Friday, April 8, 2011

Friday Thoughts and Links

As Friday drifts into afternoon and Los Angeles refuses to warm up for spring, I ponder Melvin Hunting Inflata-Boobies.

Not just this particular Melvin.

All the Melvins hunting Inflata-Boobies.

Did we learn nothing from the 90s silicone years?

Have we not come far from those bleach blonde peroxided halcyon days of economic prosperity and pre-boy-band innocence?

Perhaps not. But we’ll always have HoHos.

Here’s Your Links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “The supermodels, Willy? That’s all they are. Bottled promise. Scenes from a brand new day. Hope dancing in stiletto heels.”

Lighting fail.

San Francisco chef Russell Jackson has good taste.

Correction: Toni Braxton did not say “I have a big-ass house, three cars and I fly first class all around the world. Some say I have the perfect life.” For the record.

American Iranians bust out some Persianbaggery.

Mecha Hineyho Fist Pumps by a homeless guy. Come at him, bro.

Clark Griswold still approves of 57 Year old Hottness. “This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!” (splash)

The only known photograph of a nude Liz Taylor was released after her death, taken when she was 24. It is a tasty slice of nostalgia Hollywood dreamland Cleopatric suckle thigh.

Almost looks like a baby’s arm.

More trips down memory lane from the DB1’s earliest childhood memories growing up in Boston, the TV ad for the incomparable and wonderful Boston Museum of Science that ran for nearly ten years on local stations: It’s Fun to Find Out!

For the Hipsterbags, a new song: I Hate Your Mustache!

Some magazine writer guy theorizes that older men like younger women because of cultural influence. He forgot boobies.

Now before we get to the Pear, lets first celebrate The Hottest Hott in the History of Victorian Furnished Drawing Rooms. Her shakes and shimmies reinforce a belief in spiritual deities of divinity.

And from uberhott shake, we come to Pear:

Painted Hoop Pear

Your reward for a week of quality mock. And on towards the weekend shalst we traverse proudly, head high and sack taut.

# posted by douchebag1
1:02 pm April, 8 Anonymous said...

Take that, John Boner.

1:25 pm April, 8 Crottenham said...

Nice boobies, bit of a horseface though.

1:33 pm April, 8 Wedgie said...

^So saddle up and quit yer bitchin’, Hoss.

1:34 pm April, 8 Wedgie said...

Nice painted poop pear.

1:37 pm April, 8 Banana Hammock said...

My my my, Rupaul ‘s got some nice cans

1:42 pm April, 8 Banana Hammock said...

Looks like Stephen Cojocaru finally got those implants… Only thing between him and a Real Doll now is the job title.

1:54 pm April, 8 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Hmmm…Liz Taylor and Hoops Pear? this is indeed a good Friday, especially if I hit a 3 in Hoops Pear.

1:57 pm April, 8 Boner said...

Boner. Boner. Boner. Daisy Lowe. Boner. Boner. Boner.

2:19 pm April, 8 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Some odd links today DB1. But naked Liz, Daisy Love and the painted pear save the day. Looks like Mecha Hineyho did another cycle or two. Just more of a douche to mock.

2:30 pm April, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wow! That was as mind bending as it was disturbing. I like it. More virtuosity and then I get drunk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qb_Uu0eTNWK.

3:29 pm April, 8 Mock Marked said...

Mecha Hiney Ho is still at it? Comforting in a way I guess.

3:29 pm April, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

Hmmmm!!!!! painted hoop pear makes me double dribble and want to drain a 3 pointer an by drain…. well you know I mean.
.
Daisy Lowe is hot and Gavin Rossdale is a douche!!!
.
As for Christie Brinkley I’d still “go for it” I also wouldn’t mind driving her Ferrari 308 GTS
.
Inflata- Boobies raven haired friend is sooo much more appealing. Dare I say she has the Eye of Coitis?
.

3:30 pm April, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

I’m gonna quote the esteemed DarkSock from this past Sunday
.
“I hope I come back in the next life as a cow in India. I hope Joey Porsche, Donk and StackHouse come back as Bollywood Stunt Horses.”
.
and add Mecha Hineyho to the list. What a dick!!! and kudo’s to the homeless guy for NOT high-fiving the ass clown (see 19 sec mark).

3:43 pm April, 8 The Reverend Chad in Rehab Jonesing said...

Wow! I was so sober I had to get drunk. I missed Liz, Christie, and that ever so cute CoJo. My cock is ready to explode, fucking kids.

3:48 pm April, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@The Reverend Chad in Rehab Jonesing
.
I’m home now dude.

4:01 pm April, 8 Medusa Oblongata said...

Sweet baby jeebus. I’m terrified of the blonde in the photo. TERRIFIED.
.
Interesting article. And yes, I read the whole thing. That touches on an interesting point: If men seek out fertile women for breeding due to pure biological instinct, then why do they not breed with such women? If their instinct is driving their choice, then why do they then act in a manner contrary to instinct? If it’s instinctual to be attracted to women who can breed, why aren’t straight men sucking dick for fun? Innnnnteresting…..
.
Christie Brinkley. I’d hit it real hard.
.
Hang in there, Rev. Chad.
.
I’m working tonight. Argh. Have a good time tonight, kiddies.

