Saturday, March 12, 2011

Your Saturday “Caption This Pic”

“…until faux do you part.”

# posted by douchebag1
12:27 pm March, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“My Big Fat Geek Wedding”.

12:28 pm March, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fucck I was wasted this week. My apologies before I review any comments I may have made, Son.

12:40 pm March, 12 Faux Douche said...

“Say Yes to the Mess”

12:47 pm March, 12 Deltus said...

“Still clinging to vestigial doucheitude”

1:33 pm March, 12 creature said...

“don’t be nervous about the wedding night, honey, the priest showed me how it’s done”

1:35 pm March, 12 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

“And the happy couple was divorced by the end of this walk, the bride citing irreconcilable doucheiness.”

1:36 pm March, 12 creature said...

“the bridesmaid
said your over/under is 2 min. 27 sec. hon, that’d be a first…huh?”

1:38 pm March, 12 creature said...

“Joey, I said, ‘eat poo!’ not ‘I do’!”

1:51 pm March, 12 skrag2112 said...

The preist: “Forgive me oh Lord, for I have given a douche license to procreate.”
P.S. The preist looks like he has no bottom half. Hes just a torso floating in air.

1:51 pm March, 12 soy bomb said...

Well you only get married, what, 3-4 times in your life? I’m sure Hector will get it right next time.

1:59 pm March, 12 UFO Destroyers said...

She just got written out of the will.

2:05 pm March, 12 UFO Destroyers said...

@Rev. K
I didn’t really notice much until you posted your doc’s controlled substance ID #. Then we knew you were getting the good stuff.

2:19 pm March, 12 Long Time, First Time said...

“When Dicy couldn’t beat them, she married one.”

2:32 pm March, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I was stoned. The Mrs. does not weigh 400 pounds. She is watching over my shoulder and is really pissed off, she says she is at 130. The sweet woman bought me a new complete dw drumkit today as a surprise for my birthday on Tuesday, really nice drums. Promises had to be made that I would do nothing but work for the next week so I make penance to my princess poopy. No HCwDB and no Facebook or porn or dope or booze . See you dudes in a few days. Sneaky women and not clearing browser history. I will be watching from the sidelines. And by sidelines I mean my home office. Son.

2:36 pm March, 12 Mad married dude pning probation said...

That Mrs. Kroeger must be a real cunnt.

2:37 pm March, 12 creature said...

see ya Rev…when you get your dick back
heh heh

2:37 pm March, 12 Hermit said...

If any present can show just cause why they may not be joined together, speak now or forever choad your neice.

2:38 pm March, 12 Mad married dude pning probation said...

Son.

2:38 pm March, 12 Something Borrowed, Something Douche said...

“As Chaz and Tina walk down the aisle for the first time as husband and wife, the band they hired for the reception fine tune their instruments to prepare for an entire evening of Creed and Nickleback tunes.”

2:43 pm March, 12 Hermit said...

BTW, the next time we see a wacky couple on TV getting married in scuba gear or jumping from a plane, I hope they f*ckin’ drown or plummet to thier death.
.
.
.
No, I’m not bitter.

2:47 pm March, 12 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Ed Grimley Jr. is finally gonna get some!

2:51 pm March, 12 Hermit said...

Remember Elanor, who used to come in here whining about women’s rights? Damn I hated that bitch. Well it looks like she finally got some.

2:53 pm March, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

“A waste of daddy’s money”
A. The wedding itself
B. in <5 yrs when the divorce kicks in in and he gets half of her inheritance
.
@Rev, Stay strong, Son!!! I'm on the verge of losing my mind so if I can concentrate enough I'll try and fill in for you when I can.

3:13 pm March, 12 Mad married dude pning probation said...

@Et Tu
.
I don’t know who you are but I know a guy who might have some drugs lying around.

4:29 pm March, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Mindy is overjoyed. She’s given her last BJ. At least until she gets burned by the pre-nup and needs to find a new sugar daddy.

4:31 pm March, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Mario on the other hand will suck the accessional dude. It’s only gay if you touch the balls.

5:08 pm March, 12 Wedgie said...

