Thursday, April 7, 2011

Alex Rodweenus Makes “The Redundant Point”

Okay maybe I’m pissed that the Red Sox are the most craptastically overhyped disappointment since JarJar nuked the fridge, so I’m gonna take it out on Yankee Fan #2 here.

Yeah, you, Billy.

We haven’t properly mocked the Redundant Douche Point in awhile. So it’s worth making this salient point about our photographically obsessed culture once again.

No need to point at said Hot Chick.

We know.

Your restatement of the obvious + smug face (+ Yankee cap) = stage-2 douche violation. Your z-neck shirt makes you shoescrape.

# posted by douchebag1
9:23 am April, 7 DarkSock said...

Booger Flicker, Who are You?
We all see what You can Do;
Wiping boogers on the Bleeth,
You need a bat swung at your teeth.

9:39 am April, 7 Et Tu Douche? said...

He looks very annoying

9:43 am April, 7 Vin Douchal said...

“I Shoot People” . This must mean that this tool was dragged outside and one was planted between the eyes.
.
.
However, the hidden pleasure here is like playing a Beatles record backwards as if you click on the photo it gets bloweded up so you can see just how hot she is

9:58 am April, 7 Banana Hammock said...

I could easily imagine Land Rover tire tread on that fat filled hat holder… Whoa, she looks exactly like the mannequin that I witnessed being molested at Macy’s last week

10:02 am April, 7 Mock Jock said...

You know, as a bit of a rookie baseball super-fan, even I would mock this guy even if we were cheering for the same team (which believe me, we are not. The Yankees feltch 100 year old bunghole.) Anyway, pull your cap down douchebag and get in the game of getting a life. Yeah, she’s an attractive girl and you’re right next to her. Let me guess, you also look at your own poop and rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 each time, oh wait I do that too. Anyway, what I’m saying is your face is not attractive, you point out stupid shit and your team sucks. Change two of the three and then call me.

10:14 am April, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“What the fuck do you want me to do with this? This isn’t my life-size cardboard standup of Jeter. The jelly dong is missing. And the hole I cut out in his thigh. I ain’t able to fantasize about how I’d love to have his pimple dick drug across my face while he simultaneously teabags and queefs on me. Then he would carry me to the showers where he the whole team would ravage me with Cleveland steamers after I gave each one a rusty blumpkin while Tonetta was blaring over the radio. Now that my friend would be heaven. This piece of trash? Can’t hold a candle to my Jeter.”

10:23 am April, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Re: RedSawx
.
This team needs an identity. Too many changes at once to get it gelling.
.
I recommend a weekend beanbrawl war with the Yankees beginning with a solid plunking of Jeter, A-Fraud and I-smell-dogshit-facial-expression Texiera on Friday night causing a comraderie building benches clearing brawl and ejections.
.
And some time over the following games hit that chinless bastard Jorge Posada in the cockk with a wild 98MPH fastball so he can’t fuck that incredible wife of his for a few weeks causing her to stray and have an affair with Nick Swisher
.

.
Solid plan if you ask me

10:47 am April, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin
.
This used to be the wallpaper on my computer monitor. I’ve since changed it but the image is still burned in because I had it there for so long. And remember this? Yankmee pussies wouldn’t risk their dainty little hands anyway.

11:02 am April, 7 Douchelexic said...

I swear these douchey idiots really need to take some lessons from Peaches. They just cannot seem to get their shit together and point the right way.

11:16 am April, 7 Vin Douchal said...

