Thursday, April 14, 2011

Quartasian Maggie Seeks Legal Representation

Yesterday’s celebrated and curvacious Quartasian Hottie, Maggie, writes in with a takedown request:

—-
request to remove unauthorized photo

I absolutely do not approve of you using this photograph. I demand you take it down immediately or I will seek legal representation! I DO NOT give you my permission to use my picture. Take it down Immediately.

This is the photo from this morning that I demand be removed:

Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Skinny D and Maggie the Quartasian Hottie

—–

Words spelled correctly. Impressive. Most impressive. But you are not a hottie yet.

While it saddens me to say goodbye to such quartasian hottness, we must bid adieu to mammtastic mammories. But we’ll always have our… mammories.

# posted by douchebag1
9:36 am April, 14 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

I hope you get an takedown e-mail from whatever bleeth it is in this picture with the “I’m easy” sign tattooed on her lower back.

Actually, I hope you get several from various bleeths.

9:43 am April, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Dearest Maggie,
.
I’m still envious of your Mamm buttons and their close proximity to your wondrous Mamm Valley. Please don’t spoil the dream that is my reincarnation as one of your blouse buttons. I dreamt last night that I started a band and named it “Maggies Mamm Buttons” and our first gig was as the opening act for “Bollywood Stunt Horses”. We were paid a case of Troeg’s Nugget Nectar and a handful of Ambien. The real money was made from merchandise table. The shirts and stickers sold ok but it was the “Maggies Mamm Buttons” buttons that sold like hotcakes.

9:51 am April, 14 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Lets fast forward 10 or 20 years and listen in on Maggie-

I absolutely do not approve of you hanging out with your friends. I demand you stop immediately or I will cut you off! I DO NOT give you my permission to hang out with your friends. Call them and cancel your plans immediately. Then fix the dishwasher, take out the trash and scrub the stains in my panties. Who the F bought white bread-you know I only eat whole wheat-where is my Shoedini- you know I need my shoedini-get me my shoedini-

10:07 am April, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I liked Maggie. Real pretty and she had huge comfy cock ballasts. Maggie. your friend Betty can lose ugly, but you can’t lose uptight Bitch, If you don’t like the word bitch let us know and I’ll call you a cunt.

10:08 am April, 14 C.G. said...

crap… i missed her.

10:10 am April, 14 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Well that sucks. Fortunately for me Maggie’s image has been permanently stored in my memory bank.
.
Most people would view this bitchy side as a deal breaking character flaw…but I won’t. Because I’m shallow…

10:15 am April, 14 Goldimocks said...

But Maggie’s tits were so tits! Oh well. Plenty more boobs where that came from. Which I’m guessing is the Boob Ocean.
.
@ONETRUEDOUCHE, I am so glad I do not know what a shoedini is.

10:24 am April, 14 collosus of choads said...

“Return..” references are always funny, but that was good man.

10:28 am April, 14 collosus of choads said...

I meant “Empire” of course…moron.
I just betrayed my childhood.

10:28 am April, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Babies are born, night time falls, leaves turn brown in Autumn and chicks that pose for photos that end up on the internet are so surprised to find them in a different place where they posted them.
.
Don’t curse us, Maggie, curse the Gods of HTML. Where just doing our job.<br.
.
And by doing our job I mean finding freshies to jerk a fresh wad of .
.
The best asian chick named Maggie is Maggie Q:
.

10:39 am April, 14 boone doggle said...

amen vin. amen.

11:04 am April, 14 Anonymous said...

This reminds me of the scene in Slapshot when the players were at that bar watching a soap opera in the afternoon. There was an especially obnoxious woman in the soap opera.

That prompted Morris Wanchuk to utter, “That cunt is no good.”

11:10 am April, 14 Mr. Biggs said...

Aww it’s ok DB1. We still love you. I had a feeling she was too classy a babe to put up with public lust/ridicule. And anyway, she had Buffer Betty to shield her from douchal taint. So a goinpeace Maggie, I have a feeling I’ll marry someone just like you some day.

