Friday, April 8, 2011
Friday Haiku
Jack Surfkovsky pwns
Hotts at the “Fast Five” premiere,
Shows them “Lil’ Diesel.”
Johnny Bravo clone
gets “charged” standing next to hotts.
“Discharge” shows on shorts.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Hotts smile two thumbs up
Old man yells “Get off my Lawn”
Jack walks home alone.
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
That’s a nice car Jack
Nothing says “I am not gay”
like a Ford Focus
— Jacques Doucheteau
Hotted-up Polo,
makes Chad happy, ’til ladies
look under his hood.
— Colossus of Choads
These PTP hotts
definitely “charged” Jack, on
his momma’s Visa.
— Mr. White
Jelly Dong Shifter
Mounted on the driver’s seat
With 5-point strap on.
— DarkSock
Just because you put
Your monster drink on top does
Not mean you own it.
— ehcuodouche
Johnny Bravo clone
gets “charged” standing next to hotts.
“Discharge” shows on shorts.
Charged with the crime of
Douchebag with real ugly shorts
Gets no poontang, girls
Hotts smile two thumbs up
Old man yells “Get off my Lawn”
Jack walks home alone.
What happened to the
good old days when kids would throw
rocks at dopey twats?
Red Sox fans ready
For dissapointment today
Decline free samples
That’s a nice car Jack
Nothing says “I am not gay”
like a Ford Focus
Jack says double “Heeey”
Chicks smile for shot as they know
Thumbs bigger than cockk
Amateur models
Thought they booked a real car show
But got Jack’s hoopty
“A-Class” in bio
would help the hotts recognize need
for Darwinism.
Hey ladies, want to
ride in a car built from crap
from the Autozone?
“Check out my rad style”
Jack brags to paid-to-pose babes
He is color blind
Beach time pimpin’ cans
Although we’ll pass on the Charged
To peep at hotts cans
How is Jack getting
charged? It must be cigarette
adaptor in ass.
Jack hit a raccoon
last night, tries to hide the gore
with a “Charged” sticker
Never would have guessed
2 Fast 2 Furious is
Jack’s favorite film
These PTP hotts
definitely “charged” Jack, on
his momma’s Visa.
Smell my thumbs ladies
Jack requests of sister Hotts
Thumbs back up Jack’s ass
The only thing charged
in this pic is Jack’s credit
cards for ego boost.
Hotted-up Polo,
makes Chad happy, ’til ladies
look under his hood.
The sign on Jack’s ride
Describes it so perfectly
They’re from “rent-a-ho”
Hey, look at that, guys
Jack borrowed Wee Man’s sweet ride
Fits for this Jack-ass
Neighbors wonder why
Hotts show up at young lads house
Craigslist call a slut
Even the drink can
on car roof is embarrassed
to be “charged” in pic.
Tim Gunn has “charged” Jack
with fashion crime for pastel
shorts and black tank top.
.
.
.
.
.
Yeah that sucked. I know. Running out of ideas.
Just because you put
Your monster drink on top does
Not mean you own it.
Jack has never been
To California, but
His pants are golden
He “Jacks” on the surf;
10 bucks a happy ending.
Bought car the hard way.
Jack makes a movie
Called “2 Fast, Bi-Curious”;
Released to SpankWire
Jack’s rad rice-burner
Exhibits a scalp goiter;
Jelly Dong Shifter
Jack seems a little
too “charged” that human pylons
kept good parking space.
“Hey, Jack”, the girls say,
“We’re tight in the curves too, babe”;
He doesn’t get it.
“Charged” with DUI:
Driving Under Influence
(Of Ed Hardy Trend)
Jelly Dong Shifter
Mounted on the driver’s seat
With 5-point strap on.
Two hot girls make out;
“Wow! Two real-life Libyans!”;
Jack? No, Sybian.
Hotts know that Jack can
dis-“charge” with mere wave of hand.
Jack just did it twice.
Got 4 on the floor
And a fifth under the seat;
Zero behind wheel.
who’s got two thumbs and
seven kinds of STD’s?
“this guy!” LOL
One hot hatchback, check
Two hot A-Class Charged girls, check
Small dick, sad days, yep
Jack gives two thumbs up:
It’s good to be Fifth Caller!
Sadly…life’s high point.
I came for the hotts,
I stayed for the mock,
Burma Shave!
Three rather plain folk
stand as charged: ignoring that
lovely rear landscape.
Bad taste knows no bounds,
as shorts reveal. Car emu-
lates it with decals.
my computer had
suddenly been overrun
with vomit. why? WHY?!