Friday, April 15, 2011

Friday Haiku

Pukey Flower Douche,
David Bowie Pin looks on,
As Hott Jenn gets grabbed.

I’d like to shtup Jenn.
Even if awkwardly so –
Dry hump at the bar

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Izzy Stradlin’ douche
plays guitar no more. Finger
growth from Axl’s pud?

— Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche

Jenn checks his package
Finds a half roll of breath mints
Tommie Lee he ain’t

— Mr. Scrotato Head

Young Ellen Barkin
Hott likes to be slutty. Tongue
Fung is not her bag.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

“Want some whipped butter?”
“Um, no, but can I speak to
the manager, please?”

— Mr. White

You are auto-douche,
let me count the ways: dog tags,
sunglasses inside
wristdanna, death tongue,
mandanna, douche hand gesture,
and bowie button.

— the douche is alright

# posted by douchebag1
7:00 am April, 15 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

His hat says ‘AssLick’
His Tongue says, “Been there,Done that!’
Scrote Definition!

7:03 am April, 15 the douche is alright said...

Could that be hair gel
on death tongue punk scrote’s ear lobe?
No, glob of semen

7:03 am April, 15 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I’d like to shtup Jenn.
Even if awkwardly so –
Dry hump at the bar

7:05 am April, 15 the douche is alright said...

He earned his dog tags
In the war of the douche bands.
Jenn’s his bleeth groupie.

7:07 am April, 15 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Scrote wears Gi-Normous
Goggles. He’s been blinded by
His shit. Death, Please come!

7:08 am April, 15 Mr. White said...

Cauliflower growth
on his finger, maybe time
to see a doctor?

7:09 am April, 15 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Whats up with dirty
Denim wrist band? It must say,
I pump gas for life.

7:10 am April, 15 the douche is alright said...

A rare double haiku……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
You are auto-douche,
let me count the ways: dog tags,
sunglasses inside

wristdanna, death tongue,
mandanna, douche hand gesture,
and bowie button.

7:11 am April, 15 Mr. White said...

He rests his Cosmo
on Jenn’s boob shelf–not the best
use of that hott spot.

7:12 am April, 15 Mr. White said...

His customer says,
“On second thought, cancel my
ice cream order, please.”

7:12 am April, 15 the douche is alright said...

Jenn is not impressed
with this scrote’s choice of wardrobe.
but wants more free drinks

7:16 am April, 15 Mr. White said...

“Want some whipped butter?”
“Um, no, but can I speak to
the manager, please?”

7:17 am April, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Izzy Stradlin’ douche
plays guitar no more. Finger
growth from Axl’s pud?

7:18 am April, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Jenn checks his package
Finds a half roll of breath mints
Tommie Lee he ain’t

7:19 am April, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Jenn is not impressed
he can pull jizz from thin air.
Knows it’s from keester.

7:19 am April, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Booger on finger
Plus package readjustment
Equals empty pants

7:20 am April, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her eyes suggest yes.
Pukie says its a go, But
Yeast finger says no.

7:21 am April, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Looks like he used the
“Pull my finger” joke too much.
Fart sack growth now huge.

7:21 am April, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Young Ellen Barkin
Hott likes to be slutty. Tongue
Fung is not her bag.

7:22 am April, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Douche reacts to yeast
check performed on Jenn just now.
Anyone for cheese?

7:23 am April, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Young Heather Locklear
Why’d you do “TJ Hooker”?
It all makes sense now

7:23 am April, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Trucker hat boner
Has quite a coat on his tongue.
Cockolate Souffle?

7:25 am April, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Neal got a booboo
From playing his ax too hard
By axe he means cockk

7:25 am April, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She likes her drinks red
He gave her rusty trombone.
The brown never lies.

7:25 am April, 15 Mr. White said...

“After Great White, we
can’t do pryo,” he explains.
“So we flick butter.”

7:27 am April, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Denim wristbana.
Johnny out of the rehab.
Horton Hears a poo.

7:28 am April, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Douche kicked out of band
for stabbing singer in eye.
Not Cotton-eyed Joe.

7:29 am April, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Random apparel.
Denim and denim broke ass.
Needs to go for broke.

7:32 am April, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Douche now rendered mute
after contents gone from head.
Jenn doesn’t notice.

7:33 am April, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I got it. I got your
Number on the wall. Eight, six,
Seven, five. three. skank.

7:37 am April, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Boss cuts us off too
early. Mr. White was on
fire. Damn funny shit.

7:38 am April, 15 ehcuodouche said...

Mister White’s haiku
Made me laugh, order jelly
Instead for pancakes

7:45 am April, 15 The Fourth Horseman of the Douchepocalypse said...

All Douche signs are there
Middle finger points to the
offender. So sad.

8:52 am April, 15 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Let us hope,
that up her poon,
did douche find that cream,
BURMA SHAVE

10:44 am April, 15 DarkSock said...

Todd smooths Nancy’s ass;
He digs out cellulite clumps
With rooked fingernail.
.
.
.
Damn, too late AGAIN….

7:37 pm April, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

They dress like their con-
dos: Hers, minimal modern.
His, trashed and cluttered.

8:39 pm April, 15 idfma said...

‘clasick’ [sic] douche trucker’s
cap and mandan–what’s sick?
She looks 40. Now.
.
.
.
Talk about too fuckin’ late…

8:40 pm April, 15 idfma said...

yes, that was supposed to be, ‘mandana’. Shit.

8:44 pm April, 15 idfma said...

what? are they at a
wedding? whatever it is
Bowie disapproves.

8:51 am April, 17 Anonymist said...

What is Jenn doing?!
Stop playing hands in the pants!
This guy’s a piece of…

Oh, it all makes sense:
Wiping after massive dump.
She’s really classy.

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