Sunday, March 6, 2011

Your Sunday Hot Chick Infused Annoying Hipster Video

Since normally I post Sunday HCwDB Movies of douchebags frolicing in parking lots with nary a semi-hot chick in sight, today I thought we’d mix it up.

There are no traditional douchebags in this video.

Just lovely lovely ladies set to a strangely enjoyable, if trippy, indie track. And whales. And a thirsty old guy.

And, if you look really closely, an annoying hipster Melvin.

But in the spirit of forgiveness, we’ll give him a quasi notta and enjoy the Pear.

# posted by douchebag1
8:26 am March, 6 Scroto Baggins said...

Love Destroyer, great Canadian band. Great video too!

9:05 am March, 6 Douchble Helix said...

Very high production values.
Too much Bill Gates.
Too little Hot Chicks.
Too long.
I didn’t “get it”.
.
Who do I see for a refund of my 6+ minutes?

9:18 am March, 6 Hmmm said...

Wha? No douchebag dance video?! Why so benevolent DB1? Not that I’m complaining. Did someone get laid last night? If so, High five! And I hope you gave her cab fare for the ride home.

9:20 am March, 6 DarkSock said...

Yeah, I remember my first hit of acid.

9:24 am March, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

I feel like I just lost some brain cells from watching this cinematic crapterpiece. If I’m gonna lose some brain cells I’d rather do it the old fashion way by sucking on nitrous out of multi colored balloons. Son!!!

9:33 am March, 6 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Lay off the drugs, boy.

9:33 am March, 6 Douche Springsteen said...

I like Destroyer. If that makes me more of the hunted than the hunter, so be it.

9:38 am March, 6 soy bomb said...

I’ve always liked Destroyer. And Hotts with a side of Pear. And drugs.

9:54 am March, 6 Douchble Helix said...

What is Destroyer?

10:28 am March, 6 Justin said...

Wow. I had to stop halfway through. At the rate this thing was going, probably the next thing to happen would be a fucking whale floating in the sky attached to a balloon.

10:35 am March, 6 DarkSock said...

OK I vaguely remember my first hit of acid. And how cool the grass looked in the front yard. And how peeing in the toilet seemed to transport me to Pink Floyd’s “Meddle” because it looked like the album cover,

qwet
then conceding what an unfortunate idea it was to fire up “Echoes” whilsts tripping balls and trying to sandbag the Acid Balloon with Jack Daniels.

.
So I sorta remember my first hit of acid. Don’t recall the whale. But I can dig it.
.
Son.

10:40 am March, 6 Wheezer said...

If this is the trailer, then they got the Spider-Man reboot all wrong. Whales?
.
Hand over the acid and maybe I’ll “get it.”

10:41 am March, 6 Mr. White said...

Ironically enough, I composed a lot of 70s-style smooth jazz during my first acid trip.

10:43 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Holy fuck! That was as weird as the time I slept through a Van Halen concert in 1982. And by slept, I mean stoned on Bugs Bunny blotter.Son.

10:44 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as a displaced Libyan at the Tunisian border looking for a woman without a hair-growing facial mole.

10:45 am March, 6 Mr. White said...

Although in fairness, it did lead me to this awesome cover of Rocket Man. It’s all the song craft, minus all of the Princess Diana fetish and whoring for Disney.

10:45 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Charlie Sheen in a roomful of coked up virgin porn stars.

10:47 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Melvin two months after this video shoot.

10:47 am March, 6 DarkSock said...

By the way, Snooki is on the cover of Dad Rock Mag “Rolling Stone” this month, riding on top of Frank Mercurio; sheer spectacle.
.
qwree
.
Looks like Rosanne Bar humping a grain silo.
.
ISRGOWH gets a shout out and Her big break; she said she has to make an empire now because after the show and fame she just can’t go back to having a real job.
.
.
.
There’s always the casino circuit; she could do a MEAN Buddy Hackett impersonation. Or she could be “Divine”, although she’d need to dong-tape.