Rev:
See the old San Kinison bit on removable dicks. Hilarious.
“But honey, all the other guys are bringing theirs”.

5:10 pm March, 12 Autumn Fizz said...

“Unfortunately, Vicki didn’t find out until the honeymoon that his skull is actually shaped that way.”

5:18 pm March, 12 Wheezer said...

@skrag2112, 1:51 p.m. –
.
Maybe the priest is Korvac…..?

5:25 pm March, 12 DarkSock said...

@ Mad Married:
.
.
.
I see what you did there….
adfs

5:30 pm March, 12 DarkSock said...

@ Wheezer:
.
I wish I lived in a bad ass Sansui 9090 from the late 70’s receiver wars like Korvac does…
ewt
trf54

5:34 pm March, 12 DarkSock said...

Korvac rages, yet has no dick. Mathematically, this proves he is Glenn Beck.

5:57 pm March, 12 soy bomb said...

Ha ha. Scoliosis Joel checked in and invited us to find him on facebook. This usually turns out to be fertile mocking grounds.

6:00 pm March, 12 soy bomb said...

Errr… that link was bad. Real bad…as in could a mod please remove it? Just follow Scoliosis Joel’s instructions. I apparently suck at copy/paste today.

6:14 pm March, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ DarkSock 5:30 PM
.
Kick ass choice, It warms my heart that someone else on this site is hip to good ol’ Japanese steel. I myself am a Luxman & Polk Audio SDA/Monitor kinda guy.

6:23 pm March, 12 Wheezer said...

Korvac rages, yet has no dick. Mathematically, this proves he is Glenn Beck.
.
Or maybe “Korvachouse”? GET SOME legs for me!

6:23 pm March, 12 DarkSock said...

@ Et Tu: For Christmas Mrs. Sock got me an Outlaw RR2150 stereo receiver; it’s a loving throwback to the overpowered 2.0 monsters of the receiver wars but updated with goodies like USB inputs. It weights the same as a VW engine block and puts out a very conservative 160 watts per 2 channels, NOT 70 shitty watts into 7 channels meant for plastic cube speakers:
jtyjtr
She also bought me a near mint pair of Vintage ESS AMT 1D Heil Speakers that I’m going to power with this amp, until I finish my custom monkey coffin 15″ towers of power:
3ge

Fuck a subwoofer.

6:28 pm March, 12 Wheezer said...

@soy bomb –
.
Oh thank you for pointing that out!
.
Fuccen GOLD MINE

6:28 pm March, 12 DarkSock said...

^and eat your heart out, Reverend Chad.

6:34 pm March, 12 Something Borrowed, Something Douche said...

@soy bomb, saw Alaska Mo’s post. But in order to ” join him in the good times” by friending him on Facebook, I’m going to have to sit at home and use my computer when he just told me I was a no life loser for doing so. Real mixed messages from that douche. I’m not friending him, so if anyone else does please do tell of all of the pictures of his perfect posture. I am worried that he actually has an undiagnosed case of scoliosis and he needs the help of us his internet pals to get him the medical attention he so desparately needs. One Team, One Purpose, One Internet Joel! We’re here for you!
@Hermit, your link didn’t work for me. I really wanted to see that ol’ crudmugeon getting a little sumpin’ sumpin’ too. What was it a pic of?

6:39 pm March, 12 DarkSock said...

pic caption:
.
…then the guests gasped in horror at the comma-like fetus bobbling behind her gown like one of the tin cans affixed to his leased BMW 128i
.
.
.
.
What?

6:50 pm March, 12 DarkSock said...

Alaska, Smoot and The Metaphysical Hooligan need to have an epic nod-off.

6:51 pm March, 12 DarkSock said...

The winner gets a new C7 disc

6:51 pm March, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

@DarkSock
.
That’s a very thoughtful and generous wife you’ve got. That’s some serious gear!!!.

6:53 pm March, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

@DarkSock
.
Do those speakers have anything to do with Bob Heil?
http://www.musiciansfriend.com/document?doc_id=100290

7:24 pm March, 12 Wheezer said...

