Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Ask DB1: Carniebaggery


—–
Hi DB1,

Is a carnie a douche?

Sure, there are certain habits that spans both the paleo and neo carnies, but douchessories such as back stamp tatt, silly hair style and excessive jewellery are not the things I coveted when dreaming of running away to join the circus as a kid.

— tall guy
—–

The Neo-Carnies, an intellectual offshoot from the Neo-Libationists that began in the 1960s after P.T. Friedman first published, “There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute,” found their seminal text in the late 1980s with Allan Bloombag’s critique of subjectivity in the academy, “The Gelling of the American Hair.”

So, to answer your question, tall guy, yes, anything and everything associated with Cirque Du Soleil is douchey. Ipso Facto.

# posted by douchebag1
1:46 pm April, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Friedman wanted to title his treatise “A Douchebag Is Born Every Minute, ” but was talked out of it by folk singer Pete Seabag, and went with the less definitive sounding “Sucker.” Friedman regrets his decision every minute of every day as it has resulted in almost 50 years of confusion.

1:51 pm April, 20 Anonymous said...

This dude was on Project Runway. The girls are probably wanna be models.

2:04 pm April, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I wanna be on the blond wanna be model!

2:04 pm April, 20 soy bomb said...

What emotion, exactly, is this clown trying to convey? Is he sad? Is he a badass? I’m confused. But not by teenie titties in the blue dress. I’d make like a train and rail that.

2:15 pm April, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I am more of a J. M. Keynesian scholar, Friedman and his monetaristic ways and disdain of central banking ruined me forever in regards to the trapeze. Getting warm here and my igloo is fading as fast as my chances at bagging a 30 year old bearded lady. Moose is back in the swamp and I need a pool for the penguins. Son.

2:53 pm April, 20 Ted Brogan said...

Is that the “Blue Steel” or “Le Tigre” ?

2:53 pm April, 20 Vin Douchal said...

@ Soy Bomb
.
While drunksleeping in Vegas, at least once get up in the middle of the night, take a wizz, ramble down the elevator to the casino in yer nightwear and throw $20 in the closest slot machine.
.
There’s something lucky about that.

3:38 pm April, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

@Soy
I think the emotion he’s trying to convey is that he prefers the cock rather than the options currently available to him.

3:40 pm April, 20 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Anon @1:51, no, I think this guy played “prison bitch #3” in the little known but well received 2000 film Lockdown.

4:11 pm April, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Oh, for the days when the likes of Burt Lancaster, Tony Curtis and Gina Lollabrigida flew around on the circus TRAPEZE.
Certifiably before Age of Douche.

4:28 pm April, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Allan Bloombag was assuredly under the spell of the scent of Dippity-Do when he wrote his “The Gelling of the American Hair.”

And Prell. That hot damn gel looked and smelled like Prell Shampoo-poo.

And that gel which started out as an attempt to repair split ends from the continuous rollers women used on their hair turned into a product that repaired hairline crack-cases, such as Humpty Dumpty’s.

Which reminds me, it’s time to decorate the Easter eggs and hide them for the grandkids’ big hunt.

4:55 pm April, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

I know carnies. You, sir, are no carny. There’s a big difference between the greasy, coke-snorting perverts who operate the ferris wheel at the county fair, and the spandexed art-alt-cirque fruits. Night and day, boys and girls, night and day.

4:58 pm April, 20 THE TRUTH said...

The girl in the blue is on MTV’s Monday night show at 10. R.J. Berger or whatever. She was Miss Washington and a model

5:59 pm April, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I’ve seen that expression on his face a hundred times before.
It’s the one where the kid has lost his “binky.”

6:45 pm April, 20 Grand Douchemeister said...

Hey, come on, it’s French. Having douche-y traits in France is like eating at Subway here. Sure, not everybody does it, but all of us have at least wanted to try the Meatballs.

8:16 pm April, 20 Sir David Douchenborough said...

But, but Guy Laliberté throws the craziest parties yo! Cirque du Soleil can’t be douchey. He is got like hookers, talent agents, aspiring male dancers, djs, grey goose…err wait a minute.

8:12 am April, 21 Mr. White said...

I don’t have anything clever to say, but I want to have sex with both of those girls. Just sayin’.

9:10 am April, 21 tall guy said...

Thank you, DB1 and others. I am now armed with the facts re. carnies.

10:22 am April, 21 DarkSock said...

Q: What do you get when you put 32 carnies in the same room?

A: A full set of teeth.

12:25 pm April, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

Carnie Wilson is like the biggest douche out there. Wait what was the question?

2:38 pm April, 21 I R A Darth Aggie said...

He looks distressed.
.
As he should. I just used the Force to punch him in the ‘nads.

3:52 pm April, 21 tall guy said...

@ DarkSock: BA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

10:45 am April, 24 Anonymous said...

http://youtu.be/kr7djGY1fhA>this.

10:47 am April, 24 Anonymous said...

<a href=http://youtu.be/kr7djGY1fhA

10:48 am April, 24 Anonymous said...

this

12:34 am April, 25 Sam said...

Asshole on the left just got out of a mental institution. Still needs more shock treatments and treatment for enema addiction.

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