10:58 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Snooki on a dirty shag cock rug.

10:59 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Clay Aiken at a Maplethorpe exhibit.

11:00 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Sasha Grey riding an ass hammer.

11:00 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as football player at BYU.

11:02 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Rush Limbaugh on Michelle Obamas with a tube a K-Y Delicious Chocolate.

11:07 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Il Divo at the World Cup.

11:09 am March, 6 Anonymous said...

I think the young man with glasses was suffering from the sexual frustration common in post-pubescent males. The older gentleman may have been afflicted with complications resulting from a recent bladder infection. The whale seemed despondent, perhaps concerned with his ever-elevating cholesterol level.
.
.
I’d like to bang that kid’s mom in the utility room while the water softener was recharging.

11:11 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Johnny Weir visiting an all-male skating camp.

11:13 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Lady Di on an Arab cock.

11:15 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as horny as Oprah on a Southern fried Scientology buffet without Stedman.

11:16 am March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m going to get my new Psych meds now.

11:51 am March, 6 creature said...

what’s with all the 1 pc. suits…MORE SKIN, dadgummit!
…& less pimply faced dorky kid
on an unrelated note, just returned from the desert & Cactus league spring ball…good fun & remarkable paucity of DB presence…lots of bad tatts & giant cowboy pickup trucks (WTF) but that was it…non-douchey affair overall, tho I didn’t go to Scottsdale

11:53 am March, 6 creature said...

@ DarkSock…she’s a filthy pig!
shove a spit up her ass & roast her for a luau!

11:56 am March, 6 DarkSock said...

Snooki’s dildo is an empty Pringle’s Chip can filled with compacted bacon and hair.

11:56 am March, 6 DarkSock said...

Snooki has to put a DirecTV dish on her barstool to keep her ass from hitting the floor.

11:59 am March, 6 DarkSock said...

Snooki’s tampons are made by Sealy PosturPedic™.

12:02 pm March, 6 Wheezer said...

Snooki’s not orange on that cover? I think the world’s flour supply was exhausted in that particular airbrushing escapade.

12:33 pm March, 6 DarkSock said...

Snooki is 4′-11″.
.
Lying on her side.

12:47 pm March, 6 UFO Destroyers said...

Wow.
.
I just don’t get it.
.
Why would Papa Hemmingway return from the dead to be featured in a video with a guy that looks like me from 1989.
.
Ok, it was more like 1986.

12:47 pm March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Snooki is as horny as the blind graphic artist that put the line in her gunt.

12:49 pm March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Snooki is as horny as DJ Pauly looking at his butthole in the mirror.

12:51 pm March, 6 UFO Destroyers said...

And there sure as hell ain’t enough acid in all the high schools of south Jersey to make me think Snooki was doable.
.
Roseanne, maybe.

1:36 pm March, 6 G said...

Ugh…Snooki needs a frypan to the face…

1:49 pm March, 6 creature said...

Snookie’s dildo is a bullet trashcan filled with Orca flesh

1:50 pm March, 6 creature said...

make that a bullet train filled with drunk Shriners & circus clowns

2:49 pm March, 6 Steve L. said...

there’s too much saxophone in this video. or synth (i don’t know what synth is capable of these days…). and i hate saxophones.
.
but the ladies in this video are a lot more tasteful than Gunther’s harem. Gunther’s chicks are just so… greasy.

2:50 pm March, 6 Mom and Pop N' Lock said...

Good analysis Anon @ 11:09a, I would tend to agree. And that water was really clear. Also too much nerdy kid, not enough whales bangin’ broads. I give it two and three quarter stars.
.
@Rev Chad, what happened to Charlie Sheen-style partying this weekend with your old highschool jumpoffs? Details please. Were nuts busted on some bitches or not?

