Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Granpa Chin

For the ladies with daddy complexes.

Grandaddy complexes.

Oh Statuesque Cheryl.How you would break me into a wimpering sobbing hallucinogenic puddle with the touch of one soft, pillowed boobosity. I would read you old Dickens novels by flashlight in a double sleeping bag, and then quietly hump your purse while you sext with the bartender at Tao.

And I see you too, perfect Brunette Jacqueline. Your suckle thigh milkshake body taut is a feast for the eyes and your mamms slay polar bears.

Thank you for being you. Just please don’t speak. It adds nothing.

No. really. Don’t speak. Don’t. Speak.

Dammit.

No, I do not know where Tony went with the Bud Light Lime you were drinking.

# posted by douchebag1
9:16 am April, 13 MoeDouche said...

Stunning pair of ladies….and boobs too!

9:22 am April, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Does Blondie’s tatt say “banana rub ridge”? Can’t…say…anything…wife…will…kill…me…

9:53 am April, 13 Stop, Drop and Mock! said...

Doc B, I suggest you get your pair back. Does making a comment mean you’re going to have sex with this woman? Yeah, probably not. If it does, then that’s the problem. Everybody looks, even your wife. Unless she’s Amish or a robot, or an Amish robot.
.
I’ve think I’ve covered my bases when I say that more than likely it is the douchebag who has yet to get over his complex Daddy issues. But I’m sure these chicks in bikinis probably have them too. I see your not so subtle chin point douche and it makes me yearn for the day when your face will match the ones on your tanky top. Have fun partying under the Monorail at Disneyland. If these women ever get to see the contents of your shorts I’m sure it will be the “Its a Small World” ride all over again.

9:57 am April, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I think those are real and I like that like that. Boinng!!!! He has the same color hair as me if the Mrs. didn’t die it. Is it douche to die my hair? I’m gonna die soon anyway cause I eat like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFB_vHVFM_8&feature=related.

9:59 am April, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^It works. Son. Ignore the gay Canadian guy running for Prime Minister for 10 seconds. Meat Salad.

10:17 am April, 13 Banana Hammock said...

Where in the world did he find matching underpants
.

Enjoying the small bottom’s but that’s a whole lotta Bleeth goin’ on.

10:27 am April, 13 Stop, Drop and Mock! said...

@RevChad 9:57a, do you die it because you want to look younger, or do you die it because your wife wants you to look younger? Douche the first way, pussy whipped the second way. My Moms hair turned grey at 30 like full on white, I always thought it was cool that she never died it. My Dads hair didn’t turn grey till way later like 50. He thought about dying but then realized it would be foolish. He’s a silver fox and proud of it.

10:32 am April, 13 Crottenham said...

That dude looks alot like Shawn Rees, famed from gonzo porn site Milfhunter……has moved onto younger prey?!?

http://www.wikiporno.org/wiki/MilfHunter

10:37 am April, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

Dare I say that’s John Largeman in the background right over Brunette Jacqueline’s shoulder? and if so how dare they crash Johns pre-race tailgating festivities before the Kobalt Tools 400 at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

10:46 am April, 13 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

A party in the Sleep Inn – Vegas north parking lot. King Douchuous and Smoot would even know better than to be seen there.

11:00 am April, 13 Fatness said...

At least the GSR is on the correct body this time.
.
Granpa Chin will be found dazed and wandering under the Las Vegas Blvd./US93 overpass at 4:43 AM Sunday morning muttering something about his wallet, rental car and two amazon aliens.

11:07 am April, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Best bikini bottoms ever on Statuesque Cheryl…I see camel toe.
I have a hard time mocking granpa chin when he’s pulling HOF quality tail, even if it’s just for the photo shoot.

12:35 pm April, 13 Wheezer said...

Shoving your chin fung outwards doesn’t make you taller, douchepud. Maybe you could try asking Statuesque Cheryl Hott to kneel, though I’m sure she’d see right through that.
.
Then again, she’s “blonde.”

