Friday, April 1, 2011

Friday Haiku

Spring Break woo girls, “Woo!”
Heathen Joe crosses the line,
Kelly’s butt: fondled.

Future researchers
Will study this choad’s dried pelt
Like the Dead Sea Scrolls

— Wedgie

What is proper greet?
Look him in eyes? Or read face?
Confounds Ms Manners!

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Ahab stands in crowd
Watching Queequeg hunt Hotties
Moby Dick style

— jonezy

Who’s more desperate?
The girls with daddy issues
Or me for looking?

— Mr. Scrotato Head

Douche Maul is confused
Can’t remember which virgin
He left his sleeze in

— saulgoode42

Tatooed wanker dude
Ponders “Ass the other white meat”
Acid trip for skin

— Douchetastic Sam

Sometimes, when “raging
‘gainst the dying of the light”,
you should just give up.

— collossus of choads

# posted by douchebag1
7:03 am April, 1 Wedgie said...

This pic documents
The decline of the West
Douchies on display

7:04 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Joe lets slip a shart.
It runs down wall behind him
Now 2 shits in view.

7:05 am April, 1 Wedgie said...

What can happen when
A tattoo artist gets bored
Medusa: week off?

7:06 am April, 1 Wedgie said...

Future researchers
Will study this choad’s dried pelt
Like the Dead Sea Scrolls

7:08 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Hey comic-book face!
It’s hip what you’ve done with ink.
Old age will enhance???

7:09 am April, 1 jonezy said...

Ahab stands in crowd
Watching Queequeg hunt Hotties
Moby Dick style

7:09 am April, 1 Wedgie said...

He’s biding his time
One drunk sorority girl
Wakes with a sore butt

7:10 am April, 1 saulgoode42 said...

Douche Maul is confused
Can’t remember which virgin
He left his sleeze in

7:12 am April, 1 saulgoode42 said...

Gas Huffer Face Makes
Gas Huffing Time so much fun!
Ran out of paint cans….

7:12 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Now clearer meaning
To “Face only mom could love”
But truth? She doesn’t.

7:12 am April, 1 collossus of choads said...

Sometimes, when “raging
‘gainst the dying of the light”,
you should just give up.

7:15 am April, 1 jonezy said...

Kimmie’s facebook post:
“Spring Break is so crazy fun!”
She hates her parents

7:15 am April, 1 Douchetastic Sam said...

Tatooed wanker dude
Ponders “Ass the other white meat”
Acid trip for skin

7:15 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Only job for douche
Is back room printing press ops
And he got printed!

7:17 am April, 1 Condouchious said...

Hottest spring break spot?
Why, travelling carnivals!
Only one ride though…

7:18 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Hoo Boy, Tattoo Man!
You sure show unique physique!
But still Choad Wankscrote!

7:19 am April, 1 jonezy said...

Mr. Smith from Shop
Poor choice as school chapperone
Expert with his Wood

7:19 am April, 1 Condouchious said...

Dancing for money,
Funds raised for tat removal,
Need stronger lasers

7:20 am April, 1 Vin Douchal said...

The Muffin Top Girls
Jam with white rapper, “Stink Eye”
Crowd dissipates quick

7:21 am April, 1 Vin Douchal said...

As mom used to say
Let this be a lesson kids
No tatts while on crank

7:22 am April, 1 Condouchious said...

Spring break Daytona,
Marred by tragedy this year,
Swamp thing attacks hotts

7:22 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Timmy’s early cheats
Writing ink answers on palms
Loses all control

7:23 am April, 1 ehcuodouche said...

A sad reflection
Of youth today what the fuck
Is wrong with his face?

7:23 am April, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Do you think he has
Rap sheet as long as your arm
And ugly as his

7:26 am April, 1 Condouchious said...

Ray Bradbury tale,
Ink moves to tell us story,
Of douchebag’s failure

7:26 am April, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Cutoff jeans come back
He should cut off his pantlegs
With legs still in them

7:28 am April, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Send his photo to
The embattled Libyans
They’ll keep Gaddafi

7:31 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

What is proper greet?
Look him in eyes? Or read face?
Confounds Ms Manners!

7:31 am April, 1 Condouchious said...

Don’t know which hurts more,
Covering body in tats,
Or girls’ cold shoulders

7:31 am April, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Hey, to be kind here
These hotts ain’t really all that
Some booze will fix that

7:35 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Douche has a sad tale
Survived Egyption bombing
Building bits left marks

7:37 am April, 1 Anonymous said...