Well, if the Sitka Scrote (The Wasilla Wanker? The Fairbanks Freakshow?) is right, I will be glad for the third arm during those lonely, cold nights in Mom and Dad’s basement:
.
http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_175_when-human-evolution-adapts-to-modern-gadgets/

7:25 pm March, 12 Wheezer said...

Make that “Fairbanks Fauxhawk.”^^
.
Or “Juneau Jagoff.”

8:28 pm March, 12 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Eagerly anticipating the coming night in the Bridal Chamber, Ted was already sporting a boner, on his HEAD.

12:42 am March, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

The “mark of the douche-groom” is the reptilian crest that follows the camel-toe indentation of his new bride, seen here in full-bloom.

12:44 am March, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Mary Jane was all aglow as the new bride of Ted-Wank, but the bridesmaids just laughed and laughed, because they knew the Knife of Venus on Ted’s head would cut her a new one.

12:46 am March, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

The marrying priest looked on in feint despair, as he could do nothing about the Douche-Groom in light of the Vatican’s dictum: Multiply, and replenish the earth.

12:50 am March, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Groom’shead Revisited

12:52 am March, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Not only is SHE going out with HIM, she’s MARRYING him.

12:53 am March, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

There’s a reason the bridesmaids are dressed in puke green.

12:57 am March, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

As Mary Jane processed down the aisle, her veil hid what she could not see waiting up front; but as she recessed back down the aisle as the new Missus, she stared straight ahead to avert her eyes from what she had just married.

1:01 am March, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Mary Jane had no idea her Bachelorette Party would hog-tie her, give her a Brazilian wax, and pass the hair over to Ted’s Bachelor Party, where they affixed the newly shorn pubes atop his head.

6:54 am March, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

Her father just committed sepukku in the lobby.

7:17 am March, 13 The Minister Scott Stapp said...

@Dark Sock.
.
I still roll with my 1979 Marantz and Cerwin-Vega rock monitors. Cerwins are so tough I used to throw them down stairs when too blasted to carry them. Nice gear. The sound of transistors and scratched Lp’s is da bomb. Oh,Oh here she comes. So

8:07 am March, 13 DarkSock said...

^I see what you did there, Minister Stapp. heh heh
.
If you’re not a stereo geek then scroll past the novella below:
.
@ Et Tu: Nope, they’re named after Dr. Oskar Heil, who invented and patented an insane and unique driver. It sits atop the AMD box, which houses one 12″ woofer and a 12″ passive radiator on the back side. This “tweeter” is a pleated diaphragm electrostatic dipole (emits sound equally from front and back; pleated diaphragm is suspended between 2 very heavy magnetic poles). It makes sound by “squirting” air between the folds, much like Plinky’s Mom. If you unfolded the diaphragm, it would have the surface area of a 12″ woofer; it has ruler-flat response from 800hz up to 20k. Mrs. Sock got them from her old boss at SkyTel (remember beepers?) for $100; the wife wanted them out of her mansion. Years later I looked them up; you can still buy a pair for about $5,000…shit! The foam had rotted out of my woofers so I just replaced that, and am now replacing the diaphragm in the Great Heil tweeter. Check it out, you can still buy this tweeter from Parts Express for $350…..each….
tha
These bad boys rock; although I’ve refurbed the woofers and radiators I am going to experiment with them also. The issue with the Heils is that they are so quick and efficient that it’s hard to find a cone woofer to match them; that big lazy 12″ driver doesn’t. So I got four really sweet Genelec 10″ bass drivers from a very expensive discontinued self-amplified studio monitor for next to nothing from PE; I’m going to put a pair into each speaker, one firing to the front, and one to the back, and drop the whole rig into 4 ohms which my Outlaw receiver will drive without breaking a sweat.
.
Then it’s a matter of Mrs. Sock letting them back into the house from the garage banishment. I got $5,000 garage speakers…and a cheapie out-of-the-box Onkyo 7.1 system in the house. Jeez.

9:15 am March, 13 Troy Tempest said...

@Sock-
NICE stereo gear.