4:06 pm April, 8 Wedgie said...

Thanks for the Blind Faith video, Reverand. Clapton on his worst day is still one of the best ever. I always liked this band.
Plus, I’m pretty sure I saw my Mom in the crowd, so that’s a fuccen Friday bonus.

4:53 pm April, 8 tall guy said...

Painted Pear I like, although blondie jaw i suspect of being a stage 2 (with stage 3 rising) bleeth, however I’d need T. Tempest Esq’s confirmation. She is terrifying, Medusa!

5:08 pm April, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Medusa
.
I’ve never understood why men would consciously seek out younger women. I’ve always enjoyed the companionship of older women because THEY”RE JUST MORE FUCCEN INTERESTING than some twat that is 10, 15, or 20 years (holy shit I’m getting old) my junior. What could I possible have in common with some gum-twirling twat that was 10 years old when 9-11 happened? With age comes maturity (not always but usually) and the ability to think and reason in ways that youngsters don’t have because they lack the necessary life experiences. Besides, older women know what they want (again usually) both in and out of the bedroom and don’t have a problem telling a man this. And I thank them for it. The bullshit and game playing are kept to a minimum and honesty and openness are embraced. Mrs. Doc Bunsen is older and I thank the good Lord above every day that I have her in my life. I was never able to carry on conversations or pretend to share interests with “women” my own age or younger because of their shallowness and imbecility. Sure my wife and I can act like 4 year olds sometimes but it is usually about some topic like Pauli spin matrices or various theories about chemical bonding because we’re nerds but we can also turn around and discuss ideas about Middle East politics and how the U.S. has meddled in them from the 1800’s to the best way to make a proper chai drink at high levels of discourse. We are extreme nerds though. Younger women don’t know (and more importantly don’t care) about anything that isn’t directly related to them at the present moment or 5 minutes from now. It’s maddening to try to communicate with such beasts. Sure, if I just wanted someone to merely a fuck and suck my brains out, then a young women would do the job just as well as an older one. The difference is that I can take the older one to dinner (or breakfast) afterwards and continue to enjoy her company or both a physical AND intellectual level. The younger one would only pay attention to the prices on the menu and see if her bff has texted her about your date. So I urge all of our single baghunters to go for that older woman (I hate the stupid ass term “cougar”). You’ll be sure as hell glad you did.

5:30 pm April, 8 tall guy said...

Agree with Dr Honeydouche. Hate the term cougar and I’ve never chased younger women. Looked at a few though and dated a couple who asked me (and who clearly had an agenda other than my veritable sweet natured companionship – and maybe a bit of the other. However I am single, so what would I know about relationships with the squeakier sex.

6:21 pm April, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Dr.Bunsen
.
As I have now been unsoberized and let loose to the needs of a 42 year old woman for the next 48 hours until I need more soberizing, and she is now asleep in the sleep of porn star victims. I thank you, I must agree with your abbreviated treatise above. The older female is a horny bitch. My older horny bitch is younger but can put up with a lot of shit. Young girls, they are nice to look at and squeeze and bone and lick and finger and ass-fuck because they are so drunk they don’t know what you are doing. Their tits are still firm and willing and most of them are absent of stretch marks, genital warts. Most of them suck, particularly if they are Catholic like me because they like to think they are virgins. But most of them are stupid. Stupidity is not all bad if you are running a small harem when you are young, but fuck man once you hit 40 chasing two or three self-absorbed little tarts, as fun as it must be, has to be exhausting. My recent stay at the special hotel allowed me a glimpse into the psyche of the 18-25 year old woman. They are all crazy and lacivious. They don’t care if you’re married or the nurses are looking, they just want cock and to get out of the psycho ward for the weekend. Sweet dears, they’ll all be back Monday when I go in for some follow up and the first guy that shows some rock tonight will have all of them. My sample may not be statistically significant because of my small test group and the fact that they were all medically of legally committed to the ward last weekend. Dr. Bunsen, my colleague in socio/psychological studies posits a valid point. The older female with her always hot pussy and existential shelf where she parked her morals after Daddy got the Alzheiner’s. Did ya get that? Existential shelf, that may be a keeper. She knows that she will pay for dinner, she will get both of you drunk, she will be responsible for her own orgasm, and she will be discreet. Unless she has been divorced in which case if you are married with the cougar you are doomed. Unless she is a toothless meth head, she will find your house, she will watch, and she will go all crazy Glenn Close on you. The older woman is only for the single guys. She is good infill for the next month until the beautiful semi-chubs start to golf, boat, and play tennis again, then it is time for the 20 pound overweight summer to begin for my young fellows. Carpe thiem. Seize the thigh my young fellow for it is spring and spring springs eternal like lust for Christie Brinkley and the next years vintage of Dalwhinnie. The chubs Dads’ will love you for a short time at least because their daughter is happy and tanned and finally someone is using the catamaran 35″ that her deceased mother bought two months before Daddy met his new Thai wife, all of 27 years old and full of trade winds and spice.
Dulcimer winds blow you and sweet pretty Chubs around the Caribbean. I’ll pay for that tennis bracelet. My sweet young chubby sailor that won’t leave my cock alone says no way stud, Daddy will pay and I’ll tell him you bought it just fuck me in my dirty ass. I just ate asparagus, so if you have some green seeds on your cock don’t be surprised. Green seeds on my cock be damned, I just lost my train of thought again. I would never think of duplicitous conjoining while married to the much vaunted Mrs. Kroeger, new businesswoman of the year, mother extraordinaire, Kiwanian, and general smart slut, curling guru, yogi…unless the chance arose I would take a couple of spinners and drug them Mike-style fucle them in another town and leave them by the ?hydrpelectric plant to be found warm, disoriented, and safe with big smile and prolapsed uterii from the abuse my big balls and stick gave them before they lost track of what happened. So as we all prepare for the Passover Seder two Tuesdays from now, remember to get your balls boiled in advance, air out your house from the smell of fish, and cook your brisket slowly. And remember thank a cougar for your holiday blow job. Will Tiger of Phil win the Master’s I don’t think so?! Will I do oxy anymore? No. I’ve been cut off. Will I ever fly a space shuttle? I don’t think so. But the Montreal Canadians could win the Cup. The Red Sox will win the pennant. That Portugugesee dude will win at tennis a few times. I will suck at golf again. But fuck can I cook me a good prime rib on the rotisserie. !0 weeks of little girls taking swimming lessons while I look at the lithe young bodies of the 16 year old girls that I like to think may be attracted to the silver fox watching patiently over his female brood like a man in charge that would take the three of them to equal his age when mutliplied as the sun stroke cripples his frail alcoholic body and lurches him farther into the depressing realization that he is closer to death than birth with immense responsibilities heaoing upon his shoulders. Fuck it. Like Gilligan said, “Professor, Ginger wants your bone.” Rush rules.

