Thursday, April 21, 2011

Johnny McJohn’s Scarf Fail

But on the plus side, if this New York cookiewank ever decides to go scarf bungee jumping, this might happen.

Coy Elena, her of the downtown poetry readings and cute studio apartment, deserves better. I would buy her tasty rounds of soup dumplings at the downtown Joe’s Shanghai, then provide over an hour of awkward and limited conversation about my analyst before she quickly called a cab and I headed over to The Sugo Bar next to Supper to drown my sorrows in some single malt.

# posted by douchebag1
9:44 am April, 21 Baron Von Goolo said...

Unless Colombian drug lords are planning on dousing it with gasoline and setting it on fire.
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Then I’m all for it.

9:51 am April, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I’m calling this pic out as a modelbag. Looks too perfect. Don’t get me wrong, he looks like a complete tool, but I think he’s paid to pose in douche attire.

9:59 am April, 21 Anonymist said...

Pleated jeans? Really? REALLY?! Or are those just miniature flies, designed for getting sucked off in all different directions? In which case, I’d like a pair.

Looks like he used the public restroom and put the seat protection around his neck; does he need illustrated instructions?… although, it’s a very clever way to subtly suggest they go glass-bottom boating – which if it works, I’ll be green with envy (and he’ll be brown with smugness).

While Johnny fails to grasp the functionality of his attire, I’m going to go motorboat Elena’s ass and help her inner kink unfurl. I wonder if he’ll notice the difference when she goes from “John” to “ANON” in bed!

10:03 am April, 21 Ted Brogan said...

His jeans and scarf appear to be made out of the same kind of material.

10:03 am April, 21 tall guy said...

Agreed. He makes that carefree look appear quite studied. He’d fit right into an episode of The City. Also, those trousers are hideous! Elena, on the other (right) hand, gives the impression that everything belonging to her is nicely tight.

10:06 am April, 21 dbBen said...

Nice pants man

10:06 am April, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So the latest fashion accessory is going to be the David Carradine auto-erotic asphyxiation choker/scarf for the horny douche on the go that can’t get any so he has to go home pass out while whacking off in a closet. Wow, just wow.
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What? Way too late?

10:15 am April, 21 DarkSock said...

Why would you wear something that makes your head appear to be an engorged mule clitoris?

10:18 am April, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Product placement , Db1?
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YouTube got it right when that Croc video was listed under the category “Entertainment”. Could have also been listed loving thrill seekers” and “Morons”

10:19 am April, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Wow ^ half of that message dissapeared. I have computer issues, see ya

10:21 am April, 21 Abe Froman said...

Its the pleats.

10:40 am April, 21 Mr. White said...

Sorry, DB1, but you’re way off on your analysis of Elena. She lives on the Upper East Side and never goes south of Union Square. She won’t even go past the midway point of Central Park because the Upper West Side is too dirty. Her idea of “slumming it” is eating something that wasn’t imported. She still has nightmares about that one time she went out with that musician guy who made her take the 6 train. She stayed on for two stops and then fled in tears, straight to her neo-Freudian analyst and then to the spa for a full-body exfoliation because there might have been a homeless guy somewhere near her.
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I would totally pee her butt. After, I’d tell her I used to live in Queens, just to watch her fragile psyche crumble.

10:40 am April, 21 DarkSock said...

I just ordered Mr. White’s birthday present.

10:57 am April, 21 Vin Douchal said...

The 27bslash6.com dude is back with a piss yer pants hilarious post. ‘Scuse me, gotta change my underoos
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David Thorne may be one of the funniest people alive

10:58 am April, 21 Deltus said...

Mr. White, you, sir, are a gentleman.

11:12 am April, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

Modelbaggery and I bet he’s an H-Mo

11:17 am April, 21 Tanath said...

I love Joe’s…the one on 56 is good but of course China town is better…i go to the one on 56

12:13 pm April, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Talk about taking’ your work home with you. Hey asshole, the table cloths are supposed to stay ON the table after you’re done with your shift. Good grief!

12:13 pm April, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

Model bags. Maybe he’s wearing a pleated skirt. It would go well with his vagina scarf.

12:15 pm April, 21 DouchYouWannaDance said...

I believe this photo came with my wallet. 🙂

12:21 pm April, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Actually it looks like he’s wearing Z. Cavaricci pants, circa 1986. Thank jebus I saved mine and can now wear them out again. Break dancing anyone ?

1:26 pm April, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yeah, She’s definitely a model and he’s a homo. I rocked those pants in 1985. Oh size 26 denim rugby pants where art thou.

1:57 pm April, 21 Stephanie said...

Well,he could go the same way as Isadora Duncan,and then,we’d never have to worry about him again..They both look like ads for upscale crap clothing made in china.

2:21 pm April, 21 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

DB1: for a die-hard Los Angeleno bag/babe hunter, you show remarkable acquaintance with the NYC restaurant scene.

I would peg the hott as regular bar-bait at Minetta Tavern or Waverly Inn, and would drown my sorrows after her imperious rejection of me with a $6 bowl of pho and a 33 beer at Nha Trang.

He, I would send to Tad’s Steaks for a dose of reality.

2:21 pm April, 21 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

…and by “reality” I mean all the social diseases he deserves…

2:28 pm April, 21 Snoop Douchey Douche said...

Megods, what about that wank doesn’t fail?
The uneven spray tan?
The multiple pleats in each pant leg of his jeans?
Why do I look at these pics when I’m not over the flu? smh.

2:41 pm April, 21 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Ah, a scarf! Useful if you want to reduce his neck from a size 16 to about a size 8. Just watch out for the flailing limbs.

3:40 pm April, 21 Steve L. said...

@ Mr. White 10:40 AM,
i was wondering why Elena would call a cab when there are subway stops underneath every single traffic light in NYC, but your explanation of the 6 train totally made sense.

3:51 pm April, 21 Steve L. said...

that being said, Elena’s poetry readings might be the only poetry readings i’ll ever consider attending.
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and i only say that because i have nothing but utmost respect for poet-performers.

serious!

3:59 pm April, 21 boondoggle said...

Do PTP hotts qualify for Most Expensive First Date Hott of the year or is there some kind of exemption for models?

5:11 pm April, 21 Laura said...

Douche looks like he’s wearing hammer pants. Can’t touch this!

5:26 pm April, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Loser. Hammer Pants are usually neon or gold.

6:37 pm April, 21 Mr. White said...

@darksock
Eerie coincidence: My birthday was exactly one week ago.
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You’re in the process of stealing my identity, aren’t you? I mean, it’s cool if you are. Just curious.

7:28 am April, 22 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

When did potato sacks become fashion?

11:27 am April, 22 Mr. Biggs said...

Madison Avenue, take a good long hard look at what you’ve wrought.

4:16 pm April, 22 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

These models pose for the drawings in the J. Peterman Catalogue.

Wondering what the better part of that b-day gift for Mr White is, the Random Digits or the Deviates…

12:23 am April, 24 Rammy Mai said...

Recently I’ve found an interesting site Photoshopped Image Killer that can detect fake images. Most image analysis software will be created to recognise shapes and objects. But this software is something which can trace manipulations. It’s not much more complex than recognising objects, but almost no one is interested in this kind of software except of course to detect if an image is real or fake…

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