooped you up off the front lawn, carefully put you in the sack, folded the sack closed, walked to Heaven’s trashcan, and tossed you in. So yeah, I guess if dogs poop in heaven, you’ll eventually end up in God’s hands.

8:06 am March, 29 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Rather than a tattoo, I wish it were my own hands gripping his heart as I rip it, still beating, out of his chest and kick his twitching corpse down the pyramid stairs. Suck on Tezcatlipoca’s obsidian phallus and drink deeply of his fiery seamen as it burns your entrails, Russell Brand wannabe!
.
Um, yeah, so I think he’s a douch.
.
Lithe and lean Cassandra, I would drizzle warm marmalade on your toes and nuzzle and lap the soles of your feet like a day old puppy while you sip pink champagne through a straw and spin your Tibetan prayer wheel, softly chanting.

8:08 am March, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her tattoo says “F*ck off Daddy”.

8:10 am March, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

He has similar tattoo on his ass, with the hands artfully crafted around his rectum. Above it in swirly script is says “In your mouth”.

8:32 am March, 29 plague said...

Came her for the Russell Brand jokes. Left wanting.

8:45 am March, 29 DouchYouWannaDance said...

What did Benny Hill say…

“If it weren’t for two warts on her chest, she’d have no figure at all”?

8:47 am March, 29 tall guy said...

What I don’t get is the bared-teeth look. It is supposed to be edgy, tough or offensive? If so, well offensive comes closest, although probably not in the way the dude intended. And as for that other photo, the one where he’s with multiple hotts (!!). That depresses me. I am depressed from merely looking at it.

8:50 am March, 29 smackdouche said...

Is it two hands holding a crowned heart?
Is it two hands pulling open a crowned labia?
Is it two hands caressing two ears?

9:03 am March, 29 Anonymous said...

Why is God wearing a wrist watch?

9:06 am March, 29 Anonymous said...

Because it’s a Crisco Wristwatch. That’s why.

9:09 am March, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

I likes me some Genevieve but I’m disappointed that she into the whole skinny, unkempt, rockerbag cliche.

9:22 am March, 29 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Captain Morgan is AWOL, out of uniform, and pulling some nubile hotts. Fuccing pirate lush.

9:32 am March, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh yes. Yes it can. Remember children, irony is dead.

9:44 am March, 29 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I want to take that wrought iron coat hanger in the corner and make myself a hipster/rocker popsicle.

9:45 am March, 29 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Coat rack^
.
Evidently I haven’t been watching enough HGTV

10:13 am March, 29 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I believe that Genevieve tatts say Please pee in my butt.
.
Or maybe it’s I like sex with animals, but Wimpy isn’t one of them. It’s a bit hard to make out.

10:24 am March, 29 Wedgie said...

Thanks to Sock for that link to the fleshy Lincoln tunnel. Mrs. Wedgie was fully stoked after I forwarded it to her. Good thing I just bought the family size Astroglide ‘cuz the golden gate will be closed for the next week or so.
Fuccen architects.

11:15 am March, 29 Southern Scrotic said...

His tat looks more like a vagina to me. Of course it doesn’t quite look right because he’s never really seen one.

12:12 pm March, 29 Mockotini said...

Russel Bland here has a third nipple for a belly button. What the hell Flatty Perry? You married this freak?

2:08 pm March, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

It’s like Fozzy Bear was eaten by a wookie that impregnated a woolly mammoth that had the misfortune of sharing some of its chromosomes with that fart-sucking wanker Brand. How has that douche managed to survive for so long?

4:42 pm March, 29 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Where’s the boobs?



I was told that there would be boobs.




This is quite disappointing.

7:07 pm March, 29 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Dudes with the Claddagh tatt on their chests
a) are blessed by the Sacred Heart of Bejesus.
b) use All-Clad cookware to braise their Rocky Mountain oysters
c) know that it takes two hands to handle a whopper.
d) date gals with “Erin go bragh-less” tatts on their tits.

7:09 pm March, 29 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Her sunglasses are a helluva lot more interesting than her chestesses, but he has her beat with his FLYTEETH expression.

8:38 pm March, 29 Guid is Good said...

This Hott needs to find some implanted Bleeth (Hello Kitty?) and offer to to go halves.

9:14 pm March, 29 Stephanie said...

That tattoo describes what I’d like to do,rip his heart out by my bare hands.

7:24 pm April, 5 Emily said...

I know this guy and he’s actually the least douchey person sporting this look I’ve ever met. He also happens to lock down hottie after hottie so cry all you want while your girl dances dirty with him

7:29 pm April, 5 Emily said...

PS – the russell brand joke got old after the first comment

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