6:34 pm April, 8 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

wow! you guys are in full blow debate club tonight. I better grab another beer or two.

7:47 pm April, 8 Collaz B P said...

All about the brunette in this pic…..FWAPPIN.

7:59 pm April, 8 Wedgie said...

Well the Red Sox better get their collective asses in gear, because 0-6 don’t cut it in the East, Rev. Especially not with that payroll.
Chowderhead Nation is grippin’ big time.

9:29 pm April, 8 Hermit said...

I’d shave my groin with the jagged-edged top of a Campbell’s Soup® can, to spend a few rare and precious moments with an aluminum ladder which fell off a truck on an interstate where painted hoop pear may have driven once.

9:41 pm April, 8 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

ref: Persian Baggery
.
.

Now we know why they wear burkas.

10:08 pm April, 8 london escorts said...

Looks like you had a great fun out there on Friday, and even in las vegas, which is the hot and happening place in the would which never sleeps. I have been to Las Vegas once and I would say that it was the most remember able moment in my life.

10:44 pm April, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Re: the Persians. May the doucheable ones be rolled in Persian rugs and shipped off to warehouses.

Re: Nude Elizabeth. Well, at last we know one of Roddy MacDowell’s carefully well-kept secrets, and he was very well-known for his ability to keep them.
ELizabeth was just as well-known for her great friendship with Roddy, and in fact, many gay men.

It has been said that Mike Todd was the great love of Liz Taylor’s life, and Mr Burton was in reality, a more distant second. I could agree. Life goes on.

Melvin Hunting Inflata-Boobies is a variant of Where’s Waldobag? By the expression on their faces, he’s bolted down a few, and hers are clearly bolted-on. Now, I’m gonna go put on some Michael Bolton and reflect on what I just surmised.

1:30 am April, 9 Guid is Good said...

Mecha Hineyho has forfeited the right to make fun of all humanity. On the other hand, the homeless guy now realises he hasn’t hit rock bottom yet.

8:40 am April, 9 Norma Mockwell said...

@RevChad, I’m glad you’re not my dad. And I mean that in the most respectful way possible. It just makes me appreciate my awesome Pops that much more. Welcome home btw.
.
And effing LOL Hermit, she doesn’t deserve your level of devotion.

10:30 am April, 9 creature said...

big fake cans negate the need to ever look this gal in the eye

11:39 am April, 9 DarkSock said...

Marylin Manson got a boob job?

10:25 pm April, 9 Douchble Helix said...

Platinum blonds with fake cans is why our men and women in the service protect this country.

7:10 pm April, 10 Steve L. said...

Christie Brinkley is fucking creepy.
creepy in a way that makes you cum harder as you masturbate, that is.

9:43 pm April, 10 Sergent Douchal said...

best ass pear in a long time

10:52 am April, 11 Tony Ventresca said...

Whoop @10:44… Good old Roddy McDowell. Loved him in “Tales of the Gold Monkey”, which I just watched.

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