Gimp from “Pulp Fiction”
loses clothes; inhibitions
must be skin-to-win

7:40 am April, 1 DarkSock said...

Drunk at Daily News,
Falls into comic printer –
Girls spend settlement.

7:41 am April, 1 DarkSock said...

Paul learns hard lesson
About passing out wet on
Pile of comic books.

7:42 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Circus Freak Show Man
Meets some locals on day off
But this won’t end well

7:42 am April, 1 DarkSock said...

The crazy thing is
His ejaculate squirts out,
Looks like Aim toothpaste.

7:45 am April, 1 DarkSock said...

Douche Maul saves the space
Still clear on his pec for his
Next victim’s portraits

7:46 am April, 1 DarkSock said...

When he wipes his ass
The used tissue looks just like
Tammy Faye Baker

7:48 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

His bad tat makes him
look bit like Ben Grimm, The Thing.
Or is he just grim?

7:51 am April, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Who’s more desperate?
The girls with daddy issues
Or me for looking?

7:54 am April, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Twenty Thousand Kids
And one guy trying too hard
Lola-fail-oosa

7:55 am April, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Hey there, waiter-boy
Is that a fly on your face?
Your shit clouds my view.

7:59 am April, 1 Condouchious said...

Things are looking rough,
Jesse James has fallen far,
Somewhere Sandra laughs

8:00 am April, 1 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

Dungeons and Dragons
Encounter table: Four nymphs
And an umber hulk.

8:00 am April, 1 Wedgie said...

My Dead Sea Scrolls haiku may be non-original work. I seem to remember something similar on a previous Friday. If this is true, I apologize to its author. But remember, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Or is that flatulence? I get those mixed up. Too much brown acid back in the day.

8:02 am April, 1 Condouchious said...

It’s Chris Andersen!
Smooth basketball pickup line:
Check out my Nuggets!

8:03 am April, 1 Daggerbagger' said...

Kelly glances leftwards
Soils her white panties
Kurt gets a boner

8:21 am April, 1 Hong Kong Douchey said...

State U soros dance
With the sideshow escapee
White van is nearby

8:25 am April, 1 Douchetastic Sam said...

Ugly Kid Joe tries
To hide from himself his own
Worthlessness, and fails

8:35 am April, 1 Douchetastic Sam said...

Happy clean white girls
The Thing from Tattoo Lagoon
Take refuge in “Woo”

8:44 am April, 1 Mr. Biggs said...

spring break woo hotties
summon Tatt Monstrosity,
leave scars on the soul

10:56 am April, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Midwestern farmgirls
whoop at scavenger hunt find:
porch beef tatt farmhand.

11:00 am April, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Rod Steiger wanna-
be “Illustrated man” co-
vers thighs for ladies.

11:03 am April, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Just a matter of
time before Execution-
er selects victim…

11:07 am April, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Maul got carried a-
way doodling tatts in class. Co-
eds prefer bare bear.

11:11 am April, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Gals showing skin are
so skanky sweet. Mauls showing
skin are porch beef dim.

11:13 am April, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Pirates no longer
bound fair maids, but make them do
the freak-dance instead.

11:19 am April, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Billis and the Na-
vy nurses whoop it up in
“South Pacific Douche.”

11:24 am April, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

A parents’ nightmare
is their daughters’ poor judgment.
What about HIS parents?

12:17 pm April, 1 Wheezer said...

Oh, sonofabitch…..
I’m back on day shift and I
couldn’t mock this? THIS?????

12:39 pm April, 1 Wheezer said...

New Choadiac sign
on his arm? No, he’s just a
generic Cancer.

12:48 pm April, 1 FoghornLeghorn said...

White shorts, blue tube top.
Just in from Minnesota,
dances with a douche.

1:50 pm April, 1 Anonymous said...

“Douche Maul is confused
Can’t remember which virgin
He left his sleeze in

– saulgoode42”

Funniest shit I have read in a long time. Classic

9:30 pm April, 1 xoffenderx said...

that’s just fucked up

4:34 am April, 3 Steve L. said...

pulling under age
clueless woo hotts with douchey
tatts: now or never!

12:33 pm April, 3 dewthedouche said...

Maynard James Keenan
shows us who the real tool is
ladies say “no thanks”

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