Monday, April 18, 2011

Jesus Chest Guy and Buff Kimberly Voted

Your standard issue Jesus Chest Guy and Buff Kimberly decided to drop by and vote in the HCwDB of the Month.

Have you voted yet?

# posted by douchebag1
12:16 pm April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sweet Passover Seder and Easter in the same week, that is Rabbi Benjamin Kutisownkoktipoff and Kimberly the spokesmodel for Jews for Jesus.

12:18 pm April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

He looks like what Keith Richards would look like if he didn’t consume copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. He’s a young talentless Jesus bling wearing Keith Richards pullin a Katherine Hiegle look alike. Lick it up!

12:33 pm April, 18 Wedgie said...

Wow, Katherine Heigl looks pissed off. Maybe she regrets leaving Grey’s Anatomy. Or looking at Chest Guy’s anatomy.

12:46 pm April, 18 Anonymous said...

I would love to lick Manischewitz concord wine off of her taut body as it cascades gently down her firm, supple breasts.

1:14 pm April, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

I see you Kimberly in all your buffery and I can only imagine what your legs and rump look like. I approve and I also can’t help but notice the painful expression in your smile that says get me away from this idiot.
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For some reason I wanna say she is in porn, could be my imagination but she looks familiar and by familiar I mean naughty.

1:17 pm April, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

Savannah Sampson of Howard Stern show fame???

2:25 pm April, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

holy crap is he creepy looking. her face says “uh, oh I just sharted.”

2:29 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

My fondest hope is that just out of frame is the 14 pound dead halibut that was ricocheted violently off the side of his skull plate with a loud *SPOP!* noise, rendering his head at the involuntary dutch angle shown here whilst simultaneously befouling Kimberly’s unboogered and flared nostrils with the justice-laden stench of high-speed projectile shame-fish.

2:41 pm April, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

“projectile shame-fish” FTW!!!!

2:48 pm April, 18 Douche Springsteen said...

Is this a before & after sexual reassignment surgery picture that has been combined in the same frame with the miracle of digital photo editing software?

2:50 pm April, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

Who wears the pants in that family? Seriously. I think she’s borrowing his dress. Ok, his Nair.

2:53 pm April, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

It’s the classic smile that says she’s pushing down a gag reflex because the partners convinced her this douchebag is normal and not a crime against nature. Go with your gut, Kimberly.
Then let me go with it.

3:06 pm April, 18 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Kimberly has the look of “I f-ing hate Axe!!”

3:08 pm April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

I torqued my neck a month ago and have been looking at the world with the same angle.
.
Twice weekly physical therapy adjusting and massage has not worked and I suspiciously suspect it’s because I asked the therapist if there’s a happy ending involved. He said, “No”

3:21 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

^never hurts to ask

3:24 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

I would also nominate this photo, which I would title “Her Unfortunate Moment of Self-Awareness”, to be part of the inevitable “HCWDB SHOW AT THE GUGGENHEIM IN THE YEAR 2023”.

3:26 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

My shovel thirsts for his face like Lindsey Lohan’s veins thirst for ya-yo.

4:17 pm April, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Et Tu 1:17pm
.
After some careful “investigation”, I can positively conclude that this is indeed the Ms. Sampson of which you speak. Good catch. Now I feel I need to make a closer “inspection” to determine the cause of that face she’s making.

4:21 pm April, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think he’s the pube fluffer for the midget bestiality scat porn next door “Curious George Flings Poo at the Customers in a Porn Shop”. He holds his head that way to fluff the actor playing Curious George.

4:56 pm April, 18 wolfram74 said...

Looks like Savannah Sampson , Porn Star, to me

6:01 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

It’s not the stupid pose that enrages; it’s the absolute certainty of his “Yeah, I’m tha Shit” attitude inside his head. Only one way to be sure of what’s inside his head; Split it open NOW.

6:05 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

One upside of living in Mis’sippi: If you strike a pose like the one he is vamping here, a bunch of big ol’ boys will appear out of thin air and commence to putting the Stomp on your ass like cheese on grits. It’s more than worth the illiteracy and high cholesterol.
.
.
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Added bonus: no matter how bad you or your wife run the Audi off into a ditch, the same big ol’ boys suddenly appear with big ass V8 pickups with lift kits to winch your ass out. It doesn’t matter if you’re Perez Hilton wearing a jelly dong overcoat; they will fist-fight over the privilege of pulling a mofo out of a ditch.

6:06 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

“Who’s the gay caveman?”
.
heh heh heh

7:08 pm April, 18 Steve L. said...

Kimberly looks like a personal trainer. which means that she’ll turn 70 decades before she actually reaches 70 years of age.

7:33 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

She looks like an avatar of Sarah Palin’s alleged clitoris, which I’ve seen from the shores of Soviet Russia.
.
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^ Channeling RevChad; sorry.

7:47 pm April, 18 Strategies said...

Im Grunde genommen n guter Beitrag, aber konnt ihr im nachsten Post nicht n wenig ausfuhrlicher schreiben? 🙂

8:42 pm April, 18 Guid is Good said...

Kimberly looks a little distressed. She should be.

9:35 pm April, 18 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Kimberly’s got the salmon pink fish look down just right for Holy Week, but swiping a rosary from the Blue Nun is no way to respectfully sanctify the Stations of the Cross come Friday evening, no matter how much holy water Kyle has in that plastic container.

7:01 am April, 19 Deltus said...

She reminds me of a young Hilary Swank. And that, and therefore she, makes me turgid in my no-no places. Now excuse me, I’mma go beat it with some shame-fish.

9:47 am April, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Didn’t Hugh Grant learn anything from his first encounter with an “escort”?

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