My System:

Turntable: SOTA Comet w/ Rega 301 tonearm and Sumiko BluePoint cartridge.
Pre Amp: Rotel 870 preAmp
Amp: B&K ST140
CD: Rotel 855
Speakers: Modified Polk Audio monitor 5’s from 1989 (refitted with a new crossover, Dynaudio woofers and Peerless tweeters from Denmark)

It sounds very good. I’d like to get better speakers, though.

10:05 am March, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

@DarkSock,
Right on!!!, thanks for the write up.
.
@Troy,
Re; Speakers; this might help give you a better idea if your gonna upgrade from the 5’s. It’s a little outdated but should point you in right direction http://www.polksda.com/ebay.shtml
.
Peerless Tweeters especially the ones from Denmark are awesome. I had a pair in my Monitor 10A’s. My first pair of Polks were 5Jr’s

10:49 am March, 13 Wheezer said...

WARNING: Unauthorized removal of diaphragm voids warranty coverage.
.
I’m simply not sure what to do with that information, but that thing’s definitely a cockkblocker.

12:49 pm March, 13 DarkSock said...

Peerless is good stuff; I’ve built a couple of fine sets of bookshelves; I caught a bunch of empty
Advent Baby II cabinets on clearance for $10 and filled them with Peerless components; sounded better than the Advents ever did.
.
I’ve always wanted to get a set of Dynaudio 9″ driver’s but they’re too steep. However I did on impulse order the 200 Onkyo mylar tweeters for $10 from Parts Express. I’ve only used 8 so far….what the hell am I going to do with 192 tweeters? Here’s the box they come in; they’re 3 deep…
qerw

1:38 pm March, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’m very much enjoying the penis measuring contest comparison of stereo equipment going on here.

1:39 pm March, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

Damnit. Strikethrough fail.

1:54 pm March, 13 Wheezer said...

Medusa: mine goes up to 11.

2:12 pm March, 13 creature said...

yeah M. O. I got a big one…stereo

3:25 pm March, 13 lowercaseL said...

“You may now fwip the bride”

4:48 pm March, 13 DarkSock said...

Medusa: Mine goes deeper. Because of the 12″.

5:41 pm March, 13 Oucheday Agbay said...

Bridesmaid on the far left pleasantly indicating that it’s a bit chilly in the chapel.

6:41 pm March, 13 DarkSock said...

Caption:
.
“Well she’s fucked”, thought Reverend Korvac as he hovered in his Sansui 9090.

6:47 pm March, 13 DarkSock said...

Harold and Gina were barely halfway down the aisle when Reverend Korvac tapped the hidden switch, releasing a pride of enraged and starving Rabbi’s badgers from the pulpit.

1:53 am March, 14 Motorcycle Accessories said...

The issue with the Heils is that they are so fast & efficient that its hard to discover a cone woofer to match them; that large lazy driver doesn’t

8:10 am March, 14 Tony Ventresca said...

The presiding religico appears to have a vestigal “faux” like the groom.

11:54 am March, 14 GluttonoftheNorth said...

The only plausible thing is that this is one of those Youtube videos of a wedding march..To be unique and way cool for Thetube , all party participants were required to way backwards down the isle (think Shorecrest High school)…So this excerpt is actually the father of the bride reverse walking his loved one to the altar…There is absolutely no other way this could happen..

3:51 pm March, 14 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

The evening was complete with fist pumping to the Hokey Pokey

4:02 pm March, 14 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Wedding Announcments:
Bleethe-Scrote
Muffy Bleethe and Richard Scrote entered into the sacramanet of Holy Matrimony on Sat. March 5, 2011 at Our Lord of the Holy Pubes. Dick Scrote obtained his GED in 2009 and is working toward a management position in the food service industtry. Muffy, after graduating from Vassar, enrolled at MIT. The happy couple honeymooned in Las Vegas.

Obit:
Sunday March 6, 2011:

Thomas Bleethe, 74, found dead at the Holiday Inn with a shotgun at his side and the back of his head on the wall. While early indications suggest suicide, local police have not ruled out depraved indifference due to the events occurring on March 5, 2011. Richard Scrote is named as a person of interest.

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