12:37 pm April, 13 Jim Beam said...

Seriously?

Boob tat???

Seriously?

1:45 pm April, 13 I R A Darth Aggie said...

What the hell is that tattooed on blondie’s ribcage? tho I give you points for the groin brazilian reveal, dear.

3:12 pm April, 13 Banana Hammock said...

Maybe this is a brilliant remake of Weekend at Bernie’s where Granpa Chin plays the dead guy and we trade out those two puds for GSR Bleeth? i’d see that.
.
just sayin’

3:23 pm April, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Someone please ID that blonde. Gah! I want to hickey the i-Pod operating manual in the folds between her hips and lower abs. That is the sexiest body we’ve had here in a long long time, brayheims.
.
Her pubis has it’s own national holiday in Sweden

7:11 pm April, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

Worst tattoos ever: “Um, I like, want a sayinnnnnng, on my ribcage, like, right heeeeeeeere,” *drawing a curved line under her tit* “and I want it to say ‘[bible verse or nonsensical ‘inspirational’ phrase]’.”
.
And then you get them in the chair, and they are too shy to unhook their bra so you can get at the spot. And the skin is all chafed and red from the bra-strap elastic and everything smells slightly of sweat. Every time you even approach them with the needle, they gasp and jerk away, so when you do actually make contact, the line work looks like that of a legally blind alcoholic with Parkinson’s disease. And then she stands in front of the mirror, squashing her tit up to her chin, twisting back and forth, making a little screwy-face and saying, “Could you, like, fix the liiiineeeeeees a little? It looks a little ock-word. Like, it’s a little crook-it?”
.
So you go back in for another pass. And she does the same shit. Now it looks like you tried to write it in 3D because there are two series of lines instead of one. And It’s just going to get all fucked up anyway, because she’s going to clamp her Victoria’s Secret Love Pink Steel Belted Radial Aqua Push Ultra Pump Kiss Kiss bra over the tattoo, so tight it could strangle a Rhino. ‘Cause that’s how she makes it look like her B-point-fives are a D plus. And you know in ten years her tits are going to slide down her torso like wet paint, and she’s going to need a spatula to lift those floppers to even see the tattoo. By that point, the damn thing will have spread out into a blurry, blue, illegible mess anyway. So you just pocket the hundred and thirty bucks, tip another shot of vodka into your coffee, and remind yourself to get a lottery ticket on the way home.
.
Sorry. I’ve had a hard week. Carry on.

7:59 pm April, 13 Vin Douchal said...

@ The Devine Ms M
.
I need to inspect her tittytatt up close and in person to verify your story. Also I hear rumor her snatchadilly smells like McNugget honey mustard dipping sauce. Need to inspect / taste test that , too.
.
Ya think she has a saying as a tramp stamp, a butterfly/Tinkerbell/dragonfly or just a cutsie flowery design?

8:25 pm April, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Those chicks are hot-damn Hott.
Ogling-lalla Hott.
So flippin’ Hott.
Singe-the-flesh-and-leave-the-bones Hott.
As in “Look at all dem skulls on his shirt.”
As in, “Hey, what’s with the catacombs fixation, Son?”

8:37 pm April, 13 Stephanie said...

That guy must be blind as a bat,would he actually choose those clothes? Where do you find crap like that?

10:45 pm April, 13 Steve L. said...

the Ghost of Charles Dickens would not approve of having his work read recited to some dumb bimbo.






unless she has killer boobs and legs.
there. i said it.

10:03 am April, 14 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Is she 6’10” Or is he 5’1″ ?

Mini-douchebag

10:06 am April, 14 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Granpa Chin is still using his Garanimals

11:29 pm April, 14 Lord of Nipples said...

Anyone else notice that the one on the left is tall enough for the one on the right to suck her nipples without bending over? Her boobs are literally face height for the rightie.

9:13 pm April, 15 Dr. Feelgood said...

So nice to see Grampy take the kiddies for a walk.

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