@ Doc
.
I hate to say this as there’s no way to prove it short of showing you my ticket stub but, I was at that game.
.
Long Story:
.
After Boone hit the soul crushing 13th inning homer off of Tim Wakfield to end the 2003 season at the hands of the hated Yankees , my old lady looked at me like a puppy that got hit by a car. She was not a fan of the Sox at the time being a SoCal gal raised on the Garvey-Cey-Lopes-Russell era Dodgers. I’m sure she rubbed a few out to Garvey’s LA TImes sports section photos
.
Anyhoo, I told her I’d show her what the Yankees v Red Sox feud is all about and planned our vacation back to Cape Cod around the Yankees visit to Fenway July 23-25, 2004.
.
We went to the game the Friday night before the A-Rod / Varitek game as Kevin Millar went yard three times in a tough loss as we sat in great roof box seats down the right field line.
.
The Saturday game was epic….

11:19 am April, 7 Collaz B. Popped said...

Its always cute to see Red Sawx fans on the streets of NYC,,,some try so hard when they wear 2 – 4 pieces of Red Sox sportswear at once.

11:27 am April, 7 Vin Douchal said...

We boarded a turnaround bus in Centerville, MA with about 30 other Sox fans including my beer swizzling but never gains a pound hottie little neice that Saturday at 9:00 AM and headed off to Fenway.
.
We sucked down brews as Major League played on the video screens, singing “Wild Thing” with the soundtrack when pre-crazy-assed Charlie Sheen stole the show. It was raining lightly. The bus dropped us off at the right field entrance a few hours later
.
Fenway Park closes down Yawkee Way along the home plate entrance an hour before the game so fans can go in and out of the park for munching, photo ops and of course drinking. It’s like Mardi Gras meets a frat party meets a Remy family reunion. Awesome.
.
But there was a rain that morning so there was a delay as they worked on the field. So instead of drinking for an hour before the game it turned into 2 1/2 hours of impatient knuckleheaded Chowderheads chomping at the bit for battle…

11:27 am April, 7 The Reverend Chad in Rehab Jonesing said...

A 20 year old brunette Christina Applegate. I thank you. It seems my penis may be starting to function again.

11:33 am April, 7 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I don’t see his rod or his weenus, but then, the finger makes a poseable substitute.

11:35 am April, 7 Vin Douchal said...

The game in 25 words or less:
.
Down 9-3 Sox come back in the bottom of the ninth outlasting the Yankees 11-10 when “Billy Ball Game” Mueller knocks in the winning run off of acne addled Mariano Rivera a few innings after A-Rod got plunked and forced to dine on Varitek’s mit.
.
Bill “Spaceman” Lee probably jizzed in his pants watching that game
.
In the bus on the way back my old lady had her life changing baseball epiphany and confessed her new allegiance to the Boston Red Sox stating, “If that game was a Disneyland ride it would have been an “E Ticket” .
.
.
Now she’s a fan of baseball. She can spot when a pitcher’s tipping his change up, hates K-Zone, yells at Tim Bogar when he sends runners from third where they’ll end up dead meat at home, and second guesses every move by Tito. Hard not to love that gal

11:48 am April, 7 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Cut him some slack, his cap bill is facing forward and with no visible ink and merely a touch of smiley- pouty mouth and somewhat slack hand signalling, not to mention yellow AND green club id bracelets, his worst sin is the ungentlemanly act or wearing a hat indoors.
But for everyone NOT a Yankees fan, that cap is the equivalent of pointy hair.
Okay, mebbe a light douche.
She is indeed hott.

2:18 pm April, 7 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

It’s an evolutionary marvel that such a punch worthy face can survive in the wild. Normally I’d put his chances at survival as slightly less than the armless albino octopus that his head resembles. Someone switched off his Real Doll.

2:56 pm April, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin
.
I
Am
So
JEALOUS
OF
YOU
RIGHT
NOW!
AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

4:49 pm April, 7 Mr. Biggs said...

Amen DB1.
Oh, and Vin? Yankee body paint = stage 1 violation wtih a warning. Sorry.

4:51 pm April, 7 Mr. Biggs said...

I base this violation on the implicit desire to please a known douchebag attractor. It’s how bleeth begins, as we all know.

4:03 am April, 8 Steve L. said...

in completely unrelated news, the mock is never redundant.

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