2:55 pm March, 6 Steve L. said...

well there you have it. Snooki’s empire douches on and DB1’s show isn’t getting another season (as far as i can tell). thanks for invoking the word empire DarkSock. i hope i can still get to work on time tomorrow.
.
not that i’m necessarily suggesting that DB1 should hedge his career on reality shows. maybe he should do a European art film down the road or something. that would be snobbish, but a bit more respectable than reality shows in my opinion.

3:01 pm March, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

I feel bad for Frank Mercurio, how did Medusa let this happen?

3:09 pm March, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

Snooki, “America’s #1 Party Girl”???, yeah right. I wouldn’t even snort Charlie Sheens 7 gram rocks off of her ass.

5:11 pm March, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

pffft! fake skull at 3:48. You can always tell a cut rate fake skull because the sinus cavity isn’t a fucking cavity. Fuck you and your flying whale.

5:14 pm March, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Snooki’s dildo is a saguaro cactus tied to an off-balance front load washer.

5:16 pm March, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Snooki’s dildo is a claustrophobic bull walrus.

5:20 pm March, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Snooki’s dildo is The Undertaker giving the tombstone pile driver to 18 uncured hams in a Hello Kitty mascot costume.

6:33 pm March, 6 Hermit said...

Snooki uses discarded love seats as tampons.

6:35 pm March, 6 Hermit said...

Snooki douches by squatting over a fire hydrant and opening the valve vaginally.

6:38 pm March, 6 Hermit said...

Snooki uses semi re-treads as diaphragms.

6:41 pm March, 6 Hermit said...

Snooki uses the amazing DR Trimmer® to shave her bush.

6:43 pm March, 6 Hermit said...

Snooki uses a Jack La Lane® food processor for a vibrator.

6:50 pm March, 6 Guid is Good said...

I made it to 2:26. Anybody beat that?

Give me douchebags or give me death.

6:51 pm March, 6 Hermit said...

Snooki pleasures herself with the fuselage from a P51 Mustang .

7:01 pm March, 6 Hermit said...

I personally welcome the non-douchebag video. It had plenty of untainted hot chicks, was visually pleasing and it finally opened some serious and meaningful dialogue in the comments thread.

7:04 pm March, 6 Hermit said...

Snooki’s menstrual cramps often measure as much as 4.5 on the Richter Scale.

7:11 pm March, 6 Hermit said...

Snooki can drag her ass, like a dog, across the highway and leave a sticky trail which can be used as a stop strip by law enforcement.

8:05 pm March, 6 Mom and Pop N' Lock said...

The combo of Hermit 7:01p, followed by Hermit 7:04p for the win!

8:18 pm March, 6 creature said...

that missile silo was covered in patina before Snookie began to ‘polish’ it with her diseased sea cucumber

9:03 pm March, 6 DarkSock said...

I just had an epiphany: People are basically buildings made of meat.
.
.
.
I just had another epiphany: I coulda been a doctor, making 10x the money.
.
Dammit Crucial….

10:00 pm March, 6 DarkSock said...

I could have gone into urology AND proctology. And equestrian medicine.
.
Just sayin’…..

10:09 pm March, 6 DarkSock said...

“Dr. Sock – We tried to keep in the horse’s suppository but it got pissed off….”
.
.
.
…sorry…

10:18 pm March, 6 creature said...

what do you call a fighting chicken with laryngitis?
….a hoarse cock

4:29 am March, 7 Joey Bagadouchey said...

Sadly, you can only be a virgin pornstar one time

8:04 am March, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Et Tu 3:01
What? Wait….FRANK!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

8:04 am March, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

Shit. I’ll never get the stink off of him. Time to get a new strap on.

8:37 am March, 7 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

The first minute of the video made me hornier than Michael Jackson at recess. Son.

4:06 am March, 8 Harley Parts said...

If I am going to lose some brain cells I did do it the elderly fashion way by sucking on nitrous out of multi colored balloons.

12:27 pm March, 8 douche-tastic said...

Singing started…my earlobes hit the escape button.

10:24 am March, 9 Anonymous said...

Brandi

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