12:07 pm April, 14 Wheezer said...

Maggie: “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!”
.
Get lost then. Go hang with your douchebag male friends who are telling their broheims how they scored on you. They’re much better company, aren’t they?
.
(rolls eyes)

12:08 pm April, 14 idfma said...

Thank you, Vin. uhhhhnnnn. Thank you.
.
Onetrue–I think you pretty much nailed it.

12:09 pm April, 14 Wheezer said...

Thanks a lot, Vin. Now I’ll never escape my wrist soreness…..

12:22 pm April, 14 I R A Darth Aggie said...

The best asian chick named Maggie is Maggie Q:
.
Ummm…Maggie Q.
.
I bet you’re still on hold with, “Can I get another dead Asian hooker bitch over here right away?”

12:36 pm April, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I love when the “hott chick” writes in with the takedown request. Maggie, don’t you understand that all the attention that came your way was positive? You were flattered. You were wooed. But then you turned into a typical cunt who can’t appreciate attention from non-douches because you are embarrassed to know that you willing hang out with douches. Grow the fuck up you silly twat.

12:41 pm April, 14 justadouchalo said...

I guess I’d cut her a break for not having a lawyer already on retainer like the rest of the complainers.

2:43 pm April, 14 Goldimocks said...

@Doc B 12:36p, daaaang, it not like she called us all a bunch of nerdy basement dwellers, she just wanted her pic taken down. When’s the last time you got laid man?

3:16 pm April, 14 Wedgie said...

Maybe she didn’t quite grasp the premise of the site…..you know, she thought we were mocking her. Now, in reading the comments thread, it seems most of us licked….errr….liked her.
Like Bagpolean’s Josephine, and Brooke Banner before her, she had to open her mouth and ruin it. Pity.

4:15 pm April, 14 Goldimocks said...

^Shame, some chicks just don’t know how to take overtly pervy compliments and offers of having their ta-tas painted in man butter, the right way. I mean that’s how my grandpa nailed my grandma. Times, they are a changin’.

4:42 pm April, 14 Menschenjaeger said...

I need to ask – why, exactly, do we honor these takedown requests, again?

4:48 pm April, 14 douchebag1 said...

@Menschenjaeger, I do it as a courtesy, not out of legal obligation.
.
– management

7:01 pm April, 14 Steve L. said...

let us never speak of this again and just gawk at her –
FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCKING SHITFACE COCKSUCKERS (#@*$&)!@(*$#!@(*(@#$%& –












y’know what? we MUST speak about this incident. repeatedly. for decades.

8:55 pm April, 14 creature said...

I call a dump that jettisons from my rump like an asteroid a ‘Maggie’

9:35 pm April, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

Dear Maggie,
Piss up a rope.
.
I can’t do any better than that at the moment. I’ll try harder tomorrow.

10:47 pm April, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Give Maggie a break. SHe’s obviously highly embarrassed at being on this site, let alone maybe learning how others mock her and feel about her and the douchebag types shes’ photo’d with.

DB1, you lways do the gentlemanly thang.

9:13 am April, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I have a feeling that DB1 has a super secret file folder hidden on his personal iPad where he stores all the pics from hotties who haved demanded take down requests. And on those occasional long lonely nights, when the capybara have taken over the streets of LA, the boss will crack open a case of Hostess cupcakes, pop the top on a bottle of Boones Farm Tickle Pink, stretch his feet up on the coffee table, set the images to auto slide show, and polish his collection of early American buffalo chip salt and pepper shakers.

One day boss, you’ll need an heir to the throne. And with that throne you’d better provide the password to that file.

12:05 pm April, 15 Stephanie said...

Maggie you won’t be famous anymore,your 6 minutes are up. Have a sense of humor. It’s only mocking after all,are you really hurt?

12:37 pm April, 16 Ted Brogan said...

I guess that Maggie works in the department of redundancy department.

Boobs.

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